To my Half-Blood Prince,

I hope with all of my heart that this finds you and that you are safe. I hope that our Flitwick-interrupted moment will not be our last. I hope and so I live on. But just as I hope, I regret. I regret waiting so long to voice my thoughts. For once in my life I kept my know-it-all mouth shut and I regret it. I regret not being able to fully voice myself before you were gone from here, gone from me. With that in mind, and you for that matter, I must continue my thoughts through this letter. It is of the utmost importance that I get this all out and I do so hope that you will take the time to read it all. I do not wish to continue a what-if existence. Whether you respond to this or not I will be somewhat satisfied in knowing that I at least tried. So without further ado...

I read all I could about Hogwarts and its faculty before I ever boarded the Hogwarts Express for the first time. I knew that you were an accomplished Potions Master and that you, above all others, could teach me things that mattered. You barely glanced at me during the sorting, not recognizing me but knowing that I was no relation to your normal pure blooded Slytherin crowd. I saw you sneer at my placement and Harry's as well. He once told me the hat had nearly placed him in Slytherin but I never told him that I too had nearly been placed in your house. What would you have done had we been in your beloved house? But we weren't, or more importantly- I wasn't. I remember your entire speech from our first lesson by heart. I tried to show you how much I had studied and learned to be at a level I deemed appropriate for studying under you. I tried to show you that I was worthy of being taught by you. Although my every attempt at proving myself seemed only to further your dislike of me, I continued to strive for nothing but excellence.

I managed to set your robes aflame but not your interest in me. Although I could tell that you sincerely doubted that I was stupid enough to tackle a fully grown mountain troll at the age of twelve I couldn't see anything but dislike for me in your eyes. I figured out your potions riddle and thought myself clever. I stole from you and didn't learn my lesson until my supposed cleverness failed me for the first time as I became part feline and resident of the Hospital Wing. As soon as I had recovered from that horrible period I was back in the Hospital Wing again. I was petrified and your express efforts made me better. You tried to protect me from Sirius Black back in my third year when everyone thought him an insane murderer. I understand that you've got your own personal reasons for disliking Sirius but he, rest his soul, had horrible judgment and treated you appallingly- unfortunately he passed those traits on to Ron and Harry as I'm sure you have noticed. In one night you saved me from a wanted Azkaban escapee and a werewolf. It seemed that even though you didn't appear to care about my cleverness you did care about my safety and well being. Not only did you place yourself between me and a werewolf but you were injured for doing so, saving me from bodily harm. You could've been killed... died saving me and yet you didn't seem to care at the time.

Although I have always respected you, I viewed you in an entirely new light when I learned that you were a spy. Whose side you are on doesn't really matter to me as long as you never stop saving this mindless little Gryffindor. I'm not going to carry on with continued school blithering because school is over and it doesn't look as if Hogwarts is going to re-open. I came of age in September and have been trying rather unsuccessfully to find the courage that the sorting hat saw in me to tell you what exactly it is that I am having such a hard time articulating. My cleverness seems to have failed me again.

When I walked into your office, leaving Luna Lovegood to watch the hall, I don't know what exactly I planned on saying past, "Professor, I feel that it is very important that we speak." but I had figured that the sip of Felix Felicus would lead the way to my well spoken confession. That is, until Professor Flitwick burst in squealing about Death Eaters in the school and I saw that look in your eye. It was the same look as when you saved me from Lupin in werewolf form but there was a quick flicker of fear as if a terrible thought, beyond Flitwick's message and perhaps even triggered by it, had occurred to you. Before you could even get to your feet the Flelix Felicus in me had made me stun Flitwick from behind. How ironic it was to use the non-vocal spells that both you and Flitwick had taught me on such an occasion. You looked at me as if you were shocked and stood. I kissed you quickly on the cheek as I pushed you out the door and urged you on. I didn't know whose hero you were running off to be but I knew then as I know now that you could never do anything that I would construe as wrongdoing. As you bolted from your office I bid Luna into the room and told her that Flitwick has collapsed.

I care for you, Severus Snape, as more than any student can care for a teacher. I care for you more than I care for myself and I honestly can't say when such a change from respect and adoration to these feelings I have took place. It was, I believe, sometime over the summer when the Prophet started publishing casualty lists. Harry and Ron were with me at the Burrow. Who else would I be searching day after day for, hoping not to see on those lists? I realized that I searched the lists of the fallen only to make sure that they did not include you. I realized that although I have much to fear in the day and age in which we live, especially with my parentage, that I fear your death more than anything else. I fear for you as perhaps your feared for me by the Whomping Willow as you put yourself in harms way only to protect me. I fear and feel for you more than I do for Harry and Ron. You have replaced my supposed best friends in both my heart and my thoughts by doing nothing but hating me and being present in my life for six years.

You may not care for me or even care that I care for you but I just wanted you to know. I hope that you have read this far. Dumbledore's funeral is tomorrow but I doubt you'll be in attendance with things as they currently are. Even if you did care and you came for me, it would be highly unwise although I doubt you need telling. I may have a more accurate idea of what happened on the Astronomy Tower than anybody else or I may just be loony. I do know, however, that you are now free fro you Unbreakable Vow with Draco Malfoy's mother. I know alot of things that you would be surprised that I know but you never were impressed by anything I knew so I doubt you would be now.

Please respond to this if it is at all possible. I would rather live my most-likely short life knowing that these feelings are unrequited than not knowing if you are alive or dead. Even if I am nothing to you, I have kept your secrets for a long time and you will remain everything to me. No matter your allegiances, I am thoroughly and truly yours,

H.J.G