I awoke to find my body piercing cold. I inhaled a breath of air only to find it thin. I was gasping at this point. I leaped from my bed to the window, placing my hand on the glass that froze to the cause of bad weather. Abruptly I jolted my hand back from the window. Maybe I was imagining it all. It's not cold; I only think it is I convinced myself. I ran into the living room to the front door, slowly opening it. Then I felt it, the blow of rushing cold air, blowing at my face. I shut the door quickly, damning Mother Nature under my breath. I didn't want it to be cold today, not today. I sighed and as I went to turn I felt a slight warm hand around my torso, jerk me aggressively back. It was Toni and I felt my heart accelerate.
"I can't keep going on like this Emily." He whispered lushly in my ear. I closed my eyes fearfully as he passed his fingertips down along my neck.
"Pl-please-" I managed to burst out. He turned me around swiftly to view my expression which was worried. As much as I longed for this moment, I had to resist it. He stared, passion broad in his chocolate eyes. He kept one hand, pinned to my back, holding me in place while his other hand brushed my cheek.
"But I can't Emily." he emphasized. "For so long I've seated myself back, trying to push back this urge but I can't Emily. I can't." in that moment I tried to free myself from his hold but he held me in place.
"Toni please I beg of you, please don't do this-"
"Emily I-"
"No, don't say I it." I demanded pleadingly.
"I love you Emily." he finally said. I widened my eyes shaking my head in disbelief.
"No you don't." I denied. Eagerly he nodded his head.
"Yes, yes I do and I can't bear to hold it in nay longer." right then and there he forced himself on top of me. His violently, soft, and warm lips setting firmly against mine. I tried to resist and pull away but he firmly placed my face in-between his hands, keeping me there until I gave him some sort of response. I clutched my fingers at the baggy pajama shirt he wore and braced myself for the decision I was about to make. I gave up from my desperate attempt to get lose and found myself kissing him back. Our lips in rhythm to each other and all the while I felt this feeling I've wanted to fulfill for so many months, unleash itself. All of my hidden passion unfolded with the blink of an eye. I felt his hands slide down my waist, then back up again to the strap of my nightgown, where he quickly knocked it down, his lips taking a break from mine to move hesitantly down my neck and collarbone. I took deep breaths and shockingly coming back from my childish act. I gasped pushing him back and way from me, fixing the straps from my night gown.
"This is wrong Toni." I managed to get out. Common sense coming over me. "we have to stop this, we can't do this anymore!" I snapped at him. He only stood stiff, taking in deep breaths, controlling his vulnerability he'd unleashed himself upon me.
"I can't hold it in Emily, just let me-"
"no!" I snapped. I felt my jaw quiver, I wanted to break into tears for breaking his heart.
"why are you doing this to me Emily?" he uttered. I bit my lip and began up the stairs muttering my last words to him.
"I'm sorry."