Disclaimer: If I owned Tekken, I would reduce Nina, Christie and Asuka's breast sizes.
Author's Note: Need… to… vent… badly… Incorporated Tekken-y substance again. This will probably be very confusing at first. It's clearly more vent than anything but blahhh… I tried. Feel free to quirk your eyebrow and go 'wtf'.
DIAMOND THREADS
Rhombus.
Four sides. And Four corners.
It doesn't really take a genius to figure that out. A kid could work that out.
But suppose there was a nice little dot in the centre. Or, a large one, your choice. But its there, straight in the middle. A beacon of shining light, something of high value. A thing. This wonderful, exquisite, charming… thing. An object of desire. Something that is needed, something that is (allegedly) irreplaceable, and is just so damn… 'special'. Like a jewel.
Now pretend that the corners aren't actually corners at all. Pretend they're beating paper hearts, full of life, love, want, hope and every other emotion that you can write on them. Ink is their blood, their precious, precious blood. The veins, aortas, whatever, of these hearts, the prized passages of said blood; is a piece of string. A measly piece of string. Sturdy yet quite easily breakable. Fragile would be the right word for it.
Four strings for each corner, all connected to the central… thing. Like a system.
For the hell of it, let's pretend that's a heart too.
Through the red blood cells and all, there are many feelings, thoughts, and so on; travelling back and forth between the four hearts and the central heart. They all beat strongly, caring for the central heart as the central heart cares for the five of them. Always the same feelings. Friendship. Tears. Laughter. Anger. Memories. Assistance. Care.
Even love.
For all.
At some point, love has been sent down the veins of the four hearts. One at a time, at separate times, separate intervals, separate strengths, separate… everything. One heart has been wired to the central one for almost five years. Another has only been there for half the time. A third has been disconnected and reconnected several times. The fourth's string is very long because of the distance.
But every heart, in some way, has received the injection.
Or overdose.
Let's go from the oldest to the youngest heart. From the longest connection time to the shortest.
The five-year-old heart got the first pump. It wasn't much but it was there. It happened. The seed had been placed in the soil, and tended too proficiently. The feeling was returned, though not as strongly. And it was different too. The central heart sent out a romantic request, but in return it received a sibling feeling, laced with only a little of the romantic feelings it longed for. But that's okay. Not much of a problem, right?
This next one had faulty wiring. The connection keeps dropping in and out. The vein clots and un-clots. But irregardless it's easily received the most amount of love. It responded to the silent call, returning every feeling that was sent out to it with its own. Mutely. The love was – well… is strong here, but certain circumstances have had the vein sliced open, and then restitched.
The next one has the longest string. It took a really long time for the central heart's care to get through to it, but it got through after three or so long, hard years. But by the time the feelings were sent back through the wire, it was too late to start anything. The central heart had allocated its time to someone else, and this one was left in the dark. But it's not anyone's fault. It's what makes them human.
The last one, the two-and-a-half-year-old heart… happened very quickly. And slowly. But quickly, and slowly, and – wow, that doesn't make sense… Well… Love was hesitantly sent back and forth. Bonds were forged, strengthening the string, though nothing really… advanced for a while. A fair while. This fourth heart is struggling a little to keep stable, but it knows that it can draw love from the central one at any time for strength. It knew it'd always be there.
Who have hearts though? Everyone, everything, obviously…
But animals can't think to this extent, can they?
People. They're all people, caught in this web.
Person A, five-year-old heart. Person B, faulty veined heart. Person C, long wire heart. Person D, two-and-a-half-year-old heart.
And… a diamond. A diamond in the rhombus.
Let's just say a diamond. It'll be easier to distinguish though it's far from the truth.
The central heart, person, whatever… despite what other people tell it; it isn't, can't be that special.
The little love doses sent between the Diamond and Person A strengthened into a sibling friendship, with hints of attachment between each other. Both think it'd be pretty cool to get together, one day. However both think that they'll end up using one another. Person A still loves someone else, and doesn't want to use the Diamond. The Diamond doesn't want to use Person A as a last resort. The sibling friendship is maintained.
"In this huge world, if I had a brother, you'd definitely be it. Biological or not."
"You kick my true sister's ass any day."
The connection between Person B and the Diamond is much more complicated. Both unquestioningly love each other, would die for each other, and so on. It's just sometimes they annoy the hell out of each other far too much. Far too much. But that's normal, right? Everyone has someone like that. It's just… It's just… God, where to start.
"You know I love you. And it won't ever stop. Even when you're married and have kids, I'll be the stupid idiot still wanting you."
True to both sides.
"I'd be cutting up without you. I'd be loveless without you, and that's a huge thing to me…"
Again, true to both sides. But why hasn't anything happened? Why has the tether not become unbreakable? Both are willing and whatever, the feelings are there and stuff but… The Diamond's scared. Person B may or may not be, it's kinda hard to tell, but the Diamond is very scared. But then again, there's always a fear when doing something for the first time. Maybe it's just that. But again it's hard to tell. So they stay as they are, because it's safer. It's so much safer to just stand there… Wanting. Watching. Waiting.
Person C and the Diamond… if the circumstances were different, that unbreakable tether may as well have been in place. But guess what? It still broke, because of the distance between them. The Diamond grabbed a pair of scissors and cut the string when it became too much to bear. Thinking every day and night about Person C, only to know that Person C is so far out of reach… to the point where the Diamond didn't shine anymore. Or as bright, at least. It was self defence.
"Everything I did, I did with love in my heart. I just wanted to show that I cared and that I could be here for you, even if I am not there. I want you to understand one thing: before I met you I was in the worst possible place of my life and I put everything I had on the line when I said that I loved you. Then it all got thrown back at me. I feel that I have lost everything…"
The Diamond already knew… but… with that huge surge of love sent back, it became too much. It may as well have been clinging, screaming at the jewel to never let go, regardless of everything. The time with Person C was fun and everything but… now… even after the bloody battle, after the ink had been strewn everywhere and the paper heart long crushed… Person C still loved, and loves, the Diamond. But it's becoming too much now.
"Just wanted one last chance to say that I love you. I figure it probably wouldn't be right anymore after this. Don't need you getting in trouble because I can't keep my mouth shut or control my feelings. I just feel… well I don't really know what I feel. I just don't want to be the reason that you hold back on something."
Why say that, Person C?
Well. Let's move onto Person D first.
The easiest to get along with. The one who, like the others, would do anything for the Diamond. But unlike the other three, Person D understands the Diamond so, so well. Sure, everyone understands, but Person D is so acutely aware of the Diamond's wants, needs and so on, that it's scary. The Diamond truly cares about this person, like the others, but there's something different between them. There's no sibling care. There's no silent fear. There's no dangerous obsession. There's none of that.
Maybe that's why the Diamond sits in Person D's hand now.
"I need you to know, I cannot say no to you."
Person D's going through some personal stuff at the moment. A crisis here and there and what not, but nonetheless, that unbreakable tether has found a place – between the Diamond and Person D. And they're happy. They might have to wait for a while, for these crises to pass, but they're willing to wait. They both found someone, they've found what they wanted.
But with finding each other, three paper hearts are torn.
The Diamond, though aware of Person A's attraction, thought the 'love' aspect, not including the sibling friendship, was long gone. Little did the Diamond know, it was still there. Perhaps not as strong as it used to be, but it was there irregardless, making itself apparent to the Diamond and world around them.
"You know, if you two didn't get together, I was going to ask you out this week. Because, you know, you're special to me."
A concept the Diamond still can't understand. Special…?
Surprisingly, Person B is okay. The Diamond can't really tell whether its silent hurt like their silent love, but in actuality, it's the Diamond who ends up in tears, crying, wondering why this had to happen, why the Diamond had to be selfish, just once in this life, instead of looking after everyone else around, which was the norm. But through that, they make yet another silent agreement – that one day, they'd try, when they're a little older. Once the fear has died down a little, amongst other things. But one day. One day…
"I love you…"
"I love you too."
"I understand… if you don't want to talk to me for a while. Just let me know when –"
"You gotta stop offering to leave. I never wanted that and I never will, okay?"
As expected, Person C is torn to pieces. The paper heart is put in a shredder, and then the pieces are placed back in. And as for those pieces, well… every piece is torn individually by hands. The Diamond was well, well aware that Person C still had feelings. The Diamond knew it was going to hurt, but the person wasn't hurting as bad as after their war.
That's why Person D said the whole "Just wanted one last chance to say…" thing. And so on. You get the picture.
And through all four people, the Diamond gets told the same thing.
"You're special to me."
"You're always a special case."
"You're so precious, so special, honestly."
"I don't know where I'd be without you, you're special."
So. I. Scream.
Why?
And the same things just keep coming back –
"You're always there for me. I know that you'll always be there for me in my times of need."
"Don't you think you've done everything you've just described, about what I've done for you; for me?"
"I can't speak for anyone else, but you're smart, funny, beautiful, kind, caring, fun to be around, fun to just talk with about nothing, you have a way of cheering me up, we have so much in common and… there's just too much to even think of."
"You know, you're the only one who can bring a tear to my eye. For good things and for when you're feeling down."
I am not special.
I can't be special to so many people.
And it's not even the four who love me, its other people too. My family, my best friends, everything…
It hurts…
The only thing I can comprehend is curling into a ball, sticking my head into the sand and wishing it all away.
It was so much easier to be one of the corners, I swear to God. Being in the middle, being the one to make this decision… it's so hard. A while ago, I was one of you, you know. I was a Person A, B, C, D, whatever. One, two, three, four. Well technically it was three. It was a triangle. A very harsh triangle, very, very harsh indeed.
And I lost out. But I gained too.
You'll all gain, I promise.
You all love me, I love you all back.
Corner one, Person A. My metaphorical brother. My sibling love for you is incessant. You'll be okay. Don't look so down, don't just throw yourself down in the dumps, whether it's because of me or her. You'll be okay. Everything will be fine. The string between you and I is still really strong, Eddy.
Corner two, Person B. My… everything. I don't know what to call you because at some stage or another, you've been everything. I have endless love for you too. One day. I promise. But neither of us are ready for it now. Believe. Maybe our string isn't unbreakable, but damn, it's close enough… Isn't it, Hwoarang?
My friend. Our friendship will always stand. There's someone out there better than me. I'm not the be all and end all. Trust in yourself, stop making yourself out to be this unlovable beast, because in the end, you'll make yourself to be that. Our string has been cut but… let's try fixing it, shall we, Jin?
And now… you. My… future? I don't know what to call you. But just you wait. Your crises will fly by. And my whirlwind head will stop spinning, and I'll be able to see clearly. I guess it's good that we're waiting, because it'll give us both time to sort our stuff out. Then we can throw ourselves head first into this… relationship. Let's tend to the unbreakable tether, Steve.
The strings still stand. Don't forget that. They still all pump love, only it's different. And you still all feed.
You all still feed, and Julia Chang still gives.
