Summary: A tabloid magazine is interested in the Goddess of Victory's personal life. Pyrrha has a perfectly normal and healthy relationship with a plastic Jaune figurine.
The Pure Love of Pyrrha Nikos
RWBY
Written from the perspective of Pyrrha Nikos
Oooh
We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching, but you're too shy to say it
Inside, we both know what's been going on
We know the game and we're gonna play it
And if you ask me how I'm feeling
Don't tell me you're too blind to see
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
(Ooh, give you up)
(Ooh, give you up)
Never gonna give, never gonna give
(Give you up)
Never gonna give, never gonna give
(Give you up)
We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching, but you're too shy to say it
Inside, we both know what's been going on
We know the game and we're gonna play it
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Hello!
Um... thank you for having me for this interview. I'm Pyrrha. I'm just your average girl... and-um-I look average? I suppose I do think I'm a bit strong... some people might call me the strongest of my generation. Ahhh-but that's too embarrassing!
Still.
I'm a girl.
And I have wants too, you know?
So... I got myself a boyfriend recently...
Yes. Want to meet him?
Be careful... he doesn't like to be touched by anyone other than me.
Ah-ah... he likes you! How can I tell? If you lick him at just the right spot-oh? The taste? Sorry it's a bit salty! Um... Jaune hasn't showered yet...
Yeah. He's handsome isn't he!
I'm really lucky he accepted me...
Oh?
No.
I don't know anything about that.
Please. What are you saying?
Jaune's right here.
What do you mean he's missing? Oh. Just his head's missing. Well that's no surprise...
Wait.
Stop.
This interview is over.
W-wait...
D-do you... smell that...? It s-smells... s-smells... l-like... blood...
Blood.
Kill...
Maim...
BURN!
KILL MAIM BURN!
I'M GOING TO GOUGE YOUR EYES OUT AND CHUCK-SPEARS DOWN YOUR SOCKET FOR TRYING TO STEAL HIM AWAY FROM ME.
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD. SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE.
Ruby: Holy fuck.
Blake: Isn't this live?
Yang: I guess Pyrrha's too attracted to Jaune! Hahaha!
Blake: Yeah... but weren't we looking for Jaune's killer?
Yang: You saw how badly we messed up with the White Fang stuff? Man, let the cops handle this one.
Weiss pops some popcorn into her mouth.
She gently pats Jaune's head resting in her giant purse.
Weiss (internally): All according to keikaku (keikaku means plan)
The Pure Love of Pyrrha Nikos Fin