Unemployed in Greenland
DISCLAIMER-I do not own any of these characters or places, except for Shilia and Gurdo.
Fezzik gazed up at the night sky. Stars danced in the black void above. Silver moonbeams extended their fingers down to the sea and cast a crystal gleam upon the water. Serenity. Solitude. Peace. The gentle rocking of the boat on the calmed waves, the distant crying of seabirds on the cliffs. For once in his life, Fezzik felt capable of total relaxation. However, it was impossible. Someone needed to steer the ship through the darkness. As usual, it was Fezzik's job. As he leaned against the wheel and gazed off into the distance, the wistful aura of the night was shattered by the sudden recollection of Vizzini's words that afternoon.
"And you—friendless, brainless, helpless, hopeless! Do you want me to send you back to where you were? Unemployed in Greenland?"
His words stung like a hundred hornets. They brought back painful memories of the past…
"FEZZIK!" Get over here now!" Gurdo yelled through the forest. His voice whizzed through the endless sea of snow-covered evergreens to a secluded glade, where the giant was bent over a wounded fawn, oblivious to the master huntsman's calls. The young deer had a deep gash on it's leg, and the blood had stained the snow red. Fezzik, who had a great love for animals, had ripped off a piece of his shirt and was wrapping it around the fawn's leg.
Gurdo waited for his huge apprentice to appear but, seeing that he would not get a reply of any sort, he adjusted his fur cloak and cap, swung his quiver of arrows over his shoulder, picked up his longbow, and ran off in search of Fezzik. When he finally reached the giant, he groaned inwardly and stood right in front of him.
"What do you think you're doing?" Gurdo exclaimed.
"This baby deer is hurt," mumbled Fezzik.
"Well, that's too bad," scoffed Gurdo.
"I-I just couldn't bear to leave it like that."
"Really? Welcome to the world of hunting. Animals get hurt. If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen. I've told you exactly…eleven times: the next time I see you playing around with game instead of killing it, you're fired. And last time, I meant it."
"You can't fire me, Gurdo!" moaned Fezzik. "You know I need a job."
"Let me spell it out for you, my walking Everest: F-I-R-E-D. Fired!"
It was obvious that the topic was not open for discussion. Gurdo trotted off, shaking his head, leaving Fezzik no other option other than to return home, once again unemployed.
Gurdo was covered with tiny snowflakes when he finally reached Shilia's house in the village. It looked very much like a hunting lodge, somewhere which always felt like home to the hunter.
He knocked three times on the wooden door with his gloved hand. After a few moments, a young woman with a long blonde braid dressed in hunting clothes opened the door.
"I take it you are pest control?" asked Gurdo.
"More like monster extermination," replied Shilia haughtily. "I only do the big jobs—dragons, wooses, that sort of thing."
"How about…giants?"
Shilia eyed him for a minute. "Are you talking about Fezzik?"
Gurdo nodded. "How much do you charge?"
"Nothing."
"You would work for free?" said Gurdo, astonished.
"No. I won't work at all. Just fire him," said Shilia nonchalantly.
"I did, but he won't leave me alone! He knocks on my door in the middle of the night, he pesters me in town, he shadows me in the forest. You've got to help me!"
"Look, I rid the land of trolls and goblins and things that go bump in the night, NOT annoying, unemployed, meat-headed hulks!" exclaimed Shilia in exasperation. Then she regained her composure. "But if you want to get rid of Fezzik, talk to Vizzini. He's down at the ship docks."
"Profession?"
"Nothing noble—thief, smuggler, occasional murderer. He's a Sicilian. Since the winter is somewhat mild, he sailed up here in search of new crew members…or henchmen. Just don't tell Fezzik that. Go to Vizzini and ask if he would be in need of a giant. Stress the part about his strength. Vizzini's ship should be in dock five."
Fezzik lumbered down the docks until he came to the fifth. A short, stout man jumped down from the ship and came to meet him.
"Are you Mr. Vizzini?" Fezzik inquired.
"That's me," replied Vizzini. "Fezzik?"
"Yes, sir."
"I suppose you've heard that I'm looking for a giant."
"Yes, Gurdo told me. I am interested. You see, I haven't been able to find work here."
"Well, you'll find your wages to be quite satisfactory. All I need is a strong man like yourself to take care of the heavy work on board the ship. Can you handle that?"
"Yes, sir," said Fezzik cheerfully.
"Well, then it's settled. Climb aboard, Fezzik. Climb aboard. We set sail for Spain in an hour."
Now, two years later, Fezzik regretted leaving so blindly. In the balance of things, he would rather have done odd jobs around the village than get paid well to be a criminal. It was a path he had been tricked into taking. At present, there seemed to be no escape.
As of the next day, nothing would be the same for Fezzik.