Ranma's Wives: X-Men Edition! – By Ocramed
Disclaimer: R1/2, SM, ST and other properties belong to their respective owners.
Note: This is a one-shot story. C&C are welcomed.
Special Note: This is a side-story to "Ranma's Wives".
For some reason, Ranma Saotome has always been drawn to strange women, and nothing is more "stranger" than mutant human females. Or, more to the point, strange women, mutant or otherwise, were drawn to him. In fact, Ranma, thanks to his mutant ability to attract women, he ends up being married to a few of them, with the worse being telepaths…
Jean Grey, aka "Marvel Girl" went into the future with her fellow X-Men, the SECOND class, she was shocked to learn how her life would turn out. And knowing how her life would turn out with Scott "Cyclops" Summers would turn out, Jean, usually the more level-headed of Professor Charles Xavier's student, made the most irrational decision in her young life.
She married her long-term crush Ranma Saotome, aka "Ronin", in a quick marriage ceremony in Las Vegas, and, needless to say, neither young Cyclops nor the older version was pleased by this.
FRAK!
"Yow!" Ranma said, as he nimbly dodges young Cyclop's blasts, just as old Cyclops tried to blast HIM in the back.
FRAK!
"Ow!" Ranma yelled, as he was blasted in the back, and into the wall of one side of the Xavier Mansion that served as a research institute, rather than as the school it used to be.
BLAM!
"Ranma!" Jean yelled. She then turned towards the two Cyclops.
"How dare you…hurt my husband!" Jean yelled, as she prepared to do some damage of her own.
"Jean, calm down!" young Cyclops said. "You have to listen to yourself."
"What are you talking about?" Jean asked.
"If you marry Ranma, then our lives will be different," said old Cyclops, as he surveys the scene. He was picking up a powerful energy signature.
"Wait, he's about to attack-"
FWOOSH!
Chi-based attack erupts from below young Cyclop's feet, blasting him into the air. Old Cyclops knew that Ranma was not going to harm his younger self, so he kept his focused on where Ranma was going to emerge.
"Scott?" Jean said, just as she grabs her ex-boyfriend with a TK grip.
"Oh, now, you care," young Cyclops said.
"I will always care about you, but I realized that I have to live MY life MY way," Jean said. She then turned towards where old Cyclops was scanning the area, having learned how to differentiate energy signatures.
"I know you're around here, somewhere," old Cyclops said. "You have to come out into the open, if you want to finish this-"
SOK!
As old Cyclops falls to ground unconscious, as Ranma lowers his right fist.
"And…scene," Ranma said, as he checked his vital signs.
Just then, Emma Frost, aka the White Queen, the absorbing-power mutant named Rogue, the phasing mutant adventurer named Katherine "Kitty" Pyrde and the other members of Professor X's first student.
"Hey!" said Bobby "Iceman" Drake, and he and his counter-part slid in. "What happened?"
"Ah, man, look at that?" old Iceman asked. "Did fearless leader get schooled by the great Ranma Saotome?"
"I believe that you're right," said young Iceman. "And I believe you owe me a buck."
"I believe I do," said old Iceman, as he hands over a dollar coin.
"Um, I can't tell the difference between my Iceman and your Iceman," said Warren "Angel" Worthington III, as he flexed his feathered wings.
"That's because MY Iceman has never grew out of his maturity," said the blue-skinned 'Archangel'. Unlike his younger counter-part, Archangel's "feathers" were made from metal shards that could be used as razor-like weapons, and let loose as throwing projectiles.
"Huh…"
"What is going on here?" Lady Ororo "Storm" Monroe, "Mrs. Black Panther" and Queen of Wakanda, and senior member of X-Men. "Ranma?"
"The same thing that usually happens around here, where I am concerned," Ranma groused. "Somebody finds out about who I'm married to around here, and then I get attacked."
"Well, you do have a way with jealous boyfriends," Kitty said jokingly. "But, you did hold your own against Piotr."
"Don't remind me," Ranma scoffed. "Last time I went five rounds with 'Metal Gear', he had his powers upgraded to 'Juggernaut' status. Bleh…"
Ranma's mind flashes back to when the metal mutant Colossus, enhanced by the power of the Juggernaut, had nailed Ranma into the ground. Ranma responded by releasing his limiters, in the form of his arm bracers, which allowed Ranma to utilize his full potential. And although Colossus was a Juggernaut, empowered by the demon Cytorrak, was powerful, Ranma took advantage of Colossus using his speed to get at his one blind spot: a Juggernaut is only unstoppable in one direction, moving forward. Thanks to this insight, Ranma applied the Ultimate Weakness Moxibustion to Colossus before finishing him off with the Dragon Rising Ascension Technique.
After all, who says experience does not have a pay off, especially since Kitty ended up marrying the man who had defeated her ex-boyfriend in honorable combat?
"Well, I was impressed," Kitty said.
"Yeah, you would," Ranma groused.
"What is he talking about?" asked young Cyclops.
The ladies of the X-Men team, with the exception of Emma Frost, who looks indignant, turn to look away…
"Oh, ho!" young Iceman said. "Looks like Ranma has his own harem-"
WHAM!
"OW!" said young Iceman, after Rogue removes her fist from his head.
"That's enough of THAT, Sugah," Rogue replied.
"Wait, so, Jean, what about that?" young Cyclops said to Marvel Girl. "Ranma is no good for you."
"Scott," Jean said tiredly.
"Jean…you knew?" young Cyclops asked. "But…why?"
"Because, Scott, our lives would have turned out to be…tragic," Jean said, as she motions to a still unconscious old Cyclops. "You never got over me, both in life and in death, and our…kids, well…"
"But I can change!" young Cyclops said. "I don't want to lose you…"
"And you won't," said a voice from within the throng of gathering X-Men. A red-headed girl steps forth.
"Who are you?" young Cyclops asked. "And…why do you look like Saotome's girl form?"
"You haven't met Hope Summers, my girl clone," Ranma said. "But it's what is inside that does matter, Scott…"
Realization dawns on young Cyclops' face.
"You're…JEAN?"
"Surprise," Hope said with a smile.
"And you knew about this?" young Cyclops asked Jean.
"The revelation is what helped me make my decision," Jean said. "I can't love you anymore, but Hope still does."
"Why?" young Cyclops asked.
"We have a history together," Hope said, as she glanced at old Cyclops. "But I can't be with THIS person, because he is not the Scott Summers I first fell in love with."
"Oh," young Cyclops said. "But what about not mucking up the space-time continuum or something?"
"Actually, thanks to the supervillain Ultron, the timeline is no longer prone to temporal paradox to the same degree that it once was," said old Beast, as he scratched his furry chin.
"Hank?" young Cyclops said to his own Beast.
"It checks out," young Beast replied. "Our own person timelines are intact, but not the integrity of the timeline itself. For all we know, timeline could change around us, and we wouldn't notice it for weeks."
"Great, just great…"
"Hold on a minute," said young Iceman. "Just who is married to whom?"
"I am married to Ranma-baby," Rogue said. "He's the only guy that I can touch without killing him or take away his powers."
"Years of toughing my 'battle aura' can do that," Ranma said.
"You know about me, of course," Kitty said.
"Then, I must confess," Ororo said. "I, too, am the wife of Ranma Saotome."
"YOU?" said some of the X-Men.
"But…weren't you married to T'Challah, the Black Panther?" asked Emma.
"T'Challah had TWO wives," smirked James Logan "Wolverine" Howlette, as he smoke his cigar.
"Oh, my," Jean said. She then turned towards Ranma.
"Is this true?" Jean asked.
"Jean, a martial artist is willing to sacrifice even his life for victory," Ranma said evenly, as he turned towards Ororo. "And, no, I wasn't the one who made the sacrifice, but it was the sacrifice that allowed Ororo to have TWO husbands…LOGAN."
"Heh," Wolverine said with a grin.
"Then, if the Black Panther has two wives, and Ororo has two husbands, with Ranma being the second husband, who is the Black Panther's second wife?" Jean asked.
Everyone was silent, as the obvious answer pops up.
"USAGI," everyone said in unison.
"So, you pimped out your own wife?" old Iceman asked Ranma.
"Feh, she's the one who suggested it, you know!" Ranma said defensively. "In fact, she's over in Wakanda spending her wedding anniversary with T'Challah, even as we speak…"
Meanwhile, in Wakanda…
"Ahhhhaahhahahahhaha!" yelled Queen Usagi, second consort to King T'Challah the Black Panther, as she swings from a vine and into the private lagoon of the Wakandan Royal Family.
SPLASH!
She swims a bit until she swims next to her other husband.
"You know, I like going on vacations like this, 'Lah-kun'," Usagi said, as she wades in the middle of the lagoon with the Black Panther.
"I am glad that you are enjoying yourself while you are here, my dear," T'Challah replied.
"But I am surprised that you and the people of this land is tolerating our…marriage arrangement," Usagi said.
"Bunny, you and Ranma saved Wakanda more times than anything, first when you two and the Invaders assisted my grandfather in his fight against the Nazi's, and then, more recently, when both Dr. Doom and the so-called Phoenix Five invaded these lands," T'Challah replied. "I, my family and my people owe you a debt of gratitude."
Usagi places a hand on T'Challah's face.
"If you ever want to be the father in the near-future, I would be honored to bear your child," Usagi said.
"And Ranma won't mind?"
"Hey, if he's willing to sacrifice his pride, then I am willing to sacrifice my virtue. We've been friends for a long time, and we, Ranma and I, consider you and Ororo family," Usagi said.
"I will consult with Ororo on this matter first," T'Challah said thoughtfully. "I am SURE that she would want to be the one to bear my heir."
"And I would be honored to be both aunt and godmother to Ororo's child," Usagi said. "But, until that day happens, we should have some fun, yes?"
"Of course," T'Challah said, as he takes Usagi into his loving embrace…
Meanwhile, later, back in the New York…
"So, what do you think?" Ranma said, as he and Jean have a private dinner on top of the Empire State Building.
"I think our relationship will be…weird," Jean said.
"Actually, I was referring to the dinner, but, yeah, I feel you," Ranma said. "But I am surprised that you still want to go through with this…relationship."
"Me, too, to be honest," Jean said, as she sets down her fork. "On one hand, I do not like the idea of being part of some…harem. It's patently sexists."
"But…?"
"But, sometimes the heart wants what the brain doesn't," Jean said with a sigh. "And, I do have my space…"
Pause.
"I just hope that my Scott and the other Scott will be okay with all this."
"Well, something tells me that both Scott Summers will be vey okay…"
Over on Coney Island, two couples are walking through the stalls, enjoying the scene of playful merriment.
"You know, maybe we should get out more often," Emma said, as she walks with her Scout with her arms interlocked with his.
"Yeah, so we can watch THEM," said old Cyclops, as his younger counterpart go on their first date.
TING!
"We…have a winner!" said the carnival stall operator, after Hope expertly tosses a ring into the right slot.
"We did it, Scott!" said Hope, as she hugs young Cyclops, even as the carnival operator prepares to hand over Hope's prize to her.
"No, you did it," young Cyclops said, as he hugs Hope.
Hope. How aptly named a situation such as this, where young Cyclops' happiness was…
Fin.