A Bridge Over Troubled Hogan
A simple mission, a simple mining of a bridge and a simple blowing up of a convoy! That is until Carter makes his biggest mistake yet leaving himself, Hogan and Newkirk stranded…
A/N: If I owned Hogan's Heroes would it have only gone for 6 seasons? I think not!
I'm an Aussie and so is my spelling :)
This first chapter is a little longer than I would have liked, the others won't be so long I promise! There's going to be about 10 chapters all up.
This is my first fic ever so please be nice, constructive criticism is welcome so long as it's constructive. Enjoy!
oOo
Colonel Robert E. Hogan flipped up the collar on his trench coat against the bitter morning breeze and turned the page of his newspaper. His eyes travelled across the Hammelburg Park, searching for someone in particular, seeing nothing but snow covered trees and footpaths and the occasional couple that braved the cold for a morning stroll. Looking back down at his newspaper his eyes passed unseeingly over the German words. Instead he was thinking about the corny recognition code he had already given to two strangers that morning with no success.
Shivering, he decided he would give their new contact – code name Baby Bear- another ten minutes to show before he went back to Stalag 13. It wasn't much but at least he would not get frostbite there, well, at least not as badly. A lone figure captured his attention as he entered the park, seemingly headed in Hogan's direction. Upon second glance Hogan noticed that he was in fact a she and his spirits lifted. Besides Hilda, Kommandant Klink's secretary, it had been a while since Hogan had been with a woman. Hogan stood up and put away his newspaper as she approached, sincerely hoping that this was their new contact Baby Bear. Third time's the charm he thought as he took off his hat to greet her.
"Morning, Fraulein," Hogan began in a German accent, "it is certainly a cold morning, ja?" The woman smiled politely and nodded, showing no interest in the conversation. Hogan's confidence dropped as he continued. "On a cold morning like this I like to wake up to a hot bowl of porridge."
The expression on the woman's face did not noticeably change but she seemed more alert as she answered, "You had better be careful that the Papa Bear does not eat it."
Hogan smiled as he finished, "Or the Baby Bear." Baby Bear relaxed as Hogan finished the code. Hogan placed his arm around her so they would appear as a regular couple to any onlookers and continued to walk along the path. Dropping his accent and lowering his voice he said, "Nice to meet you, Baby Bear."
"You are Papa Bear?" She asked him.
"Well, I'm certainly not Mama Bear!" Hogan replied.
She smiled, "You are an American?"
"Only when I'm not pretending to be a German." Hogan responded, reluctant to reveal too much about himself. Hogan noticed that she had also dropped her German accent. "You're French," Hogan said more as a statement than as a question, but she answered anyway.
"Oui." She was obviously not as cautious about revealing personal information as he was. Hogan mentally made a note not to send LeBeau out on any missions with Baby Bear, knowing that any girl was at risk with the excitable Frenchman around, especially one of his own countrywomen.
"Look," Hogan said, figuring it was time they started talking business. "London says you have vital information about the movement of supplies headed for the Eastern Front." Baby Bear seemed surprised that he was so well informed.
"You have contact with London?" she asked, surprised.
"It's free after 6pm," Hogan responded coolly.
"Well, your information is correct. Our spies have reported that twelve trucks carrying supplies are headed to the train station, with two staff cars as escorts." Hogan nodded, taking in all of this new information.
"When are they en route?"
"This Thursday night. We have estimated that the convoy will reach the Hammelburg Bridge at approximately 3:20am."
"Wait, wait," Hogan interrupted, "I thought the Hammelburg Bridge was still being rebuilt?"
"Non," she replied, "construction was complete two weeks ago. This will be the first time it will be used since it was blown up eight months ago."
"That's the problem with the Krauts," Hogan commented. "You blow up one bridge and they just grow another one to replace it."
Baby Bear continued, "The Underground wants the convoy delayed and suggest that you blow up the bridge before the convoy reaches it."
"Or while it's on it," Hogan thought out loud, his brow furrowed in thought.
"Is there another bridge in the area?"
"Oui," she replied, "a smaller bridge about six miles up river. It is the bridge the Germans have been using for the past eight months. Why?"
"Because the Germans are going to be having a sale," Hogan replied. Baby Bear looked at him, confused. "Two bridges for the price of one!" Hogan explained.
"I do not understand," Baby Bear answered confused.
"It's probably best that you don't," Hogan replied.
Noticing that they had reached the end of the park, Hogan removed his arm from around her shoulder and stood in front of her. "I need to get going," he said. "Thanks for the intel." Baby Bear nodded.
"Good luck." Before she could turn away, Hogan took a chance and kissed her in parting.
Pulling away he said, "Pass on my thanks to the Underground."
Baby Bear nodded numbly, "Until next time, Papa Bear," she said before turning away. Before he made his way back to Stalag 13, Hogan took a moment to admire her as she walked in the opposite direction. Sometimes, Hogan thought to himself, sometimes, I like this job.
oOo
"Schultz is gonna be here any minute for roll call!" Sergeant James Kinchloe 'Kinch' stated with a hint of worry as he paused pacing the small living area in Barracks two. "Is there any sign of Colonel Hogan yet?"
"Non," replied Frenchman Corporal Louis LeBeau, after just having checked the tunnel entrance for any sign of their commanding officer, whose entrance he was now sitting on. "But he is only ten minutes overdue. I am sure he will get back soon."
"I don't know about that, LeBeau," RAF Corporal Peter Newkirk added from beside the furnace where he was busy boiling some water for the coffee. "Going into town after being cooped up in 'ere for three years. If it were me I wouldn't be back until at least evening roll call."
"Yeah, evening roll call two weeks later." Sergeant Andrew Carter joined the conversation, from where he sat on his bunk, with a satisfied smile in Newkirk's direction-it wasn't always Carter got in a snide remark about Newkirk.
"You may be right there, Carter," Newkirk dismissed the insult as more of a fact than anything else.
"That's why we sent Colonel Hogan and not you Newkirk," Kinch explained as he began pacing the room again.
The rest of the men of Barracks 2 were still asleep, except for the few light sleepers who had woken to the worries of Hogan's men or Kinch's loud footsteps as he paced over the wooden floorboards.
"We should have got more information about this new contact before agreeing to a meet." Kinch worried that the contact was a Gestapo plant.
"The Underground 'ave worked with 'im plenty of times in the past, Kinch," Newkirk pointed out, "'e'll be fine!" Newkirk was starting to get annoyed at Kinch's worrying as it was starting to make him feel uneasy too.
"Air raid!" LeBeau suddenly called loudly as the bunk he was sitting on began to shake slightly.
"Air raid?" The other men in Barracks two looked up confused. Those who had managed to remain asleep earlier were now all wide awake.
"What are you on about, LeBeau?" Newkirk asked confused, not feeling the slightest tremor of distant bombs.
"Can't you feel the ground shaking?" asked LeBeau who was now sitting up on his bunk.
"That's not an air raid you're feeling, that's Colonel Hogan trying to get back through the entrance!" Kinch exclaimed as he pulled LeBeau away from where he was sitting, allowing the bunk to swing up to admit their C.O.
Hogan had obviously changed since returning and now wore his bomber jacket over his uniform, his crush cap in his hand.
"Hey, fellas!" Hogan greeted them informally as he climbed through the tunnel entrance into the barracks.
"Colonel!" Hogan's men gathered around him, eager to find out how the meeting went.
"I think we need to fix that entrance, it's getting a bit stiff to move," Hogan commented on his entrance.
"It's all right, Colonel, we've found the problem and we've removed the French Corporal causing it," Kinch explained with a smile. Hogan looked to LeBeau with his eyebrows raised.
"Sorry, Colonel," LeBeau shrugged smiling, "I forgot!"
"Well, no more gourmet cooking for you! Judging by how heavy that bunk was you could do with some weight loss!" Hogan joked.
"How'd the meeting go, Colonel?" Kinch asked the question they had all been thinking, as the five of them all moved to the table. "What did Baby Bear have to say about the supplies?"
"Yeah good, the Underground have a mission for us this Thursday night," Hogan began to explain.
"I'd say it went a bit better than good!" Newkirk commented upon examining Hogan's face a bit closer and noticing a small amount of lip-stick. "The Underground never said anything about Baby Bear being a woman!"
"That would have just given us more incentive not to send you, Newkirk," Kinch retorted before going back to what Hogan was saying. "What kind of a mission, Colonel?"
"The blowing up two bridges kind," Hogan explained.
"Two bridges?" LeBeau questioned, surprised.
"That seems a bit greedy now that does, Colonel," Newkirk pointed out.
"Do we even have enough explosives to cover that Colonel?" Kinch seemed to be asking all of the important questions this morning, it seemed to Hogan.
"I'm pretty sure we still have plenty after the last drop London made," Hogan answered, "Though I s'pose that question would really have to be put to our demolition expert. Well, Carter? How are our supplies doing?"
"Oh we've certainly got enough, boy!" Carter replied enthusiastically, "Uh Colonel," he added almost forgetting to use Hogan's rank.
"Good, and we're gonna need two different detonators," Hogan continued, having already made most of the arrangements in his head on his way back to camp that morning. "Just the regular detonator with the fuse and do you recall the detonator we used to mine the Hammelburg Bridge a few months ago?"
"Yeah, I remember," Carter replied nodding, "the one that only detonated when a vehicle of a certain weight passed over it."
"Yeah, that's the one," Hogan confirmed. "We'll also need you to rig another one of those. Can you do it before Thursday?"
"You bet, Colonel!" Carter's eyes lit up with excitement with his task.
"Thursday night," LeBeau said to himself, "Hey! But that's tomorrow night!" He exclaimed loudly upon realization.
"They sure know 'ow to give us the 'eads up now don't they," Newkirk remarked sarcastically.
Hogan chose to ignore them and instead continued, "Now, we'll have to split into two groups…"
Their discussion was interrupted, however, when an all too familiar and regular call sounded outside, and got louder as it approached.
"Roll call! Roll call! Everybody out for roll call!" Sergeant of the guard, Hans Schultz, called loudly through the crisp morning air. The five men who had all been gathered at the table quickly dispersed, some pouring themselves a cup of coffee while others prepared themselves for the cold outside by pulling on large coats. By the time the large Sergeant had entered the barracks all of Hogan's men were casually spread around the room.
"Roll call! Raus, raus, raus, everybody raus!"
"All right Schultz, we're coming, we're coming," Hogan looked up to address Schultz as he poured coffee into his mug. The guard's chubby cheeks were red from the early morning chill and he had obviously not had a chance to shave that morning, as he was displaying a large amount of white whiskers on his chin. "I didn't know Klink had requested new personnel, when did Santa Claus become a Sergeant in the German army?" Hogan commented on Schultz's appearance.
"Humph, jolly joker!" Schultz dismissed Hogan's comment, "Now raus! All of you raus!"
"Who wants to raus at this time in the morning?" Newkirk complained as they all made their way towards the door of the barracks.
"You Englishmen are always complaining!" LeBeau commented as he set down his coffee mug on the table.
"Oh, and I 'spose you enjoy getting up early in the cold weather?" Newkirk remarked sarcastically.
"We Frenchman do not mind a little cold!" LeBeau defended patriotically, to which Newkirk rolled his eyes.
They all filed out the doorway after Schultz which was momentarily blocked by the Sergeant's great bulk. Hogan put his crush cap on his head and zipped up his bomber jacket as he stepped out into the morning chill for the second time that morning. LeBeau shivered as a slight breeze blew on his exposed flesh, a point that Newkirk didn't fail to notice.
"Don't mind a little cold weather, aye?" He commented, winking at the shivering Frenchman.
"Ahh stick a l'endroit ou le soleil ne brille pas!" LeBeau remarked.
"And to you too mate!" Newkirk brushed off the insult with a smile. All the men lined up in their formation, Hogan taking his place at the end of the front row beside Newkirk.
"Eins, zwei, drei…" Schultz began to count the men assembled. Hogan looked to the Kommandantur where Kommandant Wilhelm Klink emerged on the porch wearing his heavy coat with his crush cap tilted to the side and riding crop tucked under his arm.
"Fünfzehn!" Hogan looked back to see Shultz's fat finger resting in front of his nose. Schultz seemed relieved, almost surprised, by the correct count.
"What's the matter, Schultz?" Hogan asked with a smile, "expecting a different number?"
"With you Colonel Hogan, one can never be certain!" Schultz drew this knowledge from past experience.
"Repooooooort!" Kommandant Klink called loudly as he marched over to where the men were assembled.
"All present and accounted for, Herr Kommandant!" Schultz announced proudly as he saluted his superior.
"Very good, Schultz," Klink replied as he returned the salute. "Now…" All the men assembled rolled their eyes, knowing that a speech was going to follow, and they all shifted uncomfortably in the cold. "General Burkhalter has scheduled an inspection in the next few days and it is my duty as Kommandant of the strictest POW camp in all of Germany to see that our record of no escapes is maintained and the strictest security is up-held." Klink paced in front of the prisoners, waving his finger in fervor. "Now, it is your duty as prisoners of the Third Reich to keep yourself presentable and to throw away these silly thoughts of escape, and remember no one has ever escaped from Stalag 13!" Klink finished excitedly, waving his monocle at the men and propping himself up on his tip-toes.
Hogan rolled his eyes, if it wasn't for his strict orders of no escapes the only people left in the camp would be the guards –and even they sometimes escaped themselves!
"Schultz!" Klink continued turning to Schultz.
"Jawohl, Herr Kommandant?" Schultz replied, standing more to attention sticking his large stomach out even further.
"I want you to double the guard and order patrols into the woods around camp," Klink ordered. Hogan looked up with a slight frown on his face when he heard Klink's orders, knowing that a doubled guard and patrols outside the fence would prevent them from using their emergency tunnel into the woods beyond the wire. From the corner of his eye he caught Newkirk glancing at him with a concerned look on his face and he didn't need to look around to know that all of his men had the same expression. Hogan now began to doubt they would be able to get out to complete their mission.
If Burkhalter doesn't show up before tomorrow, which is likely, the guards will still be patrolling outside the tunnel and it will be too late to stop the convoy. Hogan was annoyed at Klink's bad timing to start acting like a real prison camp Kommandant.
"Jawohl, Herr Kommandant!" Schultz replied, again saluting.
"And when can we be expecting the lovable General, sir?" Hogan asked casually, already scheming of ways to get past the patrols and extra guards.
"I don't know, it is a surprise inspection," Klink replied as though the answer was obvious, "Diiiiiiiiiiiiiismissed!" Klink dismissed the men before retreating back into the warmth of his office.
Before Hogan had a chance to turn to head back into the barracks, his men were gathered around him full of questions.
"Hold it, hold it!" Hogan interrupted their outbursts, "Wait until we get inside, we already have enough problems as it is without one of the Krauts over- hearing us." With that the five of them headed back to the barracks to discuss the problem at hand.
Hogan entered the barracks first, and tossed his crush cap onto the table in annoyance.
"Well, that's great! That is just great!" Hogan said sarcastically in annoyance as he rested one leg on the bench around the table.
"Boy, trust Klink to pick this time to show off to the Brass," Carter shared his thoughts about the current situation as he slumped himself down on the bench disheartened.
"'Ow are we gonna get past those extra guards now, Colonel?" Newkirk was hoping that the Colonel had another brilliant scheme that would get rid of the guards.
"With difficulty," Hogan replied, his mind still trying to think of a way to get rid of the guards.
"Well, they have to be gone by tomorrow night, Colonel, 'cause that's when the convoy's on route," Kinch unnecessarily reminded them all.
"I know, I know," Hogan replied, "I'll be in my office if anyone else has any ideas." Hogan walked to his office and shut the door behind him.
"Well, gents," Newkirk began, turning to the others, "any brilliant ideas?"
"Well, we could convince Klink to come into the barracks, then we take him hostage and force the guards at the front gate to…" Carter began to scheme.
"Oh never mind!" Newkirk cut him off irritated and pushed Carter's cap down over his eyes.
Just then, Colonel Hogan's office door opened and Hogan stepped out, walking to the table to where his crush cap was and placed it on his head as he headed for the door.
"Got a plan, Colonel?" Kinch asked as he watched Hogan zip up his jacket and flip up the collar.
"I hope so," he replied as he opened the door, "Otherwise Klink just made Kommandant of the year!" Hogan crossed the yard of the compound quickly and soon found himself in Klink's outer office.
"Hey, Hilda," Hogan greeted Klink's beautiful secretary.
"Colonel Hogan!" Hilda smiled in greeting; she found the American Colonel's presence a nice surprise and wondered if his visit was social or business.
"Is the Iron Eagle in?" Hogan asked referring to Klink's piloting nickname.
"Jawohl," Hilda replied, slightly disappointed that it was a business call.
"Thanks," Hogan said, leaning forward and kissing her on the forehead in thanks. Hilda smiled, somewhat appeased, and Hogan entered Klink's office, as usual, without knocking.
"And I want the guards at the gate to be given orders to shoot on sight! No one escapes from Stalag 13!" Klink reminded whoever was on the other end of the phone before hanging up. "Colonel Hogan, what can I do for you? More complaints perhaps?" Klink asked drolly, as though already tired of the conversation.
"Not at all sir," Hogan replied brightly, "As a matter of fact I came here to congratulate you!" Hogan surprised Klink.
"You did?" Klink asked confused, "For what?"
"For posting the extra guards, sir! Brilliant move, brilliant!"
"Why thank you, Colonel Hogan," Klink smiled, enjoying the ego boost. "You see, Colonel, I like to keep a tight camp; that is how I came to be the best Kommandant in all of Germany!"
"Yes, and I just hope for your sake that General Burkhalter is right, I mean it didn't really work for the other Stalags," Hogan continued more to himself than to Klink, "Well, I suppose fourth time's the charm!" Hogan finished, heading towards the door to leave, fully expecting Klink to call him back.
"Just a minute, Colonel!" Klink called getting to his feet, just as Hogan expected, "What do you mean 'If General Burkhalter's right'? What other Stalag's?" Klink was now worried.
"Oh well, I just heard that Burkhalter told three other Stalag's the same story about coming for an inspection; Stalag's 4, 8 and 18," Hogan answered.
"Yes, yes?" Klink urged him to continue, coming out from behind his desk, "And what happened?"
"They did exactly what you did!" Hogan explained, "They doubled the guards and increased the patrols, except Burkhalter never showed! It was just a rouse to get them to beef up security!"
"So, what's wrong with that?" Klink demanded.
"Well, all those guards who were working overtime started to get annoyed because they were missing out on leaves, and we all know what happens then," Hogan continued to lead Klink on.
"No, what? What happened?"
"They deserted!" Hogan explained. "As soon as they weren't getting enough leaves or breaks they just left! And with fewer guards left to guard the prisoners…"
Klink took a quick, paranoid breath, "Escapes!"
"Mmhmm!" Hogan confirmed with a nod, "Six from Stalag 4, nine from Stalag 18 and eleven from Stalag 8! Oh well, I 'spose it's not General Burkhalter's concern, after all it's not his record of no escapes he's ruining!"
Klink gasped at the thought of a ruined record and hurriedly picked up the phone, "This is Kommandant Klink, I want you to cancel my last orders! Return to regular camp security!"
Hogan smiled at his work and offered a casual salute to Klink's turned back before leaving the office. Klink hung up the phone and turned around to see that Hogan had already left and sighed in relief believing that he had avoided disaster.
oOo
"Too easy!" Hogan relayed the good news to him men, who were all seated at the table, with a smile as he re-entered the barracks, "Old Blood and Guts has returned to normal camp security!" This news was met with smiles all round.
"How'd you do it Colonel?" Kinch asked with a smile.
"The usual," Hogan explained, "scared him with the thought of a ruined record."
"Right, 'cause no one escapes from Stalag 13," LeBeau rolled his eyes at Klink's ignorance.
"It's the only camp where there are more escapes in than there are out!" Carter joked and everyone smiled.
"I knew you'd come up with something, sir!" Newkirk congratulated.
"I aim to please!" Hogan accepted the compliment with a smile.
"What are the plans for tomorrow night, Colonel?" Kinch asked, wanting to get back to the conversation they were having before roll call.
"Right," Hogan began, switching back into operation mode, "we'll need to split into two groups. One will use the regular detonator to destroy the smaller bridge, while the other group will plant the charges and detonator on the Hammelburg Bridge. Now, Baby Bear says that the convoy will be at the bridge at about 03:20 hours which means the detonator should be set for about 03:15 hours so only a truck from the convoy will detonate it."
"What are the teams, Colonel?" Carter asked.
"You and Newkirk will take the smaller bridge while Kinch, LeBeau and I will take the Hammelburg Bridge," Hogan answered.
"Are you sure that's the best choice of teams, Colonel?" LeBeau asked, "We all know what happened the last time Laurel and Hardy worked together,"
LeBeau referred to the time Newkirk and Carter had forgotten to set the timer, and earned himself hostile looks from both Carter and Newkirk.
Hogan conceded his point; "All right then, I'll join Laurel and Hardy's team, will you and Kinch be able to handle planting the detonator on your own?"
"Oui Colonel," LeBeau replied, "Carter showed me how to plant it last time we used it."
"Ok, good. We'll leave camp at around zero hundred hours. Any questions?" Hogan concluded. No one had any. "All right, Carter, get to putting that detonator together and collecting the explosives."
"You got it boy!" Carter jumped to his feet excitedly, ready to get started, "Uh, Colonel."
TBC
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How'd I go? Please review and let me know (no flames please)! Much appreciated! :) Until next time…