150th cycle, 5th turn, 10 minutes.
Mission failed. I return to my ship. Visibly untouched. I can't even remember if Lotus scolded me for it.
Did she ever? I don't know, I rarely listen. From the moment a mission starts, I know what to do.
All I listen for is the command to kill everything on the ship.
Ordis asks what has me shook up. My silence of usual was paired with slow and sluggish movement.
A quick scan of his checked my vitals, but nothing came up. I and my Warframe were in perfect condition.
This side we do not show often, hide meticulously from everyone, even our closest allies.
Emotions. They can ruin us. Weaken us more gravely than any poison or mind control attachment can.
And yet… I was struck.
A mission as any other. A Grineer ship, on it's way to a colonization. I had dealt with platoons of their skill.
It was going to be easy. So for my own enjoyment, I brought a melee weapon which allowed me to get up close and personal.
Enhance my hands and feet. My blades were to be preserved this time.
The mission started simple. In no time had I escaped the vents and found my way inside.
I wanted to remain silent throughout. Throwing knives, made so strong that it pinned its victims on the walls.
It bored me. I wanted more, so I got up close. One marine had his back to me, and a few of his friends were up ahead.
Silent as I was, I was right behind him. His bulky armor looked so unwieldy.
Why would they ever sacrifice all of their flexibility for armor that could barely save their life any better when it came down to it.
I grabbed hold, and wrapped my arms around his neck.
The way to do it. Break his neck, instantly. But I wanted to savor this.
I could hear the marine's heart pounding. I was surprised they still had one, through all their cloning.
Figured they had a machine in there by now. What do I know.
He could barely speak. Not with my arms around his neck. His lungs almost shut off.
I could hear him mutter "No…" in the most whiney tone I ever heard a Grineer talk.
My shield flickers briefly around my arm. Something is touching it. I found it to be the tears of the marine.
He is but a clone. He shouldn't be worthy of life. But as my translator continues, I hear him beg for mercy.
"I don't want to die." I understand from him.
His friends are watching. Aiming at me. Hiding behind cover, their guns trained on me.
I zoom in, their aim is horrible. Shaking. He couldn't hit me even if he tried.
Would probably end up shooting his friend. He knows this. But he is also afraid.
His uncovered face gives this away. He knows that I could take a full barrage of their gunfire and not whince.
"Hek never gives us a choice. We are to be obedient, or to be discarded." the Grineer in my arms says.
His heart's still pounding. Fear is the only thing running through him.
In my continued campaign to fight back all the enemies, I had stopped considering the individual.
My slaughtering of hundreds, thousands, millions… It made me forget. It took away their face.
They had become animals to me, creatures not worthy of respect or pity.
I take a moment, to consider.
I drop the marine on the ground. His heart's yet still pounding. I am now free to be shot at.
Even if it would be in vain. But they don't. They slightly lower their gun, and look at me.
They don't know what to do. Neither do I. I tell Shade to hide me, and I disappear.
It was difficult, without Lotus' help, but I managed to change the course of the ship.
A voice in my head continuously asked questions. But I was not listening.
I needed time, to think. But the colonists shouldn't die over my hesitation. I succeed my hack, and leave the spacecraft.
My mind is in shatters. Is this what we have become? Slaughterers of masses?
Do we take joy in throwing them around the room, setting them on fire or forcing them to turn on each other?
I don't know what to think. I start to piece it together. Start to realize who are the real monsters.
Their leaders, and us. We are the monsters. As we are the terrors in the night, their leaders the tyrants that order them to push back, in vain.
I know our strength. Every day we grow exponentially, while they struggle to keep their ships and bases stocked.
The Grineer… They are children. Acting in anger as the last resort they have.
For every base slaughtered, a Grineer marine grows frustrated and seeks out our destruction. Grows into a leader.
I sympathize with the Grineer. And even as I continue to slaughter the many of them, my heart will bleed ever so slightly more for it.
It is their leaders that must die. The ones that force them in this position. Vay Heck, Vor… They care not for their own.
Only their agenda. No better than that greedy fool Alad V.
It is they I will kill. And if that means I will risk the scorn of those who hunt me, so be it…
But I will find a way. The Grineer deserve our pity, a chance to be goaded in a direction away from destruction.
Maybe I can believe again. Believe in something bigger than war.
Maybe one day, the Tenno will again no longer be needed, allowed to return to slumber.
We'll see. All I can do is try, now.