A/N. Hey. I'm Dark Angel of Fire Ice, and this is my first ever fic. So, you know the drill, constructive critisizim is welcome, but flames will be used to warm me up, 'cuz it's freezing where I live right now. I hope you like the fic. Please review, it only takes a little while. I would really appriciate all reviews, except flames of course, and I thank you for them in advance.

DEDICATION: This fic is dedicated to Darks Light, who is not only a brilliant writer, she is also a great friend. I wouldn't have had the courage to post this without her. So, this fic is dedicated to her.

Disclaimer: I do not own Furuba, or Fruits Basket as it is often know. I own none of the characters of Furuba. I certainly don't own the money Furuba has made. So, don't sue me. I don't own any of it.

Warnings: This fic contains Angst, shonen ai, and is all in all a little dark. If any of that upsets you, that is what the little back button at the top left of your screen is for.

Blank eyes, dried tears

He stared blankly at the ceiling, violet eyes empty and unblinking, tears slowly trickling down his face, small rivers of crystalized despair. The pain.. his mind was in chaos, his soul was torn to shreds, his heart was ashes. Why did it have to be this way. Why why why why WHY? He sobbed brokenly once more, chest heaving painfully. He hated his life, he hated his family, he hated the people around him, but most of all he hated himself. He was so pathetic, so useless. He had tried to act tough, he was cold and distant, shielding himself, removing himself from the world that hurt him so much. He had built up inner walls, barriers to keep the pain away. And then HE came along, and he felt the walls slowly shattering. He had to act like he hated him, had to keep up the mask he had built. Every insult tore straight through his defenses and ripped his soul slowly apart from the inside. Every attempted blow hurt more than he could bear, even if they never physically connected with his flesh. The hatred in the red eyes that glared every time he saw them... he never got over the hate he saw in those eyes again and again. It was killing him. He had to act cruel to the only person in this forsaken place that managed to get through his walls and make him love him without even trying. Memories flashed through his head...

A small boy with flaming orange hair stood before him, yelling at him hatefully.

The same boy, slightly older, launched himself at the violet-eyed youth, fists flying towards him.

The boy, a teenager now, fists clenched, yelling hatefully at him, orange hair swirling in the wind, beautiful red eyes narrowed with anger.

He let out another broken sob. Why did the boy have to hate him? He had never done anything to the beautiful red-eyed neko. He cursed being part of the Sohma family violently. If it weren't for the curse, his life wouldn't be so damn screwed up. The second he had seen the orange-haired boy, he had been assaulted by so many emotions, all of them wonderful. He had never felt this way about someone, he had often deliberatly made it that was so that the person these feelings were directed at wouldn't turn around and hurt him again. Yet, somehow he couldn't stop the flow of warmth, affection, longing, and so many other things. The boy had turned and caught sight of the grey-haired nezumi standing quietly under a tree. The nekos' fists had clenched, and he started angrily accusing him of being the reason he was an outcast, the reason for everyone hating him, that it was all the nezumis' faul. The violet-eyed boy had been shocked, then he realised that the gorgeous boy infront of him was none other than the cat of the zodiac. He wanted to protest, to say that he liked the neko, make him like him in return. However, he knew what would happen if he did. He had had it beaten into him that the neko was the enemy, that they were destined to be sworn adversaries. So, he had returned scornful words, disgust-fillled glares, his fragile young heart being mutilated and shredded with every word. Years later, it hadn't changed. The neko hated him with a passion. Ever since then, he had slowly been dying inside. The hatred of the one he couldn't help but love massacared his spirit, and it had broken him long ago. Yet somehow he only found himself loving the neko even more. His passion for fighting, his determination, his adorable social clumsiness and charm, his love of high places, and the fire always burning in those crimson eyes. Always those blood red eyes...

He hated the zodiac. If it weren't for the curse, he could be with the neko. If it weren't for the zodiac, he could be free, and with the one he loved. Life was cruel, and it has a penchant for kicking you when your down. He wanted to bleed, to see the crimson of his life flowing away, taking the pain with it. Blood... his eyes...

He couldn't do it though. He couldn't pick up the gleaming silver means for relief from the desk and press it into his own flesh, feel the biting pain, feel it all draining away. He was scared to. He was scared of people finding out, and being punished.

He hated himself. He may be strong physically, but he was so weak in every other way. He felt hollow, except for a bitter misery and unimaginable pain that was his constant companion. He had been hollow for so long... he wanted nothing more than the orange haired neko to hold him, take away the pain, take away the emptiness, make him feel safe and happy. Yet it could never be. Never. The tears stopped flowing, drying up. He couldn't cry anymore. He had been crying for years it seemed, and he still cried on the inside. He always cried on the inside, even after the physical drops of salty liquid had refused to keep pouring from his eyes. He sat up, eyes still staring blankly ahead, not really seeing anything. He heard Tohru-kun calling him, saying that dinner was ready. He wiped the drying tears from his face, and put his prince charming mask back on. He always felt so wrong, slipping up the mask. It felt like it was slamming a door shut, locking the tattered remains of his sould in a small dark room. He fixed a small, polite smile on his face, and walked out of his room.

He was doomed to pain and loneliness, always. Such is the curse of Yuki Sohma, the rat of the zodiac.

-TBC-