Chapter 1: Miranda says yes…

Dr. Miranda Bailey left the lecture hall of Seattle Grace moved to tears. No matter who Shepherd thought he was, the Chief was always going to be Dr. Richard Weber. Sure she agreed that Derek should go to the board, but his run as Chief of surgery so far had been lacklustre at best. Watching the real Chief on stage, she felt that familiar pride she hadn't felt for him in a long time. Standing there, taking his Hippocratic Oath once again, she knew he was recommitting himself to the medicine and trying with all he had to leave the alcohol behind.

The man, she so admired was like the father she wished she had. Immediately, she felt guilty for the thought. She loved her father, sure, but he didn't understand her. Most times they left things amicable between each other, politely (most times) agreeing to disagree. She needed surgery, it was her passion. Second only to her son (who would have thought you could love something or someone so much?) surgery was the love of her life. Sure Tucker was a good husband, and she had loved him, but he never understood, never fully understood her need to be at that hospital, her need to be able to perform surgeries and save lives. It was her calling, it was her passion, and it was her dream. Tucker knew these things, but he never fully understood it.

Thinking back, she figured it all went wrong when he quit his job to be a stay at home dad. She tried to convince him otherwise, tried to tell him that he wasn't the type who would be happy doing it, but he just made a smart ass comment.

"Well, someone has to put our child first." To this very day, it still hurt her to think about that statement. Was it true? In her mind she knew it wasn't, but her heart, well that was a different story.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't see Dr. Ben Warren until she was literally plastered to his back. Ben swung around in time to catch her before she lost her balance and tripped. Startled into silence and more than a little embarrassed Miranda looked up to see who she bumped into and mentally groaned. Great.

"Hey there Dr. Bailey!" He was smiling, no, not really, he was smirking. That's when she realized her hands had instinctively grabbed onto his biceps and were still there. Snatching them away, she cleared her throat.

"Uh, hello Dr. Warren, I'm sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going." Would she always sound like an idiot around this man?

"No problem, it's not everyday a beautiful woman literally falls into my arms." He bends his six foot frame down to whisper in her ear "Especially one that I've been fantasizing about. When are you going to let me take you out? This is our first night off at the same time since you agreed to go out with me."

He's so close that his breath tickles her ear. Miranda starts feeling tugs and pulls everywhere and despite herself, she smiles.

"Can't you ever be serious? Must be all that gas you work with everyday." Feeling sassy again, she starts to saunter off, but he lightly grabs her forearm.

"Miranda, I'm serious, I want to take you out. Look, I find you attractive, I like you and you said…" She starts to struggle a little, embarrassed he would bring up her outburst from Valentine's Day, "you said that you liked me too. Now all of a sudden, you're dodging me. I mean, if you changed your mind or something, just tell me and I'll back off. I'm not saying I won't be disappointed but I don't want to push myself on you if you're not interested." He waits for what seems like an eternity and slowly releases her arm. Disappointment laced with confusion etches his face.

Miranda glances around, the empty hallway, everyone having gone back to work. This was her day off and it apparently it was his too. Deciding to take a chance and be brave when it comes to her personal life, she begins to speak but he cuts her off, misreading her silence for rejection.

"I'm sorry I never got to show you how good I think we could be together. I'll leave you alone now Dr. Bailey."

Shocked, Miranda stands there frozen. What the hell had she just done? This handsome eligible man had just asked her out, called her beautiful and said he fantasized about her. Why the hell was she so afraid to give it a try?

"I'll go." Turning, he stops and just stares are her.

"What did you say?"

"I said, I'll go. I just need to run up to my locker and get my things. I… I'll meet you out front, by the benches. Just give me ten minutes." Already jogging away, she takes the stairs up to the surgical floor leaving Ben wondering more and more about this intriguing woman.

……………………………………..

They have dinner and talk about work. It's not the kind of conversation she could have had with Tucker. With Ben, she doesn't have to explain the demands of the job; he understands and shares it mostly. They talk about growing up and what prompted them to choose medicine. She teases him about being a "gas man" and he calls her a "cutter." She tells Ben all about little Tuck, neatly sidestepping any details about her failed marriage. Ben waits for her to open up, but she never does. He decides in his mind to give her time reminding himself it's only their first date.

They talk over dinner, dessert and coffee. Having run out of time, they finally decide to leave the restaurant. Walking together to her front door, he takes her keys from her and unlocks the door, then hands them back. It's a very old fashioned gesture, but one she appreciates. Standing there, looking up at him, she realizes she made the right decision saying yes. They walk inside her foyer and he stands there, waiting for an invitation to sit down or join her for a "night cap."

"Miranda, I had a great time tonight." He wants to say more. He wants to know if she feels it too; this pull that draws him to her. He wants to know if she's still in love with her ex-husband. He wants to know if she tastes as good as she looks to him. He reminds himself for the second time that evening not to rush that it's just the first date.

"Me too. I guess you're not just a pretty face after all. I guess you might have some brains up there." He cocks one eyebrow and smiles. Happy she's starting to feel comfortable enough to rib him again. He looks at her then; hoping for a sign that it's okay to kiss her. She looks at him, wetting her lips ever so slightly and he takes that as his cue. Bending his neck down and pulling her closer, he gives her a gentle kiss on the lips. He usually likes to take it slow with a woman working his way up to that first touch, that first hug, that first kiss. He's never usually so forward and well, touchy. But with Miranda Bailey, he finds all he wants to do is touch her, imagining her in his arms just wasn't enough, he had to try her out, see if the anticipation lived up to the reality, and it did. When he pulls her to him, the fit, is… right. She's shorter than him by almost a foot, so he has to look down and tip her face up to him.

She puts her hands up on his chest and he pulls her even closer. He kisses her neck, "Miranda, you're so beautiful," her shoulder, "so lovely," behind her ear, "so sexy." Miranda starts to pull away. Sensing her resistance, he stops immediately.

"I.. I can't do this. I think you should leave."

"What? Miranda? Do what? We had a nice date, I thought you were feeling this too… we had a nice time…"

"I'm not some young foolish little … whatever… falling for some lines. I mean, why do you have to say those things?"

Confused Ben cocks his head to the side. "I don't understand…" Raising her voice now she continues to rant.

"Don't be feeding me lines that you've probably used on fifty other women, Cassanova!"

Upset now Ben starts for the door. "You know what lady, you got some serious issues. For your information, I've only had three girlfriends my entire life. If that qualifies me as a Cassonava, then I've been sadly misinformed. I don't play the field, I don't use lines and I damn sure don't waste my time dating women I don't find attractive and think there is a real chance at a life with. I'm a basic man Miranda, I love my job, a good meal, and a good game on tv; anything will do. I like to read at night before I go to bed, I go to church on Sundays and talk to my parents almost every other day on the phone. I've been looking for that someone special for what seems my whole adult life. I'm pretty transparent, if you had just taken the time to see me, actually see me. I don't know if you're still hurting over your divorce, or what other issues you've got, but I think I've just decided that I don't want to be a part of it… I had hoped… " He pauses, hurt etched across his face, hurt and regret, "well, it doesn't matter now. I'll say goodnight and leave you to the rest of your evening." Turning the knob on her front door, he stops when he hears her voice come out in almost a whisper. The pain is so evident in it, he finds it impossible to ignore. Back still to her, he waits to see what she could possibly have to say.

"Wait." Clearing her throat, she raises her voice and says it again. "Wait! I… I'm sorry. I don't know how to do this Ben, it's been so long. You're handsome and I find you attractive too. I shouldn't have made assumptions about you, I'm sorry." He turns to look at her as she rushes on. "I guess… I was a little taken aback by how forward you were, not in a bad way, it's just…. I'm not used to compliments, well, about surgery, sure, but not in regards to my appearance and I'm having a hard time believing you want…that you find me…" pausing he can see she's searching for the right thing to say, "…attractive." She finishes lamely.

Ben strides over to her in two steps, taking her in his arms, it's bold, sure, but this woman, this little dynamo, she's got hooks in him that he doesn't' understand. Conflicted because he knows now that she clearly has some issues, he decides to give her another chance anyway.

"You're beautiful. I thought so from the moment I first saw you. And that mouth of yours? Jesus that mouth; barking orders, so sure, so confident; it's sexy. I find you attractive; I want to explore these feelings. I want to know why my mind and my body seem so drawn to you. I want to get to know you Miranda, really know you. Will you let me?"

In awe of him, she simply nods. He beams at her, and pulls her so close, she damn near pops out the other side of him. Intending to just sample her, he bends his neck down and pulls her chin up. He lightly brushes her lips with his and he's sunk. Someone moans deep in their throat, and her arms come up around his neck and she deepens the kiss. Her hands run to the nape of his neck, as his roam down grabbing her butt and hoisting her up. He spins her around to the wall, pushing her against it. The kiss starts getting out of control, turning into more and Miranda starts to panic.

"No… wait…." Immediately Ben slows down, and eases off. Still holding her up, so they are face to face, he burrows his head in the crook of her neck. Miranda closes her eyes and tries to enjoy the moment. Her heart is still racing and her head is still spinning. She can't believe he's holding her up like she weighs 100 pounds.

"Miranda…" Her name comes out of his mouth on a strangled sigh. "Please baby… let's…"

"…call it a night… now, before we do something else. Something I'm not quite ready for yet." She finishes his statement for him, hoping he'll understand. She's Miranda Bailey, Mandy to her family and friends, she's not the kind of woman who makes out in hospital hallways and has quickie sex in surgical on-call rooms. And she is definitely not the type of woman who has sex on the first date. She's a good girl, and well, when it comes to Dr. Ben Warren, she feels just a little bit naughty.

Looking her deep in the eyes, he sees the conflict there. He sees all the passion he is feeling, but also he sees a little fear. It's the fear that has him setting her down on her feet. He runs his hands over her hair and brushes a kiss on her forehead.

"Okay, we'll take this slow. Talk, get to know each other; try to put the horse back behind the cart." Kissing her gently on the tip of her nose, he says, "goodnight Miranda. I'll see you in the morning," and walks out he door.

"Goodnight," she whispers to herself. Allowing herself one moment of foolishness, she twirls around in a circle giggling like a little girl in a candy shop.