Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds.
Note: Written for Essenceofthedark on Y!gallery because she was the one that came up with the wonderful idea of making this an episode.
Enjoy!
If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us.
Hermann Hesse
"He's here," Spencer Reid's voice is hushed when he speaks, his eyes dart from the entry of the bar back to watch his partner for this case.
Derek Morgan doesn't look to the door when the genius in front of him speaks, trusting Reid's judgement without even so much as a little doubt. He reaches out the hand that isn't holding a cold beer and lays it gently atop Spencer's pale one, his thumb rubbing small circles across the skin. "You needn't look at anyone but me tonight, babe."
Reid blinks and almost shoots through the roof, not used to being touched in such a fashion. He rebukes himself for being such an idiot when it comes to knowing what to do when in an actual relationship. Because the knowledge he got from books about the subject, he learned fairly quickly, was not to be used in real life.
But, as always, he catches himself quickly and as if they had actually been together the years they pretend to be he smiles a shy yet gentle smile at his 'boyfriend' and chides: "No fair, Dave."
Morgan's deep chuckle sends unexpected shivers down his back and although he masks it completely, Reid is a little shocked at that.
But he writes it off on the current situation and his tense body. For posing as a gay couple to catch a serial-killer that had so far murdered thirty-three gay men was something that caused Spencer to be slightly nervous and anxious.
They had flown in two days ago to catch the man that had been killing homosexuals the past seventeen years. Quick and ruthless as always they were fast to find out they were dealing with a 45 year old male that went by the name Michael Craft.
Your average guy with slightly tanned skin and untamed brown hair but with an abnormally big Homophobia that his own father had caused by taking a male lover after Michael's mother's death.
His father's lover, Nathan, was the first man Michael had ever killed and that accidental push down the stairs had ensured something inside the man had snapped but lay hidden for years an end.
His father's homosexuality had been hard on the boy, then 10 years old, due to his love for his mother and his faith in God. His father's murder because he was actually a homo had been devastating and when Nathan then confronted him he had thrown his father's lover down the stairs in a rage of anger and sadness.
Eight years later Michael's best friend confessed his feelings of love to the man and something snapped that could never be fixed again. His best friend was his first real murder and every year on his father's death-anniversary a gay-couple was killed by Michael Craft's hands.
The fact he moved every few years ensured he wasn't caught but he had now made the mistake of killing four times in the same town.
Thus the BAU was called in, a profile was made and based on said profile a plan was created to catch the guy before more deaths occurred.
Michael's father's death-anniversary was coming up and on that day Morgan and Reid were to pose as a couple who had been together for years, going out for a drink to bait the guy.
Preparation had been awkward and even though Morgan was pretty good at faking and being touchy-feely, Reid was his normal shy and jumpy self. The only thing he had to hide was his genius mind and he was having a very hard time not sprouting random facts and figures.
So far, things were going smoothly. All they had to do was attract the unsub's attention, leave the bar and arrest him when he would try to strike. This man had to be caught red-handed and Morgan and Reid were going to make sure that happened.
"After all these years you're still so shy." Morgan teases, his eyes casually scanning the room afterwards to see if their unsub has noticed them.
So far, the man had sat down by the bar and is impatiently waiting for his drink. He hasn't noticed the two FBI agents at all.
Reid notices the disappointment that flashes through the dark man's eyes and he is quick to catch on.
They need to do something to draw the man's attention, because no matter how nice this time alone with Derek is –
With a blink Reid stops all thoughts running through his brain and he looks up at Morgan through lowered lashes. His time alone with Derek is nice?
He wonders what has gotten to him and decides it is merely the situation they're in that is affecting him. He has never truly dated after all and sitting this close to Morgan, flirting with him and talking to each other as a couple would is clouding his normally logical mind.
And suddenly Morgan leans closer to Reid, his hold on Reid's hand tightens a bit and he smirks almost sensually.
For a second Reid wonders if this is the smirk he uses to catches the ladies with. Because for as far as he knows, Morgan is quite experienced in that area. The tug at his heart at that thought is forgotten when Derek's other hand gently strokes his cheek.
Reid shivers, nervous butterflies coursing through his body because of the new touch and he can't help but lean into that warm, comforting hand.
And he reminds himself that this is Morgan and this is the mission. They need to catch the udusnsub.
Morgan's chuckle sends a new set of shivers down his back and the man's breath ghosts over his pink lips when he speaks on a husky tone. "It's sexy."
Reid's mind is on overdrive. It is only a mission, he is just doing his job but he is freaking out. Derek is coming closer and closer and he closes his eyes in both slight fear and anticipation.
1 Hydrogen
He starts, taking a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself down and failing miserably.
2 Helium
3 Lithium
4 Beryl–
"Stop reciting the Periodic Table in your head and kiss me, Kevin." The words are soft, whispered and Morgan stays perfectly in character.
Reid blinks again, kicks down the urge to tell Morgan something about the Periodic Table the man probably isn't interested in and awaits what he knows is coming with nervousness and a strange sense of longing he has never known before.
When Morgan's lips descend upon his Reid tries his very best not to freeze and act as if this is something they have done a million times.
But he hasn't and he is kind of new to this and he does freeze and is ready to pull away from that hot mouth that is confusing him.
But suddenly Morgan's hand is at the back of his head, keeping him in place and before he knows it their lips are moving together and he reaches up a hand to grasp Derek's arm, because it feels unexpectedly good.
And he realizes that this feeling that is now coursing through him comes close to what he knows chemically must be love. And he finds himself wishing that if only it wasn't Derek kissing him for the sake of catching the bad guy.
Because realisation about feelings has always been slow to seep in with him but now it is as clear as day. Now he understands why he feels he knows Morgan, feels that he can tell the man everything and would give his life to safe him without a doubt.
And he is kissing that man now, kissing the man he loves but after this one kiss he will only long for more. Because Derek is straight, this is not their date.
This is Dave's and Kevin's date and they're trying to catch a serial-killer that murdered so many people and –
Morgan pulls away and the smouldering eyes almost consume Reid, silencing his thoughts for what seems to be the first time in his life.
Derek's thumb brushes his cheek, moves slowly down his skin until it teases his slightly parted lips. And it sends tremor after tremor of happiness and a staggering lust down Reid's body and if it weren't for the fact Morgan speaks he would be reciting the Periodic Table all over again.
"I love you, baby." Morgan's voice is pure huskiness and soft and Reid will describe it as sinful later.
The genius swallows and nods mutely and with a somewhat shaky smile replies: "Love you too, Dave."
He knows that if he stands up now his knees will be wobbly for his brain is like mashed potatoes right now.
This pretending is coming a bit too close to home and after his revelation after that kiss he is sure this entire case will only go downhill like a car on a slope without the hand-brake on.
With a blink he focuses his confused brain again and smiles gently at his supposed boyfriend when he takes a sip of his beer.
Reid allows his eyes to travel across the cafe, searching for their unsub and hoping that this case will soon be closed.
He locks eyes with dark, cold ones and a chilled shiver runs down his back, settling uncomfortably in his gut. They have been noticed and even though it was the goal of the mission he feels terribly uneasy about it.
"Hey, babe?" Morgan calls out gently when he notices the shiver coursing through Reid's body. Time to get this over with.
Reid's eyes turn to watch Morgan immediately, relief flooding through him when he breaks the cold stare with their unsub and he smiles shyly at his 'boyfriend' again. "Yes?"
Morgan licks his lips, brushes his thumb across Spencer's cheek one last time and murmurs: "Let's get out of here."
Reid nods, he can't help but agree more that that is exactly what he wishes for. Because he is still stuck in the cloud of make-believe and he knows he has to get out of it, fast, before it means getting hurt by the hands of an unsub yet again.
He takes his beer from the table and uncharacteristically downs it in one big gulp. The bad after-taste of beer and rush of alcohol are enough to calm him down and get him back on the ground with both his feet again.
And when Morgan grabs his hand, places another one against the small of his back and guides him out of the bar he can't help but wish this was real.
And then they open the door and walk outside the cold evening air is a rough wall he walks into.
Morgan's still gently holding him as they make their way to the car, the cold air whispering over them and teasing Reid's curls that brush against Derek's dark skin.
Behind them Reid can hear the doors of the cafe opening and closing again and the takes a deep, nervous breath.
Everything will go well, they are surrounded by their teammates and local police after all and they are ready to shoot this man in an instant.
"Something you want?" Morgan asks coldly and turns around to face Michael, his arm hugging Reid close.
"You filth." The man spats, disgusted. "You don't deserve to be alive."
"Because we destroyed your family, did we not?" Reid asks softly, watching the man with slightly hooded eyes, nerves shooting through his body.
"You bastards, you fucking gays took my father away. You will pay!" Michael hisses through clenched teeth.
And before they know it he has drawn a gun, pointing it straight at them, straight at Morgan.
Reid sucks in a breath, clings to his friend and then the parking lot is filled with running footsteps and shouting voices, Hotch his voice overpowering them all:
"FBI, get down on the ground. Down!"
A shot rings through the air, time seems to move slower than it ever has and without thinking Reid pushes Morgan away from him.
The man calls out, shocked, when Reid cries out in pain and falls down to the ground. He shivers from falling down onto the cold ground, from the feeling of being shot and blood flowing from his body.
He moans in pain when Morgan sits next to him and pulls Reid into his strong, muscled arms. Pressing the genius' head against his chest and worriedly muttering that things will be fine.
Michael is on the ground within a second, his head smashed against the pavement and Hotchner is calling out, asking if Reid is all right.
Suddenly the unsub's eyes widen and he looks at Reid as if he sees the man for the first time. "He – he's not gay?" He utters. Tears come to his eyes as he realizes he shot a normal man, a man of God.
Slowly, drowsily and painfully Reid turns his head when the man's words register. His lips are set in a thin line, his eyes are almost closed and his skin looks ghostly pale. "N-no, I am." He utters.
He feels Morgan's arms tighten around him, the man gasping in surprise.
Michael laughs cruelly and his words that tell Reid this is a good riddance are the last thing he hears before everything turns black before his eyes.
"So, spill."
Penelope Garcia is sitting in an uncomfortable hospital-chair, facing Spencer who is fumbling nervously with his ugly, white hospital-gown and whose gaze is directed at the wall, stubbornly refusing to look at the woman.
"There is nothing –" He starts, shaking his head but he is interrupted.
"You are gay." Garcia accuses, although her tone holds a fondness that shows Reid he should not be afraid to lose her friendship.
He doesn't say a thing. He knows she understands.
Ever since he decided to take her up on her invitation to go for a drink to wind down a bit they hit off and by now they're good friends. He knows he's hurt her by not confiding in her, by keeping his sexual preference a secret.
But it is hard to tell your friends that you're even more different then everybody already thinks you are. And he was happy with the way things were. Because his co-workers are as good as family to him and he would do anything to keep it that way.
A small voice tells him that it is not what he wishes for with Morgan and a frown settles on his face.
He is still quite shocked about the cruel revelation of his feelings during the case three days ago.
"Oh Reid, I don't mind!" Penelope calls out and leans towards the man to take one of his hands in hers, squeezing it reassuringly with a smile. "How long have you known?"
"Well, we are born with our sexual preferences so technically speaking I have known my entire life. It is quite common for the human sub consciousness to –" he pauses when Garcia chuckles and ducks his head with an embarrassed flush. "I've known for six years now."
Penelope blinks and with a frown asks: "And your kiss with Lila?"
"Ah," Reid blushes. "Totally one-sided on her part." He mutters.
Garcia's laughter rings through the air and even Reid can't help the smile that graces his lips.
He still feels a bit guilty towards Lila, even though he had told her he wasn't interested in her afterwards. She had been disappointed but had told him she hoped he would meet someone worthy of his love one day. And he has, only it is a man he can't have outside of his dreams.
While Spencer is lost in thoughts Garcia watches him with a worried expression. She has an inkling of a feeling what is bothering the genius and she feels bad for him. But if it is up to her, if she is right, Spencer will get what he wants.
"Is it Morgan?" She asks quietly, gently nudging Reid into the corner she wants him in.
Spencer freezes and he averts his eyes. Garcia is fond of Morgan, he can't possible tell her that last night he realized he was in love with the man. He can't.
"Dear, it's all right." Penelope coos.
"I –" Reid starts, faltering almost immediately and a sad smile coming to his lips. "I realized last night." He admits. Because he knows he doesn't have to tell Garcia it is Morgan he's talking about. Because he knows she's smiling compassionately. She knows.
Silence takes over the room. Reid in battle with himself, deciding if he wants to talk about things or not and Garcia is wondering if it is all right to ask for more.
Reid's the first to break. He has never talked about his feelings with anyone, not when he found out he was gay and it was hell. It had been a long road finding everything out on his own and having no-one to turn to and this time he decides, is going to be different.
Because this time he has Penelope Garcia next to him who is ready to listen without judging him.
"Don't tell him." He asks, needing that reassurance before telling her anything more.
Because there was something he wanted, needed to know and she was probably the only one who could answer him properly.
"I can't tell him?" Garcia asks, a bit disappointed but when she sees the slightly panicked expression on Reid's face she quickly says: "I won't, dear, I won't." A grin then spreads across her face as she says: "I was merely thinking of getting the two of you together so you can get some hot male loving from my Chocolate God."
A chocking sound escapes Spencer and a blush settles on his cheeks. "Ah... I," he stutters.
But after a few seconds he sighs and shakes his head sadly. He worries his lip and leans his head against the head-board of the bed, staring at the ceiling. "We're not getting together."
"Oh, posh. I'll make sure that you get together with him." Garcia says with a happy grin.
"He hasn't checked up on me. I've been in the hospital for four days and he hasn't come by." Reid explains miserably.
It's the thing that's been bothering him all along. Morgan hasn't visited, hasn't called. It's as if the man vanished or wants nothing to do with Reid anymore.
Not now that he knows his friend is gay. That he actually kissed his gay friend, be it on a mission.
"He's confused, Reid. He –" Garcia starts but Spencer shakes his head and interrupts her.
"Or disgusted." He mutters.
"Now you listen to me." Penelope says sternly and Reid looks at her with slightly widened eyes. "The past few days that hot piece of man has been hanging around my office looking gloomy, confused and he is totally out of it. I don't know what you did to him in that bar but he's got it good for you." She says excitedly, grinning like the Cheshire cat.
Reid huffs at that. "What makes you think I had something to do with that?" He asks, not wanting to get his hopes up while he really shouldn't.
"You pessimist." Garcia scolds and hits him teasingly on the arm.
"How do you know it is me, though? Morgan's a ladies-man." Reid finishes in a whisper, turning away again. He is not used to these sort of situations, not used to feeling this insecure.
A gleeful smile lights up the blonde woman's face and excitedly she says: "He muttered your name while touching his lips when he thought no-one was around." She then smirks and asks: "What did you do to him, eh?"
"N-nothing..." Reid mutters and turns away with a blush. "It was just a case and we had to draw the attention of the unsub."
"So you kissed him?" Garcia presses teasingly.
Reid licks his lips and shakes his head, whispering: "He kissed me."
The squeal that escapes the blonde is totally unexpected and Reid watches her, blinking.
"He likes you, no doubt about it." She states, almost glowing.
Reid shakes his head in disbelief. He doesn't know from what facts Garcia is drawing that conclusion but he doesn't think it is true. How can Morgan like him when the man is not into men?
Penelope picks up on Reid's doubt and proudly says: "I know he's been together with a man once or twice."
"What?" Spencer whispers, almost breathlessly. He stands a chance?
"After, you know..." She pauses and after an almost painful silence whispers: "Hankel."
Reid flinches, the name brings bad memories with it and he can't help the momentary sadness that falls over him.
But when the reality behind those words filters through his mind he gasps and looks up at Garcia with widened eyes.
After Hankel, after his abduction. Does that imply Morgan slept with a man after he almost lost Reid? A gasp leaves his lips, his hands shake slightly and then a happy smile that lights up his eyes touches his lips.
"So, I have a chance." He murmurs.
Garcia laughs. "Yes, Reid. You do." She then places her elbows onto the bed and leans closer to the genius with a smirk. "And if the two of you are together and start doing sexy things I want pictures. Lots of them." She demands.
Reid blushes bright red. "A-ah... if we get together." He defends himself shyly, still insecure.
"Hm, you will. You see, I've got this plan..." Garcia says with a wink.
Reid frowns. "A plan?"
Plastic containers in the colours purple, yellow and orange are lined up on the kitchen-counter. A bottle of Sauvignon, a wonderful white wine to go with sea-food according to Garcia, stands in the fridge cooling to the perfect temperature. A soft, jazzy tune is playing in the background and Penelope even went so far as to light a few candles.
And if Reid were honest, he would say it was tacky, overly romantic and need he remind Garcia he was actually a male?
With a sigh he shakes his head and moves around the room to blow out all the candles. Because he is sure Morgan doesn't want to feel like a woman being romanced as much as he himself doesn't want to feel like a romantic sap.
When all candles are out and the living-room is now basked in the soft-yellow light of a few smaller lamps that adorn the room Reid drops himself onto the couch with a sigh passing his lips.
He tells himself that his nervousness, along with his anxiety, is just a psychological state caused by the current prospect of meeting with Derek in a fashion that is completely new to him.
He isn't even sure Derek will be there because this entire 'date' has been planned by Garcia since he was in the hospital up until this morning. But she assured him, when she had been preparing their dinner, that Morgan would come.
A small smile graces Spencer's lips. He really should buy Garcia something to thank her, even though he would have rather taken care of things himself she has done a good job. Buying the right wine, food that Reid loved and she even cooked it because his right shoulder still hurt from being shot there.
His gaze drifts to the old grand-fathers clock that stands in the corner of the room. Almost seven, Morgan could be here any minute.
Another nervous sigh passes his lips and he pushes himself up again, sauntering to the kitchen.
He takes a wine-glass from one of the kitchen-cabinets and opens de 'fridge, grabbing the bottle of wine with his left hand.
Being able to only use one arm is frustrating and he doesn't like it, certainly since he prefers his right arm over his left. But unfortunately, it is his left he has to work with and now that the bottle of wine stands on the counter he realizes there is no way he can actually open it with just one hand.
Suddenly the sound of his front-door bell rings through his apartment and he leaves the bottle for what it is, making his way to open the door.
He takes a deep breath, hoping to get rid of some of the nerves, and opens the door with a small smile which he knows is shyer then he intends it to be.
He is rendered both speechless and breathless when he sees Derek Morgan standing on his doorstep. He is wearing a tight, black shirt that accents his muscled chest perfectly, his leather jacket looks absolutely gorgeous as if it is hand-made for Morgan to wear and the dark jeans hug his legs and ass in just the right places.
Intentional or not, he looks breathtaking.
"Hi there, Pretty Boy." Morgan says with a smile. But his gaze is immediately drawn to white sling that Reid is wearing stabilize his right arm. Guilt flashes through his dark eyes and softly he inquires: "How's the shoulder doing?"
No matter how happy he is to see Derek, relieved the man actually showed up, the smile that comes to his lips doesn't truly reaches his eyes when he says: "Doing fine. You could've come to the hospital to check if you were worried, though. Been there for five days."
A pained expression flickers across Morgan's face and a small voice in the back of his mind tells Reid that he is trying to win the man for him, not drive him away.
"A-ah, sorry." He mutters and moves aside so Morgan can enter. "Why don't you come in?" He asks and then with a shy smile adds: "I need someone to open that bottle of white I have in the kitchen and you're right for the job."
After blinking at Reid's words Morgan chuckles and enters the genius's apartment. "Sure. You have an idea why Baby Girl wanted me to come by though?" He asks and hangs up his coat on one of the pegs that hang in the hallway.
Spencer freezes, blinking in surprise and waiting for Morgan to say he's joking.
But after a few seconds the hallway is still silent and Derek calls his name softly, inquiring yet again if he is all right.
"Oh yes, fine." Reid says with a half-smile and walks both of them to the kitchen where the bottle of wine is still waiting on the counter.
Derek moves into the kitchen and immediately goes for the bottle, opening it effortlessly. "Must be hard with just one arm to use." He comments. "So," he says, turning to Reid with a smirk and an opened bottle of wine. "Expecting company for the night?" He asks teasingly.
Yes, you. His mind tells Reid. But he can't actually say that. Not now he knows that Derek hasn't got a clue why he's here and what Reid wants to tell him. A disappointed look crosses his face and he sighs. Great, just great. That means no 'thank you' gift for Garcia.
"Yes," he answers truthfully but then fidgets with the end of his shirt. "But I guess I got stood up."
"Ah, that sucks man." Morgan says but Reid notices with a little happiness that the words don't sound sorry at all. In fact, Derek's trying hard not to smile and another shy smile comes to Reid's lips.
"Yeah," he mutters but can't keep the smile off of his face when he offers: "So, have you eaten?"
"I have," Derek answers and pours wine into the glass that stands onto the counter. He then turns around and hands Reid the glass with a smile. "But I'm always in for some home-made food and a glass of wine." He says with a wink.
A small blush settles on Reid's cheeks and he takes a sip of his wine, looking at Morgan over the rim of his glass. He's still disappointed about the fact Garcia didn't tell Morgan this was actually intended to be a date.
But maybe, his mind contributed, it was better this way. Because who knows how uncomfortable they both would've been if this had actually been a date.
He takes a deep breath and readies himself for his goal of the evening.
To find out if his feelings are returned.
"So, why didn't you visit me at the hospital?"
Reid's watching Morgan with a content expression, the question not meant to be accusing for he only wants to know if Garcia was right. If Morgan truly didn't come by out of confusion.
He is quite surprised how easy he asks the question he has been dreading to ask Derek. But then again, he's not used to drinking alcoholic beverages and he is sipping his second glass of wine already.
He's not drunk, probably not even tipsy. The feeling of having consumed too much alcohol is easy to recognize and so far the alcohol has only helped him in being more daring than usual.
But, he decides when he takes another sip, two glasses is plenty for an evening.
To his surprise, Morgan turns his head away and there's a look on his face Spencer's sure he's never seen before. Nervousness. The man worries his lips for a few seconds before turning back to Reid and with an apologetic smile saying: "I had some things to do."
The blatant lie hangs in the air and Reid sighs. "Is it because I'm gay?" He asks softly, not sure if he wants an answer. But he needs to know, needs to ask because all he wants is for Morgan to be honest.
"No!" Morgan calls out and quickly turns and leans towards Reid to put an comforting hand on the genius's knee, who's sitting cross-legged on the couch, facing Morgan.
Spencer freezes at the touch and Morgan visibly shivers. "No, Reid." He says again softly, his eyes directed downwards.
Relief and happiness take over Reid and a breath he doesn't realize he has been holding escapes him. He places his hand on top of Morgan's and with a gentle smile sighs: "I'm glad."
Morgan looks up, surprised at the gentle and relieved tone. A small smile graces his lips when he sees Reid's own smile, his pink blush and his warm eyes. "I would never judge you because of that, Pretty Boy." He says and Reid's heart flutters.
He looks at the man but sees his expression darken suddenly and Morgan asks: "So who were you meeting tonight?"
Spencer flinches at the question. "No-one." He mutters softly, turning his head away to study the coffee-table in embarrassment.
"Ah, c'mon Pretty Boy." Morgan laughs, sending shivers down Reid's spine.
But Spencer frowns and turns back to Morgan, accusingly asking: "Why do you want to know? You never asked before when you thought I liked women."
He knows it is only partly true. Because everyone knows he doesn't go out much thus they've stopped asking. And he knows he's being unfair since whenever he did have plans Morgan always asked.
Defensively Morgan removes his hand from Reid's knee, the warmth immediately missed, and says: "Just curious now, man."
Reid grips his knee and looks down to his lap. Curious about what? He wonders. And he feels unjustifiably angry towards Derek for not telling him he slept with a man, because he himself hadn't even told his friend his preferences. But he has drunk a bit of wine, he dares to say more now than he normally would and without truly realizing the consequences of his actions mutters darkly: "Sure you are, as if you don't have experience with men yourself."
Shit.
Reid freezes, surprised by his own words and he closes his eyes tightly, holding his breath. He shouldn't have said that, shouldn't have even known that bit of information and he is afraid he's hurt Morgan now.
He sure is good at screwing up. This wasn't how things were supposed to go.
"I'm sorry," he squeaks, hoping for the best yet fearing the worst. Because Derek doesn't trust a lot of people, with a reason. And now he's done something that could damage all trust the man ever placed in him and if that is indeed the case, he will regret it the rest of his life.
Morgan gasps in shock and with wide eyes watches Reid. He wonders how the man knows because so far he has only told Garcia. A sigh then passes his lips. "Let me guess..." He mutters.
He wants to get mad, because this is not nothing Reid is blurting out. But the genius has his eyes clenched shut and he is shaking slightly and he can't help but pity the poor man. He sighs. "Why did she tell you?"
Through lowered lashes Reid watches Morgan, gauging the man's reaction after that question. Morgan sounds tired, disappointed but through all that the smallest of smiles is gracing his lips. Nervously Reid licks his lips.
"She visited and you hadn't come to see me, not even once. And I was worried that you were disgusted with me because I am gay and then she... she told me you slept with a man once." He rambles.
He then swallows and closes his eyes again, whispering broken-heartedly: "Or twice after... after Hankel."
Even speaking the name hurts, brings back memories that he would rather forget for all eternity. He shivers, temporarily forgetting he is faced with Morgan and trying to make things better again between the two of them.
Instead all he can think about is the kidnapping, the drugs and the nightmares he suffers because of that.
Morgan easily recognizes the signs, he can see Reid is remembering things he should never have been through and all his anger melts away to make place for a worry that has him move closer to the genius on the couch.
Gently he places one hand on Reid's knee and the other on his left shoulder, gently calling out: "Reid? I'm here, it's all right."
Reid's knees are touching Morgan's thighs, the warm hands feel so very comfortable and the soft voice slowly lulls the genius away from the memory that is eating at him.
With shaking breath he opens his eyes and the moment he does Morgan pulls him closer, mindful of Reid's hurt shoulder, and hugs the lanky man that sits in front of him on the couch.
Reid buries his head against a broad shoulder, his back aching slightly because of the uncomfortable position but he doesn't care. Morgan's strong arm is around him, the other rubbing small circles on his knees and he feels as if he has reached Heaven. "Morgan..." he murmurs softly.
"I almost lost you then." Morgan whispers, turning his head slightly and breathing in Reid's scent.
Reid closes his eyes. He is more nervous than he has ever been before. Because this is it, the perfect moment he has been waiting for the entire evening. And earlier he thought he had screwed up so badly he would never get this chance again. And here it is. He is in Morgan's arms and if he doesn't tell the man of his love now, he never will.
He swallows. "Derek," he calls out softly, shyly and waits for answer.
Morgan hums and pushes Spencer away from him, gently taking hold of the man's chin so he is forced to look the dark man in the eyes. "Yes, Pretty Boy?" He murmurs.
With wide eyes and a blush settling on his cheeks Reid swallows. "A-ah... well, I –" He stutters, closes his eyes for a few seconds. He takes a deep breath, opens his eyes again and blurts: "I love you."
Morgan smiles warmly, lovingly and his eyes shine with happiness. "Gods, Reid." He utters and pulls the man against his chest again with a sigh of relief.
"When Hankel had you I realized it. You were the one." Morgan starts telling, one hand stroking Spencer's hair and the other pressing gently against the small of his back. "But you were so traumatized I was afraid you'd break if I told you. I was so happy when you said you were gay, Pretty Boy. You have no idea."
He then lifts Reid's head gently as if he is made of precious China and with an almost blinding smile whispers: "I love you too, babe."
Reid looks like a doe with his wide eyes and mouth slightly agape and Morgan can't help himself.
He cups the man's cheeks and slowly lowers his lips until he's kissing Reid, one of his hands sinking in soft curls and his eyes close on their own accord.
A happy sigh leaves Reid's lips the moment Morgan's touch his. He returns the kiss lovingly and enthusiastically. Kissing Morgan now is even better than in the bar during their case.
Because this time he is allowed to place the hand of his un-injured arm against Morgan's neck, allowed to feel the warmth coursing through his body and the lust that rushes through him.
He moans softly when Morgan's tongue coaxes its way into his mouth and strokes his teasingly.
They kiss for minutes, Morgan's hands stroking Reid's back while Reid loses himself in the kiss. They pull away reluctantly when the need for air becomes too much and Derek places butterfly kisses on Reid's lips, before murmuring: "Can we move to the bed?"
Reid freezes temporarily. He licks his lips and thinks for a few seconds. He knows he wants this, has wanted this ever since their case but isn't this moving too fast?
But, his mind offers, with their jobs one would never know what would happen. They were FBI after all. Smiling shyly up at Morgan he nods. "Yes."
Derek smiles broadly and brushes a few strands of hair out of Reid's face. "We won't do anything you're not comfortable with."
Spencer smiles nervously. "But I want to." He murmurs and before he knows it, Morgan's lips are on his again, devouring him.
A soft moan falls off of pink, kiss-swollen lips. Reid's chest is heaving, his shirt removed by Derek's quick and deft hands, and he lays on the bed with half-lidded eyes, watching as a shirtless Morgan kisses down his chest.
When Morgan licks his nipple he shivers, pleasure coursing through him and settling in his groin. Unconsciously he bucks his hips and he can both feel and hear Derek chuckle against his skin.
Derek gently sucks the pink nub before releasing it and looking up at Reid with a smirk. "Impatient, aren't we?" He asks huskily.
Reid flushes red at that question but nods nonetheless.
All he has been thinking about the past few days is Derek and now that he has the man, it seems as if those feelings started running wild, taking over his body. Besides that, he's never had sex with someone before and the mere thought of Morgan making love to him excites him so much it surprises him.
Morgan chuckles, a sensual sound that has Reid shiver all over again, and then kisses his way down a pale chest, his tongue teasing the sensitive skin.
Spencer's breath speeds up, soft gasps leaving his lips and he stills when Morgan reaches the top of his pants. He licks his lips nervously and watches as Morgan sits up and leans over his body until they're face to face, their lips almost touching.
Derek's breath ghosts over his lips as the man asks: "Is this taking it to far?"
Reid smiles, touched by the man's concern of taking things too far and he reaches up his left hand and strokes it over Morgan's cheek. He swallows and then softly says: "No," he murmurs nervously. "Just be... gentle."
Lips descend upon his again and Morgan kisses him sweetly for a few seconds, pulling away too soon to Spencer's liking. "Of course." The man promises before sliding down Reid's chest with a luring grin playing on his lips.
When Morgan takes off his pants Reid finds himself wishing he wasn't hurt. That he could actually repay Morgan and touch the man as he is now touching him. He has to admit he feels a little stupid, just lying there and doing not a thing more than immensely enjoy what his lover is doing.
Well, he just has to make sure that Morgan knows he is loved in return when his shoulder is completely healed again.
When both his pants and underwear have been discarded to the floor Reid turns his head away shyly.
"Spencer," Morgan murmurs and lovingly places a kiss onto the genius's foot. "You're absolutely gorgeous."
Laughter escapes Spencer and he retorts: "Look who's talking." Before flushing again when Morgan's hands stroke up his legs.
Morgan chuckles and shakes his head in amusement. Then he looks up at Spencer with one last smirk and kisses a milky-white inner-thigh.
A gasp leaves Reid's lips and he holds his breath in anticipation.
"Aah..." A loud moan passes his lips and he throws back his head against the pillows when suddenly Morgan takes him into his mouth, a heavenly tongue running from base to tip.
Morgan's tongue swirls around his hard length, lapping at the pre-cum and within seconds Spencer is rendered speechless with a brain turned into mush. "Nnnh... Morgan,"
Sucking Reid one last time Morgan pulls away slowly and huskily asks: "Please tell me you've got lube, babe."
A whimper passes Reid's lips when Morgan pulls away and he blinks a few times, realising the man is asking him something. "W-what?" He murmurs.
Morgan chuckles and kisses Spencer's hip tenderly. "Lube, babe." He reminds the genius.
Reid blinks one more time. "Lube..." he repeats, his voice a bit drowsy and with a blush he nods. "It's, ah... on the right." He says.
He can't get it himself, his right arm is hurt after all and Morgan moves around the bed to retrieve the lube from the night-stand on the right side of the bed.
He kisses Spencer again, their tongues battling for dominance and Reid allows his hand to stroke the taut muscles of Morgan's chest.
"Love you, babe." Morgan murmurs against his lips, pressing a quick peck down onto kiss-swollen lips again before licking his lips and sliding down in-between Reid's now parted legs.
Because even though he has never slept with someone, he has read books about it. He knows how it works and how, technically, it should feel and he awaits in anticipation as Morgan uncaps the bottle of lube and coats his fingers.
He bites his lip softly when a cold finger circles his entrance. Morgan leans forward to place soft, gentle kisses against his stomach when he pushes the finger past the tight ring of muscles.
Spencer wiggles his hips. It's slightly uncomfortable but it doesn't hurt. In fact, when Morgan starts moving his finger it actually feels quite good and he shivers.
When, after a few more pleasurable strokes, another finger enters along with the first one he gasps again, lying still to accommodate himself to the feeling.
"It's all right," Morgan murmurs against his skin. "Relax, Pretty Boy."
He bites his lip again and takes a few deep breathes through his nose, his body relaxing slightly. And when Morgan scissors his fingers he gasps at how good it feels. But when Morgan's fingers find his prostate he is gasping for breath and moaning for more.
Morgan continues preparing his lover until the genius is nothing more than a moaning pile of lust and wantonness under his touch and then pulls his fingers out of the man slowly.
Spencer immediately cries out at the loss but when he looks up and sees Morgan wiggle out of his pants in a hurry, afterwards coating his member before positioning himself at Reid's entrance he licks his lips.
He lies back down, takes a deep breath and then murmurs: "Don't make me wait."
And with a smile, Morgan doesn't make his lover wait any longer. Slowly and gently he pushes in and when he is fully sheathed stills completely to let Reid get used to the feeling.
Reid gasps, it hurts slightly but isn't completely un-pleasurable. And after a few moments he nods his head, be it shakily, indicating Derek can move.
They start with a slow, tender and loving rhythm. One of Morgan's hands is placed against Reid's hip for stability and his other hand strokes the pale chest, moving lower and lower as the pace of their lovemaking increases.
They're not going to last long. Reid has been thinking of this and only this for the past days and Morgan has wanted this for months.
Moans fill the air, sweat drips down their bodies and skin slaps against skin as Morgan pushes in with quick snaps of his hips and Reid pushes back against him wantonly.
"Ah, babe, you feel so good." Morgan gasps and takes Spencer's hard member in his hand, stroking it in rhythm with his thrusts.
"Nnnh," Reid moans loudly, bucking his hips when Derek strokes him.
He's so close, pleasure building up inside him rapidly. "I-I'm..." He starts but is cut off by another wave of desire that shoots through him.
"I know babe, me too." Morgan husks, his voice shaking from lust.
That voice, that sinful voice that is pure huskiness, dripping with lust and love sends him over the edge. With a loud cry of his lover's name Spencer throws his head back and his body shivers almost uncontrollably as he comes, his white essence coating Derek's hand.
Seeing his Spencer come undone is the most delicious and arousing things Morgan has ever seen in his life and with Reid's walls clamping down on him he lets out a loud moan, his cum filling his lover and he lets himself fall forward in the aftershocks of pleasure.
"M-Morgan?" Reid calls out shyly after a few minutes during which they have both laid in a heap of pleasurable afterglow on the bed.
The man on top of him hums softly and Reid murmurs: "My shoulder..."
Without needing to say more Morgan sits up, smiling apologetically before lying down on his side and drawing Reid close to his chest, making sure to be watchful of the other's shoulder.
He kisses the top of Reid's head and says: "That was wonderful, babe. I love you."
Reid smiles brightly and buries his head just the littlest bit closer against Morgan's chest, his arm wiggled out from underneath his body to grasp Morgan's and intertwining their fingers. "Love you too." He whispers happily.
He then licks his lips and says: "And just wait until I can actually use my arms next time."
Morgan chuckles, strokes Reid's back and licks his lover's ear. "Can't wait."
If God had wanted me otherwise, He would have created me otherwise.
Johann von Goethe