Rise of the Lincoln Monster

by BenPCI

N/A

The Rise of the Lincoln Monster

Ben Shehu

4.18.16

It was cloudy on April 6, 1778. Cloudy and unusually calm. Despite the apparent peacefulness, anxiousness and dread filled the air. Almost as if there was anticipation of a catastrophe to break the peace. Like the calm before the sto-

Hi there. Sorry for the tacky introduction. I just needed to get your attention.

I'm a long-time resident of Jamestown, England. It's actually April 10, 1888 but the atmosphere around here is, indeed, electric. Why? Well, it's because my town is going through the biggest political crisis it's ever seen. I could tell you right now what exactly is going on but I'd rather have you read the entire story first. However, I will give you a short, spoiler-free summary. One of Jamestown's governing parties, the Lincolns, alienate and anger their voter base for years on end. In doing so, the Lincolns inadvertently create a monster that ends up tearing them apart by stealing their base support. Now, they have to find a way to undermine the will of the people and stop him from getting elected and gaining power. Interesting? Great. Now go read the story and you'll find out what happens next.

Long ago, when Jamestown was founded, the residents decided that they were going to create a legislative body, comprised of three seats, to govern the town. The seats would represent each of the three administrative divisions: Utica, Springfield and Alexandria. Elections would be held every six years to fill the seats. Those elected would be referred to as "Councilmen". Originally, there was only one party that participated in the elections. When the residents realized that this party did not represent everyone's interests, another party was formed, leaving the residents to choose between the Jackson Party and Lincoln Party. Both parties then faced off in a series of elections that saw their relationship deteriorate faster than anyone could have expected. Their growing intolerance of each other caused times of economic and political stagnation. No new laws or policies would get passed, there was less money to go around and many jobs were lost. The elites were wealthy enough to sustain themselves, but the proletariats(working class) struggled to survive, with many dying from hunger and thirst. The bourges (middle class) also suffered but managed to get by. This bitter partisan divide might have only involved the Lincolns and Jacksons but it was the residents who suffered. Quite understandably, the residents were angry and demanded reform. Many rebelled, but it didn't matter much. It was the party members who had the power. All they had to do to restore order was introduce a rather flawed and narrow plan to improve bipartisan relations. It was enough to calm tensions between them and the residents, but somehow, even through all of the fine print and political language, a little part of every resident knew, just knew that this plan would do nothing to improve their situation and the government no longer serves them anymore. This would be the start of a long-standing, strained relationship between those who govern and those who are governed.

The nature of this relationship continued for years. The government became almost fully consumed by the fight for power, leaving the town unattended at times. Power switched hands multiple times between the Jacksons and Lincolns. Theoretically, this might have created a balance of their ideologies, legislation and plans for the future but this was certainly not the case. There was a balance, just not the one the residents were hopeful for. Every time a majority of the seats changed hands, the parties would scrap each other's progress and "rebuild". It was disastrous for the town, having to adapt to the ever-changing political climate. Taxes raised and lowered. There were more government regulations and less government regulations. Money was spent, and then it wasn't. These changes weren't even brought on by the same party, at times. Sticking true to their ideology held a much lower priority than doing whatever was convenient and most helpful in their fight for power. It's often speculated that they weren't serving just themselves, playing politics like this. Through all the changes in policy, the only ones who consistently came out more or equally profitable were the elites. Landowners, barristers, bankers, prominent fur traders. It didn't matter what occupation they held, as long as they had an incredible abundance of funds and ubiquitous influence. They didn't concern themselves much with the politics in the town, until they realized more money could be made if the legislative process was manipulated to overlook and maybe even favor their unethical business practices. And, who was in control of said process? That's right, the Councilmen. So, almost simultaneously, all of the town's richest and most powerful tycoons came rushing to the sitting Councilmen and potential future candidates, cash in hand, to try and woo them. The Councilmen and candidates, with dollar signs for eyes, gladly accepted their political "support". They did so for many reasons. You see, the Councilmen were public servants and they weren't compensated as handsomely as those who were in the same socioeconomic class, but in the private sector. They couldn't stand walking outside their doors every morning and seeing their neighbor's bigger house, better- educated children and more attractive wife. Of course, the money wouldn't go directly to them, because that was illegal, but it had to go somewhere and they figured some of it would find it's way into the government and eventually, their pockets, which, by the way, is okay, because it's a little less illegal. Both the candidates and the Councilmen also needed money to fund their expensive campaigns, which made them all the more willing to accept those generous donations. In exchange for all this financial support, the Councilmen would create laws that allowed the elites and the big businesses they worked for to operate without concern for government regulations and rules.

Despite the parties' wrongdoings and ethics, they remained the only two parties that the residents could and did vote for. However, in the 1880s, this changed. There were still two parties but less and less people were voting. They were understandably upset with the massive shift in political philosophy, mainly socially, and could not bring themselves to vote for candidates from either party.

What happened during this time was that the Lincolns had won all three seats for consecutive terms. It was often called the "Lincoln Sweep" or the "Lincoln Revolution". Donald Feagan, Newton Grinch, and Sean Bayner were the town's Councilmen for nearly two decades. Afterwards, the party still retained the majority of the seats until present day. They implemented radical, discriminative policies that wouldn have even been considered, had the power been shared. One group that especially felt the brunt of this were illegal immigrants. They had proposed taking a hard-line against them, claiming they compromised the town's economic and social integrity, a clear contradiction to the existing immigration policies. Because Jamestown was economically prosperous and prided itself in taking in the "tired and poor", many people from neighboring towns were seeking to come here. Some came for the economic virtues, some for the education, and some to escape persecution and war at home. Not everyone, though, came here legally because not everyone had the luxury of going to school, knowing someone in Jamestown, or being able to financially sustain themselves, all important requirements to have to be considered when applying to immigrate legally. However, Jamestown was constantly expanding, so illegal immigrants were accepted with open arms and helped greatly along their path to obtaining legal residence. Then, it happened. The Lincoln Sweep. The general consensus is that the Sweep started when the party won all three seats. Well, anyone who was privy to the following information knew that wasn't true. In the years prior to the Sweep, Councilmen Feagan, Grinch and Bayner came up with a plan that effectively popularized their prejudicial and hateful views in a rather progressive and accepting community. First, they hired three uneducated, poor, wide-eyed twenty-somethings to spew hateful speech against illegal immigrants in the town square. They were blamed for the loss of jobs in manual labour, increase in crime (when there wasn't an increase in crime at all) and their supposed complete dependance on government aid (also not true). I think their status as human beings was also questioned. This nonsense and the men spewing it was and were mostly ignored but nonetheless remembered by the residents. It also helped that they had memorable names. One was named Lush Rimbaugh, although he's often called by his nickname, Big Fat Idiot. Then, there's Ben Peck, who's also called by his nickname, Whiny Alcoholic Wreck, and finally, John Hannity, whom I don't care enough about to create a fake nickname for. When trusted professionals started to falsely validate their claims after being "encouraged" to by the Councilmen, people started to listen a lot more. I mean, how could they not? The residents didn't have many credible information sources, other than trusted professionals, so they weren't able to debunk what the three idiots were saying. If only we had an easily accessible globally interconnected network that provided a variety of information and communication facilities. People like Rimbaugh, Peck and Hannity would each have a virtually nonexistent following… right? Anyways, the Big Fat Idiot, Whiny Alcoholic Wreck and the other guy started to gain a following and their ideas became increasingly widespread and accepted. Finally, to top it all off, more and more illegal immigrants were implicated in crimes, confirming their danger to society, and were shown in the first ever public demographic reports to be the most dependant on public aid. At this point, at least two thirds of the residents were as adamant as the councilmen were in taking a hostile and merciless approach to illegal immigration. It wasn't like anything I've ever seen before. The hate was unbelievable. It was so raw, so passionate. That wasn't all, either. Every single one of them truly believed, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the illegal immigrants were at the root of their problems. For them, it was like saying water is wet. It was amazing, how just three people could turn an entire community on a group of people who were just recently part of them. There was no turning back now for the Councilmen. They would have to go through fully with their policies or risk an uprising by angering the voters they had just created for themselves. The Councilmen, being the cocky, evil, power hungry politicians they were, opted for the latter.

When the election cycle came around, Feagan, Grinch and Bayner dominated, with each winning over 70% of the vote. In the beginning of their careers as councilmen, they had mostly dealt with economic issues, ignoring the illegal immigrants. In fact, they had tried to oppress, attack and villainize every other minority to draw attention away for their inaction on illegal immigration. Homosexuals were wrongfully blamed for a deadly infectious disease that weakened the immune system and denied the right to marry. Every Muslim in Jamestown was chastised for an attack on the town square, committed by an Islamist extremist, that took the lives of many. How infuriating that was, seeing half of the town suddenly become experts on a religion relatively unknown to them before the attack after reading a few pages of the government controlled, hate filled Daily Gazette following the attack. "Keep Jamestown safe from Islam", "Islam is Public Enemy No.1", "Liberate Islam". That wasn't even the worst of it. Also, there must have been a contract or something between Jamestown's female residents and the Councilmen that stipulated the Councilmen would be in control of every woman's fetus during pregnancy. Granted, this is just speculation but what other explanation could there be?

Of course, the Councilmen's supporters were also concerned about these issues as well, but nothing was more pressing than illegal immigration, so when the Councilmen continued to ignore it, they started to get uneasy. The Councilmen tried to calm tensions by deporting some illegal immigrants, but this didn't do much on that end. The truth was that the illegal immigrants made up such a large portion of the manual labour workforce in Jamestown and were needed to stay that way. The Councilmen then found themselves in a tricky position. They couldn't continue their anti-illegal immigration campaign because it was driving and forcing illegal immigrants out but they couldn't betray their voters, as well, by not continuing it. They delayed the decision for as long as they could until several years later, when they were forced to provide amnesty to thousands of illegal immigrants. The voters? Not understandably pissed, but SUPER PISSED. On the days following the provision of amnesty to the illegal immigrants, more than three quarters of their voters protested outside of Council Hall for weeks. To make matters worse, the Councilmen had created a new council position, Council President, that would have executive powers and they had put up Feagan for it. He was supposed to run unopposed, but now that he's lost most of his support, there's no telling what will happen. The protesters formed a Presidential Committee to select a candidate to run in election. They had some good prospects, but not quite what they wanted. They wanted someone who was not a politician at heart. Among the more promising ones included Theodore Cruz, Glenn Carson and Mick Scott. Then, almost as if their prayers had been answered, a monster appeared. It must have been the ugliest thing anyone's ever seen. It had a yellow beaver pelt on it's head and it's skin was artificial and orange. It was tall and wide. Within the first few seconds of it's appearance, it must have exhibited, at least, 32 different facial expressions. The Committee was taken back, shocked.

"I want to run for President" he said.

So, they sat him down and listened to what he had to say. When he finished, they just stood there, in complete awe. Throughout the whole conversation, he changed his political views and leanings 17 times, spoke with the vocabulary of a seven year old, attacked every minority he could think of and exhibited the most watered-down, uneducated and ignorant understanding of Jamestown politics ever.

"He's perfect!" they exclaimed.

He was unanimously voted as the committee's nominee and was presented to Jamestown a few days later. Thousands showed up to hear him speak and were, surprisingly, impressed.

"When I first saw him, I was kinda disappointed because he was, like, really ugly. Like, REALLY ugly. But then, when I heard what he had to say, I was, like, wow! This dude's f#$ %!^ great!" said the one female supporter.

It was there where he expressed his views on immigration. He called for the deportation of all illegal immigrants and a temporary ban of all Muslims. It was these stances that the supporters were particularly pleased with.

"Those damn aliens have got to go! I don't want my taxes to go to those welfare bums anymore!" said your racist grandpa.

"It's a TEMPORARY ban. I draw the line at permanent ban." said a university educated supporter.

Why was it that the monster had garnered so much support, despite his unpleasant character and crazy xenophobic, chauvinist, racist proposals? It's because his supporters shared many of the same traits. For years and years prior to the Lincoln Sweep, these same people had been force fed the same crap by the Lincolns. Eventually, they came to believe in this crap by choice and it became part of their philosophy. When the Councilmen failed to deliver on their promises, they felt betrayed and realized they now needed someone who could give them what the Councilmen couldn't. They didn't know it then but they also wanted someone who wasn't a politician. Someone genuine who would serve his voters first before playing politics. Someone who could get things done. A true authoritarian. Unfortunately, this person happened to be the monster, but even with all his flaws and despicable policies, he was still better than any typical councilmen candidate, no matter how qualified or intelligent. It was refreshing for the supporters to have someone be so candid with his political intentions.

Soon enough, the monster had all of Jamestown supporting him. It was a revolution. Finally, there was going to be a politician for the people in power. Someone who could represent everyone's interests. Well, maybe not everyone. All the sane people had moved to Trono, a city north of the border, whose worst political crisis was their broken education board. Oh, and also a Councilman who took a little, teeny weeny bit of crack cocaine once during his time in office. Or maybe twice. Nobody's really sure. Anyways, the election date, April 6 1778, is, at this point, fast approaching and the monster already seems to be the apparent victor. The Councilmen had tried everything to sabotage his campaign, but they failed miserably every single time. They just didn't have enough influence over the people. For example, they highlighted his inexperience in politics and lack of leadership skills. This only angered his supporters into supporting him more. They also tried to bring up things in his past, like his numerous former wives. This only made him seem like a womanizer, adding to the number of things his supporter admired about him. After these attacks, the monster joked that he would still retain his supporters, even if he committed a murder. Surprisingly or unsurprisingly, I'm not sure at this point, he was right. A formal investigation into a murder in a city far west of the border implicated the monster as the murderer. Unfortunately for the Councilmen, they could not try him for a murder committed outside of his jurisdiction. And the monster? The only thing he lost was a potential supporter in the man he murdered.

Sure enough, election day came around and thousands of people were lining up to vote. For many, it was a happy day. They felt as though they had some actual power, a say on what they wanted in government. Not much changed in the days leading up to the election, so people were already calling for a win for the monster. There were still some people voting for Feagan but not enough to contest the monster. The illegal immigrants and Muslims would have voted for Feagan, as well, but they had their voting rights taken away by him.

The monster was already preparing his victory speech, which, of course, did not possess any civility or class. And Feagan? Well, he wasn't writing up a concession speech and it was not because he, too, did not possess class or civility.

Right before the polls opened, the monster came out on a great big stage and called for all of his supporters to gather round. He then announced he would be withdrawing from the race to tend to personal matter. The audience was devastated and completely quiet. They could not believe what just happened. It was almost like they had their feelings of joy and excitement violently ripped away from them. Someone broke the silence by crying, which was then followed by jeers, booing and more crying. The monster resigned from the stage, after which the election caller came out to announce victory for Treagan by no contest. Even through all that happened, the establishment won again.

The next three days were filled with protests and violent demonstrations. The monster's supporters knew the Councilmen were behind this and they were out for blood. The Councilmen were forced to hide in a nearby city until it's safe for them to come back. The civil minorities were also forced to leave the city, as they were targeted by the protesters. Now, here I am, observing these protests, wondering what the hell happened? Well, here's what I think happened. The people came together to form a city and eventually a government. The government, who were also people, overstepped their power and abused the rights of the people they were supposedly serving. They spent the most time and effort helping the rich and helping themselves get rich, while others were struggling to survive. Finally, they target several minorities and force their constituents to accept and embrace their hate filled propaganda, making a monster out of them in the process. They finally anger their constituents to the point of no return, after which they're almost overthrown by a monster they inadvertently created. Just when they're about to lose their power, they go into survival mode, forcing the monster out and ripping away the will of the people. It was a battle between two monsters, the open one and the one disguised as a human, that resulted in only the people getting hurt.

So, that concludes this story. I hope those of you who read it might be, someday, inspired to affect change of your own and keep your governments honest. It was like I once said…

"Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal" - Me