Oh, Bella Swan!

by stelianqueen

A couple of things that that I would say to Bella Swan if I met her- in song form! Sung to the tune of "Oh Christmas Tree."

Oh, Bella Swan!

Oh, Bella Swan!

Why are you so incredibly dumb?

Oh, Bella Swan!

Oh, Bella Swan!

You have no common sense!

Your boyfriend,

is older than you.

And you married him,

Oh, Bella Swan!

Oh, Bella Swan!

Is that even legal?

Oh, Bella Swan!

Oh, Bella Swan!

I would rather jump in a pond!

Oh, Bella Swan!

Oh, Bella Swan!

How crazy are thy friends?

You are a complete

idiot.

And a horrible role model

Oh, Bella Swan!

Oh, Bella Swan!

I hate your sick guts!

Oh, Bella Swan!

Oh, Bella Swan!

You are even worse that Bush!

Oh, Bella Swan!

Oh, Bella Swan!

And that's really saying something!

You're best friends

are physocrats

And so is Mr. Sparkles

Oh, Bella Swan!

Oh, Bella Swan!

What has died in your brain?

Oh, Bella Swan!

Oh, Bella Swan!

Mr. Sparkles is not a vampire

Oh, Bella Swan!

Oh, Bella Swan!

If he was he wouldn't sparkles!

He is instead,

A fairy,

A very sick fairy

Oh, Bella Swan!

Oh, Bella Swan!

A fairy without wings

Oh, Bella Swan!

Oh, Bella Swan!

I hope now you see,

How dumb you can be!