WILLY WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY!
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha and co.; Nor Willy Wonka.
A/N:
I'm extremely bored so I thought since one of my reviews asked for me to make Kagome a little nutty; so here it is. O and just to clear up any confusion you may have for who Willy Wonka is, he is played by Sesshoumaru.
Willy Wonka hadn't opened his candy shop to outsiders in nearly 13 years. Inuyasha would kick his ass when he did though. Every year of his life he would stare at that factory for hours until his eyes burned; but it never did. So that is why on October 12, 2001, when messengers announced Willy was going to open his factory to 5 children and their parents, he was in the front of the line to the local candy shop with a penny in his sweaty palm. Damn it! Why isn't he opening this F&ing shop faster. Now if you had heard this coming from a child, you would have thought, "Wow that kid isn't right in the head." But this was no kid. He was actually approximately 69 years old. But after many excursions with the plastic surgeon, he looked about 18 or 19. This didn't bother anyone though, even though the contest said only children and their parents could enter the contest, but with him being a pedophile (i.e Kagome) he thought he would get his cradle stolen girlfriend to say she won and then take him with her. How wrong he was.
"What do you mean, a penny can't buy a goddamn chocolate bar! Back in the day I could buy 3 for a penny!"
After all the trouble he went through though to find the last golden ticket and after fighting three security guards and begging on the street corner for four hours, she left him dead in a gutter. But that's what you get after stringing a hormonal 15 year old along, when she is madly in love with you.
So anyways Kagome takes a little walk to the pawn shop, and after she figures out that it's just a scrap of paper with no retail value, she walks to the gate of the factory. The gate starts to crumble in her hands so she patches it back up with mud. There that should hold it. Right after she patched it up it slid off, but she didn't care; she still petted it fondly as if it were a new born kitten. Actually, that is exactly what she thought it was, being small and slimy.
So any who, the day came when Kagome was waiting at the gate with her father Miroku, who used to work for Willy.
He was deathly afraid to go back inside. His worst childhood abuse occurred there, after his father sold him when he was only 6 years old to the slave driver. In 1970 though Willy Wonka was caught with a whole room full of slave laborers. He paid a five hundred dollar fine. That was a rather large dent in his funds. He still hadn't earned back all that money even though he owned a multi million dollar business, but after the factory rent was paid for, the money disappeared, and all of the local prostitutes were able to buy two story houses.
The gates opened slowly with a loud screeching noise that everyone cringed and gritted their teeth. Willy Wonka was slowly stumbling out of the factory with a cane in his hand. He tripped and fell. He was also holding a bottle of his most infamous product: extra strength candy flavored vodka that gets you drunken 10x faster than the normal alcoholic beverage. He fell flat on his face then got up unsteadily.
"Hey! HEY! WHAT ARE YA'LL DOIN ON ME PROPERTY!" he pulled out a 12 gauge. And started shooting into the crowd. It was a good thing he was stone drunk so all of the bullets were straight up.
Just then a little man colored orange with what looks like a marker, waddled up to him and whispered something into his ear.
"I DON'T GIVE A RATS ASS IF I SAID I WAS GONNA LET THESE BRATS IN!" he then fell asleep.
But lo and behold, one hour later he came to and proceeded in giving the winners a tour.
And guess what? I'm gonna stop here I need to finish this in the morning. Lol please review.