Find a Way
By Cam (GymusicAddict)
Summary: Booth and Brennan are going to Find a Way to sort the issues that have just come up between them in response to their 100th episode, The Parts in the Sum of the Whole, meeting with Sweets. Hopefully it'll lead to them Finding a Way to be together. AU.
Disclaimer: Don't own them, FOX Entertainment and Hart Hanson do, I'm just barrowing BONES for my own fun and games.
Author's Note: This has taken me forever to write, but I have lots of ideas and I've already written part of another chapter. Their newfound relationship can't be all sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows though, so naturally there must be corresponding angst and frustration for this chapter (or more, hehe). And that, is what he next number of chapters are going to be.
Also, I really hope that you don't desert me, if you like the story, because I'm really bad about updating and school always seems to get in the way; just a warning beforehand. And, most chapters won't be this long, but this one just kept growing and I really needed to cover everything, so…yeah.
Reviews are also greatly appreciated because I'm not the greatest writer, and I'm sure there are spelling and grammar errors. Any corrections about my knowledge of the canon are also appreciated because I'm sure they will probably come up also.
Lastly, I love the song Find a Way by SafetySuit, and I think that it really fits the situation that ensued after B&B left Sweet's office in the 100th episode, hence why I'm using the song for the chapter. But, I'm altering their conversation and the ultimate turn of events to fit my own twisted fantasy and of course make a new story out of it. Hope you enjoy my story. :)
Chapter One
Find a Way—SafetySuit
The kiss was beautiful. The kiss was breath taking. It was like everything she'd ever dreamed of. It was a like a cold fire that spread throughout her body and left her feeling tingling and weightless. But it was also everything she couldn't have. They were partners, best friends; they could never be any more. She didn't trust herself to give him the love she know he deserves, he is amazing in every way that science can explain and then some, to her he's the one…he's the one. But, he needs and deserves more than she can offer. And if they ever did give them a chance, there's a possibility that she could hurt him and lose him if they ever broke up, so reluctantly she pushes him away.
"No!" She yells half-heartedly as she pushes her and her partner apart from each other.
Seeing her partner's pleading look she squeezes her eyes shut and clenches her fists into tight fists at hear sides. She refuses to look at him and listen to what he was saying, she didn't want to hear him say how they could make a relationship work, get it approved by the FBI and still be the best crime stopping team in DC, be more than just 'partners'. She also couldn't bear to see him with such pain written on his face, it's like he was punched in the gut, no, like he was shot in the shoulder. That had happened before, she had caused it. In the weeks following the incident, when she was notified that he was 'dead', she was devastated, refusing even to talk to Angela. It was worse than when she was in foster care, those few weeks when Booth was reported 'dead' were the most painful of her life. He had been gone, her best friend, the love of her life had been gone…
"No, no, I can't…"she whispers.
Hold on
What's the rush
What's the rush
We're not done are we
'Cause I don't need to change this atmosphere we've made if
You can stay one more hour
Can you stay one more hour
You know I'm gonna find a way to let you have your way with me
You know I'm gonna find a time to catch your hand and make you, stay
"Can't what Bones?" He asks, "Please talk to me…" He takes a step towards her to grab her hand, but when he does she rips it out of his grasp.
Opening her eyes, she allows the tears she's been holding back to begin to pool in the creases of the corners of her eyes.
"I can't take the chance Booth…"
"W-Why?"
Hold on
I'll be here when it's all done you know
'Cause what's the point in chasing if I can't enjoyyour face and
We can't be wrong tonight
Can we be wrong tonight
She's always known that they would be compatible in bed, but in the years that they've worked together she's concluded that their personalities are far too different for any relationship, other than a sexual one, to ever exist between them. They argue over most topics and she knows that if they ever allow a relationship to form between them it would be over incredibly quickly and just he thought of losing her partner in her life makes her metaphorical heart pang even more than it is already.
Booth is her rock, he's the one person in her life that has consistently been there since they began working together as partners five years before. Since her childhood, anyone she's ever let get close to her has abandoned her or left her and she cannot possibly let the most important person in her life leave. He is her life vest, her anchor. So, as hard as it is to continue, she must; she has to tell him why they can't take the chance, why they can't try to be together.
"Because…because, I can't lose you Booth. I can't fucking lose you if we didn't work out!"
"Come on Bones…please…just think about it."
And if I was running
You'd be the one who I wouldbe running to
And if I was crying
You would belining the cloud that would pull me through
And ifI was scared
Then I would be glad to tell you andwalk away
But I am not lying
I am just trying tofind my way in to you
He's pleading now, he has to get her to see his reasoning, they have to try; if they don't they'll never know what could have been and they will always have to live in the wake of 'what could have been'.
"We've worked together for five years Bones, and you have to admit, there's more than a little tension between us…" he pauses to smile, but getting nothing in return, his smile fades and he continues. "And you know, what Sweets said, it makes sense. None of us has really been in any serious relationships since we met and it might seem silly, but I always seemed to find myself comparing other people to um, you…"
"Really?" she looks up startled by his confession.
"Yeah really," he says looking over at her.
She turns her head back down and blushes slightly, "Um, me too."
"Yeah?" He questions with a look of dumbfoundment.
"Yeah."
Moments of silence later she begins to speak again, "Booth…"
Looking over, he replies, "Huh?"
Shifting her head to look her partner in the eyes, Brennan talks over her next action in her head.
Booth was right, Sweet's argument had been logical. Neither of them had been in any serious relationships since they became partners and they were continuously protective of one another though they weren't a couple. People they interviewed during cases even went as far to ask if they were a couple, and each time Booth and Brennan replied that they just worked together. The only difference between their relationship now and if they became a couple was that they would spend even more time together—if it's possible—they could kiss, and they could have sex; which she knows all of which would be highly satisfying. Still she can't bear to lose her best friend if their relationship goes awry; she needs him in her life. Rules, she can set down guidelines for if a breakup occurs; that way Booth will remain in her life no matter the outcome of their sexual relationship.
You know I'm gonna find a way to let you have yourway with me
You know I'm gonna find a time tocatch your hand and make you stay
I don't carewhat clothes you wear
It's time to love and Idon't care
You know I'm gonna find a way to letyou have your way with me
"I…" she hesitates; this is her last chance to back out her decision, a relationship outside of work. No, she tells herself, she is Temperance Brennan, and she does not go back on her word, she does not lie or make promises she knows she cannot keep. Ignoring her last bit of lingering doubt, she finishes her statement, "…I want to take a chance Booth, with, um, us…"
His eyes open wider and his mouth begins to hang open in surprise. Slightly not believing his partners words, he stutters in reply, "Wwha, re-really?"
"Yes, I do, but under two conditions," she answers her gaze turning serious. She takes in a breath preparing her next statement.
"Anything," he truthfully answers. He cannot believe his ears, he has to be dreaming. His partner, Temperance Brennan, just agreed to take a chance at 'them', to try to be in relationship together. Booth will do just about anything for a chance to let them be a couple; he cannot let them go back to being 'just partners' after what they have just admitted and being in an emotional—and undoubtedly sexual—relationship with his partner is something he's wanted for years, heck probably since the moment he met her. When he walked into that lecture hall six years before he knew, he knew, Dr. Temperance Brennan, his Bones, she was the one; she was the only one for him. Composing his face, Booth waits for his partner's reply.
Taking another breath Brennan answers. "One, promise me that if you ever feel that being in an emotional and sexual relationship with me is unsatisfactory you will tell me so that I can adjust my actions to better suit your desires or so that I may end our relationship."
Booth laughs slightly, internally. There she goes, he thinks, laying everything down on the table. He smiles at Brennan's response and replies, "I don't think that's going to happen Bones." He knows that whatever break up his partner foresees in their future is not going to happen, he can't prove it, but he knows them, and they can survive anything, serial killers, psychopaths, you name it. Either way, he will do absolutely everything in his power to make sure that they don't break up; he will be Bones' rock, the one constant in her life. He has to be, he won't be able to live with himself otherwise; he promised he would never leave her a few years ago and he will not break a promise to his partner. Again, he remains silent in anticipation for Brennan's second condition under which they can enter a relationship; her words, not his.
"That's not all," Brennan continues, "And you have to promise me that if we do cease our relationship, that we will continue to work together."
This was a no-brainer—yet another colloquialism his partner doesn't understand. He knows that if Bones does force them out of a relationship that it will definitely hurt, but his life without her in it looks far more painful, so her replies, "Okay. I promise Bones. I promise that I will tell you if I don't enjoy being with you", he cringes slightly, "and I promise that we can keep working together even if we break up."
A smile finally coming onto her face she answers, "Thank you."
"Like I said, I'll do anything for a shot at us Bones."
He was then caught off guard by Brennan's lips once again crashing into his. In his excitement, he had completely missed his partner's innocent smile transforming into a devilish grin. But, he had no room to complain. Bones was kissing him, she was finally kissing him! There was no alcohol mixed in, no puckish prosecutor and a promise of a family Christmas for Bones, and least of all, no feelings of desperation like twenty minutes earlier; only passion.
Brennan wrapped her arms around the back of his neck and pulled him close to her. Once the initial surprise of the kiss wore off, which didn't take long, his arms snaked around her body pulling her even closer to him. Their kiss became more heated until the need for air inevitably drove them apart.
While breathing heavily, Booth pulled back, but still held onto Brennan's arms. He was the first to speak, "Geez Bones, don't do that or we're really going to explore this new relationship between us and cross the line tonight," he motions with his hand between them and then replaces it on Brennan's arm. Kissing Bones was amazing, but if they kept kissing like that, there was no telling what was going to happen by morning. He wouldn't mind if he and Brennan did end up making love—he had dreamed about it since first meeting her 6 years before, but he, always the gentleman, didn't think that that was the greatest way to end their first night together; a gentleman never beds a women on the first date.
Grinning again evilly, Brennan began leaning in once more to restart their make-out session, clearly understanding Booth's phraseology for once. She whispered seductively, "What if I told you I didn't care about the metaphorical 'line'?"
That was the only encouragement Booth needed, but he still stopped himself from succumbing to her kiss. Taking what was left of his self-control, he stopped Brennan's advance for a moment, "Are you sure?" he asked.
Although her doubts of earlier were not completely forgotten, the desire to be with Booth fully, even if it was only once, was incredible; so Brennan figuratively shoved her apprehensions into the back of her mind to deal with later and answered, "If I wasn't sure I would not have agreed to having a personal relationship with you Booth."
Smiling in reply, Booth closed the short distance between he and his partner. He felt Brennan's tongue run over the edge of his bottom lip silently asking for entrance. Gladly obliging, he opened his mother slightly allowing her inside. Moaning into his partner's mouth, he pushed back for a second to breathlessly ask the question: "Mine or yours?" before resuming kissing her.
"Doesn't matter," Brennan replied out of breath as well after a moment.
Each of their sets of hands began roaming over the other's clothing after the decision of whose apartment they would go to was wordlessly settled. Minutes later Booth once again stopped their kissing to grab Brennan's hand and smile, asking the silent question, "Ready?"
Grinning in return, she wordlessly answered, "Yes."
Booth then began to jog towards the Hoover's parking structure, holding Brennan's hand between his fingers and pulling her with him.
When the neared the building they dethatched their hands from one another's, not wanting to risk altering anyone of the changes in their relationship of have to waste time explaining the changes. Climbing into Booth's SUV, they smiled knowingly and Booth reached over grabbing Brennan's hand, not letting go until they arrived at Booth's apartment above the liquor store. Shutting off the vehicle, they each opened their doors and hurried up the stairs to the best night of their lives.