For some reason, I'm fascinated by New Moon Chapter 3 "The End" – wherein Bella gets her silly ass even more lost in the woods after Edward drags her in there to dump her – because this makes for the second relevant one-shot.

I assure you, the madness stops here.

Bella Swan had been missing for at least six hours before I heard about it.

It was well past nine o'clock and I was pleased as hell that for once – for fucking once – I was going to get four consecutive hours of sleep. At night. It was the little things nowadays. Like wearing shoes – I liked shoes. Or watching TV. I didn't know what day of the week it was half the time. The news helped with that sometimes. What do you mean it's Wednesday? I could've sworn it was Saturday. Is it still September, at least? Good.

But as I was basking in my few hours of normalcy, the phone rang. Emily answered and held it to her ear but quickly handed it to me. "It's Billy," she said.

I took the receiver and braced myself, "Billy?"

"Sam, we need your help. Charlie's daughter's gone missing and the Cullens are nowhere to be found."

"Are you shitting me? You can't find any of them?"

"Wish I was, son. There isn't any indication of a struggle, but we don't know if they left her behind or if she's around somewhere. Charlie's about to put some buckshot in someone's ass, so I'd really appreciate if you and the boys could come help us out."

"All right, all right," I grumbled as I stood, placing a kiss on the top of Em's head. "I'm coming. Where are we looking?"

"Anywhere between the reservation, the Cullens property and the Swan's place. The Cullens are gone, don't worry about being phased on their land."

I hung up the phone and did a lot of inner mental bitching as I took my shirt and shoes off. "What's going on now?" Emily asked as she folded the clothes left in my wake. Hell knows why that girl put up with me. Everyday I expected to wake up and find a note on the counter telling me she'd lit off for bigger and better things and a small part of me wishes she would.

"Bella Swan's gone missing and the Cullens have picked up and left."

"That's not too much of a coincidence," she muttered.

I offered a single bitter laugh. "You're telling me… I don't know when I'll be back. If Paul shows up at midnight after his patrol give him something to eat for me? His dad's been a hardass about him being missing all the time. He could use some good food."

"Of course," she offered a half grin. Always a half grin. Because I tore half her face off once. Fun fucking fact. Another part of me hated myself for even wishing that she'd pick up and leave because another part of me realized she probably only stayed in this house all the time because the way she looked – the way I made her look – horrified people.

There were lots of parts of me, saying lots of different things and I was really surprised that they all hadn't gotten together and just torn me apart into tiny fucked up pieces from the inside yet. Like a gory-as-hell Sam Uley pinata. Jared and Paul would've got a kick out of that. Well, it was only a matter of time, I guess.

I crossed the street and once under the cover of trees, I phased. I let the new and unpracticed Alpha influence roll off me. I didn't know where the hell Jared was right now. I hadn't cared until about five minutes ago. And instead of running all over the reservation like a jackass looking for him, I'd just as soon give his human a good ol' Alpha order and deal with the migraine it would give me later.

Maybe I should start keeping track of these two? I mean, it was Jared and Paul. There probably was – realistically – a grand total of three places either of them would ever usually be at any given time. But considering they were my responsibility now – my pups – I guess it made sense that I should have a general idea of where they were. Especially Paul. That kid needed watching.

God, I sucked at this… It was hard to decide if I liked it better alone – when I only had to be responsible for myself – because God only knows that's enough of a handful or if it was better having these two around to periodically remind myself that I wasn't totally batshit insane. Insane? Nope, not so much. Even if I was, though, that probably would have been the least of my problems.

Sam, what the fuck are you doing out here? I thought you were "sleeping".

Jared phased into the collective consciousness before I could respond to Paul.

Christ, Sam. That was my head... I was dead asleep! And then I woke up naked in my yard. My mom thinks I'm on enough drugs, do you have to Alpha whammy me in my sleep?

Bella Swan's gone missing and the Cullens are nowhere to be found. Paul, check the Line. Jared, I want you to head out from the Line towards the Cullen's place.

But… isn't that a breach of the Treaty?

Not if they're not here. It's not theirs anymore.

Ten-four, dear high leader.

There then ensued a higher attention to what was being smelled. Jared was humming incessantly and Paul was so exhausted he wasn't even thinking concretely – just leaking his usual pent-up aggression and sarcasm vibes. Yeah, I definitely needed to keep a closer eye on that kid.

I heard that.

Bella was nowhere between the treaty line and the Cullen property which lay just outside Forks proper. Jared hadn't even caught her scent. Hopefully that meant she was somewhere between me and her own house. I was upwind of the Swan place, so I couldn't smell anything I hadn't already walked by until I was on top of it.

I had come close to giving up and was thinking about doubling back to the line and trying somewhere we hadn't looked, when – not even a half mile from Charlie's back yard – I caught a scent. I was close enough to Charlie's house that I could see it. And in daylight, a human probably could too, or at least discern the lightness that came with impending civilization.

The smell was definitely a girl.

I stilled myself and listened for movement. Sure, Bella knew about the vampires – Billy had made that much clear – but I wasn't letting her in on La Push's secret if I could help it. There was no sound and while I couldn't confirm that the scent was Bella's, it was vaguely familiar. I'd only met her that one time on the beach. That day I'd told her that Cullens didn't come to La Push and Jacob Black had inadvertently let loose all the tribe's secrets. If that kid ever phased, he was getting a big swift kick to the ass.

I stepped through the low-lying shrubbery. And there was a small, brown-haired girl curled up into the tightest friggin' fetal ball I'd ever seen.

I found her, guys. Feel free to head home. Em's got food on if you want.

I didn't wait for any replies. I phased human and pulled on my shorts – only now realizing that my possibly coming half-clothed out of the woods with the Chief of Police's kid might not have been the best idea in the world. Hopefully, he'd be too preoccupied with her to notice me.

"Bella."

Her eyes snapped up to meet mine and she looked manic. She was pale as hell – unhealthy pale, not just white girl pale. And her breathing was all screwy, like she inhaling through rusty pipes that rattled in her body. "Have you been hurt?"

She only mumbled in reply. I don't even think she realized she was talking. "He's gone…" she mumbled, staring into the distance. "He left… he left me…"

Then the pace of her breathing quickened, but I could also here her inhales grow shallow and her heart's beating became erratic.

"Bella," I crouched down in front of her. "My name is Sam Uley. Charlie sent me to look for you."

She was quiet for a moment before the rackety breathing started again.

"Bella, you're going to be okay. Everything's fine." She was having a panic attack. Seth used to have them all the time in junior high. I was around him so much, that I eventually learned how help him – just like the rest of his family did. I discovered through simple power of observation that, so far, high school was a lot better to the boy than junior high had been. He'd been fine for months. I missed that kid.

"Bella, look at me." Alpha orders didn't technically work on non-Pack humans, but the assertive nature of the tone of voice helped, I guess. Her eyes snapped to meet mine but it didn't look like she was actually seeing much. I wondered if she remembered what happened. If she'd remember any of this.

"Bella, can you do me a favor? I need you take a deep breath." She tried and didn't work out so hot. "From your diaphragm Bella," I reached down and indicated her abdomen. I didn't think until later that she might not have been comfortable with having some strange man touch her so casually while she was stranded alone in the woods. I forgot how kinesthetic the wolves were. We relied so heavily on touch and that was fine amongst the Pack, but to outsiders we might've been a little too touchy feely.

But I felt her stomach expand underneath my hand. "Breathe in and count to five… hold it there for two… Now out and count to five."

She did follow instructions pretty well. She made to stand and I let her go. "You're really hot," she commented absently.

"Thank you," I couldn't help the grin. I knew what she meant, but still…

"I didn't mean it like that… I meant," and then she poked me in the forearm, "temperature."

And then she collapsed.

In the broad scheme of things – as long as she was just passed out from exhaustion or something not life-threatening – it was a lot easier for me to carry her the half mile back to her property and her father than for me to direct the way and follow her. If the torn up foliage I stepped through on the way back was any indication, the girl was not very graceful.

"I've got her!" I called as I emerged out of the woods. There were a lot of people gasping and asking - mostly about her welfare, I'm sure - but it was hard to separate the voices. Then Charlie emerged from the masses. "I don't think she's hurt. She just keeps saying 'He's gone.'"

Charlie stumbled forward to take his daughter and it's not that I doubted the man's capabilities but I'm pretty sure he was either going to drop her, or smash either her head or her feet into the door frame on the way into the house.

"Maybe I should hold onto her?" I leaned a little, anticipating catching Charlie the way I had Bella when she passed out less than ten minutes ago. The Swan's needed some stamina.

"I've got her," he said gruffly.

I held the door for the guy. It was the least I could do. Paul and Jared were already there - obviously electing to watch the action unfold first hand instead of going to get some sleep or food - and they both just looked at me with matching expressions of confusion. What the fuck, indeed. I found the girl. Answers weren't exactly sewn into her jacket with her name.

I joined them and we proceeded to stare at Bella. Whoever accused me of not having any finesse was probably right. I was better than Jared though, and if I could stay above those standards that was fine by me.

The girl was a mess. She was soaked to the bone for the rain and was clammy and shaking. At least my ambient temperature had done a bit ward that off on the walk home. Her eyes were wide and staring – she looked like a fucking cartoon character, just way more morbid. She kept trying to curl up. I don't think she even noticed she was doing it – it looked like a reflex reaction, she just kept balling up like one of those fuzzy caterpillars.

"So Dr. Cullen and his family are really gone?" I heard Reverend Weber ask quietly from the behind us.

"Yeah," some shrimpy blond kid nodded. "Chief Swan called the hospital earlier and got Dr. Gerandy. Apparently they all left this afternoon."

Eventually, it was decided Bella was fine. And that's when I dragged Paul and Jared away from the circus exhibit by the scruffs of their necks. Well, not literally. Okay, almost.

"Did you see her?" Jared spoke. "She's a friggin' mess. What happened to her? Cullen can't have just left her there in the woods. There had to be something else to do that to her. Did he… did he do something to her?" his face contorted with disgust and he shook slightly with the implication.

"No," I reached up and put a hand on his shoulder, letting the contact calm his wolf. Jared was doing a pretty good job with his control. "It was just her. I couldn't smell anyone or anything else. No blood, no others, nothing. I would've smelled that. She was fine… she just…"

"Fucking lost it?" Paul offered. "How overplayed is that? I mean people get fucking dumped all the time but who flips the fuck out like that? Maybe it's a chick thing, but if some girl dumped me I wouldn't freak the fuck out to the point of getting myself killed. That's fucking retarded. She's lucky we were out there. It coulda been days before Forks PD found her."

"Yeah, because you have no idea what it's like to get dumped, right Paul?" Jared snorted.

"Hate the player not the game, Cameron. Life's easier when you don't get tangled up in a chick."

I shook my head in annoyance but glad conversation had moved down a different path. When we made it back to the Line we paused. "But the Cullens are gone," I grinned. "Know what that means?"

"Time for a kick ass party!"

Nothing earth-shattering. Earth-shattering Sam has to wait in line. He's behind Embry.