Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own Naruto, or the Akatsuki. If I did, Ha, you don't wanna know.

Enjoy!

~*~ Flashback~*~

"Hidan, you need to vent your anger in other ways rather than constantly trying to kill Kakuzu." Pein said as he rubbed his forehead as if trying to fend off a headache.

"So what the fuck do you want me to do about it?" I asked putting my scythe in my other hand.

Leader-sama handed me a small black book with a lock on it. I looked up at him. Apparently he could see my look of confusion.

"You're giving me a fucking diary? Aren't chicks like Konan supposed to use these… things?" I asked, throwing the book up in the air and swiping it with my scythe. Success. The diary was now stuck on my scythe. I pushed it towards Leader-sama, hoping he would take it back.

"Hidan, it's a journal. I would like for you to write in it at least once every day until you no longer have enough rage to want to kill every Akatsuki member there is. Understood?" He said bluntly and handed me another black journal.

'Fuck.'

~*~ End Flashback~*~

Day 1: Monday.
Dear fucking diary,

What the fuck do I write in this thing? I should have just sacrificed it to Jashin-sama. If you're reading this and your name is Deidara, Zetsu, Tobi, Itachi, Kisame, Konan, Kakuzu or Sasori I'll kill you bastards. You too Pein, even though you're the retard that made me take this Jashin dammed journal to 'vent anger' because I have 'anger management issues'. Well fuck you. I suppose I can at least try to write in this every day. This is my entry for today. Want me to write more? Well you're a book so fuck you.

Day 2: Tuesday.

Dear fucking diary,

Today Leader-sama called us all down to his office bright and early to discuss our upcoming missions. Konan-chan is too pretty according to Pein to do any missions, Itachi and Kisame were already out on a mission, Deidara and the Ginger-Pinocchio didn't show up, and Zetsu threatened to eat Konan if Leader-sama made him go on another mission. After hours of arguing, Leader-sama sent me and Kaku-jii on our mission.

We're supposed to go and kill a guy named Adrian Something for calling Konan a fat-bitch. The guy shoulda known not to say shit like that about Pein's chick when she's with him. Me and Kaku-jii left around 3 after the meeting was over. Zetsu was supposed to come along and eat the body after we were done but he refused.

After a few hours of walking, and a few more hours of Kaku-jii complaining about his fat old knees or something, we found the guy. He attempted to attack me, but he was weak fucking retarded, and ended up tripping. I got him pinned and called out to Kaku-jii to hold him down while I sliced his throat but instead, he decided to rummage through the guys' pockets for a wallet. After finding it he decided to take a few more minutes to count all the fucking money. I screamed at him and told him to do it later. He just sat on his flabby old ass and continued counting the money. It didn't take me long to break the legs of the guy underneath me anyways. By the time I was finished my ritual for Jashin-sama, Kaku-jii was still on the ground cuddled up with the wallet, sleeping. I kicked him awake and we went to stay at a hot springs for the night.


Day 3: Wednesday.
Dear fucking diary,

It took a long ass time to get home, but here I am. Only I'm not in my room.

After getting home late this afternoon, I went to my room and saw Tobi sleeping on the floor in front my doorframe. After kicking him awake he giggled and ran off singing something about a unicorn. I opened up my door and nearly shit. Instead of being a shrine for Jashin-sama, there was a shrine for said unicorn, who apparently was named Polly, my wall was covered in some sparkly, pink crap and there was a bottle of something light pink that smelled like cotton candy. I fucking refuse to go back in that room. It's fucking gross. I'll just sleep on the couch tonight.

Day 4: Thursday.
Dear fucking diary,

I was woken up this morning when the blue-haired whore threw one of her shoes at me. I shot back at her that she shouldn't take out her time-of-the-month rage on someone else, which made her once again, throw something at my fucking head.

The rest of the day was fairly uneventful. Kisame and Itachi got back from their mission, Deidara and Sasori were thinking of ways for Pein to let them have some time off to get married, Kaku-jii went to the bank, Konan sat in her room all day and Leader-sama went out to get some piercing called a Prince Albert. I don't even wanna know what the fuck that is.

So I sat around and watched some T.V., polished my scythe, prayed, and attempted to restore my room to the way it originally was. Most of it's gone, but the walls are still kinda shimmery and it smells a little bit like cotton candy. I asked Leader-sama if I could kill Tobi, but he said there was something important about him. I really don't see the need of a lollipop/pumpkin thing in our organization.

Day 5: Friday.

Dear fucking diary,

Does anyone realize how difficult it is writing by moonlight in a fucking cave? No? Well I do! I'm freezing my balls off over here while Kaku-jii is so fat he's practically insulated from the cold. Leader-sama gave us a mission that I didn't even know about until this morning.

It all pretty much started when Kaku-jii woke me up at the fucking crack of dawn this morning and dragged me out of the house. Oh fucking joy.

Our mission was pretty simple this time. Kill another guy, burn down his house, and take all his valuables. The only problem this time was that we were known and wanted criminals of this Country. So we had to stay in this fucking cave rather than at a hot springs or a hotel. So here I am.

Day 6: Saturday.
Dear fucking diary,

As soon as I woke up I realized I was moving, and whoever or whatever was carrying me smelled like band aids and piss. I realized after a few seconds it was Kaku-jii. He said something about me being too heavy of a sleeper to wake up, I didn't hear much of what he was saying because I was throwing a hissy-fit trying to get off of him. I reached around to grab my scythe and everything, but he was smart and took it away beforehand.

He eventually let me down and we eventually got home. Just in time to see Konan cooking, the ginger and his boy toy begging Leader-sama to let them get married and Itachi and Kisame playing Halo. I have no clue how the hell they play it. It's all confusing and everyone looks like space Nazis. After eating the shit that Konan called dinner, I went to my room. Once again I saw Tobi lying down on the ground. I just poked at him with my scythe this time. He only slightly moved so I stepped over him and went into my room.

After lying in my bed for a while I started to feel like someone was watching me. Eventually I just went and had a shower before going to bed.

Day 7: Sunday.
Dear fucking diary,

After waking up I once again felt like someone was fucking watching me. A stalker perhaps?

After breakfast Leader-sama wanted to know if any of us had seen Zetsu. The first thing to obviously pop into my mind was that he was the sick bastard who I suspected of stalking me. But seriously, that's pretty fucking weird so I once again denied it.

Later on Pein took Konan out on a date, so Deidara and Sasori took up the opportunity and went to go file a marriage application. I have no clue where Weasel and Shark-Boy are but it sure as hell didn't concern me. Kaku-jii was out at the bank, again, so I decided to have a Hidan day.

I thought today would be good, but fucking Zetsu just had to show up. Since I was downstairs I just decided to let him have the bottom floor of the house and I'd have my Hidan day upstairs. It only further creeped me the fuck out when his black half called out to me and asked me to stay. I decided to ignore him and lock myself in my room for the rest of the day. What if he eats me?

I was writing this forever, I just had no clue where to go with it, so review! And tell me what you think =D

Ja Ne!