Linkara struggled to wake. A throbbing pain at his temples had him squinting against the light. The bed on which he lay was unfamiliar, the mattress sinfully soft and covered in silk sheets. The wall across the way was nearly overtaken by a print of pastel flowers, and Linkara knew he was in a hotel room from that alone.

Memories came in fits and starts. Insano. A fight, nothing major, just the normal thrown down on a rooftop. The scientist had been playing with lasers again. Linkara hadn't paid much attention to the hows and whys of his enemy's plan, though as always Insano had been all too willing to share. It had been a long, hard week, and Linkara had just wanted to hurry things along so he get home and crash.

So Insano. Lasers. A flash and that shrill, familiar laugh...

Linkara groaned and thumped himself on the forehead with a closed fist. He couldn't believe he'd let the scientist get the drop on him. He took quick stock, but it didn't feel like the blast had done any lasting physical damage.

But it had felt like a brick to the head at first, slamming him down on his back and leaving him dazed. Things got hazy after that, the world drifting by as Insano hefted him over a shoulder and carted him off.

The scientist could have easily killed him, taken revenge for stolen robots and foiled plans. Instead he'd brought him here, to this room in what appeared to be a rather upscale hotel. Had thrown him on the bed, his bluster gone as he pressed against Linkara with frantic strength...

Crap.

Linkara pushed himself up on his elbows and stared down the length of his own body. He looked a little rumbled, but everything that was meant to be covered still was. His hat was even still on his head, though it sat at a cockeyed angle that he imagined gave him a rakish air.

He let his head fall back and breathed out a sigh of relief, felling his racing heart start to calm. It didn't seem like Insano had taken things any further after Linkara passed out.

He was drifting on the edge of sleep when he heard a whimper. It had him jolting up again, too quickly, biting back a cry of his own when the pain in his head spiked to a new level.

Spoony.

His friend sat huddled in the corner, face pressed against his knees, rocking himself like a child. What little Linkara could see of his face was blotchy with tears.

Linkara rolled off the bed and promptly stumbled hard against the wall. Fine tremors chased up and down his legs, and a surge of nausea flooded his mouth with thick saliva. He swallowed hard and made his way over to the corner, grimacing at the way his sticky pants clung to his groin.

He wasn't stupid. He'd known this was coming, had long suspected that Insano's games were the mad scientist equivalent of a boy brandishing a live frog in his crush's face. He'd just never thought that it would happen quite like this.

Still, it could have been so much worse. Once Insano had captured Linkara he hadn't seemed to know just what to do with him. Being dry humped wasn't Linkara's idea of a good time, but the way Insano had set about it with his usual bumbling enthusiasm had been almost...endearing.

There had been something vulnerable about the way Insano hide his face against Linkara's shoulder while he shuddered and groaned. He'd even brushed his fingers across Linkara's cheek when he withdrew, thumb rubbing over his lips in a way that wanted to be gentle. In the end it left Linkara feeling more confused than angry, whatever violation he felt overtaken by a vague sadness.

Spoony was clearly taking things a little harder.

It must have been terrible, coming back to himself in a room that smelled of sweat and sex, with no way of knowing how far things had gone or who had been hurt getting there.

"Hey." Linkara crouched down at his friend's side, moving slowly and keeping his hands open and visible. The last thing Spoony needed right now was to feel threatened. "Just me, okay?"

Despite his care Spoony jerked back when he was touched, cracking his head against the wall with a force that made them both wince. His eyes were bloodshot, rolling in their sockets and dilating hugely as he tried to focus.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, and hell, his voice was a wreck. It sounded like he'd screamed himself hoarse, and just how long had Linkara been sleeping for anyway? The sunlight streaming in through the bay window suggested at least a full night had passed, but for all Linkara knew he could have been lying in that bed for days.

"Knock it off. Not your fault."

It was what he always said, and as always Spoony refused the comfort, ducking his head again when Linkara tried to look him in the eye.

"I gave in," he said in that dry, throaty growl. "He just...he wouldn't stop, and I was...I was tired. Weak."

"You're the strongest person I know," Linkara said, and he meant it. Spoony had been locked in battle his entire life with a personality that would have swallowed whole a lesser man. That he sometimes faltered only helped to remind Linkara that under his friend's smile waged a bitter war.

They sat together silence for a short time. Spoony needed time to collect himself, and Linkara was in no hurry. He hummed to himself while he waited, realizing only when Spoony snorted that it was the tune to that insipid Final Fantasy song.

"Sorry," he mumbled, "Thing sticks in your head."

That got a rough laugh. Spoony uncurled himself a little and cracked his neck with a violent twist. "Only if you're a pussy," he said.

"Hilarious. Ready to get cleaned up?"

When Spoony nodded Linkara stood and pulled the other man up with him. They lurched across the room, leaning against each other like drunkards.

At least Insano had the courtesy to rent them someplace decent. Everything in the bathroom sparkled with chrome, and the tub was sunken and deep. Linkara sat Spoony down on the toilet and ran the water, fussing with it until it reached a gentle heat.

Neither of them was in any shape to stand in a slippery shower. Linkara dampened a washcloth while he waited for the tub to fill and used it to wipe the tears from Spoony's flushed cheeks. The other man leaned into the touch, eyes fluttering shut in long, lazy blinks as he fought his exhaustion. He always crashed hard after a visit from Insano, the adrenaline surge giving way to a worrisome meekness.

"Sorry," he told Linkara again, and now it was a cracked whisper. His head fell forward, nestling against Linkara's chest. "I really did try."

"I know."

Linkara let him rest there for a moment, rubbing idle circles across the tense back. He felt Spoony shift, his shoulder flexing repetitively as he did something with his hand. Curious, Linkara pulled back and looked down, frowning when he realized Spoony was scratching at his crotch, grinding the stiff denim against his own flesh.

"Whoa, hey, stop that." Linkara didn't like the way Spoony blinked at him in confusion, as if he didn't even realize what he'd been doing. "You're hurting yourself."

He caught Spoony's hand in his own. The blunt nails had been ground down to the quick and blood slicked his fingertips. "How long was I out?" Linkara demanded.

Spoony tugged against the hold until Linkara relented and let go. "I don't know," he said with a shrug, "I think it's around noon? Ish?"

At least twelve hours then.

"And you've been doing that the whole time?"

"I hurt you," Spoony said, as if it were that simple, as if that somehow justified inflicting pain on himself in return. As much as Linkara admired his friend, there were times it took all his willpower to keep from smacking Spoony upside his fool head.

"Insano hurt me," Linkara corrected, "Heck, I wouldn't even say hurt. More...took liberties. Here, stand up."

The tub was ready, the steam rising up in slow whorls. Linkara helped Spoony strip off his shirt but left him to deal with his jeans on his own. He'd learned over time that Spoony needed to feel in control after Insano came calling, even if it meant watching him fumble to tug down his fly with bloody fingers.

"Boxers too," Linkara said, and Spoony didn't even balk before obeying. They'd dressed each other's wounds so often that any embarrassment had long since faded. Hell, Spoony had nursed Linkara through a particularity nasty bout of stomach flu only a few weeks back, cleaning out his emergency bucket with a nobly restrained amount of bitching.

Linkara hissed through his teeth when the raw, irritated skin of Spoony's groin was revealed. "Fuck," he said, "You're an idiot, you know that?"

"You cursed," Spoony said, and he sounded delighted.

"Yeah, well, I think this calls for it." It looked like he'd jerked himself off with sandpaper. Linkara shifted in sympathy, clucking his tongue like his mother had done when he came to her with a skinned knee.

Spoony finally looked down at himself and blanched white. "Oh, shit. Shit, dude, I rug burned my cock. I swear, it didn't hurt. Before, I mean."

One look at his face told Linkara it was most certainly hurting now. "You think it looks bad now, wait until it scabs over," he told him, "We should probably get some ice on that."

He ushered Spoony into the tub and sat on the edge while the other man washed up. He wasn't surprised when halfway through the process his friend started to fade, his head rolling loose on his shoulders as sleep started to overtake him.

Linkara kept an eye on him to make sure he didn't face plant and drown while he fetched a cup from the sink. "Lean forward," he urged.

Spoony's hair was matted down, the dark locks grimy with sweat. Linkara took his time washing it, smirking a little at his friend's small mumbles of pleasure when Linkara massaged his scalp.

"Alright, you're pretty again," Linkara said when he was finished, "Let's get you up. Easy, watch your step..."

Spoony was almost dead weight. Linkara drug him into the living room and dropped him on an overstuffed chair by the window. Spoony was still bouncing on the cushions when he turned to curl on his side, breathing out a shuddering sigh as he finally, finally started to relax.

Linkara searched the closet and came up with a spare blanket. He threw it over his friend, tapping his shoulder until Spoony grumbled and opened one blue eye to pin him with a glare.

"What?"

"Take a nap," Linkara suggested, and grinned when Spoony spat out a vicious curse, "I'll be back in a few. Be right in the other room, okay?"

Linkara rushed through his own bath. He felt better for being clean, though it would have been nice to have a change of clothes. He called down to the front desk to find out how long the room had been booked for (a full week, which struck him as rather kind of Insano even if Linkara didn't intend to make use of it) and to request room service in the form of ice, scrambled eggs, and a healthy dose of ibuprofen.

The girl who came to the door didn't seem overly surprised to find him in wrapped in a hotel robe at midday. It took some coaxing to get Spoony to wake long enough to eat a few bites of eggs and swallow the pills. He didn't even flinch when Linkara settled a bag of ice on his groin.

The transformation process was always painful and draining, but this level of exhaustion worried Linkara. He supposed that stewing in guilt for half a day was enough to make anyone crumble.

He used the extra blanket and some pillows to make a kind of nest on the bed. He wouldn't have minded using the bed, but he had a strong feeling Spoony very much would, even if it wasn't even stained.

"Okay, man, here we go...help me out here. Yeah, I know, moving sucks. Don't worry, you can go right back to sleep."

He got Spoony settled on his back and crawled in beside him, taking care to leave a healthy distance between them.

So of course Spoony immediately rolled onto his side and curled up close, rubbing his face against Linkara's shoulder and throwing an arm over his chest. He mumbled something too slurred to make sense of, but Linkara didn't have to be a genius like Insano to guess what he saying.

"Stop apologizing," he ordered, wiggling to shift them both into a more comfortable position. "Insano isn't your fault anymore than Mechakara is mine."

Spoony huffed a laugh at that. He was waking up a little, but didn't seem much inclined to move away. Of the two of them Spoony was more prone to macho posturing, but Linkara figured right now he needed the comfort too much to care.

"Anyway, I don't think he wanted to hurt me. He was...I think he's lonely."

"He is," Spoony said through a yawn, "He wants a friend. I guess he doesn't understand that zapping someone and going to town isn't the best way to accomplish that."

Linkara didn't really have a reply to that. Not that he was happy with the situation, but in his mind Spoony was the one who had gotten the raw end of the deal. Insano hadn't even stuck around to handle the fallout.

Spoony snuggled in a little closer, and Linkara blinked his own tired eyes. He was floating close to sleep when he felt Spoony heave a great sigh against him.

"This isn't how I wanted it," he whispered against Linkara's shoulder.

It took a few seconds for the words to penetrate, but when they did Linkara jolted up. Spoony tumbled back with a squawk, pushing his damp hair out of his eyes.

"What the hell, Linkara?"

"What did you just say?"

Spoony froze with his hands still raised. "Um...nothing?"

"No, you..." Linkara had to stop to gather himself, feeling just as stunned as when the laser struck his unprotected back. "If you didn't want it that way, that means you did want it some other way."

It wasn't like Linkara had never considered the idea. It would have been impossible not to with all those battles fought side by side, the long nights slouched close on the couch, laughing at bad comics and tragic movies. There was no one he trusted more, even with the whole Insano issue.

The only reason he'd never made a move was because he didn't want to risk the only stable thing in both their lives. Spoony was too vulnerable, too likely to go along with something that made him uncomfortable just to keep Linkara happy.

So Linkara had buried his desire, telling himself to be content with what Spoony was willing to give. Spoony had never even hinted that he saw Linkara as more than a friend, and on some level Linkara had just assumed the other man didn't find him attractive.

And really, who could blame him? Linkara knew he was getting a bit flabby around the middle despite all the hustle and bustle of saving the world. He was pasty, and he had that stupid lisp that made the fan girls giggle...

He was torn from his spiraling thoughts by Spoony's increasingly desperate attempts to draw a full breath.

"Calm down!" Linkara barked, "Don't you dare have a panic attack. I'm not angry, just...surprised. Did you want it, Spoony?"

He could have been more sympathetic, but Linkara needed the answer too badly to be patient. Spoony sucked in a noisy breath and shook his head until his hair flopped with the motion. "Not that. Not by...not by force. Not Insano. I knew you couldn't...wouldn't...I'm sorry, Linkara!"

He was panting now, clawing at his chest in some vague attempt to relieve the growing pressure. Linkara drew him close, catching his face between his hands and forcing him to focus.

"Calm down," he said again, but gently, "Breathe with me. In. Out. Good, again. In..."

When the attack released its grip Spoony slumped forward, trusting in Linkara to support him. Fresh tears streaked his cheeks and Linkara wiped them away with his thumb, bending to press their foreheads together.

"Look at me."

Spoony did, but with the flinching hesitation of someone waiting to be punished. Linkara looked at him, this man who was so much braver than he believed himself to be, and felt his heart twist.

The kiss was clumsy and dry, a chaste press of the lips. Spoony made a small noise of surprise in the back of his throat and opened for it, and it didn't stay chaste for long.

"Is that more like what you wanted?" Linkara asked.