Tite Kubo is the creator and owner of the series Bleach. I don't own any part of the Bleach franchise, nor do I make any money from writing fan fics about Bleach.
I had been wanting to do a sequel to 'Corn Flakes' I actually had two ideas; one being another one shot the other being a chapter fic centering around Ulquiorra (p.s. I love saying his name out loud! I just like how it rolls off the tongue. e.e lol) and his love interest Keigo. Both stories purely crack like the first story. Here I present to you the one shot.
Oh! I almost forgot the disclaimer! I don't own Bleach nor do I own any of it's characters. Expect foul language, sexual themes, suggestive language, and all around general vulgarity! All the good stuff! Oh and yes this is yaoi but nothing too explicit.
Barbeque Chicken After Midnight
Grimmjow was bored (as usual). He paced the halls. Ulquiorra hadn't been much fun since he got his little boy toy. Actually he noticed a general improvement in the fourth's overall personality, but with that came an aggressively possessive side. Too bad for Szayel whom had taken and instant shine to the cute teen. He had his hand bitten when he tried to touch Keigo. Yes that was no mistake. Ulquiorra bit his hand!
What's worse Szayel had become a pest and a real pain in Grimm's ass since he learned just where the boy originated from. Actually here he comes right this moment, "Hey Grimmjow Next time you sneak off bring back some cute little thing for me would you?" Grimm rolled his eyes and ignored the question. He wasn't planning on sneaking off again so soon since the punishment he had had to endure the last time.
Aizen made him clean every bathroom in all of Los Noches with a tooth brush. He used Tousen's. Grimm wondered if the blind soul reaper had noticed. He shook his head with an evil grin on his face. He shoved Sazyel against the nearest wall and put his hand through the annoying espada's ribcage. And left him a bloody mess.
He finally couldn't take it anymore. He went to his room and washed off Szayel's blood. He sat on his bed thinking of anything that would kill his boredom. He kind of wished he'd brought back a pet to entertain him, of course He didn't understand what Ulqui saw in the annoying teen. Once Keigo got over his fear he became a spastic hyper idiot (He always was one they just hadn't realized).
For some strange reason Ulquiorra embraced this hyper side. Grimm caught him chuckling at his little pet's foolish antics. He really had changed! Grimmjow wondered if there were anymore cute little weaklings that hung around Ichigo? He also wondered when or even if Ichigo was planning to come rescue his little friend. Well Grimm would not mind losing the little freak, but Ulquiorra would go ballistic…actually that might be fun to watch. Grimm chuckled to himself. He wondered if Ulquiorra was out on a mission for Aizen.
That's another thing! He had noticed that Aizen hadn't given his little favorite a punishment for following him. It really burned his backside. He thought it might be time to do something (nice? Well not really). He was going to 'rescue' little Keigo and return him to his friend. Then let's see just what our friend Ulquiorra might do. Grimm decided to check Ulquiorra's domain for his presence. He was conveniently gone but Grimmjow was not certain weather he had taken that little insect Keigo with him.
Grimm sniffed around the reformed emo's quarters. He sensed a very weak presence. He chuckled it was even too weak to be a fraccion. He forced his way in the door making lots of noise. The barely covered teen with brown hair wasn't disturbed as he snored softly.
Keigo didn't stir. Grimm chuckled. He had to admit the boy was a nice looking piece of ass. Keigo shifted and the bed sheet that covered his thin frame slid to the floor. He had turned away from the blue haired arrancar showing off his cute posterior. Grimm rubbed his nose almost expecting to bring blood from there, but he was dry. His mouth parted in a predatory smirk. He stalked up to the boy. Where were all of Ulquiorra's little fraccion? Oh well he didn't care he'd have devoured them if they resisted.
Grimm scooped the boy up wrapping him in the sheet he'd picked up from the floor. He made a gargantua and stepped through. It was dark in the Kurosaki house. The occupants were all fast asleep. Grimm appeared in that same clean white kitchen. He chuckled at the memory of just what condition he had left it in the last time.
He strode over to the living room. He wished he could stick around for a bit and watch some soaps, but he was in enough trouble already. He'd probably have to trim Tousen's and Gin's toenails for this, or worse…This one time Aizen made him give Nnotria a sponge bath. Just the thought made the insane man cringe.
Grim decided to peek in the fridge to see if there was something good to eat. He pulled a carton of milk out of the fridge. He opened it and took a big swig. His face turned green and he wretched into the sink. He looked at the carton, "Soy Milk?" He discarded the carton in the sink and went back to the fridge, "There had better be something good in here or I'm leveling the whole damn house this time." Grimm found a covered dish. He pulled off the lid. Whatever it was it smelled sweet and spicy. He took a drumstick out. Red sauce dripped off it. He took a bite of the chicken leg, "Mmmm. That's good."
"What the hell do you think you are doing in our house?" Grimm heard one person speaking with two voices. He turned to see a vizored with orange spiky hair sticking up behind his mask. He held his sword in front of him menacingly. Grim opened his mouth, which was full of food, and spoke, "I bwat yoo fwend bock."
"Huh?" Ichigo responded in confusion.
Grimm swallowed, "That idiot with the brown hair. Frankly he was driving most of us bat shit crazy."
Grimm looked at the clock on the microwave, "Crap! I gotta go, see ya round strawberry!" With that said Grimmjow opened a portal and stepped through it taking the dish of chicken with him. Ichigo removed his mask. He scratched his head in confusion.
A moaning sound came from the living room. Ichigo ran toward the noise. There he found his friend stirring from sleep.
Keigo opened his soft brown eyes and looked up at Ichigo. He yawned and stretched, "Haaaaa, Ich is that you? You're back early aren't you?" He sat up not realizing he was wearing nothing but a thin silk bed sheet (Ulquiorra likes the feel of silken bed sheets! So? You got a problem with that?)
The sheet left little to the imagination. Ichigo felt his nose itch he scratched it and brought back bloody fingers.
"Man I had the strangest dream." Keigo tried to stand but he grimaced as he felt a twinge of pain shoot up his spine, "And my butt really hurts."
Ichigo nearly fainted when the bed sheet slipped to the floor (Keigo you gotta stop doing that man). Ichigo grabbed the boy, who protested loudly, he bolted for his room and locked the door behind him.
Later that morning the rest of the house was up and getting ready for their day. Ichigo stepped out of the shower and wrapped himself and his scowling friend in fluffy white towels. He tweaked Keigo's cute little nose, "I never realized how adorable you really are Kei." He smirked down at his new (if somewhat reluctant) lover. Keigo sighed and followed Ichigo into his bedroom. Ichigo had a lot of explaining to do.