AN:

Hello there, readers~ :3 I just wanted to say that this isn't really a serious story about Hetalia! at all. This is just something I'm doing for fun with my friend Cassi since we love the anime. I do NOT own Hetalia! Axis Powers. Just putting that out there xD This is sort of like a 'crack'-type story I guess, but oh well. I enjoyed co-writing it! Hopefully this is as humorous as I attempted to make it! Enjoy, and let me know what you think!

P.S. If you find any mispellings, let me know! I'm always trying to improve my writing and proofread; however, sometimes things slip through the cracks!
P.P.S. Even if you dislike my story, I'll probably still keep writing it, seeing as though this is just for fun :)

Sincerely,
Whitney

"CHIGIII!" The scream echoed throughout our small living room and alerted everyone to the coming presence, even though we had no idea who had disconcerted him.

"Oh no…" I looked around the room hastily, noting that Doitsu (otherwise known as Germany) was standing very macho-ly with his arms crossed next to the couch, as Greece was laying stretched out on it snoring. Spain was sitting to the left of me, as we were watching the others from our dining room, with my hand enclosed in his. He patted my head as Romano swiftly entered the room, screaming at the top of his lungs.

"SPAIIIN! He's here! The (insert cussword of your choice) is here! Why am I always the target? (Insert another cussword here)! DO SOMETHING!" Romano looked to Spain as he was screaming, waving his hands around madly in a desperate attempt to convey his distress. I looked to Spain worriedly, uncertain of what exactly was going on.

"Relax, mi amor, I can make everything better!" He replied, getting up and releasing my hand as he saw my concerned face. With that, he stood in front of Romano, spread his arms out, waved his hands, then brought them together in the center of his chest and spread them out again, repeating the action whilst saying-

"Fusosososososo~! It's a magical charm that cheers people up!" I stifled a laugh, but Romano was fazed.

"Spaaain! Quit being a (insert cussword here) and actually do something! He's coming! CHIGI! You know, the (insert same cussword as the first cussword you inserted at the beginning of this chapter)! He's here, he's here, he's-"

"Bonjour~!" My eyes widened as my most feared nation stereotype entered the living room. He strolled in with a carefree attitude, either completely ignoring the chaos he had caused or just not caring. Of course, as he walked it seemed as though the wind blew perfectly on his clothes, whipping them up dramatically in just the right places and even blowing his fashionable blond hair a little. As he strolled, I then noticed the rolling pin in his hand.

"Antonio~!" I hid myself behind my husband and crammed myself even closer to him as Romano sniveled, hiding behind me.

"Fusososo~?" Spain's off tone revealed to me that he was either confused or finding this situation extremely awkward. I mean, who wouldn't? I risked a glance over at Germany and Greece and that, of course, answered my question. "Oy, 'Nii-san!" Spain spoke with a smile, while Romano and I looked on with suspicion.

"And where is your delicate flower?" He was talking about me, of course. My eyes narrowed.

At this, Germany cleared his throat. "France." He nodded, a simple hello to the slightly-less-than-welcome nation. "Nice to see you." Greece, still unconscious, simply snored.
"Honhonhonhon, Doitsu, still wearing those unpopular training clothes I see. Come now, we're not in the time of war anymore. And where's Ita-chan?"

As soon as France said it, I knew he'd struck a nerve. I'd just sit back and-

"Hetalia is quite capable of living on his own. He knows where to find me if he needs me." Germany's face was solemn, but his words were laced with a hidden threat, as if daring France to say more.

"Vell, I suppose I'll visit him some other time." France stated simply, turning away from Germany and back to- Oh no. I whimpered quietly as he faced Spain and Romano tensed behind me.

"Honhonhon~! There you are, mon cheri!" I froze as he acknowledged my presence. "I have something for you..." He lifted the rolling pin ever so slightly...

"Leave Okaa-san alone, you (insert cuss word here)!" Romano stated, peering from behind me. I could tell by his tone that he really meant it, and to have him refer to me like that made my heart melt, until-

"Oh, Romano! I didn't even see you there! Come give your France-niisan a h-"

"CHIGIIIIIII!" Romano fled the room, then the house, leaving me staring after him blankly. He almost managed to save me. Almost.

"Antonio~!"

After Romano ran off to who knows where, France's attention was directed back to me.

Crap.

I hid behind my dear husband once again for fear of the perverted frenchman. "Come now, Whitney, you are married to my good friend here and zis I will respect." He said in a semi-understanding tone.

"Y-you will?" I stammered, not sure what to believe.

"Whitney! I am hurt!" He said while dramatically putting his hand over his chest and the other on his forehead. This was obviously a charade. "I would never come between two lovers, especially if one is my good friend! Hence I will lower my teasing of you..."

He paused while I became noticably more comfortable with the situation before adding "...a bit." Whilst smirking as I shrieked and got right back behind my husband as he patted my head.

I became more nervous as France started walking towards me when something crazy happened. (But I was thankful for it.)

My friend Cassi burst through my door by kicking it open for no good reason. China and Italy were behind her.

"HA! I now claim myself to be the door ninja! Bwahahahaha!" She laughed at her 'victory' while I realized that if she could kick down my door than she may be better protection than Spain. (No offence to my husband!)

I ran and hid behind her as everyone registered what happened.

"Cassi, you should be more polite...and careful. Your hair is coming undone-aru." China said as he proceeded to fix her ponytail.

"Eh, sorry, not really used to having it up yet...heheheh. Whitney~! What are you hiding from?" She asked me, overly sugar coating the words and pretending not to notice France being there.

"Cassi, shut it!" I whisper-yelled at her, letting her know now was not the time to tease me over my fear.

She just started laughing.

"Vee~ Whitney-chan! France-ni-san! DOITSU!" Italy then yelled and dove into the house to hug everyone, starting with me then working through everyone else until he arrived at Germany. "Doitsu! Doitsu! Did you miss me, Doitsu? I've been keeping up with my training like you taught me! Promise!"

"Hetalia." Doitsu replied solemnly, although that eventually gave way to a slight smile. "I'm certain you have. Alright, Hetalia! What do you do when your enemy orders you to surrender?"

"That's an easy one, Doitsu! Surrender immediately- oh wait... That was wrong...DON'T GET MAD AT ME DOITSU, I FORGOT! But I have been exercising alot!" He said enthusiastically.

Germany sighed and shook his head. "Well, at least you remembered your natural choice for an answer was wrong..."

He then walked into the kitchen. "Whitney, do you have any asprin?" He called.

"Yeah, one sec!" I said as I slipped past France and went after him.

{NORMAL POINT OF VIEW}

France had been laughing to himself the whole time while staring after Whitney when she left. However, he began to notice a strange feeling originating behind him. He turned around to see Cassi, but she had an aura similar to that of Russia's surrounding her.

France immediately became intimidated, but before he could get away the shorter girl grabbed the collar of his cape and pulled him to her eye level so that it seemed that she was staring into his soul. What creeped him out even more was that she was smiling...

"Listen, and listen well. I may find Whitney's phobia of you humorous, but let's get it straight right now that it does NOT under ANY circumstances allow you to get near her. If you do, well, let's just say that you will be unable to make babies. Understand, French Fry?" she said icily, and recieved a petrified nod from France as she let go.

Not a second later, that aura was gone and she was smiling sweetly at him like nothing ever happened.

"Wuaaaah! Sorella is scaring me!" Wailed Italy from his seat on the couch between China and Greece. (Yes, still sleeping.)

Her attention was then directed at the two awake on the couch. Italy looked terrified out of his mind and China looked disturbed as well, just not in the same degree.

"Awwww, Italy! I'm sorry I scared you! And you too China! Momma will keep you safe!" She sang as she ran to the couch and held the two in a hug. After a few seconds, they seemed recovered as China was sitting calmly with his eyes shut and Italy was "ve~" ing softly as she stroked his hair.

France looked on in awe. Those two got her to be so nice to them when they didn't even do anything, while France constantly flirted with Whitney and Cassi but all he got back was pain...and fear.

Whitney and Germany then came back into the room.

{WHITNEY POINT OF VIEW}

When I returned, China, Italy, Greece and Cassi were on the couch while France was...in a corner rocking back and forth in the fetal position. This pleased me.

Germany and I sat down next to the others and we all started having a conversation.

As our talk progressed, with topics ranging from Cassi's door rampage to the extent of Italy's training, I happened to notice a void next to me, and a rather large one at that. As they proceeded to mingle and interact, I felt sadness rise up in me. As I tried to push the feeling away, it kept finding its way back...

"Whitney, what's wrong?" Cassi asked, looking at me in concern. I was never really good at hiding my emotions.

"Oh, it's nothing." I said with a smile plastered on my face. My eyes searched the room, trying to find what I was missing. "Just thinking, you know?"

"Madame zeems to have grown rather quiet recently." France replied, having recovered from his fetal position and sitting with the rest of us. He sipped the tea I had made earlier whilst somehow managing to control his urge to create innuendos, although there was still a slight sparkle in his eyes.

As I looked to him in slight confusion, I realized what exactly was bothering me. The ring on my hand seemed to weigh a ton. "Where's Spain?" I asked in a hushed voice, my gaze dropping to the ground. "And Romano?" My hands rushed to cover my face as a tear slid down my cheek. How could it have taken me so long to notice they were missing? I wiped the tear away hurriedly and gazed at my circle of friends.

"Woah, Whitney, calm down! It's okay, they're around here somewhere!" Cassi said. From what it looked like, my panic attack was causing her to start having one too.

"We have to find them now!" I shrieked. I then started running around the house trying to find my beloved husband and son in law. I ran through every room in the house and checked everywhere you could fit a human body, including the closet, the refridgerator, and even the compressed cabinet under the stairs. I found nothing.

I started crying and walked back to the living room in a very depressed mood. "I can't find them! My life is going to end!" I bawled and landed on Cassi.

I thought she was going to start trying to make me feel better, but not long after I collapsed, I heard her...laughing!

I looked up as her laughter became louder and it was only then that I noticed everyone else in the room was chuckling along with her.

I was about to ask what in the bleep was so funny when I looked at the door and saw my Spain and Romano. Spain was looking at me and smiling with his hands on his hips and Romano looked extreemely confused.

"SPAIN!" I yelled and jumped into his arms as he caught me bridal style. I hugged his neck and cried like a baby saying things about how I thought he was gone forever and I was never going to see him again. He simply laughed softly and started rubbing my back. Sparkles appeared around us as we both started smiling again.

I looked up at Romano who was shaking his head, probably in embarassment at his 'Mommy' acting like a little kid, while the laughter turned into Cassi and China yelling "Awwwww! KAWAIIII~aru!"

France was smirking and looked like he was about to say something, but then apparently decided against it after taking a quick glance at Cassi. Germany was just leaning against the wall smiling with his eyes closed while Italy was next to him "ve~" ing at the sight.

It was then, and only then, that Greece decided to randomly shoot up from his sleep and ask, "What'd I miss?"

...How did he know he missed something? Cassi, China and Italy were here and they weren't before, my door was busted wide open, I was in Spain's arms still sniffling, and France was being QUIET! But I decided I'd leave the explaining to them as my tired eyes told me I wanted a nap right about now.

And the last thing I heard before drifting off was a chorus of "DUDE! Mood killer!"