This takes place right after Edward leaves, during the months that Bella is lifeless. I realise this song is about her mother but it made me think of this story soo… yeah. If you like the story and want me to continue, please comment.

I hope you like it

Lexi

Mom, why love me if your cold?

You just get bitter then grow old

Ask me when I start to weep

And I'll tell you in my sleep my

Why I sing my lullaby.

My lullaby …

Maria Mena

POV-Bella

My tears sink into my pillow. It's been a month to the day that Edward left me and the whole still hasn't closed; my heart still hurts. My head spins, my thoughts tighten, my eyes water. I just had another bland dinner with Charlie and kept an expressionless face; it's all I could do besides tears.

As I cry soundless sobs, I look to the window; hoping, just hoping, that I would see his snowy white face on the other side. Nothing. I get up from my bed and go to the bathroom. It's 7.00 and my heart can't take up another waking minute. I thought that with time, the hole in my chest would start to close or at least get smaller. Not at all. If anything, the hole is larger; swollen.

Everyday at this time, I would promise myself that this would be the end; the last day, no more tears. And every morning I wake up with the same sore heart I fell asleep with, the whole grown. Even though I know the routine, I know I won't just forget, I continue to make the same promise every night; with the hope that tomorrow will be a new.

Please. Please let me forget. Let me move on. Let me shift from under this gloomy cloud of tears and let me live. Please. Let me forget.

The last month has been a routine. I've done the same thing every day in order to not hurt Charlie by letting him in. Just like every other night, I travel to the window before I go to sleep. I open it just a crack, walk back to my bed, then return to open it entirely. I stare out the window, just hoping. I climb over the covers and fall asleep with the cool caress of night; trying to fool myself by the cold.

Please.

***

POV-Edward

One month, two hours, eleven minutes and twenty-seven seconds since I last saw her face. Every day, I try to get further and further away but every night, I get closer and closer. Two nights ago, the monster in me, the greedy, selfish monster, managed to get to Seattle before I had the will power to stop. Last night, he got all the way to Port Angeles. I'm on a downward spiralling track and I fear the sun going down. Currently, I am in Bolivia, but distance has never stopped me before, not when it involved her.

I have deserted my family. I haven't gone hunting in weeks. Why should I deserve to be happy? To be fed? I am a monster. If I can't have Bella, I don't want any of that either.

One month, two hours, twelve minutes and fourteen seconds. My life for the past one month, two hours, twelve minutes and seventeen seconds has been a timer, a countdown until the next time I see her. My brain says never; I can't harm her anymore. However, my greed wants to run to her house right now and feel her hot lips against mine. My heart is torn, that is, my stone cold heart. Since the transformation, the closest I have had to a beating heart was when I found out I loved her; and every time I saw her since. Never again.

Without a conscience decision, my legs started to run; faster than I have ever ran before. Consciously, I didn't know where I was going, but that was only because I wouldn't let myself realise. I knew all too well where I was going; the same place I has been going every day for the past month; the place where my heart was drawn.

Like a magnet, I was drawn to her; just like every other evil thing out there. She was a magnet.

My legs moved at an impossible rate and I was in Forks in no time. I was in our meadow. Just as I was about to win the argument against the monster, I realised that she could be unsafe. As I remember Bella, she was a magnet for trouble; she could be hurt. I had forgone my right as her protector when I left but now that I thought of it, I had to know she was safe. Just a quick look in her room, and I would leave. To see her face, to make sure she's okay. That's all.

I better go hunting.