Author's Note: I really wanted to write a Grace/Jake fic. You can't deny the chemistry between them, and I noticed this website is sadly lacking in this category. Oh yeah, and if you review, please tell me what you thought about Grace's italicized thought, I really wanted to add that in. Please R and R, and tell me what to write next! Thanks for reading!
Grace felt torn as she watched Jake sleep. He should be awake-he should be with Norm and Trudy, discussing their minute chances of making a plan that could stop those daisycutters from destroying the Tree of Souls. He should be, but he was sleeping. Grace felt a rare pang of pity. He needed the rest more than anyone here. It was hard on this Marine, thrust quickly into a new world. Who would have known that Jake Sully, the jerk with zero lab training and and a complete disrespect for anyone who tried to help him, would grow to love Pandora so much? But was it Pandora that Jake was really in love with? Or Neytiri? Grace poured herself some more brandy, knowing that she was going to regret it tomorrow. She wouldn't let herself go that far. Grace clung to a small hope. She hoped that jarhead, cocky-as-hell marine would finally realize how she felt about him. Would he feel the same? Maybe some day. Grace realized that her chances of ever being in a relationship with Jake were about as slim as their chances of defending the Na'vi against Quaritch's men and their high-tech weaponry.
The Doctor pushed her auburn hair out of her eyes and and knelt by the bedside, praying that Jake wouldn't wake up. Grace peered down at him, allowing herself a small smile in spite of her aching head and aching heart. He looked so young and innocent while he was asleep. Perhaps he was dreaming of a simpler time, when Tom was still alive and the Home Tree still intact, the lives of the Omaticaya still peaceful and untouched by the RDA's cruel crafts of war. She hoped, for his sake, that his dreams were untroubled. Jake had to deal with enough nightmares while he was awake. He didn't deserve it all. Under that mask of self-confidence and blatant rudeness, Jake was really a sweetheart.
She let her eyes roam. His face had been growing paler and paler, and it worried her. What if the constant transitioning between his human and Avatar bodies was having a negative affect on Jake? His jet-black hair was a stark contrast to the paleness of his skin. He had been keeping it longer, despite Grace's constant nagging. Although she would rather marry Quaritch than admit it, she liked it that way. Grace glanced quickly at his muscular chest. It rose and fell with his even breathing. Her eyes traveled over the faded black tattoo on his shoulder, then looked away, her face reddening. What would Norm and Trudy say if they knew that Doctor Augustine was admiring Jake while he was sleeping? What would Jake say?
Grace exhaled loudly, then gently tucked the faded blue blanket under the Marine's chin, partly because she was afraid he would catch a cold, and partly because she was afraid that she would stare at his muscles until morning. Well, she wasn't going to fall asleep anyway. Not with all that brandy in her system. Might as well spend her sleepless night staring at the man she loved. Even if she could see just his face now. She sighed wearily. Why did he have to be so attractive and unavailable? It was like God was punishing her for all the wrong she had done. No, Jake was more like a blessing. He was that beautiful thing in her life that was always just out of her reach. Not like anything had ever come easy for Grace Augustine. Especially relationships. Grace admitted to herself that she was probably better at understanding plants than people.
Moonlight streamed in from the bunker's clear glass windows. The jungle outside was dark, but Pandora's moon illuminated the darkness like a beacon. Inside in the bunker, everything was quiet and still. Norm and Trudy had no doubt retired for the night. Grace smiled thinly. She had no doubts that they were sharing a bed. Her face became stone-like again. Well, good for them. At least they were happy. And they deserved a little romance, after all they've been through. Grace watched Jake sadly. Maybe she didn't deserve to be happy. She wasn't anyone's idea of a good person. But Jake was. And Jake had Neytiri. She held back bitter tears that had been threatening to engulf her for a long time. Was he happy with her? Did they truly love each other? It was the question that Grace never wanted to hear the answer to, the unspoken, mocking whisper that lurked in the back of her mind. Would she ever have a chance with him?
Jake coughed and moved his head slightly. Grace jumped to her feet, startled, and groped franticly in the darkness for a book, a cigarette, anything to make it look like she was actually doing something besides staring at Jake. In her haste she spilled the brandy, the drink staining her one clean blouse. She swore loudly, then froze. He was awake, his eyes locked onto hers. Her mind raced. Was her guilt apparent on her face? Did he know? For a moment, nobody moved, nobody breathed, nobody said a word.
To her intense suprise, Jake smiled at her, his dark eyes glinting. "Hi, Doc. Why you up so late?" She breathed out and crossed her arms, reverting to that familiar strategy of defensiveness that she employed whenever the tension between her and Jake got too real. "Why aren't you out there with us, Marine? Think you can sneak in here and get a few extra hours of sleep?" She didn't want to give him the real answer that echoed inside her head- I couldn't sleep because of all the brandy I downed to keep myself from thinking of you and Neytiri. And even if I hadn't, I'd be too afraid to fall asleep, because I would dream of you. And when I woke up, it would suck.
Jake sat up, still surveying her curiously with those bright blue eyes. He was always good at hiding his emotions, but now Grace had no idea what was running through his mind, and it scared her. "I had a headache." Grace laughed shortly. "Oh, boo-hoo," she said, her voice sour, twisted. "The poor Marine gets a headache and thinks he can just run off and leave us to think of a plan by ourselves!" Grace was suprised at how angry she sounded. Why did she always have to take it out on the people closest to her?
It was his turn to laugh. "Look, Grace, I'm sure you're no stranger to headaches. You must get them all the time, look at all the crap you drink." His eyes went from the empty glass on the floor to the brandy-stain on her shirt. She felt a hot flush creep up her cheeks. "None of your business what I drink! How do I know you aren't sleeping off a hangover?"
"Because I'm not stupid enough to steal your booze." She opened her mouth to retort, but at the sight of the boyish smile back on his face, she faltered. "Ok, Jake. I give up. You got away with it this time. But..." Jake met her eyes with a steady gaze. His face was very serious, he looked sad and alone. "What is it, Grace?" His voice was low, barely above a whisper. "You gonna tell me why you drink so much? You gonna tell me why you never look me in the eyes anymore? You gonna tell me the real reson you were in my room?"
Staggered by his questions and the intensity of his gaze, Grace took a step backwards. She bit her lip and looked away. She couldn't take it anymore. Grace crossed to the window and peered out into the dense foliage outside. Her voice trembled, every word an effort. Grace had never voiced her thoughts about him before, always kept them locked away inside."I was going to say that...that we can't do it without you. You're our last hope, Jake."
She heard the sheets rustle behind her. For resons unknown to her, Grace sat beside Jake on the bed. Her heart flung itself wildly against her ribcage. She didn't know what to do, how to react. Every nerve in her body was a live wire. Grace tensed, poised for flight. Yet at the same time, she wanted to stay here, in this room, forever. With him.
He placed a hand on her shoulder; she shivered at his touch. "I'm flattered, Doc, but you're the real brains of the operation. I mean, I don't know nothing about trees or plants. I know everybody looks at me, and wishes I was Tom. But I'm trying my best, I really am." Grace closed her eyes. "I know, Jake. But if you sneak in here every night and complain you have a headache, people are going to think you're going soft." She glanced sidelong at him. "For God's sake, Jake. Put a goddamn shirt on, you're distracting me."
He chuckled softly. "You've got a foxy side, Doc." She frowned. " Knock it off, Marine. Neytiri won't be too happy about this." It killed her to say it, but she had to. She needed to know if he really loved her. Grace held her breath. Would his words shatter her, or lift her up? Would he even say anything at all? Jake took a long time to choose his woords. When he did, he spoke slowly, and his face looked dark. "She doesn't love me anymore. She told me so. It would never work anyway. She's so perfect, and I'm just..."
Jake let his voice trail off. The bitterness in his voice went straight to Grace's heart. She had never felt a stronger urge to wrap her arms around him. Instead, she took his hand from her shoulder and squeezed it. "You're alright, Marine." She smiled sadly at him. "You're just going through a rough pass. She'll come back to you eventually. They always do." Jake smiled for a second, but when it faded from his face, it left him looking even more forlorn. "What about you? There must be a man."
Grace shook her head slowly. "No," she said, a little more harshly than she intended. "Nobody." When her eyes filled, she didn't even bother to wipe the tears that streamed down her face. Ashamed, she turned away. Why did she have to cry now, of all times? It was bad enough he didn't like her. Grace got the shock of her life when Jake hugged her, strong arms pulling her close. She closed her eyes and inhaled his scent, loving every second of his embrace. "Since when did you become the big old lovey-dovey teddy bear, Marine?"
Grace could tell he was smiling just by his voice. "Since when do you get all emotional, Grace? I'm starting to think you're losing your nerve." She smiled too, wiping her tears and cautiously wrapping her arms around Jake's muscular figure. "I'm starting to think you're losing your nerve, Jake. You went to bed because of a headache?"
He released her, and she moved away slightly, curious to hear his answer. His face half in shadow, he looked at the ground. Jake sounded about to cry himself. "I didn't." Grace stared at him. "I went to bed because of a broken heart. You got anything to fix that, Grace?" She bit her lip. Surely these emotions would kill her. She knew it was wrong, but she did it anyway. He suprised her by kissing her back, gentle lips on hers, his arms around her tightly. The RDA was bigger than both of them. But in that moment, Jake Sully and Grace Augustine forgot everything that restricted them, and found solace in each other's arms.