Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the book so please don't sue.
A/N: This is a what I believe to be a much needed fic of friendship between Sirius and Molly, I just can't stand them arguing. I suppose it is a bit Alternate Universe at the end as well as some of the things they talk about, but her, what are fan fic writers for! Pleased do review and tell me what you think, if its okay, if I got the relationship alright, if your having a nice dinner tonight, whatever really, just review!
'Sirius, could I talk with you for a bit?' Molly Weasley asked as she put away the last dish. She had just finished clearing up after the large meal she had prepared for the Order, and although most people had gone, Sirius, Remus and Tonks had stayed in the kitchen chatting while the children had gone upstairs to do goodness knows what, most likely just to avoid any more cleaning. Sirius, as well as the other two, looked surprised at the request, but nodded anyway. Going outside the kitchen, Molly looked around, where could they go that they wouldn't be disturbed?
'Do you know where we could go so we won't be interrupted or overheard?' Molly whispered to the ex-convict, remembering to keep her voice down so the portrait of Sirius' mother wouldn't wake up. Sirius looked thoughtful for a moment; this had to be really important if she was this desperate to talk with him.
'We could go to my room and put up some silencing charms, no one should come up.' He suggested; his voice equally as low. 'But if you're trying to kill me remember there are witnesses who saw you leaving with me.' He warned her. Molly gave a pained smile.
'If I was trying to kill you, I would be a lot more subtle.' She retorted as she followed the man up the stairs. He gave a barking laugh as they stepped reached his room.
Stepping inside, he motioned for Molly to take the chair while he sat down in the bed. The room was as musty as the rest of the house with a double bed by one wall and a dresser opposite. An old ornate desk was next to her and on the wall was a small mirror, equally as intricately detailed, but there was little in the room that suggested someone lived there, only the bed looking slightly messed with a few pieces of clothing on the floor gave it away.
'So what did you want to talk to me about?' Sirius asked after a few minutes of silence. Molly took a breath before starting.
'We don't get along do we?' It was more of a fact than a question, but Sirius shook his head all the same, the two of them argued more than anyone else in the house, which considering how often Snape came around was quite an achievement. 'It's probably my fault that is, and I probably owe you an explanation why.'
'We both have conflicting personalities, it's just who we are.' Sirius disagreed; he couldn't let her take all the blame for their relationship when it had most likely taken both of them to cause the problems. Molly continued as though she hadn't heard, changing the line of topic and surprising Sirius greatly.
'I don't have many friends. It's my own fault I know, but those friends I do have, I try my best to keep them safe, protect them with everything I have, but in these days, its not enough.' Sirius didn't interrupt, he could see how much this was taking out of her, and he feared if he stopped her, she wouldn't continue. 'In the first war, I lost nearly everyone I cared about, my parents, my best friend, my two brothers, Fabien and Gideon, as well as my friends Marlene and Dorcas and goodness knows how many others, for a while I even almost lost Arthur. I think he was at St Mungo's for three months while I took care of seven children on my own, and now in this war, all my family will fight again, only this time, my children will be fighting as well. I don't want to loose them, and I don't want to loose any more friends, including you.' Sirius looked up, shocked.
'But we aren't really friends, we just argue.' Sirius questioned her.
'It doesn't mean I don't care about you. The only people I truly care about are in this house, to loose any one of you…I don't think I can go through that again, it's why I try so hard with you.' Sirius looked confused.
'I'm fine; I'm not going anywhere, literally.' He snorted in self disgust at what he amounted to being his prison, Molly looked up and glared at him.
'Yes you are, I watch everyday as you self destruct, destroying yourself and everyone around you, including Harry.'
'I would never do anything to harm him!' Sirius looked disgusted at the thought of harming his godson.
'But you are. You drink yourself unconscious probably more times than even I've seen you; you despair at being kept in here and your mood spreads to others, the gloom of being here, the grumpiness, the moodiness, we all feel it.' Sirius looked down at the duvet he was sitting on, he had no idea how much he had been affecting others, as far as he could see, he had been keeping it hidden well while the drinking chased away all he unwanted fears and emotions. 'I just can't let you do this to yourself, I can't watch you suffer and do nothing.' Her voice got quieter at the end of the sentence. 'I see you as though you were one of my own, to see you like this and pushing everyone away only makes it harder when we end up arguing and I still can't help you.'
'Did you mean what you said about me not being able to tell Harry and James apart?' Sirius asked desperately, he was seeing an entirely new angle to situation he had never even considered.
'Yes, I do mean it.' Padfoot looked in shock the red headed woman, 'everytime I've put you to bed drunk, you can't tell them apart, you've called Harry James more times than I can count and I fear the alcohol, the grief and prison may blur your thoughts.'
'I see Harry as Harry, James was so different, so, so different from Harry.' Sirius murmured quietly.
'I just worry that you'll expect from Harry what your friend would do and who he would be, disappointing both of you when you find out he isn't and can't be that person.'
'I can barely see who Harry is, trapped in this prison!' The agitated man thumped his bed in frustration; he hated not being able to do things with Harry a normal guardian should be able to do, to see how he behaves in the world, how he plays Quidditch up close and not from the field opposite, to see him out of this hell hole he was trapped in.
'This is no prison.' Molly argued back, looking unhappy at that he could possibly call it that.
'Oh, and what do you call it? I can't ever leave, just stuck here with more dark objects than anywhere else, a screaming portrait if my mother and my own sorry company. I swore when I left here I would never come back, and yet here I am, trapped again.'
'I would call this a home.' Sirius gave her an incredulous look, who on earth could call this place a home? 'We're a family here, and that's what matters, not what this dump looks like. Harry is here, our friends are here, could you honestly call that a prison when nearly everyone you care about is under the same roof? You are asked to stay here so we can keep you safe, I have no idea the horrors you must have faced on Azkaban,' Sirius shivered at the mention of the true hell but said nothing as he pushed away the bad memories, 'but then we could do nothing, we knew nothing of your innocence. You were alone there, but now you are out of there, and people still want to harm you. We want to protect you, keep you safe this time and make sure you aren't alone, but we can only do that if you stay here. Believe me, if we knew a better way of helping we would gladly do it, but for now this is how it has to be. You aren't the only one who can't leave here, who needs to be protected form the outside world.'
'But none of them is a supposed murderer.'
'Maybe not, but Tonks is persecuted because she is effectively a shape shifter, Remus because he is a werewolf, Harry because he's the boy-who-lived to the world, Hermione because she's a muggle born, Arthur because he likes muggle things, my children because we are a poor pureblood family with many children and those are just the ones off the top if my head. We come here because we feel safer with each other, but most of them try and conquer what they fear by going out into the world, trying to show they are the same as everyone else.'
'Then why can't I?' Sirius demanded.
'Because they won't listen to you, but they will listen to evidence when we find that bloody rat,' Sirius had to smile at the incredibly rare use of profanity from the mother, even if it was mild, 'and we will show the world you are innocent. You did your part telling us the truth, now it is our turn to do our bit, let us help you.'
'What about you?' Sirius asked quietly.
'What about me what?' Molly looked confused at the question.
'Why do you stay here?'
'I stay here because I can't go outside either. I'm just as trapped as you are really.'
'I've seen you leave the house though, you go to Diagon Alley; you go to the station to see off your children, you can leave at any moment.' Sirius argued back, and was shocked when Molly shook her head.
'I leave then because I know how much it would hurt my children not to go, but I can't stand crowds; most of the time I stay inside, moving from one house to another and rarely going out. I don't go to Diagon alley, or go shopping, Arthur does, instead I stay in or go outside into the fields; it's why we live so far from people, I cannot leave the house that easily. I didn't go to the World Quidditch match for that reason, and it's why our family is so large, so I wouldn't get lonely being on my own so much while Arthur is at work.'
'I had no idea.'
'You weren't supposed to.' Molly gave him a kind smile, she felt better telling him. It wasn't a well known secret, only limited to her family, Dumbledore and Harry. Harry had been shocked when she told him, he had come to her while staying at the Burrow and asked why she wasn't going to the match, and so deciding not to lie, she had told him. Harry hadn't said anything but instead hugged her, telling her he still respected her and she was one of the bravest women he knew. It had been hard not to cry at that, but from that day, nothing had been said about the incident.
'Why do you care so much about me? I mean, after all the arguments we've had, you still consider me a friend, someone of your family, why?' Sirius finally voiced the question that had been plaguing him a long time.
'I made a promise.' She answered simply.
'To who?' Sirius asked; who on earth would make her promise to care for him no matter what.
'James Potter.' Sirius took in a gulp of air, of all the answers, he wasn't expecting that one. 'A few months before he, before he died, he came to see me after one of the meetings. He said how well I looked after my children and the people I cared for, how protective I was and how I would do anything for them. He then asked me for a favour, he said if anything happened to him or Lily, but mostly him, then I was to care for you as my own. He said you needed someone to care for you, even if you didn't know it and if he couldn't manage it, he wanted me to be there for you. He knew Remus would be as well, but as they didn't know who the leak was then, he knew it wasn't me at least so I was safe to ask. I rarely left the headquarters and instead mostly just cared for the members of the Order, instead of the active stuff. I swore I would, after telling him off for pessimistic thoughts of course, and told him it would be an honour, not a favour.'
'That's sounds like Jimmy,' Sirius managed to choke out, 'he never did manage to think of himself first when his friends were involved. We always came first to him, and if you messed with one of us, he was there in an instant, making sure we were okay and heaven help the one who had wronged us.' Tears began to trickle down his cheeks as he finally managed to mourn the friend, brother he had lost. Molly left the chair and held the broken man in her arms, giving him the support he needed to finally let James go.
When the tears eventually stopped, they gave each other a weak smile; they finally understood each other a lot better. Sure they would probably argue every now and then, but the clashes would be a lot less often and volatile, and would most likely just be innocent bickering between them, after all, all they did for one another would be out of love, not meddling.
'Thank you.' Sirius said after a few minutes of silence.
'Nonsense, it was nothing I wouldn't have done for anyone else, it's the only thing I'm good at really.' Molly admitted, blushing slightly at the intensity of Sirius' thanks.
'It's a vital job to the Order; I don't think anyone of us would be coping as well as we are without you. You're the glue here.' Molly blushed even more before the two of them shared a last hug and left the room. Going into the livingroom where the other people were sitting, they sat down in their various poses and begun chatting as though nothing had happened, the only difference being Sirius and Molly seemed a lot more cheerful, Sirius being less depressed and Molly a lot less worried.
'Would you like a drink Sirius?' Remus asked part way through the evening. Sirius looked thoughtful; for a moment before shaking his head. Sharing a look with Molly, they smiled at each other; Sirius knew it was time he started to start living again, the best he could in the circumstances, enjoy his family and that meant starting with the alcohol.
Remus smiled to himself at the turn of events, normally Sirius would be drinking solidly throughout the evening, whatever he and Molly had talked about had certainly had a good effect, and he was glad, he couldn't stand seeing his friend waste away.
That Christmas while Arthur was injured, Sirius made sure Molly stayed with him and Remus, taking care of her as she normally did everyone else. Less than six months later, Sirius fell through the veil. Six months after that, they managed to pull him back through. When asking why Molly was talking such careful and good care of Sirius while nursing him back to health, all she would tell the weak man was that he was her friend and family, her son, and she had a promise to keep to his brother.
During his time behind the veil, Sirius had been found innocent of everything, a fact he was delighted with when Molly told him.
Harry couldn't be more delighted at getting a father figure in Sirius when they moved into theirs and Remus' new house next door to the Weasley's, as well as a mother figure in Molly, he finally had what he needed, a family.
The End