They were talking about their last practice match when the sudden confession slipped out from the phantom player. Akashi Seijurou sat rigidly on the bench, hands tightened over his water-bottle, and head turned to his right side only to be graced by the sight of unwavering blue-sky orbs towards his heterochromatic eyes.
"Kuroko?"
"I like Akashi-kun, if possible, will you go out with me?"
Silence fell between them. The little distance between their seats was too suffocating and the emptiness of the basketball hall wasn't helping at all. It was the first time Akashi Seijurou felt betrayed by his precise calculation. Kuroko's confession was beyond his knowledge and eventhough Akashi admitted that his phantom man often exceeded his expectation, Akashi had never thought about the possibility for Kuroko to see their relationship in the most romantic way. Never once Akashi Seijurou thought about it.
"It's already late, we need to go hom-"
"Akashi-kun"
The stiffness behind the soft voice of his companion assured Akashi that the confession was real and that Kuroko was serious about it. Fumbling with his water bottle, Akashi Seijurou breathed in and out. He didn't like this feeling. He disliked it when he couldn't handle his composure and he wanted to get rid the fluttering feeling inside his stomach. Akashi Seijurou had never felt this conflicted before.
"Have you thought about it seriously?"
Kuroko blinked and smiled. "I did"
Akashi put his water bottle between them and rested both of his elbows over his knees. He laced his fingers in front of his nose, eyes shut. Thinking.
This is not right.
Akashi didn't want this to be happened. Not even in his wildest estimation. He wanted things between him and Kuroko stayed firmly as mere team mates. He couldn't force Kuroko Tetsuya to forget, but surely, Akashi would like to do anything to avoid this ridiculous amatory to be happened.
And Akashi Seijurou willed to sacrifice everything to make his wish granted.
Undid
by fancyshipper
Kuroko no Basket © Fujimaki Tadatoshi
unbetaed Toki wo Kakeru Shoujou AU! AkaKuro
"I think Murasakibara-kun needs to practice his movement to be faster than his current pace to avoid any unnecessary fake from a point guard with small feature"
"True. And we need to tighten the guard when Shintarou possessed the ball. People tend to flock him whenever he is ready for three pointer"
Kuroko muffled a smile when Akashi mentioned their reliable shooter. "Still.. that was a good match"
"Indeed it was"
Akashi, together with Kuroko, sat on the bench side by side. They decided to stay late on the court after everyone left. Being observant themselves, there would always be a conversation between them after they had one particular practice match with another school. It was actually quite odd since the one who supposed to engage in this kind of conversation should be Akashi as the captain and Midorima as the vice-captain.
"Akashi-kun"
Akashi gulped his water and turned his head with eyebrows inched upward. His facial feature permitted Kuroko to continue his sentence while his finger tried to close his bottle.
"I like Akashi-kun"
Heterochromatic eyes sharply looked through the icy blue-eyes. "How did it come into this?"
"Akashi-kun.."
The red head showed a gesture which blatantly shown his distasteful mood. Kuroko's pale blue eyes somehow glistened with an avidity to continue his sudden confession but then decided to stop. "I'm sorry"
"You better be"
Kuroko's shoulder flinched by the time his dear captain giving him cold shoulder. The smaller teen knew very well that his confession was indeed so sudden and surprising but what made him disappointed was how Akashi treated him afterwards.
"I will go first"
Kuroko stood up from his bench and took all of his belonging. "I'm sorry for today. Please forget what I've said before"
But you would never forget. Akashi examined Kuroko's slumped shoulder as his companion already left the hall.
Forgetting was never a solution for a rejected confession. Forgetting was a futile effort for heart-broken people to patch things up and continue their lives. Akashi Seijurou was not a man of romance but he could always expect what comes before and after a love confession. Forgetting was useless.
An attempt to deem that the confession had never happened was also fruitless. People would never dismiss the memory of their loss and so the remembrance of their rejection will haunt them forever. The only think they could do was erasing people's memories –literally erasing as in hypnotism or amnesia case- or rewriting their memories.
Akashi Seijurou would rather choose the latter.
"I think Murasakibara-kun need to practice his movement to be faster than his current pace to-"
"Kuroko"
Kuroko stopped midway and turned his head to see his captain gulped down his water. "Yes, Akashi-kun?"
"If you want to discuss our practice match just now, I would prefer us to do it tomorrow"
Akashi closed his water bottle and stood up. Following Akashi's movement, Kuroko then took his belonging and nodded. "I understand"
The captain walked to the door while Kuroko followed him eagerly. From the corner of his eyes, Akashi could see the very intention of Kuroko to say something but Akashi stayed silent.
"Akashi-kun, I-"
Akashi lifted his hand to halt their steps. He observed Kuroko thoroughly before he decided to drop the bomb.
"Kuroko, I don't want to have any more conversation for the rest of the day. If it is really important and urgent I will welcome you to say it now, but if it can wait, we can discuss it the next time we talk"
"That…"
Akashi tilted his head, wordlessly demanding a response. Kuroko sighed and smiled –a smile in which people, even Akashi himself, can find a restrained sadness inside.
"It is nothing important, Akashi-kun. Please take a rest and thank you for today"
Kuroko bowed slightly but then, slow but sure, he left the hall obediently. Not sure how to feel, Akashi dismissed the idea of him being confessed for two times –and also rejected his teammate twice. After all, those confessions were never happened in the first place. No one realized that the world had been rewritten twice. No one but him.
Even so, those sudden confessions intrigued Akashi to the point he couldn't help but to think about Kuroko's feeling towards him. Every time Akashi stumbled across some romance series on the television, he remembered. Every time he suddenly sorted all of his collection and found one or two romance classics, he remembered. Every time he accidentally met a couple on his way home, he remembered. It was as clear as the day that the one who couldn't forget was him and that all of those time leaping things were all backfired.
Now every time he remembered, the sight of Kuroko's face when he confessed, the fidgeting gesture from the phantom back then, and the taken-aback face of Kuroko when Akashi disregarded him were all haunting him every day.
But after all of those happened, Akashi could see that he was the only one being affected. He could see that Kuroko's behavior towards him didn't change. They were still compatible teammates as Akashi ever hoped and Kuroko never betrayed his expectation on the court. They still chatted a lot about club activities and even outside the club, Kuroko often accompanied Akashi when the captain wanted an observation discussion or a compatible silence when they both wanted to take a rest from their cheerful and their furious teammates –Akashi with his self-match shogi and Kuroko with his classic book.
Yet Akashi knew the feeling which ever lingered in Kuroko's heart back then was no longer exist. Is it because Akashi used his time-leaping ability to rewrite their time? Were there really no more feelings for him?
"B-but, I don't like him!"
Akashi's ear perked as he saw a bunch of girl walked past him in the hall. It seemed that those girls were talking about a man who confessed to one of their friend back in lunch time.
"There is a possibility for you to like him after the confession!"
"B-but.."
The girl in the middle stuttered. Akashi saw her biting her lower lips while he himself got interested to see the development of their conversation. More like, Akashi was curious as in how the girl managed through the confession.
"I.. I think I will try"
Right after the girl shyly answered her friends' advice, a cheerful celebration roamed the little circle. Upped his eyebrow in comprehension, Akashi walked through the hall and gave himself a thought.
Is that how things in love works?
But then, even Akashi decided to try it out, he would never be able to know the result. It was all because he already undid things between him and Kuroko. There was just no way for him to suddenly come to Kuroko and accept the confession while actually, in the present time, Kuroko had never confessed to him. It was because he used his time-leaping ability to undo those confessions.
Now that it was all in vain, Akashi rethought his decision at those times –times were Kuroko confessed to him with an eager face and keen interest. Isn't him a lucky bastard who owned the ability to leap through time? It is normal for him to redo things when something got out of hands, isn't it? When those confessions came into him and he disliked the way it turned out, it is just an expected motion if he chose to rewrite the time, right?
Yet now Akashi doubted the gift he suddenly owned, this time leaping ability. How could his ability be able to bring him any good while now, no matter how many times he redid his day, Kuroko would never accost him with the same eyes and the same heart anymore.
Akashi coldly received a letter of resignation from their phantom sixth man. He could see the blue marble which always stunned him was currently covered with tiredness.
"Are you sure?"
Kuroko firmly nodded his head. His eyes looked straight to Akashi but the red head didn't feel the stare at all –must be because of the emptiness within those eyes.
"Thank you for everything up until now. I am happy to be part of the team"
Akashi stayed still. His fingers barely could feel the smooth paper in his possession and stared deeply towards the one who was his team mate. With all the mess and the dispute between the members of the first string, Kuroko's resignation wasn't surprising at all –least that could happened to Akashi's expectation. It was all calculated. Seven hells, Akashi even estimated the day in which Kuroko will finally pass the letter. It was only a matter of time and Akashi was never wrong. And then here he stood in the quiet hall in front of the basketball room, face to face with the enigma of his days.
"Aside from basketball matters, being together with the team was fun. I couldn't thank you more for that"
Akashi pinched the bridge of his nose –clearly irritated. Who cares about the resignation letter, the only one in his mind right now was how things will go between them from now on. He couldn't help it, they couldn't. Basketball matter was a sensitive case and by the time it got out of hand, it was just too late to fix it and it was a right decision for Kuroko to resign –even their coach couldn't do anything about it. But about their matters outside the court, all those compatible silence, one sided shogi matches, and those endless discussions about observing people, Akashi couldn't stand to lose all of that. Not after he received a confession from the other party –those undid confessions.
"That's not what you've said before, Tetsuya"
The confused look from the blue haired man in front of him made Akashi Seijurou wondered if he ever did a mistake by miscalculating his time-leaping ability. And damn he did. Akashi's heterochromatic eyes glinted in hope, as if wanted to convey his undefined feelings, the feelings of wanting to be confessed.
"What..", Kuroko upped his eyebrows in bewilderment. "..what did I say before?"
Akashi's eyes muddled in vain hope,"The things outside basketball matters"
Kuroko backed off a bit –surprised by the sudden turn of topic. He was only intended to submit his resignation letter but it seemed that his ex-captain had more things to be talked about.
"That.."
Kuroko turned his head to his left and right, making sure that there was no one in the vicinity to eavesdrop their conversation. "I don't think I've ever said anything about that.."
Akashi sighed in disappointment. He knew it. His Kuroko who had twice confessed to him was no longer there. There was no assurance that this current Kuroko still hold the same feeling as he had ever felt before.
As a captain himself, Akashi folded the letter neatly and put it on his pocket,"If that is all, then I, Akashi Seijurou, as the captain, will accept this letter and on behalf of the team members, I deliver our deepest gratitude for your hard work up until now"
Kuroko bowed his head once as he saw Akashi walked out away from the hall. As he left Kuroko, Akashi's corner of his mouth upped a bit. Just as what he thought. That was all between them. They're done –in the most definite done phrase.
Akashi knew he could never be the one to bring things up. He had no right to do that while he already cheated on life back then when he undid things between them. The time-leaping was his mistakes and leaving things as it now was his punishment.
"Akashi-kun.."
Akashi halted his step. The way Kuroko called him just now was exactly in the tone which he used long time ago when was about to confess. Akashi was sure of it.
"Yes, Tetsuya?"
Akashi tried not to let the trembling in his voice discovered. He pivoted calmly so that they are now facing each other with a little distance between.
"I..", Kuroko's face perked up, the look on his face showed his intention to say something important. "..there is something that I want to talk about"
Akashi swore he could feel tons butterflies inside his stomach. The fluttering feeling inside his heart was not to his liking but then it was all the feelings he had craved since the day Kuroko confessed to him.
"Is it related to basketball?"
"It is..", Kuroko bit his lower lips. ".. about Akashi-kun"
Two hearts throbbed in one vibe of anxiety. Akashi made sure that he couldn't bring himself to another expectation. Expectation in love led him to nothing –just like what he did when he was hoping for another confession from Kuroko and resulted to none.
"Oh?"
Akashi tried to put up a façade. He acted as if he didn't know anything that would occur the next time Kuroko opened his mouth. Akashi's face showed disinterest upfront while actually his inner self was expecting a confessi-
"Thank you, Akashi-kun"
Akashi was taken aback by the sudden words from Kuroko. When he realized, he saw Kuroko bowed down deeply in front of him for awhile.
"If it's not for Akashi-kun, I would never be able to get in the court"
Akashi's knuckles curled in endless anxiety, hoping for another continuation that would led them into something akin to feelings exchange conversation.
"I like..", Kuroko gulped, so was Akashi. "..no, it is not like, it is a feeling more into love"
"Tetsuya?"
"I love basketball", Kuroko's blue eyes stared right into heterochromatic eyes with faint smile. "I would have stopped this feeling long time ago if it's not for Akashi-kun who came to my rescue and gave me the chance to explore myself, my ability.. and my very existence"
Akashi's once bright eyes somehow radiated an unexpected disappointment. The honesty in Kuroko's statement filled Akashi to a whole new level of agony.
"That was..", Akashi trailed off for a bit. "..nothing of importance"
Kuroko fidgeted in his place but then bowed once more. "Thank you for all your guidance, Akashi-kun"
"The favor goes back at you too, Tetsuya"
The two of them then engaged in a suffocating silence until finally Akashi, couldn't handle more of the pressure, questioned. "Is that all?"
Kuroko nodded and Akashi was sure that was really the end of it.
"I will go first then"
Akashi moved his head as a sign to walk out and started to go home in a loss. That was it. That was the end of his first romance telltale. If only there were people witnessing Akashi's face after that conversation, one would know that the infamous red head captain was in the verge of pathetic breakdown state.
If only Akashi had the gallantry to speak first, then Akashi would know Kuroko's exact feeling right now. Still, to think that all the confusions happened just because he undid things by his time-leaping ability, it was too pitiful for an emperor like him to be drained over confessions –which actually never happened. Even if Akashi planned to come out, what would he say?
I have time-leaping ability and you twice confessed to me. But then after I undid things, you never once tried to confess again. Care to tell me why?
Now that he already experience the pain of making mistakes in love, Akashi Seijurou swore that he, would never recklessly use his time leaping ability again. Akashi knew enough of one mistake he did and he wouldn't want to fail twice.
With the broken feelings inside his throbbing heart –oh god it's throbbing so much it hurts-, Akahi walked away from the hall, from Kuroko Tetsuya, and from the painful memories of Junior High School. He decided not to look back unless he would want to waver. He couldn't bring himself to see Kuroko –the one who had been occupying his mind and messing with his feelings.
If only Akashi realized that he had already done another mistake by not looking back, things would never end this way. There stood Kuroko, being left behind, silently watched as the red head figure walked away from his sight with blue-sky eyes watered in pain.
Under the vanilla scented breath and chapped lips, Kuroko Tetsuya whispered. "I love you, Akashi-kun"
extra pain:
Kuroko knew that his red head captain owned the ability to jump through time. He didn't get how and why he could decipher it, but Kuroko knew it very well. Those precise calculations, those never-once-fail precisions, and those expected responses from Akashi Seijurou. It was all clear as the blue sky for the observant Kuroko to know that Akashi was all along, playing with time.
And Kuroko wouldn't doubt it if Akashi was indeed had the knowledge of his feelings. Judging from their last conversation, Kuroko knew that maybe, maybe, in the parallel time, he already confessed his feelings toward Akashi. And got rejected.
Still, in the last and only confession attempt he had, it was obvious that Akashi dismissed his feelings. Kuroko knew that from all the gestures, Akashi disregard his feelings one way or another.
Kuroko knew Akashi didn't want him to confess –or to make an attempt of confession. And Kuroko would gladly comply to that wish.
Author's note:
Sorry. I can't get this plot out of my head *sobs*
AND OH MYGOD THIS IS MY FIRST FICT FOR MY OTP I AM SO FUCKED
Even in the canon timeline my otp is.. my baby akakuro is.. *dies*
Well, that's all from me, eheheh, I'm sorry for all the plot holes inside this fict and the grammatical errors. This fic is dedicated for my new friends on twitter: chii ( akakuros), fye ( fyenale), Jowee ( Jkxc), and alta ( reialta). I don't know if you guys will read this and I don't know if you guys ever consider me as a friend but let me tell you guys something 'I love you'
Oh! And for anyone who is willing to read this story, please do review this fict. I would like to know your responses and critics!
PS: now that I have a twitter acc ( fancyshipper), you guys can stalk and talk to me there eheheh I would like to have new friends. Let us sail together in this world :'DDDDD
ps: edited for reasons and will probrably be edited (again and again and again) in the next future
