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Please tell me if I should continue this story because I'm very lazy to type and stuff like that =.="
I should be able to update this more often because it's summer. (Oh nose!~)
Title: Unintentional Feelings
Chapter Title: Natsume
Summary: Curiousity kills the cat... But from what Mikan got herself into, there is no satisfaction. Natsume the cheater. (Period.) And on that same day Mikan realizes that he's cheating on her, she grows feelings for someone she has hated ever since she came to Gakuen Alice. He was the person who gave Natsume his pain, and he is the one to help guide Mikan through her dark tunnel of despair. NatsumexMikanxPersona. Don't mind the little twists here and there.
Mikan's POV
Everything was like an act.
A little play where I was the princess and he was the glass prince. He pretended to save me. He was the witch in the story, it turned out. I didn't like the play one bit. But as much as I hated it, I had the main role--and the person suffering. And unfortunately, I couldn't just run off the stage and strip off my costume.
How could he? I was a fool, falling for him. His soft hair, his cold glares, and most of all, his rare smiles. But our love was all faked. I loved him. He loved himself.
I tried to tell him. I tried to ask him what was wrong.
And now I know. It was guilt. The look was always on his face when he stared at me, pretending not to look. He felt guilt from betraying me behind my back. Why didn't I feel it before? Was it because I couldn't feel it? Or was it because I didn't want to feel it?
On the unforgettable day when he confessed, I thought that particular moment would never end. I was happy. He loved me like I loved him. We looked at each other's eyes and shared our passionate kiss. Under the Sakura Tree, petals blew delicately.
"I love you, Natsume-kun," I remembered saying. I regretted saying that. I regretted knowing him, loving him. Those words and the scene kept rewinding in my head.
I thought it was real.
Everything we have been through, everything and every moment we shared. We were unbreakable—or so it seemed and I thought. But nothing was what it seemed.
I am not me.
And he is not him.
I love him.
But he breaks my heart.
Tears. They flow down my face and onto the ground. Tears. They make me distressful and raging. They make me disgusted at myself.
He used me like how he used all the other girls. But I believed him and thought that what we shared was real. I thought it didn't matter as long as he was happy. I thought it didn't matter as long as he felt no wounds.
I knew where the wounds went. I knew where his happiness came from.
After taking missions in his place, I felt what he felt. But I had no happy-go-lucky person on my side. I only had myself and him—until he betrayed me. My gleefulness was drained from me and he soaked it up. He had a peaceful life now, especially since I won't bother him anymore.
The weather came to my control and pitied me. It rained.
I needed no pity. I need him. I need his warmth. I need his emotions. I need his personality. I needed his love.
And pain. It was what I was feeling, not him. After all I did to him. I was the one in the end. I am the only one able o feel pain. Only me.
I hated God. He is too cruel. I hated Natsume. He broke my heart. I hated everyone. They don't feel what I feel and never will. I hated myself. I hated hate. Where is my love? Why am I the only one to never feel true love? Why can't I feel love, but only hate?
Rain began pouring down even more. Everyone was inside, comfortable and relaxed. They have no problems like I have.
"Natsume..." I whispered. I longed to hear him call my name back. I urged for his kiss. I wanted what I had. I wanted happiness. If I had obeyed my grandfather... If I had never followed the bitch of a friend, Imai Hotaru... If I had never heard of Gakuen Alice. Then I would've been free.
"Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought him back," I remembered. But there was nothing to be satisfied about. What I discovered in Gakuen Alice was love, hope, more happiness, pity, anger, and hate. But most of all, fakeness.
Everything is fake. Nothing could be trusted.
"Mikan," I voice called out to me.
"W-what?" I turned around and saw Natsume. His hair was nicely wetted, not too much, but just enough to make him look like an angel. His clothes were like that too, and showed off his muscles and body. I almost reached out and touched him
"It is time for your mission," said a cold, raspy voice.
My image of Natsume disappeared and in its place was Persona.
"Persona," I said with my jaws clenched and teeth gritted.
He lifted my chin up. "My, my, look who's been crying."
I shook away from him. "It's j-just the rain," I lied.
He smirked. "It better be. You know that we must not show any emotions. We must conceal ourselves of weakness." Then he took a whip out of nowhere and whacked me with it. "Your punishment for lying and not obeying. Don't make it happen again."
I tried to dodge, but was too slow and weak. I nodded. "Yes, sir."
Why wasn't Natsume punished? He was always profusely and pointedly showing his emotions.
Bitterness was what I tasted in my mouth, besides blood that I licked off my wounds.
Persona snickered, handed the information for the mission over, and leaned closer to me. He pushed me agaisnt a tree, softly, but with a harsh meaning. "Be careful, darling. And heed my words, for I don't want you to get too many gashes and wounds. You are a very sensitive piece or art. And I still love you, you know?"
I wanted to push him away. I wanted to kick him. I wanted to kill him. But who exactly was him? Natsume or Persona? But it didn't matter for that I was far too weak and tired to fight or do anything at all. I closed my eyes. What would he do to me now? I remembered when Persona first "confessed" his love to me. I thought he was joking. I almost laughed, but I knew that Persona never joked or kid around. And almost, too, I felt like crying. Almost. What would he do to me?
And as if he read my mind, Persona pulled his weight over mine. I wish I didn't feel what I felt. I hoped it was just my sense of touch trying to trick me. But, I doubted it. I had just felt something hard below the waist. I stifled a muffle. Despite what I wanted to think, I had to admit to myself. It felt good. Persona got ready for his next move and he caressed my face gently. I froze at his touch. It wasn't like Persona to act and touch people like this. I felt a sensational feeling rising on the back of my spine. And oddly enough, it was the same feeling when Natsume kissed me. Did I feel the same way for Persona as Natsume?
'No, it is impossible. I know I love Natsume and only Natsume...' But my thoughts faltered away soon as I felt Persona licked my lips.
I moaned intentionally. Then to my realization, my mouth was wide open, undefended from Persona's attack.
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