Author's Starting Notes: This is a completely raw, unedited story I wrote back in 2013, but unfortunately erased due to file corruption. I've managed to recover it from the files in my computer and have decided to reupload it for the sake of my own curiosity. Although the editor inside me, as well as the writer who has gained 3 more years of experience, demands that I tear this story apart and rewrite the living daylights out of it, I plan to hold off on editing it until people express an interest towards it. With that, I certainly hope it is at least entertaining for all who bother to read it, and I encourage any criticism of note.

Chapter 1

"A funeral." It was not a question, but more of a demand.

"Yeah," came the awkward, hesitant reply. Engineer uneasily interlaced his fingers together as he rocked back and forth on his heels, staring at his feet. An exasperated sigh slithered from the other end of the line, and Engineer could practically see the Administrator pinching the bridge of her nose in annoyance. He swallowed thickly as her voice hissed out in a cold, unhappy drawl.

"I should have been told sooner."

"I understand that, ma'am. But unfortunately, due to the, uh, short notice, I'll have to take my leave this afternoon. For the legal papers and such."

There was a long, silent pause on the other end, and Engineer flexed his sweaty palms, tongue darting out to lick his dry lips. His forehead grew uncomfortably hot under his helmet, slowly growing moister by the second. The Texan didn't know why he was so nervous; the Administrator simply had that awful quality of stiffening a man's spine and bringing sweat to his brow seconds after he heard her chilling voice. Her cold, unpleasant intonation was a constant prodding to any mistake the RED mercenaries had made. Engineer tried not to hold a conversation with her as much as he could. Unfortunately, this was one of the rare occasions.

"Fine," came her crisp voice, still laden with irritation. Engineer felt his shoulders rise slightly, chest swelling in sudden triumph. He didn't expect her to agree so easily! He found himself battling the urge to whoop in heightened delight and dance in place like a school boy who was just released from his class. Her voice, however, continued, and removed his elation as quickly as it came.

"But your absence will cost you your replacement, especially with the difficulty of even providing one." Engineer's thrill diminished, and his face was set back to its grim frown. There was the Administrator that he knew, decking his pay and relinquishing any chance at playing poker with the boys for at least a month.

Engineer forced himself to ignore his disappointment, nodded reluctantly, and then remembered that she couldn't see him. "Yeah," he grumbled, shrugging off his dissatisfaction. "Thanks for that." The line went dead in an instant, the low insistent hum of the phone resonating from the comm. No "you're welcome". No pleasantries. Simply business.

The Texan sighed as he removed the devise from his ear, pocketing it before snatching his small bag of luggage. His face fell into a depressed frown as he hoisted up his luggage, his stomach still as cold and heavy as when he received the phone call for the funeral. It was his mother's, who had suddenly died from a heart attack. There was no tragic sickness. No death bed or pre-mourning stages. She simply kicked the bucket when her heart stopped beating as she strolled through the neighborhood park. The Texan was not close with her but the loss still pained him. And he imagined the heavy weight in his midsection would remain for some time, no matter how many times he pounded at it. Engineer sighed again, rubbing his gloved-hand over his face.

"It's gonna be a long week."

The Administrator rubbed her chin thoughtfully as she thumbed through the pile of papers stacked on her desk. Her eyebrows were knitted together as her lips curled into a thin line. She settled into the seat of her desk, glancing idly at Miss Pauling, who set the mug of coffee at the edge of the table before retreating back to her own desk. The Administrator huffed in irritation as she flipped through each slip of paper.

Curse the man's sentiment! She needed him on the battlefield, not meandering into sappy, depressing gatherings for the dead. The dead were dead, and did not require a final party in their honor. Besides, the Engineer was a skilled mercenary with a sharp mind—practically the reason why she hired him. His works were brilliant and he was worth more than ten ordinary soldiers. It would be difficult to replace him with the correct mercenary; none held such a defensive skill and yet fortified offence. Except…

Her eyes lit up when a file was revealed at the base of the papers. Silently she pulled it out, opening the golden cover. Her lips quirked into a sly grin as she scanned the information printed in long, detailed paragraphs, the smirk growing wider as she read each sentence. She chuckled slightly once she looked upon the photograph paper-clipped onto the sleeve, feeling pleased with herself. Setting the file down, she snatched her phone and dialed the required number. After several moments, the Administrator heard a soft click and a confirming voice.

"Y'ello~~~?"

The Administrator leaned back in her chair, still fingering the photo in her hands. "Hello, Mrs. Peers. I'd like to make a proposition for you…"

"So, when's Hardhat comin' back?" Scout splayed his body across the crimson couch, hat tipped over his eyes as he tossed a baseball into the air, the object whistling above before soaring back down. Scout caught it and repeated the action. Sniper sat in a chair next to him, cleaning the barrel of his rifle, the other disembodied parts of the weapon scattered over the wooden table, waiting to be cleaned as well. Pyro wandered in and out of the room, obviously lost without the Engineer's company. Distant roars from the hall confirmed Demoman and Soldier's location, apparently consuming large amounts of alcohol in the kitchen. Medic remained in his usual lab, conducting whatever maddening experiment he saw fit. Heavy and Spy were nowhere to be found.

Sniper sighed as he sipped coffee from his '#1 Sniper' cup, setting his barrel down as he shrugged. " 'aven't a clue, mate. Shouldn't take longer than a week."

Scout groaned dramatically, sitting up with the baseball clasped in his hands. "A week? We have ta hang with Engie's replacement for a week? Ya gotta be kiddin' me!" The teenager proceeded to then pout, crossing his arms and sitting back with his lip curved in annoyance.

A ghost of a smile touched Sniper's lips as he proceeded to clean his scope. Scout acted just his age—loud, moody, and bloody annoying. He could chatter for hours, mostly about baseball, and not look the least bit tired, while his peers held massive headaches, several with a heightening temper and lust for blood. He didn't blame the boy; he knew all teenagers held the energy and excitement that had drained from the older men over the years. In fact, Sniper imagined he was much like Scout at his age, if not a bit more naïve. But it was incredibly amusing to see the boy worked up over the absence of Engineer and his replacement. Personally, Sniper felt the same. He didn't like the change in his team, no matter how temporary; it disrupted the team's efficiency with a newbie with no experience and no gained respect.

Sniper shrugged as he took another sip from his mug. "Aye, you'll just 'ave to bare it, mate." It wasn't advice just for Scout.

Scout stared at the ceiling in silence with his lip still curled, and Sniper continued the tedious task of removing any and all grime from his scope. They were left to listen to the boisterous shouts of Demo and Soldier, which came as regularly as the chatter from a radio. However, Heavy's massive voice suddenly boomed across the base, causing the two men to jump.

"New teammate is here!" Scout and Sniper shared a surprised glance and the voices of the two drunks halted. The replacement was here already? There was a pause of shocked silence before they heard the click of a door and Heavy's voice rumbling in confirmation. "Da," was all they heard before the rumbling of boots against the floor overwhelmed the voices. Scout and Sniper scrambled out from their seats in exaggerated haste and bolted toward the voices.

Immediately, questions rushed into Sniper's head like a tidal wave. What would this replacement look like? What would he prefer to be called? Was he skilled in anyway? What country was he from? Of course, these questions had developed the moment he was informed that a replacement would take over Engineer's job, but they emerged once again as Sniper made his way down the hall. He wanted these questions answered.

When he reached the front, a circle had accumulated around Heavy and the unknown mercenary. Sniper expected chatter or at least a murmur of awkward welcoming, but heard none to his surprise. He stared at five of his teammates' backs to find each still and stiff as a wooden board. He shoved his way through them to find their faces utterly blank, if not partially widened in shock. Furrowing his eyebrows in puzzlement, Sniper finally squeezed through the men and looked to the center of the circle. He could not keep his breath from sucking in with bewilderment as well.

It was a girl. Incredibly short—practically dwarfed by Heavy's bulk—her arms were thin and bare, tanned slightly by the sun. Her hair was long and red, tossed over one tiny shoulder, and her eyes were a bright green, beholding a curved face. Her lips were thin, but a more attractive sight than the reptilian lips of their Administrator. She couldn't have been more than five feet and one hundred and eight pounds. But it wasn't her size that alarmed Sniper.

It was her clothes. If they could be called that. The Australian saw her shorts more as red underwear with two-inch long pant-legs, and she wore…a bra? Perhaps a bathing suit top to some, but to Sniper it was practically a woman's undergarments. Her boots were long and reached to just below her knee, and Sniper wondered who in the blazes the designer of that was. To behold whatever modesty she had left, she wore an unbuttoned jean jacket, which concealed two gun holders hanging from beneath her armpits.

His dignity as a gentleman on the line, Sniper struggled to look away. But instead, his eyes met hers. There was something…off about her gaze. Brimming with some unidentified emotion. It wasn't happiness, although many could mistake it for such. It was…something more. He couldn't name it, but whatever it was, it unsettled him. Made his insides squirm. He immediately felt uncomfortable under her unblinking gaze and he looked away.

The room was silent for several moments, an air of tense awkwardness hanging about. Unsurprisingly, it was Scout who broke the tension.

"Hey!" he cried in his Bostonian accent. He extended a hand to the girl, smiling lopsidedly. "Welcome to the RED team!" The girl stared at his hand for a moment, before smiling and taking his hand. Everyone stiffened further at the gleam in her eyes as their insides twisted again. Scout's smile wavered for a moment before returning back to its original state. "Erm, I guess you'll want to get settled?" He pointed to her bag, which was massive and bulky. The girl continued to stare at the teen with an unblinking gaze, the smile still plastered on her face. He swallowed. "R-right…" Hesitantly, he grabbed her bag and pushed through the men, the mercenary bounding after him. Not one pair of eyes left her form until she turned around the corner, her hair trailing behind her. Even as Scout's voice and the patter of footsteps faded, the four men remained silent and still for several more minutes.

"She…is Engie's replacement?" Sniper finally whispered. She looked as if she could barely hold a wrench, let alone build a dispenser or sentry. Had their Administrator gone insane? Or did she simply want to amuse herself as the BLU team slaughtered them in minutes?

It seemed the rest of his team felt the same. "Well…we're dead tomorrow," Demoman grumbled in his drunken slur. "The wee lass might as well be a newborn pup. She can't 'elp us."

Soldier angrily shook his head, the helmet sliding around with the sudden movement. "That ain't a soldier! That's a disgrace to this team! We aren't a baby-sitting unit! We might as well be another man down!" The American then began to rant on the principles of manhood and how women simply should not be in the army due to their soft interior and exterior. Pyro began to babble behind his mask, but none of the mercenaries could understand him. Sniper drowned out the angry voice of Soldier with his horrifying thoughts, wondering how they could possibly survive against the BLU team without their Engineer. It was hopeless. They would be utterly humiliated for the rest of the week with the tiny girl cowering behind a corner. He felt a warmth envelop his shoulder, and the Sniper looked back. Heavy stood behind him with a massive hand over the Australian's shoulder. The Russian's expression was horrified as he stared at the wall in which the girl retreated behind, shaking his head.

"Little girl is too skinny. She cannot carry dispenser like Engineer."

Sniper swallowed thickly and nodded in agreement. A cold, sharp worry buried itself deep into Sniper's abdomen, the chill spreading across his limbs like running water. What were they going to do?