As of late all I can dream of is ancient battles even when I would think the memory of gunfire and explosions should be what haunts my dreams. I still dream of my brother dying but instead of a roadside bomb, it's a sword in his chest. The lose of the only family I truly ever had much less known. The only time I have peace in these dreams is when I see a back of a man's head while he has long wavy hair always seemed to be pulled back from his face even if I do not remember such a thing.
I'm pulled from my thoughts when I hear my roommate's voice yell through my bedroom door, "Agron, wake the fuck up I need you to man the gym for me."
"You mean deal with your clients while you and Mira fuck the day away."
"Well yes. 1, I'm sure you're just jealous that I actually have a sex life and 2 she's only back here for the long weekend than she goes back off to deal with her family."
I lay there looking at my ceiling until I look at the side of my bed where I have a few pictures one of a group pictures of those I served with while in the Army, one of my brother and I holding up our shaved off dreadlocks from after we signed on, and a second that was taken a few weeks ago of us at the gym. I sigh knowing what I should do, but I'd rather not be here when the 2 of them have their reunion.
"Fine, but you owe me beer and not seeing or hearing the 2 of you having sex."
"I can definitely try the first 2, but hearing is a bit difficult."
I roll my eyes as I get out of bed to get dressed not bothering with a shower for I'll take one when I finish up with Spartacus' clients for the day. I pull everything on I throw together my gym bag. As I pick up the bag I grab my brother and my dog tags slipping them last around my neck as I do every day if I don't take them off.
As I make my way to the door to grab my shoes I hear Spart yell at me, "It's supposed to be cold out so grab a coat this time will ya."
I look back at his room letting go of a slight laugh as I pull on my old army jacket, "Yes, mom. I'll take a fucking coat. Be sure to cook me dinner."
Spartacus ignores my last comment as he shouts, "Oh by the way the longest and first client is Nasir. He's in decent shape, but a shit fighter. "
"Okay, so he's doing what the basics," I call out to Spart as I walk to the kitchen to take pictures of the grocery list knowing I'll be told to take it plus my idiot of a fucking roommate always forgets it and half of what's on it.
"Just grab my binder off the table in the kitchen. I have folders with all my clients so I'm sure you'll do fine. Oh and grab the grocery list while you're in there."
Oh for fuck's sake, why do I have such a useless roommate? I silently make my way out of the apartment ignoring whatever else Spartacus has to say to me.
I quickly make my way to the gym signing in as Spartacus and pass Oenomaus where he slaps me on the back in our passing. Then I spot Barca flirting with his latest interest Pietros glad that they aren't groping each other maybe they finally fucked. I shake my head not wanting to even think of anything along those lines. I happily walk into the empty locker room where I change and take out Nasir's part of the binder along with a pencil and clipboard. Ugh, I feel like a fucking gym coach instead of a personal trainer for the day. I make my way to the front desk to ask Naevia to see if she has an idea who this Nasir person is. I see Oenomaus talking with a man with olive skin and glossy long black hair pulled partly back. A flash of a face turning towards me with soft eyes that only mean love and a small secret smile gracing his lips. I shake my head again wondering if I'm finally going crazy.
Oenomaus spots me and waves me over with a sigh, "As I was telling you Spartacus took off some time last minute so Agron here will be taking over for him. Just treat him as you would Spartacus and you should be good. Agron respects people that can lay him on his back," don't make a joke there, "or at least keep up with his training when he does work here."
I roll my eyes at Oenomaus trying to keep most of my thoughts to myself, "Nice to meet you, you must be Nasir."
He nods as he looks at my hand that I stuck out to shake. Oenomaus chuckles, "Don't take it personally he has issues trusting people much like yourself when you don't have to put on that face of yours. Just make sure you don't cause a fight again, Agron. I'd hate to have to kick you off property again for a bit."
I roll my eyes at him and watch as Gannicus walks into the gym, "Yeah, cause that works so well for Gannicus."
Oenomaus sighs as he looks at his old friend with a disapproving look on his face, "Yeah, well stay away from that one Nasir he's a handful drunk and sober and I don't need his girlfriend beating someone up again."
I nod my head silently agreeing I mean I've known Saxa for a long time so she leaves alone when Gannicus first hit on me or any of the other guys, but anyone she doesn't know.
Nasir looks at Gannicus and nods his head, "he's not my type anyways," I hear him mumble.
I look Nasir over and I can't help but think he is a beauty. A bit my type I'd guess, not that I have much of a type if you look at my few exes.
"Alright, Go change and then I'll meet you next to the boxing ring."
He looks at me confused but he shrugs his shoulders and walks to the locker room and I open the paperwork for him and sigh shaking my head. I look over the plan Spartacus had set out for him and truthfully have no idea how to do any training with him. I look over to see that Spartacus usually starts him off with a bit of working out punches and kicks with the bag, then moves to a practice with him, then weights… What the fuck is this guy thinking he's pushing himself way to fucking hard with this? I see no notes that would be anything but on his training and about it. When I watch Nasir walk out in his workout clothes. I point to the wall and he follows me over.
"So Nasir can you talk to me about your training with Spartacus. I mean I have his notes here, but that's about it. He has some notes on your process, but not much else. So tell me a bit about your goals and I'll see if I can figure out what the idiot was thinking of."
I watch a small smile grace his lips, "That's true. He always seemed like he was trying to train himself than me."
"Then he must have seen a shadow of himself in you. Trust me the idiot likes the try to see the best in people. How about you tell me what your goals could be?"
"Well I just want to get into shape and learn a bit of fighting," the last part about fighting is almost whispered.
"There's more to it than just wanting to fight. It almost sounds like you want to learn to more so protect yourself."
He nods his head, "Yeah, let's just say people aren't exactly the nicest."
"That I know. I actually got back a few months ago from serving overseas. I've seen the good and bad in all kinds of people especially after losing my brother."
He nods his head, "I had lost my brother when I was younger. I just I've been beaten up most of my life and I'm tired of people thinking they can push me around."
I nod as I smile a bit at him, "Alright, let's see what we can do. How about we start with how it usually starts off as and sees where it takes us."
He nods his head as he walks over to the punching bag. I give him tips wondering how the fuck Spartacus training this guy. I mean Spartacus has a lot more talent at this then I. I rely on my strength though I've been told I should have gone into being seals instead of the army. I've been told by my old commanding officer if I ever feel up to it I should join up again and take it from there or whatever the hell.
I pat Nasir's back when he finally seems to tire of the punching bag looking at me with wide eyes, "I hurt for once. How the hell am I hurting?"
I chuckle as I look him over, "Well maybe cause I focused on what you were having problems with instead of focusing on what you're good at."
He nods looking down at the gym floor, "So are we going to practice those moves on a real person?"
I nod my head as I move my head towards the mats, "Let's go over there and see how well you do at executing them."
We work on his executions of everything that he knows and he's not so bad at them.
"Come on Little Man you can do better than that."
I watch Nasir's eyebrow raise slightly at what I called him but that's about it. Still, I swear I hear a voice say, "Call me such and they shall turn from you." I sigh as I shake my head and I watch the smaller man look up at me with his own little eyebrow raise.
"So shall we start with the weights and such to finish the day?" I joke knowing he won't have much of a choice in the matter if he wants to or not.
As he starts with weights and me kind of sit back and keep on eye on him not because I'm checking him out at all… well, maybe a little. As the time frame starts to cut down and I know that I don't have another person for another few hours we stop and I watch as Nasir takes deep gulps of water from his bottle. We make our way out and I quickly pull the smaller man from Gannicus' reach when we pass him. I watch the older man pout like a fucking child as we pass him by, but there was something playful in his eyes. I shake my head not sure if I want to really shower if I have a few more clients for the day plus whatever is piled up for homework. 26 years old and I'm still going to school to be god knows what. I had such a clear idea until Duro died and I became a little lost.
I sigh as I nod to Nasir in the locker room grabbing one of the books I grabbed hoping to try to understand my dream of fighting ancient Romans. I fucking hate Romans. I wave to Naevia wondering if Crixus will stop by for a visit to see how his pregnant wife is doing. Oenomaus looks at me as I sit down at a table in the breakroom that he had set up for the trainers and such.
"I heard you mentioned your brother to Nasir that's a bit rare." I shrug as I look over the book more, "What are you reading today? Last week it was a book on gladiators this week it's…?"
I sigh as I hold the book up, "just a book about battles that took place around the time period of gladiators is all. I'm not sure why but I dream of that instead of that of the war I barely got down fighting."
Oenomaus sighs as he sits down across from me, "Agron you just got home only half a year ago a year after your brother had died. Do you really want to question it when it's probably a blessing?"
I shrug as I look up, "I dreamt that instead of holding my brother while he bled to death from the bomb cause he pushed me out of the way. I dreamt of him pushing me away from being stabbed by some kind of sword."
Oenomaus nods his head as he says to me, "I can see why you'd be curious about this, but couldn't it just be your mind trying to deal with everything that went on over there."
I look at him in distaste as I know he's right, "I know. It must be, butI just remembers Duro all the time joke with me that I had to have been a gladiator in another life with how brutish I had been before you found us out on the streets. You made us more human than most of the foster homes we were placed it could ever do."
Oenomaus laughs as he looks at me, "you're making me feel old it's only been about 10 years. You were 16 at the time as were the rest of them."
I nod my head as he looks at me, "It's been that long and all I have to think is how much you've changed and grown since all that."
I smirk at him slightly as I look at him, "If you say so."
"So you remember what happened after your brother died in that IED you were in a bad place. I'm sure if Spartacus wasn't serving with you, you'd probably be dead or something. You became a bit destructive. Can you just try to let go of that part of your past?"
I give him a look before I sigh sliding down in my chair, "I swear I'm going fucking crazy."
Oenomaus gives me a look, "you're friends with most of the people here… you gotta be some kind of crazy."
I look at him and he starts laughing and I shake my head, "Very funny, but I swear I had met Nasir before like been together."
I get a look before he simply stands up while saying, "Whatever you say. I have paperwork to finish up if I want to make it to my daughter's recital on time for once."
"Ohh… yeah, am I still invited to your son's football game this weekend?"
"Of course if I thought you'd make it to the recital you'd be invited, but I know you have a lot of other work to do."
I groan as I look at him, "Don't remind me. So much fucking paperwork to fill out."
Going through the rest of the day went rather quick and when i walk into the apartment with some groceries knowing that Spartacus didn't get any of the shit we really needed. I sigh when i walk through the door to see Mira and Spartacus making out on the couch.
I look them over as I startle them as I say, "Well at least there's clothing and barely any groping this time. Please tell me there's food after dealing with your fucking clients."
"Well my clients aren't that bad," Spartacus yells at me as I flick him off as I walk into the kitchen.
"Yes, they fucking are. Do you know after Nasir all of your fucking clients had tried to feel me up?"
"They don't usually do that… for the most part, must have been putting off some pheromones or something then."
I can't find the energy to fight with him at all right now. I simply sigh in relief when I see a large plate of food in the microwave waiting for me to heat up for myself. As I shovel the food in I ignore Mira and Spartacus' giddiness since they had gotten over Spartacus' baby momma that he had slept with a lil bit before they had started really dating.
"Fucking people," I mumble to myself as I finish and clean my dishes. I grab my bags making my way to my room for I can try to get some kind of work done.
Pulling my phone and headphones out I start my music playlist. I reach up and grab the dog tags not sure what I'm supposed to be thinking or feeling right now.
"Fucking life sucks," I mumble again as I finish everything I can before I jump into my bed hoping I got enough done that I deserve this well rested night. I dream of arms wrapped around me and gentle breathing on my neck as someone sleeps the time away in my arms. I feel a calmness overcome me for the first time in almost 2 years. Before I woke up I swore I felt a gentle press of lips against my own and a whisper of "I love you."
To say that my days went from downhill after that peaceful dream night is an understatement. It all became a shit show. The nightmares came back and I had to deal with Spartacus complain about his clients even more since a few of them apparently have a thing for me. I sigh as I look at my door being slammed open. I look behind me at Spartacus standing there trying to get my attention.
"What the fuck do you want?"
"I need you to have Nasir become a client of yours at the gym? Do you know how much he improved that 1 day you took over for me? It's ridiculous. Also, he had asked if it would be something you'd do. I said we'd have to take it up with you, but if he really wanted to he could just ask Oenomaus, but he didn't want to put you in a situation where you would have to do something that you didn't really want to do."
I sigh knowing I'm probably going to regret this, "Sure. How often does he train?"
"He does when he's not working or taking classes. I think it's only really Monday's and Fridays he can really do any training instead you know simple workouts. Look you had really helped him improve he could be amazing if you took over."
I sigh as I nod my head, "Fine. I'll do so. I only do part time training at the gym anyways those days cause I don't have to work or have any classes. By the way, if my boss calls I've been sick."
"Oh, what happened this time?"
"I might have knocked Lugo out for being a smartass…. Again."
"Seriously why haven't they fired you…?"
"I'm not sure besides I get the most work done at that fucking station. Maybe that's why they give me so few shifts as of late."
"Yeah, the chief must be tired of your bullshit."
I chuckle as I look at the time, "Speaking of work and of the chief i believe I need to hurry to the station before he decides to fire me."
"Then who will carry Lugo's fat ass out of a fiery building when he's being an idiot… again."
To say when Friday rolls around and I have agreed on a time to do a training session with Nasir I feel almost dead. The dreams have been bloodier than usual and that's a whole lot to say and every time I feel like I'm missing a serious piece of myself. The dream I had still rings in my ears and I want to have a fucking drink, but Oenomaus might kill me for going to his gym drunk we already have to deal with a drunk Gannicus almost daily.
Still, when I see Nasir walk into the gym all I hear is the words, "You can see it in my eyes there is no other love like ours."
I wipe the stupid smile off my face as I tell Nasir we are to begin at the punching bags again. As we work I stop Nasir simply to tell him bluntly, "You look like shit."
"Well thanks." he looks at his hands as he asks, "Do you think I'd be considered shit?"
"No, from what I know of you. I'd say you are the opposite and people tell you the opposite than fuck them."
He chuckles as he looks at me as he seems to lead us over an empty far wall as he slides down it. I see a hint of a bruise on his neck and I tilt his head so I can get a better look.
"What the fuck happened?"
Nasir sighs, "My ex the reason I decided I needed to learn how to fight. Though he does have a wrist broken in 3 different areas plus I finally am able to put a restraining order on him so all is well. Plus I've been having these weird dreams all month and it's driving me fucking crazy."
"I know where you're coming from there, but something else is bothering you?"
"Would you have someone you love turn from you?"
I look at him not sure what to say besides what I truly thought, "You know I was going to be a navy seal when I first signed up to fight for my country, but then my brother signed up at well. I did everything I could to be in the same squad as him cause it has always been my duty to look after him. The scar on my chest is not that of a war scar, but of a scar, I had received in a fight in this city where some punk kid tried to stab my brother but instead, he had simply slashed me. Duro was all I had in this world even with all the friends and family that I have. So when he first signed up we got into a huge fight about it all, but soon we both caved in. He joined in and if he hadn't who knows maybe I'd be dead. Maybe I wouldn't cause I would probably been a different area when that RV drove over that IED. I remember the sound of the bullets hitting our rv's I barely remember much else it all becomes a blur until I'm holding my brother bleeding and dying in my arms. You know what the little fuck had told me. He told me that it was his time to save me. The stupid fucking kid. So yes, I think I would try to turn someone I love from me if it meant that they could survive."
"What if someone would try to take them from you?"
"Then not even all the gods in this world would be able to save them. Though I still never understand the idea of going to war for love. For fighting for love."
"That's cause you've never been. Love is a bright thing that can change our very view of life until something comes in and changes it all. Though chasing love doesn't always get you in the right place."
I lift his face up with gentle fingers under his chin, "Chin up. Life is fucked up and the only thing you can do is a soldier on. Now let's get someone on one practice in. I'm sure we both could use that distraction."
Weeks pass and soon it's not just twice a week I see Nasir. We message each other practically daily and hang out outside of the gym at least a couple times during the week. My nightmares are almost gone. I mean sure there are dreams of blood every once in awhile, but it's nothing that I can live with if the dreams end with a gentle feeling of someone wrapping their arms around me as if telling me that I'm okay… that I'll be okay.
I jolt awake when I feel someone jumps onto my bed and I look to see Mira smiling like a fucking imp she is.
"What the fuck Mira? I was fucking sleeping or have you gone blind since the last time I saw you," I growl at her.
She chuckles as she pokes my side, "Well I came back a bit early when I heard that my friend Nasir seemed to be spending time with a fucking giant of a brute. I knew it just had to be you. I figured you might tell me when the 2 of you started fucking?"
I lift my head up again to look at her, "We're not fucking we're friends. Now if you would fuck off. I'd like to catch some more sleep before I have to go to work."
"Oh… you're on shift today that's rare. You usually only work the later shifts."
"I'm covering for Lugo. The idiot got himself hurt during a drill like the fucking idiot that he is."
She nods her head smiling sadly, "Alright. Though Agron you know it's alright to speak German even if it's not with your brother anymore."
I flick her off before I check my phone for the time and realize that there's no point in trying to catch any more sleep if I need to be up in about an hour. I simply open up my computer and turn on the first thing I find on Netflix that will be more background noise for the next hour. Yet when I catch what I pick I curse, but can't find it in myself to turn it off. It's a lot like my dreams in a way and I can't help but want to remember something that's in the back of my mind. I shake my head turning it off before I go crazy with whatever the hell I can't seem to remember. This seems to displease me even more. I guess I can get some work done and then head off to the firehouse to pass the time. The day has been boring to say the least and only seems to better when I'm messaging Nasir about random little things. I complain about being purchased to cover for Lugo, but mostly cause the guy has a habit of getting on my nerves, but he does so with everyone that crosses his path.
As I leave my room I stop and put my hand on my chest where my tags should be, but they are not there. I check on my dresser and even the nail I had placed by the door for I can hang them, but they are not there.
"Spartacus, where the fuck are my tags?" I call out ready to cause damage if I must.
"I do not know. I don't think you had them on when you came back from drinking with Nasir maybe he knows," he calls back and as he does so I can hear Mira giggle.
That woman drives me crazy. I pull out my phone and message Nasir about my tags. I'm glad that I was able to talk Spartacus into doing a small amount of workout equipment. Though my favorite has to be our small little punching bag that we need to replace at least once a year cause I've been known to bust them open after a few spouts of anger. When my phone starts ringing I sigh.
"Hello."
"Ahh.. Yeah, I have your tags. They got yanked off during a fight at the bar last night so I held onto them and forgot to give them back. Do you want me to drop them off today?"
"No… no, it's fine. I'll get them from you tomorrow."
"Alright, I'll talk to you later than Agron."
By the time I got to the fire station and we got our first call I have to say that the day isn't something that I had enjoyed. It seems everyone that I'm close with decides to pick on me since Mira had told them that I had been okay with Nasir holding onto my dog tags. Still, when we're called to a fire we work as if there's not at least a little of an annoyance between any of us. The fire is probably the worst we've dealt with in a long while, but I still go in one more time to make sure that no one is left inside. I won't let another person die on my watch. I make it to a bit of a higher floor careful where I find a little girl curled up in a corner crying out for her parents. How I get her out the window I'm not completely sure. Yet when the floor gives out all I can think of is Nasir and the dreams of ancient Rome where he's with me as well.
Flashes of the battles and the pain that had been received, but when I find myself throwing a jug of wine into the wall to have Nasir stop me. I find myself staring into his eyes. Where we yell at each other.
"The Cilician over-stepped. Yet, your response was-"
"Was as it fucking should be! Jupiter himself would find cause to tremble if he laid hands upon you."
"You would battle a god for me?"
"I would slay all who would lay attempt to wrest you from my arms."
"Strike Jupiter and the Cilician from mind. I would have them of no concern to the one that holds my heart."
So much more flashes until I find myself holding Nasir's face in my hands. He's smiling sadly at me with tears in his eyes as he says to me, "Do not ask me to turn from you"
"I ask only that you live. And wrest what joy that yet may be found under remaining days." "For my heart will never beat for another."
So much blood and gore and trying to turn from him hoping that he'd live and hoping he'll keep his promise that he belongs at my side forever where he plans to stay
"When do you think he'll wake?" I hear a distressed Nasir ask.
"The doctor said he wasn't sure that the fact that he's alive with close to little injury is surprising. Sorry, it took so long to get ahold of you. Mira had just left and Agron's phone is locked. I had to go to Oenomaus to find your number. Though he seems to be doing much better with you here."
"Do you think this is my fault? I had his tags with him and he had always said that they are like his protection charm."
I hear Spartacus laugh a bit, "No, I do not think that what caused this. Agron has made it his first thought in mind to help all those who can even when he acts like his heart is that of stone. It doesn't help that his sleep is not that much of sleep. He has nightmares that he won't talk about. He says before he wakes there's something that calms him and they no longer bother him, but I'm not all that sure he's telling the truth. He has had this emptiness to himself lately that's even worse after his brother died and when he came back home. I wish I could help him like you have Nasir. I'm not sure what you're doing, but please continue it. I need to check in with everyone telling them how he's doing. It's been a few days since the fire and he's not really getting better like we all were hoping he would. How about you stay here and if anything changes you give us a call I'll stop by later with some dinner."
I don't need to open my eyes to know Nasir nods and Spartacus squeezes his shoulder.
My eyes start to droop and I hear the words, "You promised that no one would be able to wrest me from your arms, but they seem to do so when you leave them. I'm not sure what I'll do, all I know is that my place is forever by your side even in this life as it was the last."
I want to open my eyes, but I'm just too tired to do so.
"I guess it would not matter for you would not remember. Even if Zeus had created humans the way he had and split us all in half cursing us to travel the earth looking for our other half. I had always thought that to be you, but I'm sure the Fates sure love torturing me don't they."
"Fuck the Fates, Fuck the Gods. For have we yet to let them stand in our way in any life much like the first."
"Still thank the gods for bringing you back to my arms."
I groan as I try to move and I notice how Nasir is pushing me down to the bed where I can feel that my tags are back around my neck. I smile as I tried place my hand over his, "So you had those dreams as well."
Nasir nods his head as he looks at me, "I had asked the gods not to let you be taken from me in our first life. I prayed that you wouldn't, but if so then let me spend more lives to come where I can be with you. I guess that was answered."
I smile as I pull his head to mine where we place our foreheads together before he kisses me. I smile up at him, "Well I guess I should thank Mira and Spartacus for their helpfulness in this."
"Well, I'm friends with Mira so we would have met eventually you'd think."
I sigh, "Yes… Mira, please keep parts of our relationship private from her this time."
Nasir looks at me as he gives me the same smile he had back in Rome, "I can try, but I make no promises. Now I think our friends deserves a call to tell them that you're awake." I groan and Nasir chuckles as he sets his head on my forehead again, "I know, but they are our friends I guess we can say. They have been worried about you as have I. you've been asleep for several days since falling a bit after that floor gave out on you."
"How long have you been here?" I ask him as I look for a glass of water.
"A while. It took Spartacus to get ahold of me since he had to get Oenomaus or Mira to get my number. Which is odd cause you'd think they would? He had to tell them that you were in the hospital to get it. So when i got here let's say the hospital was not very pleased with the number of people that were here that aren't family. Oenomaus had to chew a doctor's ear off to get them to shut up and tell everyone how you are doing. Then they said I was your boyfriend so I got to go in."
"Well then I might actually have to thank everyone when I see them."
