Yeah, I don't really know. This just sort of happened.
Come nightfall, his texts and calls began to flash on her phone. And she would take them, of course. Perhaps with a subsequent groan or an eye roll here and there, but Jade West accepted the calls and blistered her fingers by typing endless text messages. Stay up half the night wringing her fingers through disheveled hair, and transferring advice through a raspy voice.
Beck Oliver had been confused at this sudden spark of friendship between his girlfriend and Robbie Shapiro. She would dismiss herself from the RV and take paced strolls at dusk within the confines of the Oliver's drive way, placing the receiver against her shoulder, and shooing Beck to the indoors each time he wandered out of the trailer to "check on her."
He was ignorant to the reason behind it until he practically begged it out of Jade. She provided him with short and snippy responses originally, but he was stubborn.
After several weeks, his insecurities consumed him and a less sane portion of his brain began to believe she was entangled in some secret love affair with the curly haired nerd. But the more logical section of his brain deemed it ridiculous. Or tried to at the very least. He continued to pry her, and finally she told him the truth. Robbie had been seeking advice from Jade. Helpful words regarding his long-time-crush (and Jade's best friend) Cat Valentine.
The first sign that set Jade off was the excess of sleeves that warm spring. Cat had never dressed particularly revealing, but it alarmed everyone a bit to see Cat clad in an oversized hoodie and jeans in the 90 degree Los Angeles solstice.
The second thing that ignited the taboo thoughts in Jade's head was Cat's in-characteristic lack of pep. The girl could once find excitement in anything. These days she moped around as if she were some sort of zombie, a member of the undead with dim eyes, and a shallow heart, a pathetic shell of the girl she once was.
The third item—and the one that potentially unnerved Jade the most—was Cat's sudden preoccupation with love—or the lack of it—in her life.
Jade knew all sorts of things about Cat. She knew her favorite food, besides her unorthodox addiction to the British snack: bibble, ( which is basically a colored kettle corn, although Cat refuses to admit it), was red velvet cupcakes, thus the color of her hair.
She knew Cat's favorite movie was Titanic, and that it hurt her petite friend that every time Jade was forced into watching the blockbuster, she would rant profusely about how stupid the main character, Rose, was.
But one thing she'd never known about Cat Valentine was that her obsession with romance cascaded much farther than crying over movies.
"Do you really think they both could have fit on the dresser?" Cat asked, teary-eyed following one of their many viewings of the film.
Jade shrugged, plopping a piece of popcorn into her mouth. "Probably. But it was more beneficial to the writers for them not to. Kill heart-throb Leo Dicaprio off and get many tears and death threats of teen girls, which ultimately funds the romantic film industry, 'ya know?"
She witnessed Cat's face fall, in disappointment, and sighed. "But, actually, probably not." She corrected herself. "Their combined weight would have caused the armoire to sink. He didn't try to fit on because he knew that, and sacrificed his life because he loved Rose."
Cat's face lit up. And she pondered for a moment. Jade sat semi-patiently, shoveling popcorn lazily into her mouth, preparing to pull another explanation out of her ass to the benefit of her seemingly naïve best friend. She rose the bowl, offering some to Cat, but she shook her head at the request.
"Do you think Beck would freeze to death for you? Do you think he would let you on the dresser?"
Jade arose her studded eyebrow, slightly taken aback by the question. But simply shrugged, yet again, finding the hypothetical answer to the hypothetical question indifferent. "Maybe. But I wouldn't want him to."
She tossed several other pieces of buttered popcorn into her mouth, before propping herself up ona single elbow, retrieving the remote from the coffee table, and pushing the Power button, thus silencing the television, which had reverted back to the main menu of the DVD.
"Why not?" Cat asked, that signature crease of worry appearing between the girl's dark eyebrows.
Jade collapsed back onto the sofa, resting her head close to Cat's legs. She suppressed a groan at the plethora of questions, and idly wondered why it was consequential in the slightest way. But she could detect the genuine curiosity in the younger girl's voice and decided to play along.
"Because when you really love someone, it's not selfish like that. I would never want him to sacrifice his life for me. You start to care about that person more so than you do yourself."
The synthetic nodded appreciatively. "Do you think Beck loves you that way, too?"
Jade's lips lapsed into a grim straight line. "I'd like to think so," She replied, softly.
"Do you think anyone will ever love me that way?" Cat asked, in a quiet tone than she typically spoke with, almost sheepishly, almost afraid.
The taller girl sat up to face her, crinkling her styled eyebrows. "Why do you ask that, Cat?"
And her face fell once more. Except this time, she looked as if she were about to cry.
"I just don't think anyone will ever love me in that way." She told Jade, somberly.
Jade knew she should have said, Of course they will, or something encouraging, but she laid back down on the couch, and was silent. She knew she should have said something, but for some reason, she didn't. She couldn't.
Several weeks later, at rehearsal for a play Hollywood Arts was performing that Spring, Cat's sleeve was accidentally hiked up during her big dance number. She had quickly scrambled to pull the hoodie's fabric back down to cover her arm, but the millisecond her forearm was displayed was enough for Jade West to confirm her ever-growing suspicions.
Jade was the only one who noticed the angry red slashes that permeated her hidden wrist. Because she was the only one who knew what to look for.
New Text Message [11:32 A.M.]: Nerd
Can I talk to you?
Jade was thoroughly surprised she'd even bothered to save Robbie Shapiro's number to her contacts, even if she did write him off with the name of Nerd. She first received his text while they were at school—Sikowitz's class, to be specific.
Outgoing Text Message [11:33 A.M.]: Nerd
What do you want?!
She remembered not bothering to wait for his reply, unconcerned with anything Robbie may have deemed important. But she'd been wrong. She'll never forget that pit in her stomach that formed when she read his next words.
New Text Message [11:39 A.M.]: Nerd
Cat told me she's been hurting herself.
It wasn't shock that she felt. She knew—and well—of Cat's dabbling in self-harm. Well, perhaps it was shock she felt. But not over the news of Cat, rather the news of her telling Robbie about her cutting.
Jade looked up, across the room, and exchanged a knowing glance with Robbie. He frowned at her, and even through his thick glasses frames, she could recognize the sadness in his eyes.
New Text Message [12:10 P.M]: Nerd
Did you know?
Outgoing Text Message [12:15 P.M.]: Nerd
Of course I knew!
New Text Message [12:16 P.M.]: Nerd
Aren't you worried? Haven't you talked to her about it?
Outgoing Text Message [12:17 P.M.]: Nerd
She won't talk to me about it.
New Text Message [12:19 P.M.]: Nerd
Why?
New Text Message [1:52 P.M.]: Nerd
Hello?
New Text Message [2:37 P.M.]: Nerd
Jade.
Outgoing Text Message [3:20 P.M.]: Nerd
She said she wouldn't take my advice. She called me a hypocrite.
And so their ritual began. Robbie would present his problem of the week (or day) and Jade would use her knowledge of Cat, and from her previous experiences, to help him find a solution.
Jade wasn't always able to display her good nature. She'd always had problems with openly showing her emotions. Something about allowing someone else to get into your head, to know what you think, and what you feel, scared the living hell out of her.
So, she was emotionally crippled. And maybe sometimes she wasn't such a decent person. But she was always a good friend-to Cat, at least. Even if she didn't always show it.
She didn't mind Robbie partaking in the role of the hero. She didn't protest him withholding the credit, or the points in Cat's eyes. Jade didn't even truly care if she ended up playing the role of the bitch in all this.
She truly didn't care what Cat or anyone else thought of her.
As long as Cat was getting better. As long as she would be okay.
"You're a good friend." Beck cooed to his girlfriend one night as she typed furiously away on her phone.
"Huh?" She asked, without commitment and without gazing up from her cell.
"I said," Beck scooted closer to her, and slinked a sly arm around her waist. "That you're a good friend."
She sighed, in defeat and set her phone on the mattress of the small bed they often shared in Beck's safe haven, which just so happened to be an equally microscopic shitty trailer parked in his parent's driveway.
"What?" She demanded, exhaustion polluting her blue-green eyes.
"You're a good friend. Even if you don't think you are. Even if know one else thinks you are." She still didn't say anything, simply stared blankly at him. "I know what you're doing, babe. With Cat. And Robbie." And she looked down, as if she were ashamed. But Beck quickly reached forward to tip her chin towards him so that she would be forced to meet his eyes. "I couldn't be more proud of you," he whispered, meaningfully.
She bit down on her lip, and stared blankly at her boyfriend for a moment. "It's not a big deal." She said, dismissively, as she attempted to wriggle out of his grip and fetch her phone.
"But it is." He disagreed, and tightened his hold on her waist, inching closer to her. He rested his lips against the soft nape of her neck. "You are doing a good thing, whether you'd like to admit it or not. You're a good person, Jade."
His hot breath against her bloodline distracted her too much, so she eventually pushed him away, but not before rewarding him with a quick, yet chaste, kiss.
"I love you," she whispered almost an hour later, when she was almost positive he had drifted into slumber.
"I love you, too, babe." He whispered back, rolling over just enough to intertwine their fingers and squeeze her hand, lovingly.
New Text Message [11:43 P.M.]: Robbie
Today she told me she'd give me her razors.
Outgoing Text Message [11:45 P.M.]: Robbie
Take them from her!
New Text Message [11:53 P.M.]: Robbie
I'm going to. I'll get them from her tomorrow after school.
Outgoing Text Message [11:54 P.M.]: Robbie
No! Get them as soon as possible. She might change her mind!
New Text Message [1:14 A.M.] Robbie
K, I went & got em.
Outgoing Text Message [1:20 A.M.]: Robbie
Good.
New Text Message [1:33 A.M.]: Robbie
Ya. I think she's going to sleep now.
Outgoing Text Message [1:40 A.M.]: Robbie
Thanks, Robbie. You're a good guy.
New Text Message [1:43 A.M.]: Robbie
Nah. I'm just doing what any decent person would do.
Outgoing Text Message [1:45 A.M.]: Robbie
No. You're doing so much more than that. You're saving her.
New Text Message [1:51 A.M.]: Robbie
I couldn't be without your help.
"I'm worried about her." Robbie whined into the phone. "I'm really, really worried this time, Jade."
A sigh escaped the plump lips of the dark haired girl, as she rested her head in her hands. "Look, Robbie, just calm down. Tell me what she said," She demanded, rolling out of bed, away from a sleeping Beck and stepping out onto the Oliver's driveway so that she didn't have to whisper.
"She—she told me she was thinking about suicide, about just ending it all. That no one would care." His voice was fast paced and so high pitched that it assaulted Jade's already pounding head.
She rested it against the cold surface of the RV's door, and sighed once more. "Did she actually say all of this?"
Robbie waited a moment, before saying "Yes."
"Okay, and you have all of her razors, correct?"
Another beat of silence, and then, "Yes."
"But she said she'll use a kitchen knife if she has to."
Jade shut her eyes, and let out a treacherous breath. "Keep her talking," she commanded. "If she doesn't text you back right away, call her. And don't hesitate to call the police if she doesn't answer."
Suddenly, the sound of incessant tapping filled Jade's ears. She flinched away from the receiver, recoiling from the agitating noise.
"Hang on, I'm texting her back." He announced, via speaker phone.
"What are you telling her? Tell me before you hit Send."
She could have sworn she heard a hint of a sigh from Robbie, and was tempted to tell him to "Fuck off then," and deal with his issues himself. And she would have done just that if his extensive issues didn't concern her very best friend on the planet.
"I'm telling her that I care about her," His voice returned on the other end, along with the background noise of him fumbling around with something or another. "That you care about her," he continued and his voice was softer. "That her parents and her brother all care about her. " He breathed deeply, another sigh. "That she has plenty to live for."
"Yeah, okay." Jade breathed, leaning further against The Silver Streak, and it creaked mildly as it supported more of her weight.
Her heart rate began to relax, as she steadily recovered from the initial shock of the rare phone call. She knew Robbie didn't call, unless there were some species of emergency. And each time she watched his name and thick rimmed glassed face appear on her home screen, her pulse skyrocketed and she struggled to breathe normally.
"That's good," she muttered, lamely.
Robbie didn't speak for a moment and Jade had begun to theorize that he had drifted off to sleep. Or hung up. She listened idly as the crickets hummed to the tune of the subtle nocturne in the distance. And suddenly remembrance of the cricket that inhabited Beck's RV for over a month trailed through her tired mind. Her lips twitched slightly, and she smiled a half smile, in spite of everything, reminiscing how sexy Beck's constant bedhead was.
That was the Christmas Cat gave her the scissors used in The Scissoring. She found herself smiling wider. And then, just as quickly as it had appeared, the grin disappeared and a frown was fast to replaced it as she heard Robbie's meek sniffling on the other end of the line.
"I'm sorry, Robbie." Jade whispered, careful not to taint the melody of the repetitive chirping provided. It reminded her of some song she knew long ago, although she couldn't place the lyrics or an artist. Simply the score, perhaps playing on a quiet Sunday afternoon. It relaxed her.
"Why are you sorry?" The curly haired boy asked following several moments of silence. His voice sounded tight, as if a sob lurked within his throat.
Jade let out a lengthy breath and ran a harsh palm through her tangled onyx curls. "I'm sorry because I should be the one to be taking care of her,"
She bit down hard on her bottom lip, as she heard the Silver Streak's front door creak open. But she didn't budge. She continued to soak in the cool temperature of the side of the RV, and closed her eyes.
"I'm sorry because she was always my responsibility. And I should have taken better care of her, and have taught her a better way to express her…" But she couldn't finish. She was well aware of the purported liquid developing in her eyes, of the knot rising in the interior of her throat. She placed a hand on the RV to steady herself.
Jade didn't realize the intensity of her shaking until arms stretched around her frame to hold her still. She placed a vibrating hand on Beck's forearm, and took her time to gradually lean against him rather than the base of the trailer. He rested his chin where her shoulder and neck met, and planted a sweet kiss on her flesh.
"You shouldn't be sorry, Jade." She almost forgot she was on the phone, and jumped at the octaves in Robbie's voice. "You've done nothing wrong. It's not your fault."
"He's right," Beck whispered, against her skin.
The once shallow breathing hitched, and she felt as if her lungs may soon collapse. She couldn't even muster up the motivation or the accurate wording to explain her attachment to Cat, why she felt and always had felt as if the girl was her responsibility.
No one had ever looked out for the girls when they were younger. So they looked out for each other. But somewhere along the way, they began to drift. And Jade didn't have such a good eye on her anymore. And this 'cutting' thing came right from her blind side. And she couldn't help but feel as if she had utterly failed her best friend.
Jade refused to open her eyes. She shut them tighter, shook her head, wishing to shake away every thought in her head. Several tears escaped her tear ducts in the process.
"I wish I could be there for her," Jade sobbed. "I wish I could, but for some reason…I just can't."
"I don't mind being there for her," Robbie's voice was suddenly crystal clear and sober.
Perhaps Jade crying had frightened him. It was somewhat scary to witness (or hear) someone who appeared so strong break into a million pieces before your eyes (or your ears).
"I know," She whispered, wiping various tears away from her flushed cheeks. Beck continued to plant supple kisses on the skin of her should every so often.
Beck was carrying Jade into the RV now, draping her across his arms in a bridal fashion. She hadn't noticed that he picked her up, but leaned against his chest, regardless, grateful for the contact.
She held her cell phone strongly against her ear, until she could feel it growing red, until the pressure began to cause an ache, and her hand started to shake.
The tapping started up again, as Beck genially set Jade back on the twin sized mattress, and curled his own lean body around hers. It was a benign gesture, but Jade latched onto his arms appreciatively, as they hugged her from behind.
"Did she text you back?" Jade asked softly, as the typing died down.
"Yeah." He replied, his tone shockingly even. "She told me she loved me."
"Is that it?" She pried, subconsciously wishing to know if Cat had mentioned something about her.
"Yeah, that's it."" He sighed. "Do you think I should be worried?"
Jade pursed her lips. "Mmm, no. I'm calling her bluff."
She detected movement from his end of the conversation then, and half wondered if the boy was in the process of laying down, if he was retiring from his duties of Cat's keeper for the night. His next sigh was one of relief.
She tried to mask her disappointment that Cat didn't mention that she loved or cared about Jade, too, but perhaps, she was reading way too much into one inconsequential text message.
"What did you say?" Beck had fallen asleep and began to snore softly into her ear. It had begun to annoy her, so she pushed him off of her nonthreateningly.
"I told her I loved her, too."
Life outside of Jade and Robbie's secret texts and midnight calls carried on normally. Jade and Cat walked to class together. They carried on with daily lunches with the gang. They carpooled to rehearsal, where Tori played the lead, and Jade pretended like it didn't bother her, and Cat pretended as if nothing bothered her. And in the car, Jade would play 80's heavy metal music and Cat would beg her to play Katy Perry.
Cat had even begun to display some of her old fashioned radiance again.
She ate a heavier lunch than what had become her usual pinch of food, most likely consisting of an apple or a pear.
She had begun to tell and re-tell eccentric stories regarding her older brother, much to a multitude of indivisuals' dismay.
Jade told herself she would never miss those utterly insane stories. But it somewhat surprised her just how much she had. Because they were a part of Cat. And she loved every part of that girl, whether she would openly admit it, or not.
The petite redhead no longer openly thirsted for a non-existent love. She and Robbie held sweaty palms in the hallways at school, and sometimes he gave her gentle kisses at the end of the day when he walked her to her locker.
Cat still wore the layers of clothing, even though the weather was growing increasingly warm.
But her best friend refreshed her eye, and kept a keen notice to Cat's arms each time she changed during rehearsal.
The harshness of the red had died down. Now they were simply pink scar tissue, a mere remembrance of the mutilation.
And although it made Jade sad that Cat had to live with the permanent aftershock, a smile always crept along her face when she noticed no new cuts.
An optimistic thought dawned on her: that perhaps this hell-ish Spring may be winding to a close, that things may finally be returning to some form of normal, whatever normal was at Hollywood Arts, anyway. But the supposed light at the end of the tunnel revealed itself to be a train the night of dress rehearsal, with a mere day to go before the first performance.
Beck and Jade lingered backstage, watching a run-through of Tori and Cat's scene, from the wings. The whole cast was in costume, but Cat wore her signature oversized hoodie over her dress, claiming the set was cold.
Half-way through the dramatic revelation in which Cat's character tells Tori that she doesn't want her to marry her brother, who Beck plays in the production, the student direction—Krista—calls "Cut," (an ironic phrasing of words, looking back), and asks Cat to take off her jacket.
"I'm cold," Cat protests, squeaking near the last syllable.
"Please, Cat, this is dress rehearsal. You have to be in costume." Krista persists.
"It's alright, Cat. It's not all that cold." Tori encourages, with a smile.
Robbie, who was working the sound system, leaned forward in his chair from the back of the auditorium, squinting carefully at his almost-girlfriend's composure.
"I-I don't want to." She stutters in response.
"Take. It. Off." The bitch of a student director demands. Jade's eyes widen, as Cat slowly pulls the hoodie over her head, with what looks to be slight moisture in her eyes.
Although they'd been fading, the marks resonating on her delicate arms are still prominent and sure as hell noticeable. The cast and crew let out gasps and inaudible statements of shock.
Krista practically leaps from her seat and then there is silence throughout the large room. She makes her way slowly and calmly over to Cat, before harshly grabbing her wrists and demanding, "What the hell is this?!"
She shakes Cat's thin arms vigorously, and Jade immediately rushes to mid-stage to meet them, with Beck quick on her heels. Tori immediately retreats back several steps at the sight of Jade.
Jade shoots her head up to search the back of the auditorium for Robbie, but he's nowhere to be found.
"The show is tomorrow, Cat! You're a lead and you have cuts all over your arm?! What. The. Hell."
"Back the fuck off, Krista." Jade snarls, and Beck puts a firm hand on her shoulder, in an attempt to calm her down, although they are both very aware it won't be affective.
Cat stares into the audience, where the remainder of the cast and crew are staring at her with wide eyes, and suddenly hers' magnify three sizes, as she turns swiftly to dash from the stage and the Blackbox Theatre and the dozens of pairs of eyes ogling at her, as if she were some type of freak.
Jade wasted no time promptly decking Krista in the jaw, before racing after her friend, motive in her momentous footsteps.
She found the petite redhead curled up in the last stall of the Hollywood Arts restroom. Cat threw small fists at her and resisted her arms, but Jade held her still, smoothing down stray hairs that had gone array on her head. She hushed her and caught her hands, and held them tightly in her own, all while robotically muttering "It's okay, it's okay, you're gonna be okay."
Cat soon halted her stirs and relaxed within the confines of Jade's hold, laying her head against the raven haired girl's chest and sobbing into her shirt.
After Cat had cried the last of her tears and thoroughly ruined Jade's shirt, she gazed up at her, fixating on the steady flow of silent tears that traveled down her porcelain face, until they reached mid-cheek and Jade quickly wiped them away. Cat penetrated a stray tear and wiped the liquid on her cotton dress, smearing some black makeup on the fabric, in the process.
"Do you really think I'll be okay?" She asked her, a glimmer of hope flickering through her pupils. And Jade smiled through her tears, down at Cat, and brushed her cheek with her index finger gently.
"Yeah, I do. I think sometimes you won't feel okay. But I think that's okay—to not be okay sometimes. But I know that eventually, you will be okay." She paused for a moment, and lovingly petted Cat's cheek.
"And it won't be convincing us through fake smiles and faux reassurances," she sighed momentarily, and gazed down at her own assaults on her skin that made her forever an offender in the game of life. And she hunched over slightly to plant a kiss on Cat's battered wrists.
"You won't have to lie. To anyone or to yourself. Because you really will be okay."
"You promise?" Cat choked, fresh tears springing to her eyes.
Jade nodded her head, and said "I do," in a soft tone. Because she did.
Outgoing Text Message [9:07 P.M.]: Robbie
Where did you disappear to?
New Text Message [9:11 P.M.]: Robbie
I went to get Sikowitz. I knew you would somehow harm Krista and wanted a reliable source there to assure Principal Helen it was well deserved.
Outgoing Text Message [9:15 P.M.]: Robbie
Hahah, well, thanks, Shapiro. Punching that bitch would have been worth the suspension though.
New Text Message [9:34 P.M.]: Robbie
No problem, West ;) I like this new dynamic: us helping each other out.
Outgoing Text Message [9:40 P.M.]: Robbie
That smiley face is creepy. And don't call me 'West.'
Outgoing Text Message [9:42 P.M.]: Robbie
Speaking of our teamwork (that somewhat makes me nauseous), have you heard from Cat?
New Text Message [9:45 P.M.]: Robbie
My smiley was not creepy ): And I'm with her right now actually.
Outgoing Text Message [9:52 P.M.]: Robbie
How is she?
New Text Message [9:55 P.M.]: Robbie
She's doing better. I asked her to be my girlfriend.
Outgoing Text Message [9:58 P.M.]: Robbie
I'm assuming the poor girl said 'yes.'
New Text Message [10:02 P.M.]: Robbie
Haha, very funny.
Outgoing Text Message [10: 05 P.M.]: Robbie
I know.
New Text Message [4:03 A.M.]: Robbie
Can I ask you a question?
Outgoing Text Message [4:11 A.M.]: Robbie
Yeah, I guess so.
New Text Message [4:15 A.M.]: Robbie
Do you really think you saved her?
Outgoing Text Message [4:16 A.M.]: Robbie
No.
Outgoing Text Message [4:17 A.M.]: Robbie
I think we saved her.
I'm really not sure how I feel about this. I had this idea and thought it was going to be really good, but now that I've written it and am publishing, I've lost some confidence.
Please review and let me know what you think of it. Would be very much appreciated.
Tell me what you liked, what you didn't, your favorite part, etc.
I'm still kind of new to one-shots and your input would be amazing.