Disclaimer: I still do not own One Piece. Even the idea is my insane friend's. I'm just writing it for her.

Rating: T – language.

Warning: Yaoish, Shonen-Aish, Crack, bathtime, AU and killer animal

Notice: No animals or blondes were harmed in the making of this fic, in theory.

Here's another written fic, drabble, thing. This is mainly crack, lots of crack. And Lucci is in his 4th form during this. Since giving a cat a bath is funnier that way.

!_!

"Lucci get down!" Paulie yelled.

The leopard just glanced his neon green eyes down at Paulie. His sharp claws imbedded halfway into the ceiling. The long tail curled protectively around his stomach. So the evil blonde wouldn't pull on it.

"Don't give me that look!"

The blonde clenched his teeth and blew out smoke from his mouth. Stomping out of the bathroom Paulie made his way to the hall closet. A smile formed around his cigar. Grasping the brown handle he took out his weapon. A broom.

But this was no ordinary broom. The top of the handle was made from sea stone. For just this occasion.

Quietly as the blonde could be. He snuck back into the tiled bathroom. Paulie eyed Lucci's still prone form. He moved his right hand to grip the bottom of the handle. Right above where the bristles start. He made a jabbing motion towards the leopard. Contacting solidly with his back.

BAM!

Paulie winced ever so slightly to the crashing of the body. Placing down the broom he gather the needed cleaning products.

Lucci looked dazed and dead. Really dead. Paulie sat outside the tub. Using what strength he could muster lifted the dead weight up a hair.

"God. Lose a few pounds." He muttered.

He squirted the rose scented shampoo onto the leopard's furry back. Massaging it into a nice soapy lather. The shampoo went off without losing body parts.

But the rinsing just had to start with Lucci hissing at the blonde. Paulie gave him a look. Continuing to rinse out the soap. Lucci stood up and bit the tan hand hard.

"Fuck Lucci." He cursed.

Paulie blew lightly on the bloody teeth indentions'. At least it didn't tear off a finger... or a hand. Ignoring the pain for now he continued rinsing. Making sure to watch Lucci's mouth.

"Paulie..."

He glared at him. Blue eyes flaring.

"What?"

Lucci turned his head a bit to glance calmly at the blonde.

"What!" He asked with annoyance.

Lucci gave an inward chuckle. His blonde was just too stupid for his own good.

"You're moving my fur in the Wrong Direction." Emphasizing the last two words.

!_!

There you have it. The first chappie of the drabble collections. My friend and me were talking about all the funny stuff Paulie and Lucci could do together. I plan to have no less than ten chapters.

Reviews would be wonderful. Also I believe water saps a devil fruit users powers. But Paulie was spraying Lucci with it. So I thought it didn't count on those moments. Yeah.