Pairing: Tora x Shou (Alice Nine)
Genre: Romance Ratings: PG-13 Author Comments: Shou's POV. I do not own anything in this fan fiction. All the peoples are not mine. But the story is pure my own made except the title I've got from a yaoi manga, Kirai Ja Nai Kedo. Thanks.
Today, we have a rehearsal, but I'm not see Tora anywhere. I think he's not come yet. I hope he could come. Because yesterday he said that he was sick, so I hope he'll come. Now I look at the others busy for themselves. I see Saga, Hiroto and Nao were talking and me? I'm just standing while holding my cell phone and wishing that Tora will call me. After a couple of minutes, my cell phone's ringing and I can see Tora's name on my cell phone monitor. "Moshi-moshi, Tora-san. Where are you?" I asked first and gladly he answered, "Shou-kun...Sorry for being late. I'm stuck in a traffic jam, so I'll get there in 10 minutes. Is that alright?" He said. I couldn't blame on him, because that isn't his fault, anyway. "Okay, Tora-san. I'll waiting for sure." I said. "That's good, Shou-kun. Love you..." he said that and I just close my cell phone while I put my phone in to my pocket. I like it, but I don't think so. (laugh)
Alright, it's been 10 minutes and I can see Tora come in to the PSC studio. He smiling to me and I don't even know what was that smile means. But, I like it, though. He approaching me and smiled. "Sorry for waiting...dear..." Actually, I'm surprised, so I just can stand still. And then he say hello to the others and also our manager. Okay, because I don't like to take a long time, so I'll command them to starts rehearsal. "Okay, guys! Why don't we start?" Fortunately, they just could say 'Okay' and then began to prepare themselves. My mic is already prepared, so I just have to waiting the others to get ready.
Okay, after a couple of minutes, we started with 'Rainbows', since I like that song. Anyway, we just enjoyed our rehearsal, although sometimes we can't stop joking. Of course it'll be tired for me, since I'm singing and I have to joking with the others. But, still. We have to be serious, because 2 weeks later we will starts the tour. After we ended the first song, we trying to play 'Kiss Twice, Kiss Me Deadly'. I always remember about our last tour. I always been seduced by Saga with that song. His neck always makes me wants him and all I can do is kissed his neck. Actually, I really like those things. I dunno why, Saga's neck is my pleasure. That's the part of the live, anyway. If we don't do that, maybe all the fan girls will ask us to doing a fan service. (laugh)
Now it's been 2 hours we were rehearsal plus joking all the time. We have to break and rehearse again for serious. Alright, now we were go to canteen and maybe eat some there. Tora looks always doing some chit-chat with Hiroto, but when I look at him, he always knows and smiling to me. I dunno what that smile means, but he's been like this since a week ago or he's been like that when we were firstly met? I dunno. But, all I can do now just focus about next week.
Alright, now I sit besides Saga and I always do that if we were eat together. Tora in front of me while he talking with Nao and Hiroto. Once again, I feel like Tora is looking at me, but I ignored it and talking with Saga again. I just thinking of myself. If Tora likes me, I dunno what should I said to reject him. I mean, he always being the part of my life and always hear me when I'm talk something. We dunno what should we eat, so we think to eat ramen.
While we eat our ramen, suddenly Tora wants to talk with me privately. "Hmm...Shou-kun. I wanna talk to you privately and I'll drive you home." That was no matter, I think. But, suddenly my heart going faster, I really dunno why, "Alright, Tora-kun". He smiled and continuing his eating. I'm afraid if he'll ask me for love and I can't do anything, anyway. So, after we eat, we continued our rehearsal. I hope, when Tora drive me home, there's nothing matter.
Oh God~ We've been rehearsal for 2 hours without joking. A little bit tired for me. But, I have to work hard on lives next 2 weeks. I feel nervous for the lives. But, one thing. I have to be professional and Alice Nine should work hard the best for our fans. Yosh! Alright, Tora approaching me and before Tora approaching me, Hiroto whispering something to Tora, but I dunno what that is. I don't think it so much, anyway.
While we were walking, as usual Tora embrace me and doing a little conversation about lives. Hmm...it's weird, I'm really nervous beside him. Usually, I never feel anything when Tora embrace me, but I feel something different about him. His embrace was different and he just like treating me like I'm his lover. I dunno why, but maybe that's just my wierd feelings. Forget that. (Laugh)
After we reach Tora's motorbike, he give me a helmet and I think he has prepared it. Good. My heart going faster again and I hope there's nothing scary happened to me or Tora though. Tora starts to driving and there's something that I afraid of. He's a reckless driver. He ever drove me home one day and he's droves really like a reckless driver. Because he said that was his first day driving on the high road. I'm afraid if he still driving recklessly. I couldn't imagine later on.
When we were on the way, he's driving carefully. So, this is the first time to see him drive carefully. I hope he'll always be like this, driving carefully. It's not take so long to go to my house. Because, Tora was really fast and carefully. So, I'm get off of his motorbike and he just sit on his motorbike. "So, what you want to talk about?" I asked. He bow his head and show his face again while he take a deep breath. "Alright, I have to say about this. If you want to hate me, just hate me, okay." He answered, but his voice sounds different. So, I just nodded, because I couldn't say anything. "I love you, Shou-kun..." He said. I couldn't expected and really surprised, I couldn't believe it, "Are you kidding, Tora-kun? Do you mean it?" I still couldn't believe. Suddenly, Tora's face turn into gloomy face and all I can do just couldn't do anything. "I mean it, Shou-kun. I mean it. I'm not lying." He said. I'm really confused and dunno what should I do. I'm straight! I dunno Tora could say that. I think it'll be hurt for him, but however, I'm straight. "Sorry, Tora-kun. Maybe you better find someone else. So many girls out there better than me, Tora-kun." I'm really hard to say that, but it's just broke his heart, then he smiled, "Okay, I better go, Shou-kun. Thanks for the answer." Slowly, my tears come down when Tora go away in front of me. Yes, now I'm feeling guilty.
With this hard step, I'm entered my house with sad face. I closed the door hardly and now I'm feeling more guilty. I dropped this body and think. Why should I do this to him? Why? He's not wrong, anyway. He has confessed his heart and being honest. I'm not even hates you, Tora. Kirai ja nai kedo...
It's almost a week, Tora never come to rehearse. Saga, Hiroto, and Nao were trying to call Tora, but there's no answer. I'm trying too, but he doesn't answered my call. I'm really feel guilty now. I feel this body was falling down into deep and I wanna killed myself because of my selfishness. I likes Tora, now. Even, I always calling Tora's name in my sleep. Hiroto said that yesterday when he was staying at my house. Yes, I'm thinking about him lately. I likes Tora more.
We trying to waiting and waiting. But, there's no call from Tora. So, Hiroto just asks me, "Shou-san~ Do you know where he is?" I know Hiroto is mad, "I dunno, Pon. He doesn't call me. I call him a hundered times, but he doesn't even answered my call." I said. I can see Hiroto saying 'S**t!' and it's all my fault. This is pure my fault. I wants to finished all about this and now I have courage to tell them my fault, "It's all my fault, guys." They look at me and Saga asked me, "What you've done to him, Shou-kun?" I bowed down as my tears falling down, "Yesterday, when he drove me home, he told his confession to me and I'm rejected him. On that day, I'm being rude to him when I rejected him." They a little bit shocked about that and couldn't believe that Tora likes me. Nao pats my shoulder and he said, "Shou-kun, go to Tora's apartment now. I think he'll be okay if you said sorry. Come on~ We have to rehearse. This week is our last rehearsal." I nodded as I wipe off my tears and walking leaving them. I should do this. I can.
When I arrived at his apartment, I take a deep breath and get in to the buliding. I take the lift and I'm searching Tora's room. When I arrived in front of his room, I knocked the door. I knock it twice, but there's no answer. When I knock the door for the last time, the door was opened. I see Tora in front of my face and he smiled. Looks like he has forgot about last five days.
I'm sit on the couch and I'm just looking down, like I'm afraid to Tora. So, now I have to say sorry, "Tora-kun...about yesterday..." I'm not even continued, he just said, "I know, Shou-kun. That's okay. I'm not even angry to you." This is all my fault, Tora! I couldn't forgive myself. "Sorry, Tora-kun. This is pure my fault. I shouldn't being rude to you. And now I'm realize that...that...I'm in love with you." Suddenly, my tears falling down slowly. I'm still feeling guilty. Then, he suddenly hug me and said, "I'm still loving you, Shou-kun. Don't be afraid. I'm not even have revenge on you. You are my precious life, Shou-kun. That's why I couldn't angry and it's all because I love you." I'm became responsive and hug him back. Such a warm hug. I can feel love here. A true love that I feel inside my heart. A true love which makes us together like this.
Tora release his hug and wipe off my tears and kissed me softly, "Don't crying, Shou-kun. I love you. I'm here now, okay. Please don't be afraid I'm angry." I know, I shouldn't crying in front of him. But, I've been wrong, I've broke his heart and hurt his heart. But at least he doesn't angry to me. That's because I'm really afraid if someone who I love hates me. Now Tora sit besides me and embrace me. He's warm. "Shou-kun, just stay here, okay. I wants you to be here tonight." He said. Of course, I love him now, so there's no need to reject, "Okay, Tora-kun. I'll be here." I said. He placed my head on his shoulder and caress me so softly. I love you, Tora for the rest of my life.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=SHOU'S POV END=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=