Disclaimer: I do not own the copyright for Waking the dead or its characters – all rights belong to the BBC
Content: Boyd and Grace
Rating: K
Hey everyone, thank you so much for taking the time to read this, I really appreciate it. This one comes from a challenge that Joodiff set. I kinda busted the word count but I'm sure she won't mind. Massive hugs to all the OHT and for those who need it an extra special squeeze. As always would love to hear what you think! Xx
The Long Night
Grace swallowed back the deep foreboding dread that had instantaneously wrapped around her heart only seconds earlier. Her legs completely devoid of strength threatened to give way beneath her as Spencer's solemn tone echoed in her ears, his words pounding off every surface in her mind.
"Boyd's been shot."
Her blood ran cold as she fought against the dark demons that were invading her in a vain attempt to retain composure. She physically shuddered, her consciousness taunting her with every horrifyingly graphic image that she could devastatingly imagine. So many questions she needed the answer to. So many answers she feared.
"Is it serious?" She finally forced the words past the lump now relentlessly pressing on her windpipe, her voice escaping no more than a whisper.
Question after question Spence silenced her with the same reply.
"I don't know."
Grace felt her frustrated anger rise within her, anger she directed unfairly at Spencer, her need to hear every detail almost debilitating.
"Spence, just tell me, he's going to be alright isn't he?" Her midnight blue eyes burning red as acidic tears pooled within them.
"I'm sorry Grace, I just don't know."
The streets and roads passed her in a hazy blur. She was barely aware of traffic signals, made no allowances for any other vehicles that happened to be on the road. Her mind steadfastly single-minded on her destination and her innate desire to get to Boyd. Terror of what she would find waiting for her had already taken hold of her heart and right now nothing else in the world mattered. She knew she shouldn't be driving, Spence had explicitly told her not too. Grace momentarily allowed her mind to drift back to the telephone call. There was something about the inference of his tone, how he spoke to her that confirmed he knew. Somehow instinctively Spencer knew that her relationship with Boyd had long ago transcended beyond just colleagues or even close friends. He had realised that they had crossed that line, that their relationship ran deeper. Much much deeper. Both she and Boyd had taken the decision to keep their private life private and outside the office, though if she was honest they hadn't exactly been discreet. Stolen glances, whispered words, the briefest touches that filled them with tingles of electricity. His captivated gaze. Her adoring smile. You can never fully hide love in your heart without it eventually finding expression through your eyes and she knew that their eyes betrayed them daily. Oh yes, the signs were most definitely there as both she and Boyd seemed completely incapable of hiding the full extent of their feelings.
Theirs had been a slow burning relationship which developed strongly over the years. A relationship based on mutual respect, friendship, trust and a base level attraction, all of which meant neither of them ever doubted that one day they would inevitably end up in one another's arms and bed. It was all just a question of timing. Unfortunately, as was always the way with everything they did, the timing had proved extremely frustrating leaving them both at one point or another completely exasperated and led more often than not to the predictable arguments between them. When eventually it did happen, it was simple, easy in fact and as natural as breathing. No awkwardness, no guilt, no fear, or regrets, just a preordained conclusion that they both accepted as inescapable destiny.
Grace abandoned her car in hospital car park and ran the short distance towards the Accident and Emergency department were Spence had told her they had taken Boyd. The automatic doors opened as she approached giving her access to a well-lit waiting area. She squinted painfully against the brightness, the stark strip lighting of the department burning into her already caustic eyes as she scanned the full waiting area looking for any traces of familiarity. She found none. A young girl cried softly as she gently cradled her arm while huddling closely into her mother. A young man sat on the chair opposite still dressed in his brightly coloured sports kit, his ankle swollen almost beyond recognition as he waited patiently to be seen. An unkempt drunk lay in the corner, traversing the conscious and unconscious world bestowed on him by alcohol. Blood clearly running down his face from a cut just above his eye and periodicity he loudly called the name of whom Grace could only assume was his wife, or girlfriend, maybe even his mother. With every unrecognisable drunken utterance he made Grace could feel the irritation rise within her. She needed to concentrate, needed to find Boyd and everything inside wanted to scream at the top of her voice for this man to shut up. Face after face she scanned looking for someone who would be able to tell her what was happening but there was no-one. Impatiently she approached the reception desk, her heart beating so loudly she was certain it was audible to those around her. As she neared the desk she heard a familiar voice call out her name.
"Grace."
She turned swiftly to see Spence approach her, his face graven and tired.
"What's happening Spence? Where's Boyd?" She asked quickening her pace to meet him in the corridor.
"They took him straight to surgery."
"What? How bad is it?"
"Look Grace … try not to worry eh Boyd's a fighter".
"Spencer …. Just tell me. How bad is it?"
"Pretty bad …." He dropped his head unable to look at her. The level of his voice fell as he continued. "… he lost a lot of blood; the surgeons are doing all they can."
Grace's hand automatically rose to cover her mouth as she gasped loudly in shock, tears gathering swiftly as she tried to process his words. "How the hell could this happen? How could YOU let this happen Spence?" She was angry. Angry at Spence. Angry at Boyd.
"I couldn't stop him Grace; you know what Boyd is like when he's out in the middle of a situation. Ferguson wouldn't let it go, and Boyd wouldn't back down.
"That damn, stupid, stubborn man." Her tone was soft and weak. She looked so fragile and vulnerable. Spence took a small step towards her scooping her into his embrace. He felt her cling tightly to him as she was unable to stop her tears from falling and tracing silently down her face.
"Come on Grace, this is Boyd we're talking about, he's invincible."
"Except he's not is he Spence? Right now he's in surgery fighting for his life and we can do damn all about it."
Spencer pulled her closer to himself and placed a tender kiss on top of her head. She was right. There was every chance that Boyd wouldn't make it through the night. He had heard the paramedics' radio through to the hospital, he knew how much blood Boyd had lost and he knew the important detail that he had purposefully omitted to tell Grace. Boyd was bleeding internally and they couldn't stop it.
It had happened so quickly. There was nothing he could have done to prevent Boyd propelling himself in front of Janice Morris and into the line of the bullet and yet he still blamed himself. Snippets of the conversation that had ensued between Boyd and Ferguson played relentlessly over in his mind. For once they had played it by the book, there was nothing that could have foreseen Ferguson pulling the gun and aiming it at Janice and once that trigger was pulled there was absolutely nothing that could have stopped Peter Boyd from trying to save her. Spence had taken the shot as quickly as he could and watched as Ferguson's bloodied body slumped down the wall, but it was too late. Boyd had been hit. He closed his eyes as his memory replayed the sound Boyd's body made as it hit the ground, the deadened thud echoing once again in his mind. There was something in Boyd's eyes that had sent a chill coursing through Spence, a deep resignation that he knew whatever damage the bullet had done was enough. He watched helplessly as Boyd tried to control his breathing, panic beginning to set in.
Instinct had caused him to react. He didn't think, just moved. Janice had been through enough at the hands of Ferguson and he wasn't about to stand back while this piece of scum shot her. His idea was to knock her out of the way of the bullet, what he hadn't accounted for was the fact he was no longer as fast as he used to be. He felt his shoulder firmly connect with Janice and sensed her fall away from him, before a searing intense heat ripped through his body. The force knocked him off his feet and as he fell heavily he instantly became aware of the struggle his lungs were under to fill of air. Pain embraced him agonisingly as he fought for every breath. This was not the way it was supposed to be. He was supposed to live a long and happy life with Grace, not die in some stinking back street dump.
Grace. His mind fleetingly flooded with warmth as her image drifted into his consciousness. He needed to see her, needed to reassure her that he was going to be okay. Except he couldn't, could he? Right now he honestly wasn't sure if he would make it, or if he would ever see her again. He glanced down towards his blood stained shirt and watched as the blot of red swiftly travelled the expanse of his chest. Fear wrapped its icy hand around his heart refusing to release the vice-like grip upon him. Boyd swallowed hard, pushing past the deep stabbing burn that was tearing agonisingly through his body. Writhing against the pain he inhaled as much air as he could to enable him to speak. Two words were all he could manage. Two words were all he needed.
"Call Grace."
He didn't need to say anything else. Spence knew the weight of his words and he knew the urgency that was required as Boyd's crimson blood pooled around him. His breathing shallowed further as he struggled to remain conscious. Boyd heard Spencer's voice in the distance, heard him speak, yet no matter how hard he tried to focus he couldn't make out what he was saying. Was he calling Grace? What was he saying to her? Was she okay? Of course she wasn't, she would be so worried. Just tell her not to worry Spence, he thought, wishing that he had the strength to verbalise his concern. He longed to see her, longed for her to be here beside him, holding him. Just to see her face one more time, and yet, he knew how worried she would be and he wished to God he could spare her from that. Suddenly he became aware of the bitter coldness that ran through him like ice and he shivered against it. So very very cold and dark. Until complete nothingness.
Spence wanted to spare Grace from the worst of the details. Her face already bore testament to how concerned she was for Boyd. They had a long wait ahead of them, and he couldn't rob her of any hope that Boyd wouldn't make it through it. He felt her stir against him as she attempted to compose herself once again.
"How long has he been in surgery?" She asked tentatively.
"About an hour." Spence replied releasing his grip on her marginally but still keeping a protective arm around her shoulders. "They pretty much took him down as soon as he arrived, said it could take a while though."
"I can't bear the thought of him, lying there alone while fighting for his life. I just want to see him Spence." Grace reached up to wipe the tears from her eyes.
"I know and you will soon. I promise." Spence replied softly trying to disguise his own concern. Grace needed him to be strong; he couldn't allow any tones of doubt to infuse his words. She needed to believe and if truth be told, so did he. The alternative was just unthinkable.
"Come on Grace." Spence continued. "Let's get you some coffee and somewhere to sit, it's gonna be a long night." Grace allowed herself to be led by Spence to the end of the narrow corridor until they finally stopped outside a relative's waiting room. "The nursing staff said we could use this room to wait on news." Spence spoke before he stilled and turned to look at her. "Before we go in there's something I need to tell you Grace."
The dark shadows fell quickly over Grace's countenance as she awaited Spence to continue. "What? What is it?"
"I had to stay behind at the scene to give a statement to the investigating officer and by the time I arrived at the hospital the decision had already been made to take Boyd to surgery. The staff located his files and for some reason contacted his ex-wife, Mary. She's in there now." Spence motioned beyond the door with his head.
Grace closed her eyes. She didn't know if she had the strength to deal with this, not now. Her heart-rate began to quicken as she mentally prepared herself for the confrontation that she knew awaited her behind the door. Mary had always intimated her. She knew it was completely irrational, but nonetheless she had never been able to shake the feeling. Mary was everything Grace wasn't. She was taller than Grace with long sleek shiny dark hair that rested perfectly just below her shoulders. If Grace's style was bohemian, Mary's was most definitely chic, her clothes following her long slender frame fell into place perfectly. She was also twelve years younger than Grace and when Mary was around Grace felt every one of those twelve years and much more.
She had tried to explain her insecurity and how she felt to Boyd on a few occasions. Once, when they were having a conversation about the type of women he was attracted to she had raised the differences in them both, but Boyd just dismissed it with a laugh saying that he didn't have a specific type and that he had always wanted to be a toy boy. It had pacified her enough that evening and she believed him completely when he told her he loved her, yet when Mary was around Grace found it difficult to believe that Boyd would ever chose her over his ex-wife.
"She's my ex-wife for a reason Grace." He had said during one particular discussion trying not to sound as exasperated as he felt.
"Yes I know that, but you have to admit Boyd, she's everything I'm not."
"Yea she is. She's a devious cow." He dismissed. "Look Grace, I'm with you now and I am very happy with that arrangement thank you very much. I'm not interested in reconciling with Mary. It's not gonna happen. Okay?"
Yet every time Grace had the misfortune of being in Mary's company she still felt like a frumpy old woman, trying desperately to hold onto her much younger man and Mary didn't do anything to alleviate her discomfort.
Slowly Grace took a deep steadying breath of air, before reaching for the door handle and purposely turning it.
"Hello Mary" She opened as she entered the room.
"Grace" the other woman answered dryly unable to hide the underlying bitterness in her tone. It had been a number of years since the women had last met at Luke's funeral and neither of them had been in a rush to repeat the encounter. Mary hadn't wanted Grace to attend, which of course Grace understood completely. It was Boyd who insisted that she did and had made it quite clear to Mary that it wasn't open for negotiation. He needed Grace by his side that day more than any other and Grace had wanted to be there to support him. At best the relationship between the two women was uncomfortably frosty; at worse it was downright painful.
Mary's eyes tartly looked Grace up and down. Same old Grace, same charity shop hippy dress sense. What did Peter see in her? She wondered resentfully. She and Peter had separated a number of years ago and even now it still stuck in her throat that he could've chosen Grace over her. For as long as she could remember Grace had always been in the background commanding his attention. Even during their marriage she would often notice how he deferred to Grace on almost every occasion. He didn't even realise he was doing it most of the time. Her name was the cause of many marital rows in the Boyd household and Boyd's continual defence of her was the last straw for Mary. Now as she continued to coldly observe the older woman she couldn't help but question what exactly Grace Foley had that she didn't which made Peter run to her like an obedient puppy every time she clicked her fingers.
"You look well" Grace continued.
"Oh please, spare me the small talk Grace. We both know you couldn't give a damn about me or how I look." Mary replied dismissively.
"Well excuse me for thinking we could at least be civil, especially at a time like this, if not for our sakes then for Boyd's." Grace felt her head begin to throb intensely as her blood pressure reached boiling point. She was so worried about Boyd and now she had to deal with his infuriating ex-wife. They had not even been in the room for five minutes and already the talons were drawn and she was attempting to draw blood. This was going to be a very long night.
"Huh …" she snorted. "...I stopped feeling the need to be civil for Boyd's sake years ago."
"And don't we all know it." Grace snapped back.
"Don't start this with me Grace, not right now okay."
Grace shrugged. "Start what? All I give a damn about right now is Boyd."
"Nothing's changed there then." Mary spat bitterly.
"Look Mary, we owe it to Boyd to put our differences behind us at least for one night and concentrate on him."
"I owe him or you nothing. You know as well as I do it was Peter who has always called the shots. So don't even try the guilt trip with me"
"Which begs the question then. Why exactly are you here?" Her blue eyes searching Mary's quizzically.
"I don't need to explain myself to you…." Mary answered holding the gaze of the older women, a sly smile wickedly lighting on her lips as she continued. "But I will. The hospital telephoned; apparently I am still listed as Peter's next-of-kin. He never changed it you know. Maybe sub-consciously he never really wanted to. Some bonds are just too hard to break and we always have had that special connection, Peter and I. Guess some things are just too hard to let go, even for him."
"Oh I'm sure he'll feel very relieved knowing that you are here." Grace replied curtly trying to disguise her discomfort at the underlying inference. She folded her arms defensively across her chest as her own insecurity once again rose swiftly within her, its dark grip constricting around her heart piercing it like tiny sharp daggers. Her own mind turned against her as it began to cruelly taunt. Why hadn't Boyd changed his next-of-kin? They had been together for the last few years and he'd separated from Mary years before that. Why would he want Mary to be informed before her? They shared everything. She had changed her next-of-kin details almost immediately. His was the first face she wanted to see should anything happen, it was his assurance she would be seeking. He would always know exactly what to do. Didn't he want her to be the same to him? Didn't he believe that she could handle it? Was the bond he shared with Mary stronger than the one he had with her? Of course there had been Luke to consider. He would have wanted Luke to be kept informed in some way and Mary was the obvious link to do that. But didn't he trust her to contact his family? Didn't he realise that she would do just about anything for him?
Grace shook her head imperceptibly in a bid to displace the black thoughts that were threatening to cripple her. She knew that Boyd and Mary would always share the deep grief over loosing Luke, she knew that she could never understand exactly the turmoil they as parents had been through, but as far Boyd was concerned that was as far as it went. He had told her many times how happy she made him, how he found in her something he never had with Mary. She trusted him. Completely.
"Quite frankly I'm surprised that Boyd would have over-looked something so basic as changing his next-of-kin details, especially when allegedly you are the so called love of his life." Mary continued oblivious to the battle raging in Grace's mind. "It certainly didn't take him long to move on, the bed was hardly cold …. if indeed it ever was at all, which I seriously doubt."
"Just what are you insinuating Mary?" Grace's eyes narrowing as she spoke.
"Oh I think you know very well what I am referring too Grace."
"Look this is neither the time nor the place…."
"Maybe you should have said that years ago when you were sleeping with my husband."
"I'm sorry but I ..."
"Look there is no point in playing little Miss innocent now, you certainly weren't so innocent then. He was a married man Grace, but that didn't stop you pursing him did it?"
"Look Mary I don't know where you got this idea from but ..."
"I was there Grace, remember? I was the one waiting at home, looking after his son, while Boyd was working late ….. with you! I was trying to build a home for us while you were intent on wrecking it."
"What? How dare you!"
"Oh Please! You just couldn't wait to get your claws into him could you?... You knew ..."
"WE WERE FRIENDS MARY – THAT IS ALL!" Grace's face reddened as her head shook at the anger in her words.
"I don't know that I can accept that."
"Well you're just gonna have to because it's the truth."
"And you expect me to believe that do you?"
"I really don't care what you believe Mary. Boyd and I were only ever friends. Deal with it"
"Yeah well, you're not only friends now are you?"
"No, you know fine well we're not" Grace sighed deeply. "I don't know why I'm even bothering to tell you this, it's got absolutely nothing to do with you, and quite frankly I am more concerned about Boyd right now than I am about you and your spurious accusations."
"Well you can't blame me can you?"
"Yes, yes I can. Your marriage breakdown had nothing to do with me whatsoever, and I'll be damned if I let you try to insinuate anything different. You alone were responsible for what happened."
"And I suppose Boyd was completely innocent huh? No doubt he has told you what a bad wife and mother I was, how difficult home life was for him. Made you feel sorry for him. Well let me tell you something Grace, he was no saint."
"Don't you think I know that? Don't you think I know exactly how difficult Boyd can be to live with? I have no doubt that he wasn't entirely blameless within your marriage, but that was a long time ago and had absolutely nothing to do with me."
The door behind Grace opened and Spencer entered carrying a tray holding three coffee cups, immediately sensing the tension that hung heavily in the air between the two women.
"Are you alright?" He asked Grace quietly as he held out the tray containing the coffee.
"Yeah I'm fine. Thanks Spence." Grace said wearily, smiling softly as she accepted the proffered cardboard cup from him. She hadn't realised how cold she was until the warmth of the hot liquid it contained contrasted with the coolness of her hands. She took a long draw and felt the burn travel down her gullet. Slowly she closed her eyes inhaling deeply as her mind darkly and chaotically turned over with thoughts of Boyd. She felt her stomach tighten once again in strangled knots bringing with it the rise of nauseousness. What would she do if she lost him? The unbearable thought of him being ripped away from her was overwhelming.
She had always dreaded receiving that phone call. In the dark recesses of her mind she had been continually aware of the possibility that one day Boyd's luck would run out and her phone would ring delivering the devastating news, yet she was so unprepared for it. She had come to rely on him so much over the years. He was as much part of her as she was herself. Where she ended and he began had become blurred a long time ago. Their thoughts, feelings, emotions and desires were all intricately interwoven through one another. She knew the shattering aftermath that losing him would carry in all its dark destructive force and was petrified of it. Another wave of crippling anxiousness swept over her more powerful than the first and threatened to carry her away in the power of its wake. She swallowed the sob that originated in the depths of her soul and was now fighting to be heard. She couldn't fall apart, not now, not here.
Slowly the clocked ticked as the silence reverberated off the white painted walls. Minute by minute, hour by hour time crawled by taunting her in her helplessness. Grace wasn't a particularly religious woman but tonight she inaudibly prayed. The night wore on without any word about Boyd, until she could take it no more.
"Right that's it….." She said rising swiftly to her feet. "I'm going to find out what's happening."
"The doctor will come and tell us if there is any news." Mary interjected.
"And what … we just sit here and wait? Well I've had enough of waiting and hearing nothing." Grace retorted.
"Just let the doctors do their jobs …." Mary continued before Spencer stood up to intervene.
"Grace, don't worry, I'll go and find a doctor to update us. Please, come on, sit down." He said softly putting his arm gently around her shoulders and guiding her towards the chair. "Please Grace, I promise I will find someone to speak to us."
She hesitantly relented, too tired and worried to put up much of an argument. Sagging wearily in her chair Grace grimaced as she rubbed her forehead repeatedly trying to displace the noise within.
"Headache?" The younger woman broke through the moments silence startling Grace and causing her to look up.
"Yea, a thumping one."
Mary began to rifle through the stylish black bag which lay abandoned at her feet until she located the item she was searching for. Tentatively she extended her arm towards Grace. "Painkillers?"
Grace starred silently at her before sighing deeply and small smile pulling at her lips. "Thank you, they would be much appreciated." She said simply as she reached out and accepted the foil sheet Mary held in her hand.
"Peter always did know how to make me worry." Mary continued. "Every day he left the house I always feared that he wouldn't come home. Little did I know then that one day he wouldn't, but that it would be for an altogether different reason."
"Look ..." Grace relented "I understand how hurtful the end of a marriage is and I can understand how you feel..."
"With respect Grace I don't think you have any idea of how I feel."
"You are not the only one to have gone through hardships in life you know."
Mary considered the weight and implication of Grace's words before continuing. "Yea but you didn't have any control over your situation did you? I mean, there was nothing you could do to prevent your husband leaving."
Grace's eyes widened in surprise at Mary's knowledge of her personal life, raw grief briefly reflecting from deep within the midnight blue. The reaction didn't go unnoticed by the other woman.
"I'm sorry ..." Mary answered softly in reply beginning to feel uneasy at raising the point. "Peter mentioned your husband's death."
"Yea well, it was a long time ago ..." Grace inhaled deeply burying once again the sorrow that encroached.
"Still, the point I was trying to make is that the circumstances were entirely different. My husband chose to leave me. Yours..."
"The feeling of loss is just as raw, the circumstance doesn't make the pain any less."
"Have you any idea what the pain of rejection is like? How it feels to know that your husband doesn't love you anymore, worse still that he is in love with someone else. Do you know how hard it is to watch him going through the motions knowing that he would rather be in the office with another woman than at home with his wife and child. I loved him Grace, but I wasn't enough for him was I?"
"Boyd never intended to hurt you; he's not a cruel man. You do know that don't you? He did everything he could to try and make it work. He has so many regrets about that period of his life and it causes him great anguish, especially since Luke's death."
"Well he does a great job of hiding it."
"Only because he just doesn't know how to express it. It's not intentional."
"I should have known that you would defend him. It was always the same with you both."
Grace threw up her hands and gave a long and exasperated sigh "Look this is just ridiculous. I'm not sitting here going round in circles with you not when Boyd's in there fighting for his life." Grace stood suddenly and made for the door.
"Grace ... wait ... please." Mary called after her. Grace turned slowly meeting the gaze of the younger woman.
"Why? This isn't doing either of us any good and I just don't have the energy to deal with it right now. The only thing I can think about is Boyd."
"I know ... I'm sorry. It's just seeing you, knowing that you have taken my place ..."
"I haven't taken your place Mary; you were his wife, the mother of his son ..."
"Please Grace let me finish. You have taken my place in his life and affections. What hurts the most is the knowledge that this happened a long long time ago and I couldn't do anything to stop it. Look I know that the breakdown of our marriage wasn't entirely down to Peter. We got married too young, thought we could take on the world and for a while we did, but then Peter tried to take on everyone and everything else as well. It's difficult when you love someone to watch them drift away from you."
The door opened once again breaking into their conversation and Spence entered followed by a doctor still dressed in scrubs.
"Mrs Boyd?" He asked looking directly at Grace.
"No, I'm Mrs Boyd." Mary answered stepping forward intentionally ignoring the surprised look on Grace's face. "How is he?"
Grace looked silently at Spence, her face awash with annoyance as the doctor turn away from her and focused fully on Mary.
"I'm Stephen Patterson; I am one of the surgeons who operated on Mr Boyd." He said extending his hand and shaking hers firmly.
"Is he alright?" She answered.
"He's out of surgery now and in intensive care. I have to tell you it was touch and go for a while. He lost a lot of blood and we had a fight on our hands to stabilise him."
"But he's alright now?" Grace spoke up unable to contain herself any longer. The doctor looked towards Mary for conformation and as she nodded her head slightly he turned to address Grace.
"The next few hours are extremely critical; we are monitoring him closely and will let you know of any changes."
Grace took an audible intake of air. "Can I see him?" She enquired.
"I'm sorry that's not possible while he is in intensive care, we will reassess the situation in the morning and let you know. I really must get back now." He dismissed himself politely and left the room.
Spence immediately returned to Grace's side and embraced her. "He's gonna be fine Grace, he's made it this far hasn't he? The stubborn bugger is not gonna let a nobody like Ferguson take him out." He rubbed her shoulders gently feeling the moisture from her tears on his neck. Grace was feeling completely overwhelmed, emotion and fear heightened by tiredness all fighting for supremacy. She was thankful for the security of Spencer's arms. The look in the surgeon's eyes, his countenance and gravity of his tone, all confirmed that Boyd was far from out of the woods yet. She felt her shoulders shutter as once again she tried to suppress the loud cry she knew was only moments from surfacing. Her heart was heavy with anxiety and distress. She longed to see him, just to be with him, to touch his face in a bid to reassure herself that he was okay.
"You should try to get some sleep." Spencer said tenderly.
"I couldn't, not when ..."
"I know, I know …." He quietly soothed. "…. but you're not going to be any help to Boyd when he wakes up if you're completely exhausted. Come on then, sit down, I'll get you another coffee."
Spence released his grip on Grace and watched as she returned wearily to her seat. He knew that she was trying to hold it together, probably due to Mary's presence, but he could see how worried she was, the pain and concern etched deeply into her face. Her bright eyes, which normally sparkled with mischievousness, were dull and tear filled reflecting only the fear laden darkness emanating from her soul. He closed his eyes against the helplessness that was rising within him. She looked so small and delicate as she slumped forward in the soft easy visitors chair holding her head in hands, a total contrast to the strong figure of Mary who sat upright staring silently ahead of her.
The night slowly drifted by and the three solidary figures waited together yet completely isolated lost in their own thoughts. Each one encompassed by memories and feelings of what this man meant to them. Boss, mentor, lover, friend, husband, father. Each of them different, yet every emotion he invoked within them as important as the next. Boyd had played a pivotal role in all of their lives, and indeed had helped to shape and mould the outline of who they had become. Three people now so glaringly aware of the finger print he had left on them all sitting here in the silence of the night and not one of them could honestly deny that they loved him.
The morning dawn bled quietly in through the slots of the yellowed blinds that covered the long grimy window. The echo of daybreak heralding along with it increasing clatter and din from the corridors beyond the door as the hospital woke to another day. Grace stretched tentatively feeling the strain in her back as it protested painfully to the treatment that the uncomfortable chair had afforded to her. She must have dozed at some point during the night, but got little sleep, worry and discomfort its enemy. Her attention fell on the chair opposite where Mary was slumped, her head fallen awkwardly to one side as she slept. Grace observed her closely. She could see why Boyd would have been attracted to her, even now that she had grown older, Mary was still a very beautiful and striking woman. Grace's mind, spurred on by exhaustion, tortuously began to play tricks on her, as she imagined them both together. So young, so in love, the future theirs for the taking. They would have made a very handsome couple, probably the envy of their friends. Everything so new and exciting for them as they embarked on married life, neither of them dreaming that one day it would end, that time would eventually lead them to this place.
Her face darkened as she remembered the difficult period during their separation. Boyd had confided in her that his marriage to Mary was effectively over and had shared some of the pain and distress he felt at his inability to make her happy and to make the marriage work. He was consumed by guilt for leaving Luke, but knew that he could no longer live with the daily misery that had become their lives. In the aftermath Boyd had moved into Grace's spare room for a few weeks until he found himself a more permanent residence, a fact she was sure Mary was still oblivious too. During that time both he and Grace's had deepened their friendship further. They spent many evenings chatting late into the night, Boyd opening up to her more than he had ever done in the past. She knew he was hurting, could see his own disappointment at himself radiate from his eyes and knew that he needed a friend he could trust. He needed her. They never crossed the line, even on the evenings when the atmosphere crackled with the unspoken attraction and desire. They were friends and now the best of friends but it wasn't until many years after that they became anything more.
Spence roused from his sleep beside her, his eyes adjusting to the small room illuminated by the morning light. He frowned deeply as the memory of the previous evening came flooding back to him in a wave of darkness. Boyd.
"Any news?" He asked noticing that Grace was already awake.
"No nothing yet, I was just about to go and find one of the doctors, but I am sure they would still be on their morning rounds."
Their noise of their conversation caused Mary to stir. She winced as she rubbed the back of her neck the creek painfully pressing on a nerve. "No news then?" She asked straightening herself in her chair as she observed the couple facing her.
Grace slowly shook her head in reply.
"Well, no news is good news as they say." Mary continued.
"Yea, I suppose."
Spence stood to his full height stretching as he did. "I'll go get us some breakfast." As he turned to leave the door opened and a young doctor entered. Three pairs of eyes immediately glared expectantly at him. He didn't look old enough to be a doctor, Grace observed, barely even shaving and yet right now, other than Boyd, he was the most important person in the hospital as he carried the only news she was interested in.
"How is he doctor?" Grace opened anxiously.
"Mr Boyd has had a very settled night and is quite frankly doing better than any of us expected."
There was a release of breath from all of them as the doctor continued. "As you know he lost a lot of blood and we almost lost him during surgery, but he has rallied well and we have been able to move him out of intensive care and into a high dependency ward. We fully expect him to make a full recovery."
"Told you he was a stubborn bugger." Spencer smiled at Grace relief evident on both their faces.
"Can I see him?" Grace enquired.
"Are you his next-of-kin?"
"Well ….."
"No, I am." Mary interrupted much to the astonishment of Grace.
"It's next of kin only at the minute I'm afraid, but if you would like to follow me madam you can have a few moments with him."
Mary didn't meet Grace's withering glare as she followed the doctor out of the room and down the corridor. She didn't know why it was so important for her to see Boyd, she just knew that she had too. She could tell how angry and upset Grace had been and she fully understood the reason why. Hell if the tables had been turned she would have been absolutely livid. Yet even with that knowledge she hadn't stopped herself from turning her back to her and leaving with the doctor.
Her thoughts drifted as she continued down the long brightly lit corridor. They had been through a lot together, her and Boyd, shared so many memories and experiences. She sighed deeply as realisation struck like a burning stake into her heart. She still cared for him, even after all this time, after everything he put her though, there was a part of her that still cared for him and now the surface had been scratched she had found love buried in the embers. For years she had told herself that it was Luke who connected them, but as she had sat in the small room waiting on news of his welfare she realised that her feelings still flowed deeper than she ever wanted to admit.
Mary pushed open the door and stood momentarily in the entrance. Boyd lay motionless, his eyes closed to the world and to her. The only noise in the room was the sound of the heart monitor he was connected to bleeping continuously. Slowly she approached his bedside. His hair and beard were completely silver now, it suited him. Made his handsome features look even more distinguished. She stood silently gazing at him as he slept. On the last few occasions they had met he had appeared haunted, the lines etched deeply into his face telling her a thousand stories he would never voice, but now, even after everything he had been through in the last twenty-four hours he looked so peaceful. She reached out tentatively and softly ran her hand across his face gently caressing his cheek. "Oh Peter, how did it ever come to this." She whispered.
He stirred beneath her touch turning his face further into her hand, a tender smile falling on his lips. His mind was hazy, a combination of weariness and drugs causing his focus to wane. Her touch was warm, her voice, so familiar, so comforting. Contentment filled his heart, as the assurance that everything was going to be okay surrounded him. Her touch, her voice, the assurance, contentment, peace, warmth, love.
Deliberately Mary bent her head and delicately brushed her lips lightly over his her heart racing as she felt him responding to her kiss. Her body tingled as adrenalin, like tiny shocks of electricity ran through her. This is how it should be, they should never have parted. Deep down she knew it and now she was sure that Peter realised it too. She continued to caress his face heartened by his response.
"I love you Peter." She murmured softly.
"Love you too … Grace." He wearily whispered.
Immediately she repelled from him her body reeling at his admission. He thought that she was Grace. The full impact of his declaration hit her forcefully in the chest causing her to gasp for breath. How could she be so stupid? How could she allow herself to believe that he still wanted her? She knew how he felt about Grace, she always knew. Why did she believe that this somehow would have changed anything? Because he hadn't changed his next of kin? Because she foolishly found herself in the still of the night admitting that she still had feelings for him? She covered her face with her hands, the taste of his lips still on hers. How could she let this happen?
Decisively she backed out of the room and made her way back down the long corridor, her head pounding in her folly. Everything within her was screaming for her to get out as fast as she could, but her legs refused to carry her beyond the nurse's station. As she approached she waited until she attracted the attention of the young sister behind the desk and began to speak.
The door to the waiting area opened and Mary entered. Grace immediately stood to her feet. She was seething. How could Mary have done that to her? She knew how worried Grace had been, knew how much she wanted to see him and yet at the first opportunity she had undermined their relationship and that was low, even for Mary.
"How is he?" Grace asked her concern for Boyd momentarily taking prevalence over her anger.
"Sleeping." Mary replied.
"I can't believe you did that Mary. You knew how worried I'd been, knew …."
"What did you want me to do Grace huh? I was listed as his next-of-kin."
"Even so …. you didn't even consider my feelings for one second."
"Yea well, you can see him now."
"What?"
"I've had a word with the nurse and explained the situation. They have agreed that you can go and see Peter."
Grace didn't wait to thank her as she hurried out the door, her need to see Boyd overtaking everything else. She quietly entered his room and went straight to his side blissful as she watched the expanse of his chest rise and fall. Unbidden tears made a path down her face as relief flooded her soul. Tenderly she took his hand in hers and lifted it to her mouth kissing it softly. "It's okay, I'm here now….." She whispered. "… and I'm not going anywhere."
The hours passed and when Boyd woke it was Grace who was by his side. He sighed contentedly, warmth surrounding his heart as he intently watched her. Her forehead was resting on the bed, almost prayer like, as she slept, her hand firmly intertwined with his. Weakly he squeezed her hand, smiling gently as she lifted her head to meet his gaze, her dark cobalt eyes immediately filling with tears.
"Boyd, thank God." She swiftly reached over and brushed her lips against his, her need to feel him respond to her overpowering. "I've been so worried."
"Why?" he shrugged straightaway regretting the sudden movement as he grimaced against the pain.
"Are you serious? You were shot Boyd, have spent hours in surgery, lost a lot of blood and almost died. You've had us all worried."
"Oh come on Grace ... you know only the good die young." His deep baritone voice was gravelly but he attempted to keep his tone was light as he desperately tried to comfort her and alleviate her concern while hiding his own private fear.
"It's not funny Boyd ..." her tears beginning to fall freely as relief once again washed over her in blistering waves. "I really thought I'd lost you." Boyd watched the myriad of emotions dance upon her face as she battled in vain to retain her composure.
"Hey, come here." he said softly, motioning with his head. She carefully climbed on top of the bed beside him and he gently encompassed her in his arms. "It's not gonna happen Grace. You're stuck with me, you know, because I'm not going anywhere." He said kissing the top of her head.
"Well that's just fine by me." She replied burying her head deeper into his neck. They lay in silence for a few moments allowing the proximity of the other to bring reassurance and solace. Just a few hours ago he had been terrified that he would never see her again. Genuine fear, greater than he had ever experienced before had ripped through his heart. The thought of leaving her and their life together had been devastating. He closed his eyes and breathed in the familiar scent of her. He loved her more than he thought it possible. He couldn't bear to lose her. Quietly he broke the comfortable silence, his voice longing as he spoke.
"Marry me Grace."
She lifted her head away from his chest and studied his face attentively. "Just how many drugs have they given you?"
"I'm serious ... marry me."
Her eyes searched his. His dark brown orbs piercing deep into her soul mirrored the intensity of her own love and desire.
"Okay ..." She smiled softly. "... on one condition."
"What's that then?"
"You ask me again, properly, when you're not high on morphine."
His face lit up as he grinned boyishly. "Aww you're no fun Grace, but I will. I'll do whatever it takes."
Grace ran her hand lovingly over his face his beard rough against her palm. With her fingers still resting on his cheek she bent down and kissed him. "I love you Peter Boyd."
"Glad to hear it…." He replied teasingly. ".. It's a definite requirement of being my wife you know."
"Hmm speaking of wives ..."
"What?" His tone infused with confusion.
"Mary. She's here."
"Mary's here?"
"Yea, she's been here all night. Didn't you know?"
"No. Why?" His forehead folded in a deep frown.
"The hospital contacted her; she is still listed as your next-of-kin."
Boyd closed his eyes and forcefully blew air from between the purse of his lips. "I completely forgot to change that. I'm sorry Grace, I'm sure you were wondering what the hell I was ..."
"It doesn't matter." Grace interrupted him reassuringly.
"Yes it does, she is my ex for a reason, and besides you are the only person I want to see when some arsehole has shot me."
They both turn as the door to the private side room opened and the surgeon who had introduced himself to Grace the previous evening entered followed closely in his wake by two other younger doctors.
"How are you feeling today Mr Boyd?" He asked approaching Boyd's bed and intently studying the read outs from the machines he was attached too.
"Like I've been shot in the chest." Boyd replied dryly.
Grace rolled his eyes in his direction but the older consultant only smiled kindly. "Well you have had a rough twenty four hours. You are going to be quite sore for a few days, but should make a full recovery."
Boyd returned his smile meekly. "Thank you doctor."
"Mr Boyd should get some rest now." He continued focusing his attention on Grace.
"Yes, yes of course." Grace replied turning to Boyd. "I'll be back in a while, don't go anywhere eh."
"Hardly bloody likely."
Grace returned to the waiting area and updated both Spence and Mary on Boyd's progress. The mood immediately lifted as their worry subsided.
"I'm gonna head off. I'll drop into the office on my way and update the others then I'm in serious need of a shower and some sleep. You want a lift?" He asked Grace.
She shook her head firmly. "No, I'm staying here thank you."
"Grace you need to sleep." Concern radiating in his voice.
"I know and I will. I just want to stay for a little while longer and then I will go home. I promise."
Spence could see the resolute expression she wore and knew that he would never convince her to leave with him. With a resigned sigh he relented. "Okay, but you promise me you will go home soon yea?"
"I promise Spence, stop worrying." Her hand reaching for his forearm in an act of reassurance. Spencer's concern for her wellbeing touching her deeply.
"Call me if you need anything, or if anything changes with Boyd, okay."
"I will."
"What about you Mary, can I offer you a lift?" He asked looking towards the younger woman. He could see that she too was exhausted the long night affecting her more than she had said.
Mary contemplated the offer for a few minutes before replying. "If it's okay with Grace, I'd like to stay for a while."
"Fine by me, if that's what you want." Grace's graciously replied too exhausted and relieved to argue or question the reason why.
"Okay then, I'll speak to you soon." Spence directed at Grace, before leaving the two women alone in the room.
The next few hours passed almost as slowly as the night. The long periods of silence broken only with uncomfortable small talk. Neither of the women completely at ease with the other, but both thankful for the tentative truce that had been drawn between them.
Mary knew she should leave, but wanted to ensure that Peter had no recollection of her kissing him. She accepted now that he had moved on and accepted that she, no matter how difficult, would have to do the same. Grace was clearly who he wanted and even she would have to admit that whatever they shared together seemed to work. It wasn't that Grace had tamed him; just somehow brought tranquillity to his soul that no-one else seemed able to do. Mary had observed it over the years, but never fully understood. He roared, Grace calmed. He shouted, Grace soothed. Maybe now she could start to see why Peter was drawn to her, why he needed her and obviously thrived when with her. Observing Grace through much of the night had left Mary in no doubt that she loved him deeply and if he loved her even half as much then it was right that they should be together.
When morning visiting time arrived Grace had gone back down to see Boyd. Mary remained in the waiting room to give them some time together, however now she knew it was time for her to leave, but before she did she had to speak to Peter.
Hesitantly she tapped lightly on the door before opening it. Grace sat in the chair beside his bed, their hands linked as they were deep in conversation. Both heads turned towards her as she entered.
"I'm sorry to intrude." She began. "But I am just leaving and I wanted to make sure you were alright."
"Come in." Grace spoke standing and pulling over the other chair that was sitting up against the wall.
"Thanks but really I can't stay."
Boyd looked at her and smiled. "Thank you, for coming to the hospital and for staying. You really didn't have too."
"I know." She replied. "But I'm glad I did." An uneasy silence hung in the air as a wordless conversation flowed between Mary and Boyd echoing acceptance and release. "I'm glad that you are doing well, I'll leave you both to it. Call me if there is anything I can do."
"Thanks Mary." Grace answered watching the younger women retreat. As she neared the door she turned delivering a parting shot.
"You know Peter, you are going to have to realise that you are getting much too old to play the superhero."
"What? Go on, get outta here." He guffawed.
"No. No, she's right." Grace agreed. "You are certainly not as young as you used to be and much too old to be taking on a thug with a gun."
"Wha …. What is this eh? You spend one night in each other's company and suddenly you have formed some sort of unholy alliance. Well you can both sod off."
"It's okay, I'm going" Mary laughed. "Look after yourself Peter." She said softly as she nodded in acknowledgement towards Grace. "Goodbye Grace."
Grace reached for his hand again and held it closely against her cheek. "You know it's only because we care. I couldn't bear it if anything were to happen to you" She said losing herself in the depth of his eyes.
"Yea, I know." He answered softly. "I know."
It had been six weeks since Boyd had been released from hospital, six long weeks and Grace had felt every one of them. He hated being on leave from work and grumbled bitterly every day. More often than not he found himself wandering into the bullpen on the premise of seeing Grace but was completely incapable of staying silent when it came to inputting on the case the team were working on, much to the annoyance of Spence.
"I can handle it Boyd." Spence told him forcefully.
"Yea … yea I know you can." Boyd held up his palms in a bid to pacify him. "But I'm here now anyway so I might as well throw my two cents in."
"You are supposed to be on leave, resting." Spence continued unable to hide his exasperation.
"I am resting. I'm resting here. Look I'm sitting down and everything." Boyd gestured to the seat beneath him. It was Grace who realised first that Spence was on the verge of losing patience and to be honest she couldn't blame him, but neither could she blame Boyd. He wasn't the type of man who would be happy convalescing at home while the rest of the world hurtled on without him. To ask him to do so was against everything his nature commanded him to be.
"Right you, come on." She said standing up and slapping him firmly between his shoulder blades before moving to her office to gather her bag.
"What? Why? Where are we going?" Boyd called after her.
"I fancy a walk by the beach and you're going to take me."
"We can't leave now; we're in a middle of a case. Spence needs us."
"You're not in the middle of anything and Spencer is very capable and will be able to handle this very well without me for one afternoon."
"Spence, come on, tell her ….." Boyd looked at him appealingly for backup.
"No. Grace is right. There is nothing she can do this afternoon anyway and the fresh sea air will do you good."
"Arrghh" Boyd shoulders sank as he sighed deeply resigning himself to the fact that he would never win this argument. "Don't think you will be getting away with taking the afternoon off when I'm back Grace. I don't care how much you want to want to walk on the beach."
"Wouldn't dream of it." She quipped back watching as he begrudgingly put on his jacket.
She turned her head imperceptibly towards Spence and gave him a knowing wink who in reply silently mouthed the words "Thank you." in her direction.
The sound of the waves lapping onto the shore was peaceful. The late afternoon sun still held its heat and radiated warmth upon them as they walked hand in hand along the waters' edge. He would never openly admit it, but Boyd was glad that Grace had forced him to bring her here. He loved the sea. No matter what mood he found himself in, the sound and smell the sea carried never failed to calm him. He looked tenderly at Grace. She had made him happier than he had ever been. For the first time in as long as he could remember he was genuinely content with his life and he knew that was entirely down to her.
Boyd stopped walking his stillness causing Grace to turn quizzically to face him.
"What's wrong? Are you okay?" She asked concerned that she had over done it with the walking.
"I'm fine, better than fine in-fact." He replied smiling gently at her.
"Well then, what is it?"
"I was just remembering the conversation we had while I was in the hospital."
"We had loads of conversations Boyd; you will have to be a little more specific than that."
"Okay then." He answered still holding her gaze while he steadily bent onto one knee causing her to gasp in amazement.
"The conversation I was eluding to, Grace, was when I asked you to marry me and you said that I had to do it when I wasn't high on drugs. So, Grace Foley…. will you marry me?"
Her eyes filled with tears as his words flooded her soul. "Of course I will." She answered immediately, dropping to her knees and cupping his face in hers as she kissed him. "I love you so much Boyd."
"I know. And I love you too Grace, more than I can even begin to tell you." He replied encircling his arms tightly around her and pulling her close to him while they both sat contentedly in the sand and watch the sunset over the sea.
Fin