Author's note
Hum, first I should warn you... this is a really strange pairing. I can't really tell if it's Shonen ai or not... I consider it not to be, since I consider Akari to be female as long as she's dressed and male once she's undressed. Since there is no stripping taking place here, this is not a shonen ai. But yeah,I warn you anyway. That and the age difference...
HOWEVER I'm not even sure this needs a warning. Why? No kissing, and no lemon. Just hints and implications. Mostly Sasuke/Akari with very slight hints of Sasuke/Yukimura and Sasuke/Kotaro, though not in a real "love" way, more like ambiguous friendship. So yeah, if you expected a yaoi lemon you won't get it here.
So there we go... I can't really remember how this idea came to me... there was a "crack pairing" contest ont he SDK club in deviantart, but I joined too late for that, so I tried to do one anyway. Will probably post it there too.
Now, on to the story. This happens at Kudoyama one year after the end of the manga, and it's based off the manga and not the anime. Major spoilers for those who haven't read to volume 24, very minor for the others (it just says whether they managed to defeat the red king or not).
Side note: I hate how doesn't allow you to space your paragraphs like you want. It normally allows to do a lot more with rythm and timing, but I can't do it here.
Anniversary
Akari walked up the path leading to the Sanada house, humming to herself. Despite the sharp slope, she wasn't out of breath, even with the long kimono, which was blue today.
"Why blue?" had asked Bontenmaru as he met her over breakfast that morning.
"Because I'm in the mood for blue." And the conversation had been closed. No one, even Bonten, discussed Akari's moods. Mostly because she was eccentric. But also because behind her jolly face and merry, outgoing attitude she kept her own darkness and pain. Not hidden, she didn't lie about the fact that she had been hurt, at least to her friends. But pushed in a corner, like the embarrassing presents you can't throw away because they came from a friend and that you keep somewhere out of notice, but not out of sight. Just like her gender, she mused. Her height and strength, the length of her strides revealed to the careful onlooker that though her mind and heart were those of a woman (or at least, she said so, and no one dared disagree), her body was not. But she hadn't tried to get rid of the "extra stuff", nor did she deny her physical gender if faced with the facts. I'm a woman in a man's body. There's no point in hiding that. It would be like denying my very existence.
The slope eased a bit and Akari started to grasp the faint sounds of a busy household, as well as shouts that probably came from random Juuyuushi training. Yukimura had better have some sake ready… I know they don't want too many visitors, but that road is a pain in the arse. I wonder why I even offered to tag along with that muscle heap.
Bontenmaru had come by her house a couple of days before, saying he was on his way to the Sanada household, to discuss plans with Yukimura, his current ally. She had been bored out of her wits, and was so glad to see him that she didn't want to be alone again the next day, so she offered to come along (though Bontenmaru would have described it as "not listening to a damn word I say and stalking me, chatting the whole way just to make me mad"). The idea of meeting with the handsome and funny Yukimura had also been a good perspective. Not to mention that he could keep up with her in a drinking contest. Despite his loud mouth, Bonten wasn't that good at drinking.
But since their last stop had been a very comfortable inn with nice hot springs, she had wanted to take a last bath that morning… And not in the evening when they were already full. She never was comfortable in those springs when there were others present. And when they had separate areas for men and women, she didn't know where to go. So she had gone early this morning while Bonten had gone early, and had asked him to tell Yukimura that she'd arrive shortly and was expecting to have a drink when she got there. It was now near noon, and she was glad to arrive as the sun started to heat her pink hair like white hot metal.
She was nearly into view of the household when she felt a presence above her.
"Mister ninja, would you please show yourself so I can see your face? I would really hate to talk to a handsome man and not know it. 3"
In a sounds of moving leaves, Saizo landed in front of her.
"Good morning, Akari-san."
"Hi there, Saizo-kun! Please reassure me, you knew I was coming, didn't you?"
"I knew, I was just checking that it was you and not some dimwit spy. Well, I'll be off ahead to warn Yukimura-sama."
And before she could tease him further, he was off.
She chuckled and walked onwards, finally getting into view of the buildings as she turned round a corner of the path. Smiling, she went towards the training area, which was on the way to the main house. Since she was in no hurry and wanted Yukimura (or rather, Saizo, since Yukimura was probably busy) to have time to prepare the drinks, she went to lean against the barrier, looking at whoever was training.
The taller had black hair and a missing arm, that he had replaced with a weapon. He was sweating heavily and either joking or taunting his opponent, depending on if the last strike had been to his advantage or not. His shorter opponent was a teenage boy with white hair carelessly tied up behind his head, who was wielding a black katana with grim determination. Unlike Jinpachi, he was silent, his yellow eyes focused on his opponent, his face emotionless. He was breathing fast and deep, but his mouth remained closed.
Still as serious, thought Akari, shaking her head. I wonder if he ever laughs. He's grown a couple of centimetres, though… not that it makes him tall. She straightened as the two stopped their fight and walked towards her, Jinpachi laughing and Sasuke wearing a very small contented smile. Apparently, he was happy with his performance.
"I swear, I'm gonna end up poisoning you if I can't win against you even when you're like this… Kamanosuke will never stop teasing me about it otherwise."
Sasuke smirked.
"Not my fault if you're useless."
"Shut it, you brat!" said Jinpachi, aiming a mock blow at Sasuke's head. "Good morning, Akari-san. So, Masamune-san gave you the slip?"
"No, I was just too lazy to wake up this morning. And besides, I had to prepare myself… I mean, this house is full of handsome men… I couldn't come without taking care of my appearance first."
Jinpachi laughed loudly while Sasuke chuckled, smirking once more. Akari looked back at him and shot him a side smile in return. He really hasn't changed much, though that new hairstyle looks good.
"So, did you come to help Masamune-san or just to find a potential husband?"
"I came for the sake of sake, and to get a chance to see my friends. I mean, it's been nearly a year…"
"Don't remind me", said Sasuke, talking at last. "Yukimura was mentioning something about doing a special drinking party to celebrate the anniversary of the fall of the Red King. And he won't leave me alone either… says he'll have me drink no matter what."
It was Akari's turn to laugh.
"Oh, afraid of drinking, are you?"
Sasuke gave her his famous glare, which made her want to giggle even more. He's so cute when he does that… reminds me of how young he really is.
"I'm not afraid, I just don't see the point in drinking", said Sasuke, cutting off her thoughts. "Besides, if Yukimura decides to force someone to drink, he won't just make him taste. He won't stop until you're drunk."
She tried to picture him drunk and laughed again.
"What's so funny?" he sighed.
"Nothing, nothing…" She wiped away the tears of laughter, conscious of Jinpachi who had been watching them with amusement.
"Sasuke, if you get drunk, trust me I will record everything you do and never let you forget it. "He grinned. "Well, I'm going to see what Kamanosuke is up to… if we don't want to eat yet another bear stew, I'd better convince her to be original." Winking to Akari, he turned and left, heading towards the house.
Sasuke sighed.
"Thanks for the support, Jinpachi…" he muttered.
Akari laughed inwardly and looked down at him with a side smile.
He looked up and frowned.
"What's the sly look for?"
"It's nothing, I said!" she insisted, trying to repress a laugh. "I'm going to go see if Yukimura and the muscle heap are finished yet… want to come?"
He shrugged.
"I'm going back anyway. And I've got to eavesdrop on Yukimura… if he really plans to have that party, I'd better find myself a mission to do on that day." He took out his kendama and started playing with it as they walked towards the house.
"Still got that thing?"
He looked up.
"Oh, the kendama? Yeah, Saizo and the others keep teasing me about it, but the truth is, it's good for the nerves… and when I really want to throw it in Jinpachi's face, it's better than actually fighting. Plus, I prefer to be teased about that than to have them look up new reasons. Saizo's getting annoying…"
"Why? Still going on about your height?"
He smirked.
"No… You might have noticed he isn't that tall himself… and since I took a few centimetres in the last two months… he's getting scared I'll catch up with him, so he shuts up about it. No, his new obsession is girls. I just have to say hello to anyone female, it doesn't matter to him if she's 8, 70 or already married, he goes on about how I'm growing up and how I should be careful not to play with the poor things' hearts, etc, etc." He sighed. "It's so annoying."
"Well, maybe he was a flirt when he was your age… though I doubt it, he's rather shy now… How old are you now, by the way?"
"13. I'll be 14 in four months…"
"And he still isn't any more mature" cut Saizo as he joined them at the door.
Sasuke glared at him, but instead of answering, he left without a word, heading towards the kitchen. Apparently, he didn't want to start yet another argument with the leader of the Juuyuushi. Akari thought that that in itself did show that he was more mature than Saizo gave him credit for, but she kept silent about it and decided instead to return to a less touchy subject.
"So, when are we drinking?"
Saizo looked slightly embarrassed, and though he tried to hide it behind his stoic ninja façade, Akari was amused to see him moving his left foot in embarrassment.
"Well, Yukimura-sama said that he still had important stuff to discuss, and that they wouldn't be finished for another two hours… But he did say that he'd treat both of you to a meal this evening to make up for it."
"I see…" She sighed. It was only to be expected… Though the samurai loved sake, he was still more attached to his dreams and ambition, and wouldn't change his plans just for the chance to get a cup.
"Is there anything I can do in the meantime?" asked Saizo, though his face showed that he really didn't want to know what she might want to do. Akari chuckled inwardly. Saizo was so transparent… it made him hilarious when he wasn't annoying.
"No, it's all right. I'll just hang around the place, or maybe go for a walk… If I remember well, there's a nice view from the top of the hill…"
"Oh, yes definitely!" said Saizo, obviously relieved. "And it's autumn, so the leaves will be golden!"
Akari nodded and winked just to see his eyes widen, and turned to get out of the house. Once on the doorstep, she wondered what she'd actually do, and decided to sit for a moment. Looking at the surroundings, she felt a tight feeling in her chest. No matter what, it seems I can't fit in, can I? Wasn't it funny that even in such a weird and freethinking place as the Sanada household, of which she knew nearly all the inhabitants as close friends, she felt like a stranger. Only when she had been with Kyo, Hotaru, Bonten and Akira had she nearly felt at home. Nearly. There was always a small barrier, though whether it was the others or herself who set it she didn't know. There was always a little after taste to all the laughs she had had with her friends, to all the evenings relaxing with the three others, to all the battles they had won. I wonder if one day I'll ever be able to laugh without a second thought…
"You guys are hopeless…"
She turned to see Sasuke coming out of the door.
"Come on, Sasuke, don't be so touchy!" shouted the laughing and heavily accented voice of Kamanosuke from inside the house. He didn't answer, but came out instead, mouth drawn in a thin line with anger, hands thrust deep inside his pockets. He walked to Akari and let himself fall down to sit next to her.
"What was that about?"
"Nothing." He looked slightly to the side, opposite her. "Just decided to be annoying, as usual. As if I had nothing better to do than listen to their stupid jokes…" He stared into space, a dark look on his face.
Now that's not right. A kid with such a warm heart as his should be laughing… or smirking, rather, she reminded herself, remembering how much laughing was against his nature. I wonder what's bothering him… A few minutes passed by, and she decided she just couldn't stand seeing that dark look… nor the hint of pain that had unintentionally slipped into his eyes.
"Hey, mind coming with me for a walk? I have to wait for two hours before your master deigns come out and greet me…"
He snapped out of his reverie and looked up. For a moment he just stared at her and she was going to blush and apologise for asking when he suddenly answered.
"Sure."
He stood up and stuck his hands back into his pockets.
"Where to?"
"I had thought about that panoramic view up there…" said Akari, standing too and wiping her kimono with her hands.
"That place? It's so boring…"
"Is it? I liked it the last time I was here."
"Maybe I just seen it too often… Well, if you want to go there, I'll show you another way. It's a bit more difficult than the normal path, but it's much more fun… and it goes through the forest." He stopped for a second." Though with that kimono of yours…"
"Hey, I'm not useless enough that I can't climb with it! I used to fight with Kyo, I might remind you… And I can bet none of the others could even walk with it. It's actually an achievement!"
He chuckled.
"All right… Then let's go."
And without another word, he started at a good pace towards the forest.
OOOOO
The path was small, and she would probably have never found it if he hadn't been with her. Every few hundred meters, he'd stop to show her a particular tree, or where a deer family had it's home. A couple of time he'd spring up a tree to point out a nest. Akari couldn't help but wonder at the way he climbed up trees. Climbing was not the word… The ninja usually were good at moving silently and fluidly, but there was something different in him… When he went up a tree, every movement seemed connected to the other. He slid up the tree more than he climbed, with a fluidity that made him seem more feline than human.
"Here, have a couple."
She jumped as he suddenly fell by her side, holding a handful of hazelnuts. Definitely, he's silent as a cat too.
"Thanks… "she looked around. "Er… an I supposed to open them with my teeth?"
He raised an eyebrow.
"If you really want to… I prefer to do it this way… " He walked a few meters forwards to a rock, put a nut on the rock, and placed his palm over it. Then, he put his left in a fist and hit the hand that was covering the nut.
"There you go!" He said, handing her the broken nut.
"That's a rather… unorthodox way of doing things."
He shrugged.
"Who cares? It works, and it's better than breaking your teeth on them. Here, hand me the rest…"
He broke the remaining nuts and gave her half, munching on one as he started walking again. Akari started eating hers, but frowned as she looked at the back of the walking boy. Despite his relatively cheerful attitude (well, cheerful for Sasuke, she thought), he walked faster than was necessary, and his shoulders were tense. He also gave up on his nuts as soon as he finished the first one, slipping the rest in his pocket. Something definitely is wrong…
They came out of the forest a few silent minutes later, and Akari half closed her eyes to shield them from the bright light of the middle afternoon. When they had adapted to the new strain, she walked quickly to catch up to Sasuke who had stopped at the limit of the much steeper slope on that side of the hill.
"Even if you find it boring, I still find this view beautiful", she said, contemplating the river and village beneath them.
Sasuke didn't answer her. He was looking down at the village, from which children's laughs could vaguely be heard. He didn't seem to care about the wind blowing a few lose strands of white hair into his eyes, nor about her curious glare. It was only when a butterfly came to fly just centimetres away from his face that he snapped out of his daydream and decided to sit down.
"Now I know it's none of my business, but I really have to ask you what's wrong… It's not like you to be moody like that."
He snorted.
"Ask anyone, it's exactly like me to be like this. Ask any of the others who were with us in the forest or at the Mibu. I never said I was a jolly cheerful person. If you wanted to have a laugh, it's Yukimura you have to talk to."
"But now the Mibu are defeated… and you're surrounded by friends… even if they can be annoying", she added with a chuckle. Then in a softer voice she continued. "So why the sad face?"
"It's nothing, I said!" he retorted angrily, before hugging his knees. Suddenly, for all his being the strongest of the Juuyuushi, for all his feigned coldness and all his smirks, he seemed small and lost. And most of all, incredibly sad. Akari stared at him. This wasn't the Sasuke she knew. The Sasuke she knew dealt with problems and people who hurt him by fighting back, putting all his heart into the fight and never giving up. The Sasuke she knew would normally snap at her for staring at him, and get angry at her if he thought she was hiding something important from him. At a loss for words, she noticed his breathing became irregular as it sometimes stopped suddenly and he sometimes winced in pain, though it didn't seen to be physical. And no one noticed? she thought angrily. Then she calmed down. She was a healer after all, so she was used to observing those little details. Most people wouldn't see it even if they tried.
"It's almost been a year…" he murmured to the empty sky, his pained voice almost inaudible.
She was about to say "since we defeated the Red King?", but stopped herself in time. There had to be something else… He had been very intent on destroying the Mibu, so that couldn't be it… besides, what in that victory could have hurt him as much… And suddenly as she caught sight of his yellow eyes, something clicked and she made the link between his nature, the nuts he had left uneaten and his real reason for wanting to destroy the Mibu. The anniversary he was thinking about was not the defeat of the Mibu king, but something that had happened just two days before. A wave of compassion and guilt washed over her.
"It's Kotaro, isn't it?" she asked in a low voice.
His eyes widened and he turned to look at her.
"How do you know about…"
"I knew an old friend of yours was in the 12. And when Nobunaga resurrected them… You knew he was dead, when no one had mentioned fighting against him… and you seemed pained…"
"I don't think I would have been able to fight against him if he had brought him back… I'd killed him once already… when I finally find him again he dies because of me… I could never have done it a third time. I might even have jumped in the middle of the fight to keep Kyo from hurting him…" He smiled sadly. "Pathetic, isn't it? As if standing up for a zombie made from his soul would make up for what I had done…" He hugged his knees tighter. "All this time he was prisoner of this revenge he wanted to get… He spent four of his short years as a near slave to Nobunaga just to get a chance to get to me… and then he willingly shortened what was left of his life… As if the life span of our race wasn't short enough…"
"I'm sorry."
He turned to look at her, surprised.
"Why do you say that? It's not like it's your fault."
"I worked with Hishigi, remember? So in a way, I am responsible. For your both your birth and his death. Though I never knew you personally until last year. And that stimulant that Tokito gave the 12... It came from Hishigi's laboratory too. So in many ways it's my fault."
"Don't. It's not because you cooperated with him at some point that you have to blame yourself for everything he did. Besides, even if you were part of the experiment, it was Hishigi's idea, so I don't hold you responsible. Don't blame yourself for every little thing that happened."
"I should say the same thing to you…"
"No." He kept silent for a few seconds. "My case is different… because he was my best friend and I betrayed him. The only excuse I can find is that I was small and scared… but when he attacked me, I knew he wasn't himself, so I should have fled or found a way to disarm him without hurting him…"
"But he was bigger and stronger than you… it was impossible."
He kept silent, but to Akari who had learned to read Akira and Hotaru's thoughts, his eyes spoke for him.
Then I should have died before I turned a weapon on him.
It was as if someone had stabbed her heart from behind and twisted the blade. He was blaming himself for those four years, for the betrayal his friend felt even though he really was innocent, for having been scared as the 12 years old had attacked him, for having lived on when his friend was suffering, for not having been able to explain himself earlier, for not having been able to protect him… and most of all, he couldn't accept that Kotaro had sacrificed himself for him when he considered himself the one responsible for everything.
How can someone so young carry such guilt in his heart, such responsibilities on his shoulders? She looked back to the time when they had fought together. Back then, this pain had driven him on, to avenge his friend and cauterise his bleeding heart. But now the Mibu were destroyed, there was nothing left… Kotaro had been avenged, but by doing so Sasuke was now left without a goal. Kotaro's body had disappeared into thin air, as if he had never existed… All that remained was emptiness, guilt and pain. How could she have been so blind? Unable to look at his pained eyes any longer, she hugged him tight, holding his head to her shoulder.
She heard him gasp in surprise.
"A… Akari, what the hell…"
"You idiot! And I bet you haven't told anyone about it either, have you? Do you really think we all care little enough about you not to want to know when something is bothering you?"
He relaxed a bit, but his voice was bitter.
"None of your business. It's my fault, I don't want to bring anyone into it. Besides, see what he got for caring about me."
"I said stop it." She tightened her hold and heard him gasp in pain. Now that was weird… She wasn't that violent when she hugged someone… At least not when she didn't want to make them wince. She let go of him and looked him in the eye, a disapproving look on her face.
"Sasuke… you're hiding something from me, are you?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Open your jacket."
His eyes widened.
"What?"
"Don't argue or I'll tell Yukimura about that little secret of yours."
He snorted.
"As if he cared about it. It'd probably make him laugh, and he knows worse things about me anyway."
"Sasuke… "she asked in a softer voice. "Please?"
He rolled his eyes and opened his jacket, revealing a slightly pink bandage that covered half of his abdomen.
"What happened?"
"Saizo and I were sent on a sabotage mission three days ago… Not a hard mission, but somehow the enemy got wind of it… and we were ambushed. Shouldn't have been troublesome, but… Saizo spaced out for a second, and I had to help him out… and, well, it's hard to block three swords at once. I blocked two." He shook his head. "That's why he said I'm not mature enough. He was mad at me, said I should have put the mission first. The truth is, I knew I'd get wounded, but I knew I'd be all right otherwise. Whereas he could have died. I think better one wounded and left to go home while the other completes the mission than one dead and the other one alone to do the mission. In both cases one has to do all alone, but at least there are no casualties."
Akari used her powers to sense the wound and winced. The cut was rather deep, and several abdominal muscles had been severed or badly damaged.
"And you've been training in this state?"
He shrugged.
"If we were in a battle, I'd have to fight no matter what… and it could be hours before I'd find somewhere I could actually even bandage it. So yeah, I keep training as long as I'm capable to. Besides, it's better than staying at home with the others getting all protective."
"Still, it's stupid to stay like that. Let me heal you."
He looked at her.
"You'll do it for free?"
She giggled.
"Of course not… this way I'll get another crunchy secret!"
"Get lost."
"Aw, come on… At least I don't ask for money."
"You wouldn't get any anyway, I'm broke. And didn't you tell Yukimura once that him and the Juuyuushi would get healed for free?"
"Yes, but if you remember, at that moment you decided not to go with him and stayed with Kyo instead. So the offer doesn't concern you."
"Bastard…"
"Now that's not a nice way to talk to a lady…"
"Lady, yeah, right… I prefer to stay this way. I've always healed before, I can wait a week or two."
"Sasuke", she said in a serious voice. He ignored her and stayed silent. "And what if the Tokugawa attack tomorrow? How do you plan to protect Yukimura and the others if you're wounded?" He winced, and she knew she was winning. "You say you want to be strong to protect them, but you let your ego get in the way… "
"Shut up", he hissed. The pain in his eyes was back and she knew she had gone too far.
"I'm sorry. But honestly, you should let me heal you…" She was about to say she could forget about her payment when he suddenly spoke again.
"Truth is, the only embarrassing secret I had I already told you… The only secrets I have… are either those linked to Yukimura's plans, and not mine to give away, or linked to Kotaro and too precious to give. And for the embarrassing stuff… well, when you live in this madhouse, you don't keep any secrets for long. There's always someone with you, wherever you are."
She was going to try to lighten the mood by teasing him when an idea struck her. She repressed a giggle. This was going to be very amusing… and it would probably take his thoughts off the sad memories.
"Then what about this: I ask you a simple question, and you have to answer truthfully. And then I consider the debt paid."
He looked at her suspiciously.
"What kind of question?"
"Aha, you'll see! So, deal?"
He sighed.
"I'd prefer to answer before getting healed, but I guess it would be too easy… ok, deal."
"Good. Now take off your shirt and the bandage."
"Do I really have to take the shirt off? It's not that hot with the wind…"
"And there I thought you forest dwellers were resistant to the cold… are you a ninja or what?"
He glared and finished taking off his jacket, then his black shirt. When he came to the bandage he swore.
"Kosuke did the knot in the back… can't reach it properly… I swear, she did it on purpose."
Akari laughed.
"Here, let me do it."
He turned his back to her, mumbling something about wannabe healers, and she started unfastening the knot, noting that he had tensed up at the contact. When it was undone, she helped him take off the long band and set it to the side as he turned back to face her. She winced. She had seen a lot of injuries, and was used to them, but seeing that half healed wound, she could only imagine what it would have felt like to fight with it. Not counting taking that walk with her or climbing up those trees. Did he not feel pain or was he oblivious to it? Or worse, did he actually welcome it, to help keep his heartache at bay? She looked at the rest of his chest. It was covered in scars, some little and nearly unnoticeable, and a few bigger, two just right of his present wound one particularly nasty one a few centimetres under his heart. How many battles has he actually fought? Once again, she wondered at the sharp contrast between his small height and boyish clothes, and the well hidden scars and muscles that told of hard fights and sacrifice. It was much more striking than the telltale white hair and feline eyes that screamed to anyone who yet ignored it that he wasn't really human.
She was staring at him, and Sasuke blushed slightly, looking to the side but not commentating. It was only when the wind made him shiver that she noticed her attitude was weird, and she cast him an apologetic smile.
"Here, lie down so I can do this properly."
When he hesitated, she put her right hand on his chest and gently pushed him to the ground. He hid his embarrassment by crossing his arms at the back of his head. She grinned.
"I'm sorry, but if I want to knit the muscles properly back, they have to be relaxed… so keep your arms by the side."
He glared at her and slid his arms back to his sides. She smiled and put one hand on the wound, holding it in a position where the deepest muscle was more or less in its normal configuration.
"You can close your eyes if you want. If you remember, the sensation can be rather… disturbing."
He nodded and complied, breathing deeply. Smiling gently, she started feeding her power to his wounded body, knitting muscle after muscle back into position, moving her hand each time she changed. As part of her concentrated on her mental projection of the wound and got to healing it, her eyes wandered over the boy, or should she say young man? He was definitely a sight worth looking at, she thought. Apart from the muscle heap, most of the men she had travelled and fought side by side with had been handsome, each in his personal way, but Sasuke had something which made him unearthly… His creamy white skin, which was very easy to spot among the slight golden tan of most Japanese, suggested delicacy, and his thin, white hair gave him a surreal air. Maybe that's what makes him so special, she thought. The way he lives a full life yet would cast it away without a second thought… the way he is caught straight between childhood and manhood… The way he never shows his feelings, yet would be capable of letting himself be killed just to ease a friend's pain… And the way he was human, yet held the fascinating power and movement of a wild beast.
Her eyes wandered back to his hair. I wonder how it must be… to be the only one of your race… If people so easily rejected me when I was young just because I had a power the others did not… I wonder how it must be when he goes out of the Sanada grounds… I mean, I looked human. If I met strangers, they couldn't tell that I was a shaman. Whereas he… Even if he died his hair, his eyes aren't easy to look away from. Her anger against all those close-minded humans rose again, from a corner of her heart which she thought she had forgotten long ago.
"What are you thinking about?"
She blinked. Sasuke, who now looked much more relaxed, had half opened his eyes and was looking at her.
"You stopped doing anything about a minute ago…" he continued.
Akari blushed and shook her head.
"I'm sorry. I got…" she tried for a few seconds to find an appropriate word, "side-tracked."
"So what were you thinking about?"
"Nothing in particular…" She remembered her anger at those who rejected him and chuckled inwardly. Like getting angry against them will change anything. "Here, close your eyes again, I'll be finished soon."
He nodded and closed his eyes again, letting his head fall to the side. Akari smiled affectionately as she got back to work. It's a miracle he can still have a warm heart after all this… I would probably have been bitter, and would hate everybody… The Mibu for creating me, the humans for rejecting me, the other forest inhabitants because I had to fight them. She finished the last muscle and got to the skin. Holding it closed, she sent her power into it, smiling as she saw it heal, leaving only a reddish scar. She ran her fingers along it to check that it was neat, and felt Sasuke shiver.
"Are you finished yet?" he asked, eyes closed tight.
"Yes, I am…" She smiled and sent a little of her extra power into him, a reverse of vampire's kiss to boost his life force and give him strength. "You can sit back up now… and remember it still needs a couple of days to heal properly."
Surprisingly enough, he did not sit up as soon as he had the chance to, as she had thought. Instead, he stayed as he was, eyes closed and more relaxed now she wasn't touching him any more, breathing deeply and serenely. The sight was heart-warming… I don't think I ever saw him look peaceful. She ran a hand through his hair, causing him to open his eyes and sit up.
"Thanks", he said with a small smile.
"You're welcome!" she grinned in reply.
He stood up and picked up his shirt, brushing the grass off it.
"So, what was your question?" he asked with the voice of someone who wanted it to be quickly done with.
Akari grinned, a hint of sly twinkle in her eyes. The question had been playing at the back of her mind for some time now…
"Say, Sasuke-kun… have you ever been kissed?"
Sasuke, who had been going to put his shirt on, stopped dead, his arms thrust through the sleeve holes, but the shirt not yet over his head.
"W…What?" he asked in disbelief.
"Well? Have you?"
"What has that got to do with anything?"
She laughed.
"Nothing in particular… I just think it's a secret worth knowing. So?"
He opened his mouth as if to say something, then gave up. He probably felt the huge blush that was coming to his cheeks, because he turned his back to her to hide it.
"No, I haven't. Happy?" And remembering the shirt he held in his hands, he put it on.
Akari grinned. She had been pretty sure, but it was worth hearing it from him, if only to see that blush. And it's probably not going to happen soon either, she thought with a pang of sadness. Even if he wasn't busy with working under Yukimura… the girl would have to be really open minded… She sighed. It seems people like us are doomed never to find love.
Hey, that's not true! another part of her said. Sakuya did. And Kyo too… All it takes is the guts to actually try and snatch your own happiness, instead of waiting for it to fall nicely packaged into your arms.
She chuckled. Now even my own mind is calling me coward… All her previous thought and emotions were converging towards one particular point, but dare she try it? Not that I have any chance… But then… She looked up at Sasuke, who still hadn't moved from his standing position and was looking at the valley again. It could open his eyes… make him notice that people do care about him… that his life isn't as worthless as he thinks.
She stood up and walked up to him, then put her hands on his shoulders and leaned over his right one.
"Would you like to try?" she whispered into his ear.
His eyes widened. He jumped and then turned, backing up several steps. Despite the hint of sadness as his yet anticipated reaction, Akari couldn't help but chuckle at his surprised eyes.
"I was joking, Sasuke. You don't have to look at me like I'm a kind of monster or something."
He softened a bit, knowing all too well what it was like to be considered a monster, but didn't get any less wary.
"I damn hope you were. I mean, what the heck was that about? And besides, you're not really a girl…"
She sighed.
"I know. I know it all too well, and that's besides the point. I told you I wasn't going to anyway, so now tell me, why did you freak out so fast? Because it's me or just the fact of being asked for a kiss?"
He seemed to ponder this for a few seconds. Then he looked down, sighed and chuckled.
"Both, I guess."
She shook her head.
"You're hopeless…"
"What? What are you on about?" he asked, still flustered and slightly angry.
She took a couple of steps towards him and he leaned back slightly, but didn't step away from her.
"Why should it surprise you?"
"Well… It's not like any girl in her right mind would want me…"
One more step.
"Why?"
"Well, I…" He was really blushing now, and conscious of it. Suddenly, it made him angry and he started to shout out at her.
"First, I'm not human, and that's much more troublesome that you'd think because even if I looked normal, what if I don't age normally like the Mibu, or die in a year of their damn sickness? You should know what it's like to be called a freak, do you think anyone will ever want me with those eyes of mine?"
She was taken aback, both by his fierceness and by the pain that started to be heard in his voice.
"Second, I can die at any moment, because the Tokugawa are still after our heads, though Tora probably feels guilty about it, and I don't think anyone would like to live with the fear of being abandoned without a second thought just because of some fight for power."
She was going to say something about the flaw in his reasoning, but he hadn't finished.
"And anyway… " his voice got lower, not breaking but getting closer to it," anyway, it's better that way. All those I love… get hurt. All those who love me… die… I've had enough. I don't want to cause more pain, I'm not worth anyone getting hurt because of me."
Akari closed the last step between then and hugged him once more, both arms coming across the back of his head and shoulders, squeezing him tight against her chest. This time he didn't even blush, but turned his face sideways and downwards, looking at the grass at his feet.
"You. Are. An. Idiot." Said Akari, looking over his head, but trusting her other senses to tell her of his reactions. When he remained silent she ran a hand through his half-undone hair and continued.
"First, those eyes of yours may be… " she paused for a moment " …unusual, but they're gorgeous, and any girl stupid enough to stop at that is not worth getting with. As for your life span… Sakuya loves Kyoshiro, right? He'll probably be as long lived as the Mibu too, and that didn't stop her. Or are you the one actually scared of being alone when the other one dies?" She felt him stiffen as he winced. "Sasuke, no one cares if you're human or not. Not anyone important, at least. I don't, Yukimura doesn't either, Yuya didn't give a damn, the others aren't exactly human either, so they have nothing to say about it, you're probably the only one who is conscious of it all the time."
She kept stroking his hair, looking into space.
"About what you said about the Tokugawa… Yukimura might get killed any moment too… Does that mean you'd prefer to go away so you won't be hurt when it happens?"
He gasped and moved backwards, as if to push her away, but she kept her grip on him, so he gave up and answered, still looking at the ground.
"No. But then that's different… I swore to someone I'd protect him to my last breath, and I never break a promise."
"It's not different. You're not the only one who might disappear from one day to the next. I know for myself that I would want to spend as much time with the one I love, just in case the next day would be the last… Not avoid him because I might get hurt… And do you believe that Yukimura doesn't want to protect you? That I don't want to protect you?"
"You do?" asked Sasuke, cutting her.
She chuckled.
"Of course I do. You just won't let me… nor anyone, actually. But you get my point, right?"
"Yeah… I think I do", he said in a soft voice.
"And about the last thing you said…" She paused. This part was probably the most important one, the core of his pain… and the most truthful too. She had to be extra careful… and to take into consideration both the lost child and the responsible adult…
"You know…" she said, unconsciously going back to stroking his hair, " love often comes with pain… But you are not responsible for the pain of those who love you. It's their choice… Well, it's not always a choice to love someone, but you can't be held responsible for people liking or loving you… Also… I think I can understand those who gave their lives for you… no, don't say anything, I'm not finished", she said as he started to move." You should be able to understand this, the way you Juuyuushi act around Yukimura… People are drawn to you, Sasuke. Because you have a pure heart, because you're strong and courageous, because of that stupid, yet noble habit of yours of keeping your promises, even when betrayed, because you show empathy even to your enemies. I know it hurts to have people want to give their lives for yours… at least now you probably understand how Yukimura feels… but you can't change who you are, Sasuke. You can't keep them from loving you, so the only thing you can do is to stick by them to make sure they are unharmed. Running away will avail to nothing."
"I hate it."
She stopped moving for a second. "What?"
"I hate it. I know I can't run away, and even bashing them in the head probably won't change the mind of anyone stupid enough to follow me, but if people would just leave me alone, then things would be much better. I'm not worth people risking their lives or just hearts for me."
Akari sighed, slightly annoyed. But then, she conceded, he has a reason to be depressed right now…
"Stop it. It's the same for everyone, you know. No one wants to see their loved ones get hurt… Now are you going to believe me when I tell you people love you, or will I have to kiss you for real to prove my point?"
Sasuke chuckled, a rare and beautiful sound to Akari's ear.
"No thanks, I'll pass. I get your point."
Akari took his shoulders and moved back a bit, looking down at him and grinning. He smiled back, with a smirk that was closer to a genuine smile than he would have wanted. Akari opened her mouth as if to say something, but Sasuke suddenly sprung back, hearing noise from the normal track up the hill. He bent down to retrieve his jacket, and started putting it back on as Saizo's form appeared from the turn in the path.
"So, can we drink now?" asked Akari before he even got time to greet them or to ask why Sasuke had his jacket off. She had seen his eyes widen, and a telltale frown upon his brow, and despite her cheerful voice she gave him a warning glance from behind Sasuke's back. Saizo blinked and hesitated for a second before answering.
"Oh, yes, he actually said that we'd all have a banquet tonight… Apparently, his plans are going good… So if you would please come back home… you too, Sasuke."
The later rolled his eyes.
"I was coming, no need to patronise me." He turned to the path and went ahead, leaving a frowning Saizo alone with Akari.
"You know, he's right…"
Saizo turned to her.
"Don't say that in front of him! He'll never grow up if you support him…"
"Shouldn't you be thanking him instead?" cut Akari. Saizo looked at her with wide eyes.
"Never mind…" and with this she followed the disappearing Sasuke down the path.
OOOOOOOOO
Yukimura was apparently happy to see her. After some overdramatic hugging on both sides, he had Saizo run for the sake bottle (or rather, as it turned out a few minutes later, sake bottles), and lead them to where they were supposed to eat, where a pouting Kamanosuke (who had been denied her bear stew) was preparing the dinner with the help of Kosuke and Jinpachi, who seemed as downcast from having to cook as his comrade was from not cooking her favourite teddy bear.
After a few bottles of sake, Kosuke announced that the meal was ready, so they all sat and started eating, Jinpachi and Kamanosuke arguing as usual, Yukimura drinking and joking around with Bonten and Akari, Saizo being stiff, the rest of the Sanada either taking sides in the Jinpachi/Kamanosuke fight or teasing Saizo, and Kosuke looking at them all with a soft and laughing smile. Akari was going to take her first spoonful of stew when something hit her.
Sasuke wasn't there.
She was about to commentate on it when Yukimura came to the same realisation.
"Hey, I can't believe he really decided to skip it!"
Bontenmaru, now a bit jolly with drink, turned to him.
"Who'r you talkin' abou'?"
"My little Sasuke-kun… He should know that I won't let him evade it forever like this… I swear he gets to taste sake tonight."
"How about I go get him?"
Yukimura turned to her with a slightly surprised expression, something she had rarely seen.
"If you want to… and if you can find him, I should add."
Akari smiled, though the faintest hint of a smirk managed to mix itself with it.
"I think I can do that."
The air outside was chilly, and Akari thought she had better find him soon so she could go back inside. Using her intuition more than her senses, she walked to the first hundred meters of the forest path he had shown her, until she could feel a familiar aura coming from above. Stopping directly under the tree he was in, she called out without even looking up.
"Yukimura misses you, you know."
She heard a snort.
"As if. He just wants to get me drunk."
"You know that's not true. Well, there might be a bit of truth, but you do mean a lot to him, and I know he's worried about you."
"Then why didn't he come to fetch me?"
"Because I asked him to let me do it."
There was a short pause before he talked again.
"Oh."
Akari sighed.
"Please… won't you come down?"
She nearly jumped as he silently dropped next to her. I really have to get used to it. She cast him a warm smile as he looked up from the corner of his eyes, trying to look aloof.
"Glad you decided to move."
"I still didn't say I was going there." He paused. "Why did you come to get me?"
"Because I have a good idea of what you're going through, and I thought you'd like it better than if Saizo decided to come instead."
He winced.
"You have a point. But then, Saizo probably wouldn't have found me."
"Also, I wanted to check that you were all right."
He kept silent.
"So, ready to go now?"
"I guess so… but you'd better keep Yukimura occupied, else I'll kill you tomorrow."
She laughed, getting a glare from him.
"All right, I'll see what I can do."
OOOOO
"Sasuke-kuuuuuun!" called Yukimura as the two made their way inside the room. "I was wondering where you'd gone!"
"Walking", said Sasuke with a shrug. You didn't have to worry, you know."
"Ah, but I'm always worried about you, you should know that."
"And you should know that I can manage", he retorted, purposedly sitting between Akari and Kosuke, apparently hoping to use them as a barrier.
Yukimura flashed a bright smile, his face slightly red from drinking but his eyes still clear.
"Ah, exactly… you're old enough to manage now, so you're old enough to try this!" And with a beaming smile he thrust a cup of sake in front of the young ninja's face.
Sasuke frowned.
"Yukimura… please…"
But instead of his master forcing him to drink he felt a hand on his right shoulder. He turned and saw Akari smiling at him, which caused him to frown.
"I thought you'd help me", he hissed at her.
Akari only chuckled.
"I do agree you have to taste it at least once… Go on, take this one and I promise to keep Yukimura busy for the rest of the evening."
"Traitorous bastard… all right, you'd better keep your word this time."
He snatched the cup from Yukimura's hand before the samurai thought about making him drink himself and brought it to his lips, dipping the very tip of his tongue into the liquid.
He fought back an urge to cough, not at the alcohol itself, but at his senses being overwhelmed. His sensitive taste and smell were being saturated, and he had to wait a few seconds before they calmed down and became less precise. Then he tentatively took a gulp, letting the cool yet warming liquid run through his mouth. The sensation was interesting, he thought. It seemed as though the sake evaporated as soon as it touched his tongue, and he took another gulp, swallowing it before it had the time to disappear this time. His senses were now accustomed to the taste and were starting to resharpen, and he could discern the different nuances in the flavour. Before he ahd realised it, he had finished the cup, and he snapped back to reality when he heard Yukimura giggle.
"Now that wasn't so bad, was it?"
Sasuke nodded and licked his lips slightly.
"Want another one?"
"No thanks… I think I've had enough for today…"
"Aww, come on Sasuke-kun…"
"Hey, is he getting all the attention? My cup is empty!" interupted Akari.
Yukimura straightened.
"Of course of course. Here, I'll fill it again…"
Sasuke thanked the gods that yukimura hadn't been on his first bottle when he ahd arrived and cast Akari a thankful look, retreating in the shadows between her and Kosuke. He closed his eyes, listening to the sounds around him and generally enjoying the peaceful yet noisy atmosphere. The sensation wasn't too bad after all, he reflected.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
When Akari prepared to leave the enxt morning she was pleasantly surprised to see Sasuke in the farewell party. While the others joked at Bonten, who was definitely not a morning person, and even less so after a night of drinking, she went to him, smiling.
"So, no hangover?"
He shrugged.
"Seems not… I guess there are some good sides to being a freak."
Akari laughed and ruffled his hair.
"I'm glad you decided to come yesterday night. It wouldn't have been the same without you."
"Thanks for keeping Yukimura occupied." He paused for a few moments."Akari?…"
"Yes?"
"When are you coming back?"
She looked at him, startled. He was shifting away in embarassement, but his eyes were steady.
"Soon… it's nice to have you as a friend, Sasuke." She grinned, bent down and kissed him ont he cheek before leaving in skipping manner, waving to everyone and trying to catch up to Bonten.
"So, what're you grinning for?" grumbled Bonten as he rubbed a hand against his temples.
"Nothing… It's just that for the first time in a very long time I feel at home."
Well, thanks for reading and please review. I love crit and I don't take it harshly, as long as it's not random flaming. If anyone has another pet crack pairing they want me to do, tell me and I might try it if I've got time and inspiration