Terry Pratchett owns everything about the Discworld, I, a poor pretender, have merely in tribute borrowed his world in which to play in. (And have not even attempted to emulate his extraordinary style). No breach of copyright intended.
This is my first Discworld story, reviews very welcome. Following feedback I have re-written the ending as it was too romantic - see, leaving reviews is valuable. And while I was at it have tidied up some loose ends.
Many thanks to Mercator and Merrymoll for their invaluable help. And Beloved Fool - your hobbit eyed begging worked - I have written a sequel in which Havelock has trouble with some Werewolves - poor man, he is just not safe outside his palace. And a big thank you to all my reviewers - we all need that warm cuddly feeling that sometime we've "done good" so thank you for taking the time to leave comments (I've turned that anonymous thingy off - didn't know what it was anyway - new here, don't know the ropes..help.)
This story unfolds over 7 chapters, roughly 51 pages in total - enjoy.
1. Pirates
"You promised me we'd be as rich as the King of Avor after that last ship, well we've barely made enough to re-stock at the next port!" Stutter whinged, wiping the blood from his sword. Having found a near empty treasure box on the merchant ship he was not happy and he had expressed his unhappiness on the now dead merchant.
Amarold Lockjaw, self styled Pirate King picked at what was left of his teeth, an idea was sparked by Stutter's remark. "Avor, exactly who is the King of Avor, is he a real person?"
Heris Stutter slumped down at the table. "Well yes, my cousin was talking about the King's daughter last Hogswatch, they are at school together.." Lockjaw raised a doubtful eyebrow at his second in command, ".my cousin is on the wealthy, respectable side of the family. Anyway, apparently the Princess doesn't want to inherit, just wants to write plays or something."
"So the King of Avor has an unmarried daughter? And is he really that rich?"
"Avor's supposed to have the biggest diamond mines on the disc."
At the mention of so much wealth the pirate king's heart and ambitions quickened. "So has anyone invaded it lately?"
"And the best defended passes - it is a series of valleys up in the mountains between Borogravia and Klatchistan that would be impossible to take by arms."
"Then perhaps we should take it by a different set of arms."
"What are you going on about now?"
"You are talking to the next King of Avor."
"What?" Stutter asked amazed.
"You said the girl did not want to inherit - well, she can marry me and I'll inherit. Then I will be the wealthiest man on the disc."
"Ambition is one thing, but I don't think a young princess will want to marry a toothless pirate." He eyed up the scarred wreck of a man before him, a life at sea and in constant battle had not added to Lockjaw's natural ugliness.
"We'll do some research and I'll me buy some ivory teeth."
//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\
Later, after much listening to wise men read to them; (it is amazing how well librarian's react to a sword at the throat and a match threatening their books). Lockjaw summarised their new knowledge about Avor and its method of inheritance. "So each generation the new heir has a Choosing, and only rulers and high-borns need apply. And the Chosen One shares the throne with the heir if the old King dies, and how old is this King?"
"Seven hundred and thirty three years, and in poor corporeal health."
"And the Choosing is next spring." Amarold Lockjaw smiled mirthlessly - not a pretty sight. "Well, we need to find somewhere where we can invade from the sea and I can rule, I will then qualify for the Choosing - and lets make it easy for the dear girl to Choose, I think it should be a contest of one - just me."
//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\
Mustrum Ridcully wound his super-delight dragon dry fly under the large half crystal ball he had recently acquired for the purpose as a magnifier. Dibbler had told him it would be perfect for the job (then happily pocketed the profit from the sale of the of the broken crystal ball and patted himself on the back for ingeniously recycling a previously enjoyed item, then tried to think of someone to sell the second half to). What none of the participants in this commerce knew was that the crystal ball was enchanted and had been supplied discreetly by the Pirate King.
When later Ridcully pricked his finger on the fly and suddenly felt very sleepy, the rest of the college joined him in a long yawn then decided to settle down for forty winks. It would be the longest doze of their lives.
It was some days before anyone noticed that there were no wizards roaming the streets or drinking in the Mended Drum, and delivery drivers going into the University did not come out - magic had gone to sleep in Ankh-Morpork.