Explosions

You trembled like you'd seen a ghost
And I gave in
I lack the things you need the most, you said where have you been
You wasted all that sweetness to run and hide
I wonder why
I remind you of the days you poured your heart into
But you never tried
I've fallen from grace
Took a blow to my face
I've loved and I've lost
I've loved and I've lost

I was falling.

I didn't feel much except the pressure of the wind as I fell, then the cold, wet water as my body impacted against the waves which were forming larger than me. I struggled against the current, trying and yet failing to keep my head above water. My hands were feeling numb and I started to feel tired almost losing consciousness but I continued to struggle as my breaths got narrower I was then pulled under suddenly, I couldn't struggle against something which was in my head so I decided. I stopped fighting and let the water take me and before I lost consciousness I saw him. The boy who left me alone. The boy who made me feel empty inside and yet seeing him so beautiful made me feel hope once more. His features were colored in sadness and that just confused me. We're going to be together again.

A sharp coldness grasped my arm and I didn't understand it as I suddenly breathed in and started choking from the amount of water I consumed. My eyes opened slowly and then I saw the only doctor who I could trust my entire existence with and was the only one of them. That could help me without feeling the temptation of my blood. His face was a mask of shock and I could see him opening his mouth like a goldfish. It took a second for me to understand he was trying to talk to me but I was just staring at him like...- like an infatuated teenager. So I spoke and reinforced the infatuated teenager idea. "Carlisle...? You're here? Carlisle... Carlisle... God.." Then I saw the smirk on his face which could be interpreted as that he had the same thought or he was just happy to see me. I wished he'd speak again just because I missed his voice. It was a dangerous thought considering his son was my ex-boyfriend. Well adopted son and my ex-manfriend because boy and Ed-...him didn't belong in the same sentence.

"Isabella." I couldn't help but nod as his worry shone through my given name. He had only ever called me Isabella once before and that was when we first met and honestly I felt something for him when he said it but I had corrected it automatically then. No one calls me Isabella and yet Carlisle just did and I didn't know what to feel so I moved towards him and he just froze. His eyes were becoming a darker shade of gold and I heard him mutter an apology for leaving. I felt warm, warmer than before and even if he was cold as ice with his hand on my hand, I still felt warm. His eyes became pitch black and he let out a small growl that seemed silky smooth with passion. Then his hand brushed my cheek and I blushed automatically. I didn't know why I was reacting this way but I didn't mind, I liked it. I liked this sensation he brought to me so I didn't move hoping he'd understand. The hand that was on mine moved slowly to my stomach and brushed it, unsure but steady. I shivered as his ice cold fingernails touched me. It brought a reaction he leaned forward, second-guessing my reaction so I moved. Forward. Until our lips touched and the contact ignited a spark within me I leaned into him completely as his arms grasped my back and he seemed to move his hands up and down me making me surrender to him and I started in my lust, to try and unbutton his shirt but he stopped and pulled back, his eyes beginning to regain a golden tinge.

"I'm so sorry Bella.." He spoke as if he wished that didn't happen but I could see in his eyes a confusion and maybe sadness. "I didn't mean for that to happen." I felt all hope vanish in me as I truly realised that I wanted Carlisle and he denied me. "So that was a mistake?" I failed in hiding the hurt and pain at his words and he noticed. He reached to touch my cheek but I pushed his arm away softly. I continued to speak unwilling to let him to say anymore. "I don't really know what to say other than that it was wrong but it felt right.. and I did want it to happen. But I guess morally then it can't happen again. So I'll just leave." I stood and began to walk away, my eyes closed and I wasn't really paying attention so it was no surprise when I tripped but he caught me as I knew he would. He turned my face to look at him and I could hardly hide my small moan as I realised he looked hungry for something. He seemed conflicted so chose his words carefully.

"Bella... I'm not usually someone who demands anything from someone unless for the protection of my family but right now Bella.. Sweet, Sweet Bella. I want you... No, I need you." He made me melt as he stared into my eyes with hope.

Despite all the risks if we did something, despite how wrong people think it would be I knew what I wanted. So I leant forward and kissed him hard on the lips.