Okay, this is my first ever Fanfic! So before you read, I just wanted to say a few things. Number 1, Thanks for reading!!! Number 2, Sometimes my grammar royally sucks. I feel the need to apologize in advance for this, but sometimes I am exhausted. I will have it be known that I used the spell and grammar check in word. However, I am fully aware that they can only do so much. Number 3, I did do my own spin on the games dialogue, so please don't hate me for it. I love the game, I just wanted to make this story a little more my own. And lastly, Number 4, I do not own right to Dragon Age Origins. I assume all respective rights to Bioware, Ea, and the respective developer's on making such an awesome game. So enjoy reading, and leave me some constructive criticism on my grammar if it becomes to much like a train wreck!

"I never knew
I never knew that everything was falling through
That everyone I knew was waiting on a cue
To turn and run when all I needed was the truth
But that's how it's got to be
It's coming down to nothing more than apathy
I'd rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who's still standing when it clears

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head"

"Over my Head" The Fray.

Morrigan was still talking, but I could no longer make out the words. I could feel my heart breaking while the witch spoke to me about another way. Already I had consigned to give my lover to another woman, only to find that our only way out was tragedy. Morrigan's words at first had given me such a surge of hope that upon learning the true intentions I felt as if I were quickly sinking in despair. I would have to give him away twice, or one of us had to die. We were to die eventually, I knew that shortly after my Joining, but that still gave us a good thirty years together. I felt cheated, and robbed of my own life.

Quickly I had to remind myself that were it not for Duncan, I would be dead anyway. Besides, did he not absent-mindedly give me the greatest gift? Morrigan was staring, bringing me back to the cruel reality of the situation at hand.

"Well?" said the witch coldly, as if this were all up to me. I swallowed a lump in my throat, feeling a blush creep it's way the tips of my ears.

"I have to speak with Alistair first…" I trailed off. What would I say to him? 'It's your lucky day! You get to have ritual sex with Morrigan! Doesn't that sound like fun?'

I felt bile rising in my throat, and had to swallow quickly lest I be sick on the witch's shoes. Morrigan sneered at me, an expression I had grown familiar from months of contact. The look she gave me meant that she disapproved and thought me weak.

"Well, then you had better be on your way. Come back and speak with me after, let me know your decision." She said lightly, and waved a hand at me as if she were dismissing an obnoxious child. I turned then; feeling as if each step I took towards the door weighed the same as Shale. Every movement I made felt so completely surreal, I began to wonder if I was dreaming it all up.

The click of the door's latch striking home made me jump a little, and I realized that this wasn't just a bad dream. It was horribly real, and horribly difficult. I walked down the hall, a walk that seemed to last forever. I had to stop just a few feet away from his door when I realized I was trembling. Surely I wasn't about to do this, I thought bitterly. Tomorrow I will lead Ferelden into battle, and one of us will give our lives for the greater good. It was our duty as Grey Warden's. Our duty… I suddenly loathed the meaning of the word. Leaning against the stone wall, his door but a few feet from me, I was reminded of our conversation just a few days prior.

"Are you sure this is right?" He asked me, waking me with a start. I had fallen asleep with his arms around me, but from the chill I realized without turning over that he was not next to me any longer. I rolled gently to my left side to face him, pulling the wolf pelt over me to cover my nakedness. He didn't have to remind me of the subject, I knew what weighed on his mind. The thoughts weighed even more heavily on my own, the weight of them crushing me so that at times I felt my heart my just stop beating. His back was to me, and I stared at the muscled flesh with awe. How can something so strong be so very gentle?

"I don't know if I can do this Edana…" He said, knowing I was awake now. I sighed deeply, silently hoping he would just go back to sleep and forget about the decisions we had just made. We had just left Arl Eamon's estate in Denerim and set up camp a few miles outside of the city. The sounds of the city made me feel claustrophobic, and I wanted to sleep outside on the ground. Having been born Dalish, I had known no other luxuries than those of nature. Nothing was more comforting to me than the feel of the ground under my body. "Are you listening to me?" He said shortly, not even attempting to mask the annoyance in his voice. I sighed again, and sat up holding the wolf pelt to my chest.

"You can Alistair. It is your duty to be King." I said softly, reaching one ivory hand out to stroke his tanned back. "Bother duty!" He exclaimed, turning to me suddenly. His brown eye were a light with passion and defiance, a surprising change from the loyal and compassionate eyes I had come to love. "I did not choose to be a Royal bastard, Maric did that for me. This was never meant for me! I will be a terrible King and you know it! And to arrange a marriage between I and Anora… Well, the thought just sickens me. Did you know she called me his 'twin'? She is an insufferable woman, and I cannot commit to spend five minutes with her let alone my life…"

I had to stop him, "You cannot talk like that. You have taught me that duty comes before everything Alistair. Before friendship, before love, we must uphold our vigil. You cannot change your mind now, not when we need you the most."

He snarled, gritting his teeth so loudly that it made me wince. I felt heartbroken enough already, and his anger made the weight of my decision even more abrasive. He dropped his head, as if he refused to look at me. I reached out to him, tracing his jaw line with my ivory fingers, forcing him to look at me. "My love, if I could have it any other way I would. But you know in your heart this is the way it is to be. I can never be queen, and Ferelden would hate you for deserting your obligation. I would rather die than know that loving me has separated you from your convictions."

He looked at me painfully, "But this means I have to have an heir. I have to marry and… you know… with Anora. I never wanted to be with anyone but you!" No longer can I fight back the tears that have been threatening to fall. I shake my head at the thought, trying to erase the image of Alistair entangled with Anora. "You must do it Alistair. It is your blood right. I will always be here by your side, as a lover, a friend, and your general… What ever you need me for I shall never leave." I closed my eyes, feeling the hot salty tears run down my cheeks, settling on my lower lip.

I felt his rough hand brush away the tears, and his gentle lips upon mine kissing them away. I fought to contain the few choked sobs that threatened to escape me, but I failed miserably at the task. "Do you promise?" He asked simply. I opened my own topaz colored eyes to meet his lovely chocolate ones. "With all that I am." I answered weakly. His smiled sadly, and kissed me again, releasing that same feeling of intense passion within me. I put my hand on the back of his head, and felt as his own hands were filled with a handful of my ebony hair. Together we lay down together, and once again gave into our insatiable needs.

I realized that I was crying, silently sobbing in the stillness of the hallway. I wanted to beat the wall in my anger; I wanted to scream at the Gods. I wanted to tear the castle down stone for stone. I crossed my arms over my exposed midriff, and leaned into the wall to give into my sobs.