Headexploady: Very sorry for the inexcusable absence. Well I'm back now, and here is my quick comeback fic. I do not own JTHM.
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Dear DIE-ary,
It seems as though this is the final page. How is it that I have spent my days writing in you, and now that I've come to the last page, there is still absolutely nothing to write about. That just goes to show you how pathetic I really am, but I don't need to tell you that, do I? After all, I tell you that every time I get the damn chance.
Well if this be the death of you, then this be the death of me. After Squee graduated and Devi moved, you were the only thing keeping me sane. I fear that since you are gone now too, there is no stopping me. What else is keeping me on this planet? This continuing source of inspirational gravity is but only a dream now, and its time for me to wake up. I think its rather funny that people see it the exact opposite. Dumb fucks see it as falling asleep and never waking up…I see it…rather differently…
Most people wish upon every star that they knew what was out there beyond this life, and I'm tired of wishing. Anything is better than sitting in this room, eating spaghetti o's and killing people. I'm tired of giving ignorant people the privilege…no..erases honor of seeing what I need to hold so very dear.
Hmm….it seems as though the final lines are approaching…I hope they find me. I hope they see what I had to go through all these years. Think of it like a disease, and I wish to infect people with the pain I had to go through, rather than the fucks they'll find downstairs. I really hope they feel the pain of an already empty soul, rotting away into oblivion…damn, I really miss you Squee…Now I realize why you left me…I deserved everything.
Last few lines…now I know what it feels like to be on death row. Just watching the clock, knowing the end is coming within a matter of minuets…seconds…that has to be the worst feeling anyone could ever feel, especially when you know you hurt people…people that you loved…I think its time for me to go. The last line is coming up, but this time when you die, I will be right with you brother. And who ever finds me, I just hope you know. This is NOT a suicide note…I was dead way before I ever picked up this pencil…
-Johnny C.
(signed in blood)