'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
"… u… ru…"
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.
"W… ke…"
The children were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of…
"S… b… u…!"
Sugar-plums danced…
"I said wake up damn it!"
"Huh, what?" Subaru's head snapped up from her drool soaked pillow and looked around in confusion. Quickly coming to her senses, she scanned the darkness to find two familiar silhouettes. "Nove, Wendi, what is it? I know you want to open presents, but it's not morning yet…"
"We know that!" Nove whispered fiercely. "But we have a problem!"
"Me and Nove went downstairs to take a little peek," Wendi explained. "But there's some strange person down there!"
"What do you mean?" This caused Subaru to spring out of her bed. "Is it a burglar?"
"We're not sure, but it could be!" Wendi said urgently. "Come on, we'll show you!"
The three cyborgs made their way downstairs on their tip toes, careful not to cause the floorboards to creek. They poked their heads through the doorway into the living room, where they saw a large shadow shuffling in the blackness.
'See, we told you!' Nove said mentally.
'You're right!' Subaru frowned. 'There's no way I'm letting some crook steal Christmas! Let's get him, girls!'
The other two nodded as they slowly crept into the room. The intruder seemed too busy in whatever he was doing to notice the three girls, so they easily got the drop on him. With suppressed battle cries, they jumped him and let their fists do all the talking.
The shadow gave muted yelps of pain as he was pummelled until his movement eventually ceased.
"Wendi, get the lights!" Subaru ordered. Wendi obliged and with the lights on, the three studied their quarry.
He was fat, wore a red suit, and had a fluffy white beard.
Subaru, Nove, and Wendi looked at him, then each other, and then him again.
"AHHH! WE KILLED SANTA CLAUS!" Subaru and Nove screamed.
"… You mean he really exists?" Wendi blinked and then she freaked out. "AND WE KILLED HIM!"
"AHHH!"
"WAAH!"
"GAAAH!"
"What's all this racket down here?"
The violent trio turned to their three older sisters who had ventured downstairs.
"Gin-nee, we didn't mean to!" Subaru sobbed.
"We thought he was a burglar!" Nove explained.
"It's all Nove's fault!" Wendi pointed.
"Oi!"
"What are you three…?" Ginga moved her sleepy gaze to the floor where the man in red lay motionless. She lingered a moment before she turned to leave. "… I'm still tired so I'm going back to bed."
"Ah! Gin-nee! Don't turn away from the reality before you!" Subaru reached out to her fleeing sister.
"Don't worry, he's not dead." Cinque said calmly, having crouched down to feel the man's pulse.
"You two did quite the number on him, though." Dieci noted.
"But what do we do? If the Bureau finds out we hurt some one…" Nove trailed off.
"… Would the Bureau really believe we beat up Santa Claus?" Wendi wondered.
"What do we do if he doesn't wake up?" Subaru worried.
"… With all the noise you're making, not even the dead could get any rest." A groan escaped the fat man.
"Santa! You're ok!" Subaru brightened.
"I can barely move, actually. Little help here?" He asked as he failed to lift himself up. With their cyborg strength, Subaru and Nove easily got him onto the couch. "That's much better." Santa sighed.
"Here, Santa." Nove offered him a plate of milk and cookies. "These are for you."
"Thanks." He weakly raised an arm and took a cookie, some how managing to get it to his mouth. "But this isn't enough to change the fact you three beat me senseless."
"We're so sorry!" Subaru, Nove, and Wendi bowed simultaneously.
"Apologies can come later." Santa frowned. "The problem at hand is how I'm supposed to deliver the rest of these presents in this condition."
"So you're saying you're the real Santa Claus?" Cinque inquired sceptically.
"The one and only." He said. "But I suppose you want proof… Well, in her letter, Nove wanted a PS9, Subaru asked for some high quality oil for her device, and you, Cinque, asked for a stu…"
"Aaaah, ok, I get it!" Cinque flushed. "You're the real deal."
"So, do you still have a lot left to deliver?" Dieci asked.
"Of course he does!" Nove snorted. "He has to deliver to all the houses in the universe!"
"Even with magic today, doing something like that is impossible." Santa chuckled slightly. "No, since long ago I've actually divided up the workload amongst my staff, each person covers a different area. This year, I'm only responsible for delivering presents to Clanagan. That said, I've only hit a few houses so far…"
"Then we'll do it!" Wendi declared. "It's our fault you're like this, so it's the least we could do!"
Santa stared at her incredulously. "So you're saying you'll take my sleigh, ride around the city, and deliver the presents?"
Ginga thought it over for a moment. "… Since this is a dream, we might as well go for it."
"… I don't think the situation has registered in her head yet…" Subaru sighed.
"Do any of you girls even have a licence?" Santa asked. "You need a licence to drive a sleigh."
"Really?" The others looked between themselves. "There's only one person…"
X-X-X
"PAPA-RIN!" Wendi shouted as she barged into his room and leapt towards his bed. Genya's highly honed reflexes caused him to turn over, making Wendi bounce off the mattress.
"What is it, Wendi?" He mumbled. "You're not opening your presents until morning."
"Big trouble!" She called. "We have to save Christmas!"
"… That's nice. Make sure you're home by curfew…"
"But we need your help!" Wendi said. "You're the only one who can drive Santa's sleigh!"
"Huh?" Genya finally opened his eyes to look at her, also noticing the rest of his daughters standing in the doorway. "What are you talking about?"
"Come downstairs and you'll see."
After trudging down the stairs, the father of six spied the stranger lounging on his couch.
"Who is this?" He asked.
"Can't you tell by looking?" Subaru asked. "Dad, it's Santa Claus! We thought he was a burglar so Nove, Wendi and I beat him up, but because of that he can't do the rest of his deliveries!"
"… I'm going to call the police." Genya muttered, turning to leave. The younger half of his daughters quickly clung to him.
"Nooo! He's really Santa! And he needs our help to save Christmas!"
"Santa Claus? Are you serious?" Genya sighed as he turned back. "How do we know he's not just some wacko in a costume?"
"Genya, when you were seven you wanted the Super DX Combining Godrandum." Santa stated plainly.
"… Santa, huh?" Genya scratched his head. "And you girls beat him up, so it's up to you to make the deliveries?"
"That seems to be the case." Cinque nodded.
"Santa said we need a licence to drive the sleigh, and you're the only person who has one!" Nove added.
Genya sighed again. Of all the messes he thought he'd have to bail his daughters out of, this wasn't one of them.
"… Your sleigh and reindeer are on the roof, I'm assuming?" Genya asked the other man.
"That's right. The list and present bag are also up there too. Just follow the directions, drop off the right gift, and move on. It's a simple, efficient system." Santa explained.
"Guess we have no choice." Genya said. "Ok, Ginga, you stay here and tend to our… guest."
"Ok." Ginga nodded, thinking that treating the injured was a boring way to spend a dream.
"The rest of you are with me." He ordered his other daughters who responded in the affirmative.
"Ah, if papa-rin is going to be driving, you have to look the part!" Wendi suddenly declared.
X-X-X
Minutes later, Genya, now wearing the famous red outfit with a faux beard, placed a ladder against the side of his house.
"So, where exactly did you get this outfit from?" He asked.
"Don't sweat the small stuff!" Wendi grinned. "Let's just go!"
They all climbed up the ladder and stood on the roof. They then found themselves gawking as they spied the big red sleigh and the nine animals tied to it.
"Wow, it's really Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donnor and Blitsen!" Subaru cried.
"And Rudolf too!" Nove added.
"Who the heck are you guys?" Rudolf asked. "Where's the old man?"
"He talks!" Wendi gasped.
"It's getting him to shut up that's the problem." Comet muttered.
"Hey, shut your hole, Comet!" Rudolf growled. "I'm the leader of this here operation, so show me some respect!"
"Whatever, let's just hurry up and get this over with." Dasher said gruffly. "It's freaking cold up here."
"You should just retire already, gramps!" Vixen snorted.
"… Don't get me started on the things I could say about you, Vixen." Dasher retorted.
"You wanna fight?"
"You're on!"
"… Kind of ruins the fantasy, doesn't it?" Dieci sighed.
"… You said it." Cinque agreed.
"Ok now, settle down you guys." Genya spoke up. "Santa had a little… accident and can't make the rest of the deliveries. So we're here in his place."
"You mean the fat man's out of commission?" Dancer's head perked up.
"All right!" Prancer cheered, shrugging out of his reins. The others followed suit as they began glowing and within moments the deer were replaced by nine men.
"The boss isn't around, so let's all go get drunk!" Cupid declared.
"Yeah! I know this place that'll still be open!"
The Nakajimas could only watch as the reindeer jumped off the roof and made their way down the street.
"… So they were familiars…" Dieci noted.
"… For being creatures that only have to work one day a year, they're surprisingly lazy." Cinque added.
"Great, now what are we supposed to do?" Nove growled. "Without the reindeer, how can we move the sleigh?"
"Should we go after them?" Subaru wondered.
"Even if we did, they didn't seem too interested in doing their job…" Wendi sighed. She then noticed Genya, Cinque, and Dieci send looks at the younger siblings. "… What?"
Moments later, Subaru, Nove, and Wendi found themselves tied to the sleigh.
"… You can't be serious." Nove said.
"Whose fault is this, anyways?" Cinque asked dryly as she, Genya, and Dieci sat in the sleigh. "You have to take responsibility."
"But Cinque-nee…" Nove whined.
"Give it up, Nove." Subaru put a hand on her shoulder. Besides, our Wing Road and Wendi's board are the only things that can move the sleigh anyways."
"We might have another problem." Dieci piped up. "All that's back here is an empty sack." She held up said item.
"What? But isn't there supposed to be a huge bag filled with tons of presents?" Wendi asked.
"It's completely empty." Dieci emphasized her statement by holding the bag upside down. "Not even a single ribbon." As soon as she said it, a ribbon fell out of the bag. "Huh? But there was nothing in here a minute ago…" This time she reached down into the bag. "Huh? I can't feel the bottom…"
"Hm, perhaps it's connected to some sort of pocket dimension?" Genya pondered, activating the terminal in the sleigh and causing a list of names to appear. "Let's try this… Timmy O'Tool's gift." When he said it, a bulge appeared in the sack. Dieci reached in and pulled out a wrapped box.
"So that's how it works." Cinque nodded sagely.
"I wonder if it works for other things too." Wendi asked as she leaned over the side. "Like… what if I wanted some hot chocolate?"
Dieci pulled a thermos out of the bag and handed it to her sister.
"It's got little marshmallows in it and everything!" Wendi cheered as she looked inside.
"I wonder if it has an Anywhere Door or a What-if-box?" Genya grinned, but his expression slowly faded when he saw his daughters' blank stares. "… Youngsters these days have no appreciation for the classics…" He muttered.
"… Well, now that we know how this works, it's time to get going!" Subaru announced. "Set up!"
Wendi and Nove did the same, donning their barrier jackets and devices. No sooner had they done that when Subaru clutched her waist and the other two began rubbing their legs together.
"C-C-C-Come to think of it…" Wendi shivered. "O-O-Our barrier jackets leave a lot exposed…"
"D-D-D-Definitely not winter appropriate." Nove said behind chattering teeth.
"You'll need something warmer." Cinque nodded, smiling slightly as she looked back at Santa's sack.
X-X-X
"If I didn't know any better, I'd swear Commander Yagami was here…" Subaru muttered as she ran her hand across the felt antlers that decorated her hat.
"Well, at least it's warm." Wendi shrugged in her brown jacket.
"It sets the mood, doesn't it?" Cinque noted as she adjusted her green outfit.
"If we're all done playing dress up now, let's get moving." Genya sighed. "We're going to have to work hard to make up for lost time."
"Yes sir!" His daughters saluted. The younger girls took their positions, with Subaru and Nove flanking Wendi, who activated her board.
"Wing Road!" Subaru called as the glowing paths shot from her and Nove's feet into the sky. They pulled the sleigh with their combined strength along the path to the air.
"Where is our first stop, father?" Cinque asked. Genya looked at the terminal and read off the name.
"That's it over there." Genya pointed to one of the houses. "Take us down there, girls." They did so and the sleigh slid to a stop on top of the roof.
"That wasn't too hard." Subaru said.
"Yeah, we might be able to do this after all." Nove agreed.
"Here's the present." Dieci handed the box to Subaru.
"Ok, so I guess we have to take this down the chimney…" Subaru glanced over at the stack of bricks. "Uh… Go for it, Wendi!"
"What? There's no way I can fit down there!" Wendi objected. "Nove should do it!"
"Like I could fit down there either!" Nove huffed, folding her arms across her chest. "I might get stuck…"
"Yeah, Wendi your chest is the smallest, so it has to be you!" Subaru said.
"What? Mine are no smaller than yours!" Wendi shot back.
"If Santa can do it," Dieci interjected. "Then so can you."
"… How does Santa do it?" They all wondered.
X-X-X
"Uh oh."
"What is it, Santa?" Ginga asked.
"… I forgot to give them my size altering device!"
X-X-X
"We're screwed!" Wendi moaned.
"The only one of us who could possibly do it is…" They all turned and looked at their second oldest sister.
"… Ooooooh no!" Cinque waved her arms in front of her. "You're not stuffing me down there!"
"But Cinque-nee, we need you!" Nove pleaded.
"Don't you want to save Christmas?" Wendi asked, face assuming the puppy dog formation.
"… I guess I don't have much of a choice…" Cinque finally gave in. "But how am I supposed to get out?" Dieci silently took a rope out of Santa's bag. "… Ok, tie me up…"
Rope secured around her waist and present in her arms, Cinque began her descent down the chimney.
"Don't worry, Cinque-nee! We've got you!" Nove, firmly gripping the other end of the rope, assured her.
"… It's a good thing I'm not claustrophobic…" As she was engulfed by the darkness, Cinque gulped. "At least I hope I'm not…"
"Are you ok?" Subaru called down after some time passed.
"I'm fi…" Cinque was cut off by a cough. "When was the last time these people cleaned this thing?" After some more time, the short cyborg finally felt her feet touch ground again. Pushing open the fireplace door, she entered into the unknown family's living room which had been decorated in a festive manner. Dusting some soot off her package, Cinque placed the item under the tree.
"That does it, I guess." She sighed. She made to leave, but she then spotted the plate of treats that had been set out. "Guess this isn't so bad." Cinque mused as she took a bite out of a cookie. "I could get used to this. Good thing there wasn't some kind of…"
That's when she noticed the Doberman that stared at her from across the room.
"… Vicious dog." The combat cyborg held eyes with the beast, both ready to strike when the moment presented itself. Cinque considered using the cookie to distract the animal while she ran to the chimney, but cursed her luck when she realised the baked good was chocolate chip. A low rumble escaped the dog's throat as Cinque slowly moved backwards towards the fireplace.
"Take it easy, boy." She whispered. "I'm leaving right now, so there's no need to worry…"
If the Doberman understood her, it clearly didn't believe her words for it charged. Cinque scrambled away as fast as she could, tugging on the rope as she ducked into the hearth. She could feel the dog's breath on her heals as she was pulled up by her sisters.
"That was a close one…" She breathed when she was back on the roof.
"Are you ok, Cinque-nee?" Nove asked.
"I'm fine, but this job is for the dogs." Cinque smiled sardonically. After shaking off the soot that covered her, the small Number hopped back into the sleigh and they took off to the next house.
This process repeated itself for several houses, but to Cinque's relief, not everyone kept pets.
However, they soon ran into another problem.
"Um… This house doesn't have a chimney…" Wendi noted.
"This is a problem…" Cinque muttered. "How do we deliver the present to this one?"
"It's not like we can pass through walls…" Subaru and her sisters looked like they had found the solution to world hunger.
"Why didn't we think of this before?"
X-X-X
Sein was roused as she heard rapping on her bedroom window. When she glanced over she was surprised to see her sisters, dressed as reindeer, peering inside.
"… That's the last time I have any of Sister Schach's special eggnog before bed…" She muttered as she pulled her covers over her head. When the knocking continued, Sein decided it was too annoying to be a hallucination so she went over to her window and opened it.
"What are you…? Woah!" Before Sein knew it, she had been grabbed and tossed into the back of the sleigh, which then took off.
X-X-X
"… So let me get this straight." Sein said. "You beat up Santa Claus, and now you have to make deliveries for him?"
"That's right." Cinque nodded.
"And you need me to get into houses that have no chimneys?"
"That's also correct."
"… Got yourselves into quite the pickle this time." Sein laughed. "But it sounds interesting. Plus, I wouldn't be much of a sister if I refused to help you guys."
"We appreciate it." Cinque smiled.
They returned to the chimneyless house from earlier, and Sein, now dressed in a warm green jacket, hopped out and did some stretches.
"Ok, time to go snoop around in some stranger's house!" She cheered as Dieci handed her a present. "IS: Deep Diver!" Sein stuck her finger down into the roof to check things out, but quickly pulled it out as her face flushed.
"Ehehe… The master bedroom is right below here…" She chuckled awkwardly. "Let's just say some one is getting some intense love this Christmas…"
Genya and Cinque coughed, Wendi grinned, and Subaru, Nove, and Dieci blinked innocently.
"Let's try over here then…" Sein moved down the roof and stuck her finger in again. Seeing the coast was clear, she jumped inside the house and it wasn't long before she swam back out. "That wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it'd be." She mused, wiping the crumbs from her mouth.
"It has been surprisingly uneventful, hasn't it?" Wendi nodded.
"I say that's a good thing." Genya said. "Let's move on to the next house."
And so they did. The established system ran quite smoothly, with the only issue raised being Sein's inability to consume any more cookies.
"Maybe all that milk will help your chest grow!" Wendi quipped, earning her a bonk on the head.
"Hey, it's Nanoha-san's house!" Subaru called when they approached the home and landed on its roof.
"So that means the next gift is for Vivio." Wendi concluded.
"It is." Dieci confirmed, handing the gift to Sein.
"Well then, here comes a special delivery for her majesty!" Sein declared as she sank into the roof, only to pop up again moments later. "It seems we have a restless child on our hands." She smirked.
X-X-X
Vivio poked her head over the back of the couch, keeping a keep eye on the fireplace next to the Christmas tree.
'Why do Nanoha-mama and Fate-mama keep insisting Santa is real?' She pondered. 'Even Yuuno-papa keeps saying so! They can't honestly think that I'm not smart enough to know he couldn't exist!' She wasn't able to stay awake the pervious years to catch her parents in the act, but this time for sure she was going to witness it!
Her ears twitched as she heard something coming from the chimney. Much to her surprise, the little girl witnessed a figure seemingly materialise out of the fireplace. He was a large man wearing a red suit, with white curls hanging from his chin.
Vivio quickly covered her mouth as she gasped, but her position was revealed and the man looked in her direction. He simply smiled at her, shot her a wink, and placed a box under the tree. After munching on some cookies and taking a swig of milk, he waved to her and disappeared back into the wall.
Vivio quickly ran to the fireplace, opened the doors and looked up, only to see nothing there. Unable to contain herself, she ran upstairs, whipped open the door to her parents' room, and dive-bombed the bed.
"SANTA IS REAL!" She squealed.
X-X-X
"Thanks for the assist, sir." Sein said to Genya as he sat back on the sleigh.
"No problem." He grinned. "Children should all have dreams to believe in."
"The sun is going to rise in a few hours." Dieci warned. "So I think we better hurry."
"There's only a few names left to go, so we're almost there!" Genya declared. And thus the Nakajima family plus one flew off into the night.
X-X-X
"Home sweet home." Wendi said as they landed on the roof of their house after they returned Sein to the Saint Church.
"Done already?" Nove blinked. "I could probably handle delivering to another city."
"Yeah, I'm not tired at all." Subaru added.
"That's easy for your girls to say." Genya sighed as he climbed out. "But for this crotchety old man, I'm exhausted." After helping their father off the roof, they all returned to their living room, where an odd sight greeted them.
"You have to do your jobs properly. You can't just ditch and go drinking whenever you want to, got it?" Ginga lectured the nine reindeer familiars that sat prostrated before her.
"… Yes m'am." They groaned in unison.
"Oh, you're back." Santa greeted. "I hope you don't mind, but I sent your daughter to round up these lazy bums."
"No, that's fine." Genya replied. "We managed to do all the deliveries with little problem."
"That's wonderful news. Thank you for taking care of that for me." Santa said as he got to his feet.
"Are you ok now, Santa?" Nove asked. "Should you be standing up already?"
"Don't worry about it, Nove." He laughed. "I'm tougher than I look. If I had a nickel for every time I was injured and some one had to cover for me, I'd be a very rich man."
"But… After what we did to you…" Nove looked down. "I bet we got put on the naughty list…"
"Don't be silly, Nove." Santa patted the girl's head. "You were just trying to protect your family. You might have done some bad things in your life before, but I know you've turned yourself around and are trying your best to be a good girl. The same goes for the rest of your sisters. So take a look under your tree, and you'll see your gifts are already there."
"Thank you, Santa!" Nove brightened at the news.
"Awww, Nove is such a softie." Wendi chuckled.
"S-Shut up! I am not!" Nove huffed, causing her family to laugh.
"Well then, I must be returning." Santa announced. "Let's go boys. I'm sure Mrs. Claus has plenty to say to you when she hears about your conduct tonight." With that, the man and his nine grumbling familiars filed out of the house. After a pause, the girls followed after him, running out onto their lawn in time to see Santa take off.
"Tea's not going to believe this when I tell her!" Subaru whispered as she watched the sleigh fly away.
And they heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"