A/N: I just kinda had an idea and was bored so I posted it. The ages are messed up in this, but I always pictured Minerva as younger than they portray her. I just think that Minerva maybe deserves to have some fun once. Set in Harry's fifth year. If you like it let me know, if you don't tell me anyway. – Sloane
Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. Which is probably everything or close to it.
It was after supper at Gimauld place and every one was sitting back in their chairs sleepy and full from all the wonderful food that Molly Weasley had once again prepared. It was unusual how many Order members were there, but then again, it had been the last meeting before Harry was to be fetched from Privet Drive. So for what ever reason, Albus Dumbledore, Minerva McGonnagall, Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks, Sirius Black, Hermione Granger, Molly, Arthur, Fred, George, Ginny, and Ron Weasley were all sitting around the table chatting contentedly. For some reason or another, the conversation turned to Hogwarts rules and with it came the obligatory debate of who broke the most of them.
"NO WAY!" Sirius was indignant. "The Marauders had much better pranks than you two very even imagined!"
"Not even!" Said Fred and George, simultaneously.
"No," Said Remus, "Its true. Some of your pranks, I'm sorry to say, just lack imagination."
"Ours are sooo much cooler!"
"Are not!"
"Are too!"
"The Marauders were THE best trouble makers Hogwarts has ever seen! We are legendary!"
"Pfft. The names Fred and George Weasley shall live on in the hearts of future pranksters for years to come!"
"WE ARE THE BE—"
"I'm sorry," interrupted a new voice. "But you are both wrong."
All eyes swiveled to the head of the table where Dumbledore sat.
"Neither of you come even close to the troublemaking genius that was the duo know as the Gryffindor Girls."
The others looked questioningly but before they could ask, their attention was drawn to Minerva who had started to choke on her tea and was turning red.
Dumbledore calmly unblocked her airway, and proceeded to watch her. The others followed his lead. Minerva was beginning to get uncomfortable and it showed. She did not welcome this turn of events; she was Professor McGonnagall, stern and always in control. As If determined to keep it this way, she raised an eyebrow challengingly at Dumbledore.
Albus nodded sagely. "Yes, the Gryffindor Girls, quite a pair as I recall. You remember of course, Minerva."
"You taught the Gryffindor Girls? But I thought that the year we started was only your third year teaching?" Asked Remus. "We would've gone to school with them then, it's not possible."
"Shall I tell them my dear, or will you?"
Minerva gave her famous death glare and everyone except Dumbledore shuddered slightly from its power.
"Albus," she said warningly.
He nodded. "Very well then." His voice rose so that it drowned out Minerva's furious protests.
"You all have met at least one half of the infamous duo; our own Minerva McGonnagall was the strategist behind all of their greatest schemes."
All along the table jaws dropped in unison. Minerva would have laughed if she hadn't been so busy glaring fiercely at Albus.
Finally Ron broke the silence. "No bloody way."
Minerva took a deep breath through her sharp nose. "Quite."
Albus chuckled.
"But," Sirius started, "What made you so great? Why were you two so much better than us?"
Minerva rolled her eyes. "Because we actually planned our pranks Sirius."
"We plan! Why aren't we the best?"
"Because," Now Dumbledore addressed the twins, "no one ever did what they did, and no one has since."
Ginny was curious. "What did they do?"
Dumbledore's eyes twinkled more then ever. "They, in seven short years, managed to break every single rule that Hogwarts possesses."
All the heads turned to Minerva with break-neck speed.
"NO WAY!"
"That is so cool!"
"You are my idol!"
"Bloody Hell!"
"Every rule?" Sirius was skeptical. "I doubt it."
Minerva's eyebrows rose. "You may doubt it Sirius, but the fact remains; we're just better than you."
Sirius left the room and returned moments later with Hermione's copy of Hogwarts, a History. "We'll soon see about that. You couldn't have broken every rule."
Every one crowded around the book.
"Did you really vandalize one of the statues?"
"All of them. The big stone warlock of the seventh floor still cringes when he sees me."
"You broke into the other common rooms?"
"Yes. It really wasn't all that hard."
"You're an unregistered animagus?"
"I was, when I left Hogwarts I got registered. I believe that we were the youngest ever to achieve full transformations. Honestly, Mr. Weasley, you learned about animagi in third year."
Sirius smirked. "We achieved it in fifth year. Bet you didn't do it before that."
"I perfected it in my third year. Rolanda did it at the end of our fourth with my help."
"Rolanda?" asked Hermione. "As in Rolanda Hooch?"
Minerva smiled. "The very same. Her animagus is, of course, a hawk."
"So two of our teachers are pretty much criminal masterminds?" asked Ron.
Dumbledore chuckled and nodded. "While I wouldn't say criminal, you'll be glad to know they've toned it down a bit."
The questioning recommenced.
"You skinny dipped in the lake??"
Minerva blushed lightly. "Yes, and I don't recommend it. The water is freezing and the merpeople aren't all that polite."
"There is no way you've harbored a fugitive on school grounds."
"Its been done." She shrugged.
"Who?"
"I had a pet griffin once. I found him when he was just a baby. Well, some kids in the town where my family lived decided that they didn't like the little freak girl down the lane. Tyrone, that was his name, protected me and ended up biting one of the older boys. The ministry came for him and I told them there was no way in hell that they were taking him away. Then it was time for me to go to school, and took him with me. He still lives in the forest."
Tonks' eyes were the size of saucers after this pronouncement. "That is so awesome."
"Hey, here's one! You convinced the house elves to rebel and take the school for themselves?"
"Yes. It didn't turn out quite the way we planned," She nodded to Hermione. "That's probably why they're so reluctant to listen to you. They still won't let Ro anywhere near the kitchens."
"You held dueling contests?"
"Not just contests; dueling tournaments. No one ever seemed to question why we always won…"
"Dear Merlin! You had a student/teacher relationship?!"
Minerva blushed again. "Not really; it was a dare, I could never turn down a dare." Seeing Molly's scandalized look she added: "It was only a kiss."
"Who was it?"
"Ahem."
They all turned to look at Dumbledore.
Arthur grinned. "No bloody way." Molly hit him on the arm. They gaped for a few more minutes before Dumbledore reminded them of the rest of the rules.
"You had crazy drunken parties in the common room?"
"Yes."
"Then why do you stop ours?"
Molly looked at her sons sharply and Tonks laughed.
"I mean, why do you stop our perfectly innocent get-togethers?"
Minerva rolled her eyes.
"You painted the castle another colour?"
"Actually, they put that rule in because of us." She grinned.
"You set the giant squid loose on the Slytherin quidditch team?"
"Another Gryffindor Girl original."
"I found one. There is absolutely NO WAY you killed a teacher."
Minerva looked guiltily at the table. "Yes, well that one was an accident."
FLASH BACK
Minerva McGonnagall and her best friend Rolanda Hooch sat at the Gryffindor table and discussed their newest plan.
"Its gonna be great, Min!"
"Ro, honestly, however much you may detest your given name, I rather like mine and wish to be addressed as Minerva." She rolled her eyes exasperatedly. "And yes, it will be good."
"So you're gonna do it then?"
"Yep, its my turn, isn't it? And besides, I want to give the other kids a laugh. They deserve not to be on the verge of death by boredom for once.
Rolanda chuckled. "Well, it certainly will be interesting."
"Definitely. And don't you forget the ketchup this time."
It was third period when the two friends met up again.
"Did you remember the ketchup?"
"Of course."
"Good. Lets go in then, we don't want to draw attention to ourselves before we have to."
In they walked, heads held high, and well practiced innocent expressions on their faces.
They had decided previously that the prank should take place ten minutes in. That way they could be sure that Professor Binns would be in full-drone mode and all of their classmates would be teetering on the brink of unconsciousness. Sure enough, ten minutes in, a horrible piercing scream filled the air.
"AHHHH! MY HAND!!" Everywhere students were jerking awake trying to find the source of the commotion. Minerva ran to the front of the class. Everyone knew Binns was scared silly at the sight of blood.
"Professor!" she mimed sobbing. "Help! My hand!"
Professor Binns took one look at the ketchup-covered hand and fainted dead away. Immediately Minerva dropped the charade.
"Somebody get some help, he's fainted!"
Rolanda ran to get the school nurse.
At dinner that night, Professor Dippit addressed the school.
"Today, our dear Professor Binns departed from this life. Please join me in a moment of silence." He bowed his head and Rolanda and Minerva exchanged worried looks before following suit.
Before he sat down, Dippit addressed the students once more. "Now before you all are off, I'd like to see Ms. McGonnagall after dinner. Off to bed the rest of you!"
Minerva was worried. "Ro, what'll I do?" she whispered. "How did they know?"
Rolanda's eyes were wide and somehow even more yellow as she answered. " I don't know, Min. I just don't know."
Minerva was too worried to even rebuke the shortening of her name.
She slowly made her way to the headmaster's office, aware that all the eyes in the Great Hall were fixed on her.
The headmaster's office was a cozy enough room, but the atmosphere into which Minerva entered was anything but welcoming. Present and wearing deep frowns were Professor Dipit, Professor Dumbledore and (Minerva's mouth dropped open) Professor Binns himself, in pearly white form.
Minerva gasped. "P-professor B-Binns?"
"Indeed." His voice was still reedy and monotone; it definitely was him.
"I understand you have something to tell us Ms. McGonnagall?" Dumbledore's eyes were still twinkling even though he frowned.
END FLASHBACK
More silence followed the story.
This time it was Hermione who broke it. "And you weren't expelled? You didn't get in trouble at all?"
"Albus pulled a few strings. I was kicked off the Quidditch team for a year and forfeited my captaincy to Rolanda. It was decided that since Professor Binns had a heart attack I was that much at fault for it. His heart had always been weak and he was 168. My prank was just the trigger. Binns decided not to press charges; ironically, he finds them extremely boring."
More silence.
"You were the quidditch captain too?"
"You are so my idol!"
"Hmmph."
"Common' mate, just admit it. They were the best."
Sirius was sulking. Minerva ginned triumphantly.
She looked at her students. "And not a word about this to anyone at Hogwarts. If I hear even one rumor, you may just find yourself on the receiving end of another Gryffindor Girls prank." She gave another positively scary glare.
Everyone present gulped.