The characters from this story belong to BioWare.
It was late. The Normandy felt empty and quiet, the lights were weak. She stood in front of the door making her skin crawl, unable to move a muscle. She closed her eyes and found comfort in the tireless humming coming from the other side of the door. She allowed herself to give a step forward and the door got opened. The place was warm and familiar, the memories overwhelmed her. It was almost the same, but this time it was empty. She held her breath as she walked towards the desk, where they had passed most of their time.
It was hard to believe he was gone. Her mind just couldn't process it. Couldn't let him go.
"I'm so sorry, Thane…" She whispered to herself, feeling weakness in her own voice.
Guilt. Was it the reason why she couldn't move on? Or was it something else?
She leaned towards the desk, finding support on her arms. It was exactly in that place where all the memories were created. She could almost feel the warm touch of his skin again, hear his soft and kind words. She was able get lost in his dark eyes one last time, and her heart felt heavy.
She would've given everything to be able to talk to him one last time. To finally take that terrible anguish off her chest, to ask him if it was ok to move on. Beg his forgiveness.
She heard the doors getting open and she recognized a familiar scent.
Her human partner remained silent for a while and she felt comfortable ignoring his presence.
"Shepard…"
She could sense the worry in his voice. She knew he was aware of her feelings, but she lied anyway.
"Yeah, just a bad dream. I'm fine"
She could feel her partner's gaze staring at her, but she didn't turn to him.
"Take your time" He finally said getting out of the room, and she felt even worse.
She was taking her time… But how much was it going to be? Would she ever be able to let go?
Her body moved away from the desk as she realized it. Memories, silence. It was all she could get from the past, and it was not enough to fill up the emptiness inside of her. Her body gathered the strength to finally get out of the place. The answer was clear, even if her feelings didn't agree with it.
"Goodbye, Thane. Rest in peace"
She said she would meet him across the sea. But she wouldn't be able to fulfill that promise.