Maureen straddled her boyfriend, Mark, nipping at his neck as she unbuttoned his shirt. "Tonight's all about what you," she whispered, her hands fumbling with the last button. She pushed the shirt off of his shoulders, her lips moving up to his jaw line. "Tell me what you want," she added, letting her dainty hands move down his chest and to the top of his pants.

As bad as Mark wanted it, wanted her, he couldn't. "Sleep," he squeaked. "I need sleep, Maureen. As nice as this seems, I really need to go to bed. Today was such a ha-"

"Sleep," Maureen repeated, pulling away and staring him in the eyes. "I'm on top of you, naked, and you want to go sleep?" she asked. She was NEVER rejected when it came to sex. Jobs, yes. But, sex? No, that NEVER happened, especially by Mark Cohen.

Mark's eyes met hers, seeing the hurt in her eyes and nodded. "Maureen, it's not that I don't want too…" he trailed off, right when she got off of his lap and started to put on her clothes. "C'mon, Maureen. Hear me out."

"You're tired. Go to sleep. I'll see you in the morning." And she slammed the bedroom door shut. To Maureen, sex was… everything. You don't take anything away from Maureen that means the world to her, or else you'll get a very weird, unhappy Maureen.

"Ugh, you guys are sickening," Collins mumbled as he walked passed April and Roger making out on the stairs and into the loft. And when he walked inside, he saw something he'd never thought he'd see. "Mau… are you… are you cleaning?"

Maureen looked up from the floor, her eyes bloodshot and her face dirty. "Mhm! It's fun!" She looked back down at the floor, and continued scrubbing. "Do you know where we keep the Windex? You can't see out of those windows if your life freaking depended on it!" she squealed and sat up, wiping the sweat off of her forehead with her arm.

Collins just continued to stare at her, his jaw to the floor. He bent his back a little and turned his head. "Hey guys, I think Maureen has lost it…" he called out of the loft, needing some else to confirm what he was witnessing.

"Lost it?! Hah! No way! I'm just really in the mood to clean." Maureen stood up and ran over to the kitchen, getting more paper towels. "Where the fuck is the Windex?!"

Roger walked inside, April following, both of their jaws falling to the floor. "She's cleaning?" they said in harmony. "Did hell freeze over or something?" Roger whispered, seeing April starting for the kitchen, but he stopped her. "No, going near a Maureen who is cleaning is like going near a lion during mating season. Not a good idea." He was right. It was a once in a blue moon thing to see Maureen clean, so you never knew what was going to happen.

April giggled. "Oh, c'mon, the girl is just cleaning."

Roger and Collins exchanged looks. April didn't know Maureen for long. It's only been about two weeks since she has met her. So, she has no idea what she was about to get herself into by talking to her. "Okay, fine, go talk to her," Roger said, smirking.

April started for the kitchen, but she heard Maureen growl; yes, growl, and turned around. "What the fuck is wrong with her?" she asked, tip toeing back over to the boys. "She fucking growled at me."

Roger laughed as his mind made his own little picture of Maureen growling. She had teeth of a vampire and the face of an evil lion/dog, with a mane. It's the mind of Roger Davis, what else do you expect? "The last time I saw her like this was because someone got the lead in the school musical, and she got some stupid part," he recalled. "Maybe someone is pissing her off? I don't know. It doesn't take much to piss her off. So, maybe it's something really hardcore."

Maureen walked out into the living room and everyone took a step back. Collins decided to bring up something he knows that will cheer her up. "So, where's Mark?" And she growled, again. "Probably getting balls, I hope," she murmured. Well, so much for cheering her up. "And maybe a Sex with Maureen for Dummies book! Ya'know, because the damn pansy WON'T FUCK ME! It's been a whole month, and he hasn't touched me. Yeah, he cuddled, BUT WHO LIKES CUDDLING!? I WANT INTERCOURSE! " She turned to Roger and put her hand on her hips. "You would fuck me, right? Like, if I was about to BLOW YOU, you'd let me, right?! If I was naked, on top of you, you'd let me do whatever you want and not want to go to sleep, right?!"

Its official, Maureen has lost it. Completely.

Right when Roger was about to answer, Mark walked in. Everyone turned around and then looked at Maureen. Whatever was about to happen, was not going to be pretty.

"…it smells like Clorox. Who has been cleaning?" Mark asked, taking off his scarf and camera bag. He looked over, to see a dirty, pissed and shaky Maureen. "Maureen… you've been cleaning?"

Maureen nodded. "Yep!" she said and moved over to the windows and began spraying them with whatever she could find, since she still could not find the damn Windex. "Mark, I have a question…"

"Mark… agree with everything she says. She's about to get all psycho on you because apparently you won't fuck her," Collins warned and moved over to the kitchen, to get some, of course, Stoli.

Mark looked at Collins and sighed. "Maureen, look before you say anything…" he paused, looking around the room. Okay, this was not something he wanted to say in front of everyone. "Can we go into the bedroom and talk?" he asked, his eyes softening up.

"Oh, NOW you want to go into the bedroom? No, tell me what you have to tell me, now," Maureen demanded, jumping off of the window sill and looking at Mark, her foot tapping impatiently. "I'm waiting."

Mark sighed. Oh, come on, Maureen. I don't want to say it front of Roger… "Maureen, this isn't the plac-"

"SAY IT, COHEN!" Maureen screamed.

"I HAVE AN ERECTION PROBLEM!" Mark screamed back.

…Silence…

Maureen dropped the Clorox, rag and her jaw. "You're telling me, I didn't get laid in four weeks because you have an erection problem." She took a few steps towards him. "I didn't have one satisfying night of sleep because I didn't get my daily orgasm. I'm CLEANING this damn loft, to force all my energy out, because YOU have an erection problem." She stopped talking, and just continued walking. And when she was face to face with him, she slapped him, hard. "You deprived me of sex, when you KNOW there are things out there to cure Boner Troubles! I can't believe you did that."

Mark put his hand up to his face. "I'm sorry, I was embarrassed. I didn't want you to think that you caused this…"

"Oh, Mark. I'm hot. I know I'm not the problem. You're blood just doesn't want to rush to Prince Albert, " Maureen said, hearing the other three laugh. "Shut up, I was drunk and the name stuck," she looked back at Mark. "Tomorrow, we're going to the doctor."

"Maur-"

Maureen put her hand over Mark's mouth, shaking her head. "Oh, no. Don't fight with me. You're getting this fixed and then we're having sex, A LOT."

A/N: Yeah, this is bad writing, but blame my aunt. She called when I was writing. But, I thought it was funny. Haha. So, yeah, no mean reviews, thanks! :