Ladies and gentlemen, behold: AnonBrowser has posted the introduction to his first multi-chapter story (and sixth submission to FanFiction overall)! This fic is inspired by PurpleBandit3000's "Total Drama Redemption" where Noah goes back in time to compete on Total Drama Island (season 1) again. It is a fantastic piece that I highly recommend along with another great tribute by CosmicWarrior titled "Total Drama: Cody's Redemption", which has a similar concept but with Cody travelling through time instead of Noah. My story, however, has Courtney going back to Total Drama All-Stars (season 5) where she vows not to make the same mistakes as before. It is strongly recommended that you watch Total Drama Pahkitew Island (season 6) and all the Total Drama seasons preceding it before you read as it contains spoilers for each season. Hope you enjoy!

It's been a while since I had anybody to talk to other than family members. My stupid chart in Total Drama All-Stars, the fifth season of Total Drama, is to blame for that. I was doing very well that season until the final five where I largely dug my own grave by making the damn chart and Mike—or maybe it was his evil "Mal" alternate personality that unfortunately had taken over his body—found it and showed everybody else. They all turned against me as a result. I can't blame them. It was a huge mistake I made that I've highly regretted ever since.

You are not imagining things. I, Courtney Gomez, do admit that I did something wrong. Since then, I've truly begun to own up to my faults. I'm ashamed of what I did that day. It also taught me an overdue lesson on prioritizing winning over friendships or relationships when I lost my friend Gwen AND my boyfriend Scott. I wasn't that close to Zoey anyway before my chart got exposed and had been planning to take her out ASAP when I felt she was the biggest threat to my victory, so she wasn't a painful loss in comparison, but Mike/Mal exposing my plans obviously prevented her from going home. He would've been out right afterwards if things went the way I wanted, with Gwen in third place and Scott going to the finals with me. While Mike or his evil persona (still not sure who was in control then) basically set me up for elimination then, I do blame myself for making it in the first place and then stupidly leaving it in the confessional outhouse. Excitement over winning got in the way of my judgement when I exited. He must have found it there afterwards.

Ever since I got voted off then, I've taken the time to re-watch all the seasons of Total Drama I competed on. It gave me the chance to truly see when I was in the wrong during each season and how much of a bitch I could often be, especially during season 2 where I was the villain. I toned my evil streak down after that and have since come to regret many of my actions. As much as I wish I wasn't so mean, it's too late to fix that. I also watched seasons 4 and 6, the former because it gave me the chance to see more of Scott, and I did admittedly see some of my past self within him then. Yes, I do still miss him and my friendship with Gwen.

Six months have passed now since the season 5 finale (roughly four since it aired), and the sixth season Pahkitew Island also aired its last episode less than a month ago. That finale was quite painful to watch; not only was Sky an unfaithful girlfriend (poor Keith who must've been dismayed watching her cheat on him), but she used Dave's affections to her advantage by kissing him into helping her win. Those two clearly liked each other no matter how much she initially refused to admit it, and the girl really should've just told him sooner that she had a boyfriend back home even if she was already planning to call things off with Keith, though he did overreact to getting rejected and learning about the boyfriend.

While Dave interrupting her "but" was quite a bad choice, she still had plenty of opportunities to tell him about her relationship status, yet willingly was unfaithful by getting flirty with him more than once when he was still competing (they almost kissed at certain points before getting interrupted) and then kissing for real in the finals prior to the Keith revelation. Both guys deserve better than that cunt. I had already been rooting for Shawn, and this only made me hope even more that he'd defeat Sky. He and Jasmine make a good couple, and it was nice she got to work with him in the finals. I won't spoil who won Pahkitew Island if you didn't already watch it all, but that had quite an eventful finale. In a way, I envy Shawn and Jasmine as they were able to reconcile after bumps in their road while Scott probably couldn't be paid to say much to me these days.

Watching this finale hurt me in a couple of different ways. Number one, infidelity remains a major sore spot after that piece of shit Duncan cheated on me by kissing Gwen in season 3. I know now that this was much more his fault than hers (both by re-watching the episode and talking with her) and made up with Gwen afterwards only to fuck it up big time later in season 5, but he can never be forgiven for that and I hold anyone who commits infidelity in contempt. I should've directed my anger then more at him than her when he initiated that kiss without remorse and she felt super guilty afterwards. Number two, I felt especially guilty about planning to exploit Scott's affections by having him let me win. It would've been worse if we got to the finals and I followed through on such plans. I vow to never use or try to use a guy like that in the future.

Most or all the people I competed with on Total Drama hate me for what I did in All-Stars if they didn't already. I fully understand why. A selfish desire for victory got in the way of everything else. If I ever go back to compete again, I promise I won't repeat that mistake. Money doesn't buy friendships or relationships. No way would I ever get back with Duncan the jackass even if we were the last two people on Earth, but I can't put all the blame on him for our strains. My pride no longer prevents me from admitting that.

Looking back, while our relationship did have some happy times, things with Duncan were doomed from the start and I regret ever getting together in the first place as the bad unquestionably outweighs the good. We had too many personal differences to really be compatible despite somehow becoming attracted to each other in season 1. I don't even remember what it was that we liked about one another. Both of us at certain points chose the prize money over each other. I once wrote a ridiculously long list of ways he needed to change for us to work out back in season 2. Aside from his future infidelity, that was probably the biggest indicator we weren't meant to be, but I naïvely thought he could change.

He obviously didn't and voted me off in the final 4. I have of course realized why he did that; it was unreasonably demanding of me, and I knew to tone myself down afterwards. When I dumped him as a result, that should've been the permanent end of us. Getting back together afterwards was a big mistake and it wouldn't have worked out even if he had stayed faithful. In the future, it's better to just break things off with someone when I can't change myself enough as well to be compatible.

After dumping Duncan in the third season, I fell for Alejandro Burromuerto, which led to disaster. It above all else would've been a rebound quickly following heartbreak if we got together anyway. What did he do? Toy with my heart and manipulate me to get himself further in the game. That bastard only faked interest in me and exploited my affections for him like he did with Leshawna and Bridgette when they became attracted to him earlier that season. Like them, I didn't realize I was being played with until it was too late, but it somehow took me much longer to see his true nature.

As hypocritical as it is sounds for me to criticize someone for toying with affections after I played with Justin's heart in season 2 and manipulated him into falling for me so he would let me win a challenge, what I did was a one-time-only thing unlike Burromuerto's actions. I also quickly realized how wrong that was of me afterwards and apologized to Justin later even though I had no interest in dating him and he had probably moved on by that point. It therefore is admittedly quite ironic that I didn't see sooner what Al was doing to me. Sometime during season 4 (which nobody from the first three seasons competed in), Leshawna showed me clips of Alejandro's plans to exploit my attraction to him when I for some reason stupidly tried to defend the schmuck. I'm grateful she did that and lost all interest in the guy right then and there. Before then, I was extremely jealous of Heather for winning his heart during season 3 as we had competed for him to an extent before I got eliminated. They started dating after the season ended and are still together to this day. The apartment I live in these days is unfortunately close by theirs and the walls are quite thin. You do NOT want to hear their arguments at night or intimate moments, trust me.

Unlike Alejandro and Duncan, Scott was someone who never truly did anything bad to me and is someone I overall felt I could get along better with, even though things between us ended much sooner than my relationship with Duncan. Scott and I both were once major jerks who softened without entirely losing our mean sides after serving as a season's villain (yes I know how he was season 4's antagonist and how he changed afterwards), were once willing to throw or try to throw challenges multiple times if it meant a chance to vote someone off (though I regret trying to oust Gwen like that in season 3), had tactical minds that allowed us to get far in the game (wasn't just luck), and could easily manipulate others (though went overboard with that). He also didn't mind taking orders if needed. I didn't think much of Scott when we first met and was initially irked when he started flirting with me, but over time began to like the guy back.

Another big plus for Scott is that he was faithful to me for the entire time we dated. Yes, he often said awkward things around me and got flustered from time to time (he even mistakenly asked me "will you be my boyfriend?" before nervously correcting himself which was kind of funny), but it was adorable in a certain way. I could tell he was at least trying to be a good boyfriend. Maybe his lack of experience with girls played a part in it. I do I know was after all his first girlfriend. Regardless, I'd much rather take an awkward inexperienced guy who's loyal and wants me for who I am over some experienced cheater any day. Perhaps I could've taught him about relationships and such if he hadn't dumped me for that chart fiasco. Oh well. Hopefully our brief thing together doesn't scar him to the point where he's turned off to dating. Either way, I'm ashamed of how it ended between us.

I know from re-watching All Stars that at least part of him missed me after I got voted off, which was comforting when I miss him too, but he still can't bring himself to trust or forgive me these days. On the rare occasions we did speak at all after the season ended (I did get his number before leaving), he would say I insulted him and never forgot to mention how upset he was over me drawing him with a rat tail. It of course was understandable and made me feel like shit. This just adds to my guilt.

Gwen said she wouldn't vote for me if I voted for myself then. We haven't spoken since that day because I don't have any way of contacting her outside of the show (probably should've exchanged numbers), but I followed through on her request because I badly wanted to prove I really was sorry and got eliminated in a 3-2 vote. It did however provide some consolation that the vote wasn't unanimous against me. The goth must've also kept her word and got Zoey to vote for Scott as she told me she would. Either way, I couldn't bring myself to vote for him even if it would've kept me in the game. Never thought I would say this to anybody, but to be honest, I fully know I deserved to get the boot then after what I did.

However, if any of the cast members from that season are despised more than me nowadays other than Ezekiel the feral freak (who nobody on the show ever liked at all to begin with for being sexist and obnoxious before losing any sanity he may have had), it would be Duncan. More of his softer side had shown during All-Stars to his dismay as he wanted to downplay that as much as possible, cherishing his "bad boy" reputation. It sometimes was quite funny seeing him try to act tougher than he really was. Desperate to end all of that, Mr. Delinquent got himself disqualified for stupidly blowing up our host Chris McLean's mansion (no it was NOT a "cottage" as the host asserted) with a stick of dynamite. What an idiot. Not only did he get kicked off the show that day, but also arrested for property destruction. It just made me think even less of that bozo than I already did (which is saying quite a lot).

Going to jail served him right as that was going too far even though McLean is a dirtbag who didn't deserve to own such property in the first place. After that incident, not even Duncan's buddies Owen or DJ wanted anything to do with him (Geoff already had some sort of falling out with Duncan in between the first two seasons). Duncan still hasn't been released from jail and I'm sure he won't leave it anytime soon. I hope he rots in there for life. Chris probably won't ever let him compete again either way. There's no way the delinquent could hope to redeem himself for this.

Speaking of redemption, I could really use a chance to redeem myself. An opportunity to show I've changed myself for the better would be quite nice. Unfortunately, that doesn't seem likely to happen anytime soon. I'm not defending my actions here, but the truth is I mainly became antagonistic after Harold McGrady rigged the vote against me in season 1 to spite Duncan and then I was angry for not initially qualifying for season 2. If anything, I should've just resented him and not taken my anger out on most of the other remaining contestants once I entered Total Drama Action mid-season. Later in the second season's final five, I would get back at Harold by voting him off, though I'm not so focused on vengeance these days and we settled our conflict afterwards. McGrady learned his lesson and so did I.

It's late at night now, and I need some rest. As I go to bed, I see a falling star and wish for a chance to redeem myself, start over with Scott, and make things right with Gwen. She went out of her way in season 5 to make amends with me only to have it go down the gutter when my selfishness got the better of me. I need to do the same for her.

Sleep then took over me.

How do you guys like the story so far? I had to get my tribute to PurpleBandit3000 out today in time for the fifth anniversary of the fic that inspired it (and also coincidentally the third anniversary of its completion). Courtney is in for quite a ride! I'm not sure how often I'll be able to post chapters given my offline schedule, but am sure things will be worth waiting for.

Chapter posted: August 3, 2018