Okay! My first attempt at an AU universe...I think...it's rather hard to track all your stories down when you have nineteen of them, and your earliest was published in May 9th, 2011...whatever. I'm just rambling. On to the story, me!
WARNING: The Heroes of Olympus never happened. Wow, that's another first...

One|Alter Egos and Confusion
Percy

If I could ask for one thing from the Olympian gods, I would tell them to stop making my life a helluva "joyride".

You would think, that after history had completely repeated itself (a.k.a., the Second Titan War was complete), Olympus would actually give me peace and quiet for once. But noooo, they just had to interfere with my life for the billionth bloody time. Yes, I was so pissed that I actually used English language.

The day started out normally enough: Drew from Aphrodite was crying over a broken nail, the Apollo guys were shooting hoops, Demeter's kids were picking strawberries, Ares was dueling in the arena, and Travis and Connor Stoll were being very annoying. Totally normal.

And me? I was sitting with Annabeth by the lake, our arms wrapped around each other. We weren't really doing much, just sitting at the lake shore and staring into the water, watching the naiads practice the highly recommended sport of basket-weaving.

I cleared my throat, not enjoying the muted silence between us. "So...how's life?" Gods, that sounded stupid.

Annabeth bit her lip and yanked a piece of grass out of the dirt. "I...don't you feel like something's about to happen? Like, something really bad that could alter our lives for the rest of eternity?"

"We've been there, done that," I commented, "when Kronos attacked us this summer."

Annabeth slapped me. "No! Not that sort of problem...okay, never mind, maybe. But...I just have this feeling..."

I swallowed. "Don't tell me that your instincts are insisting that Kronos has returned."

The daughter of Athena exasperatedly sighed. "Percy, how many times must I say that it isn't relevant to Kronos so that my remarks penetrate that thick skull of yours?" She knocked me on the head.

I self-consciously rubbed the sore spot and said sheepishly, "I wasn't really paying attention."

"Suuuure," Annabeth said sarcastically, wiggling her eyebrows.

"What?" I demanded, but before I could say, "It's true!" the lake exploded beneath our feet.

Somehow, the whole camp managed not to hear the grade-A nuclear explosion, and kept right on playing basketball and attempting to mend their nails.

"GODS ABOVE, APOLLO!" a girl screamed loudly. She looked like a Hunter, but I'd never seen her before in my life. Maybe Thalia was actually visiting with new recruits...? That was very fanatical. I hadn't seen her in over three months, although she usually swung by with the Hunters once a month or so.

The girl struggled to her feet, spitting out sand. "Pah!" she spat, hacking out some more sand. For some reasons unknown, she passed out cold.

A guy's head popped up in the middle of the lake, and he spewed out a column of water. He had blond hair and gray eyes like Annabeth, although she was looking at him as if he were a ghost. "Ouch," he muttered, although I wasn't sure how I could hear him from that far away.

There was a shout from behind me, and Annabeth screamed as the human projectile known as Thalia tackled her from behind. I pulled Thalia off of Annabeth and said, "Now's a very bad time to come and visit." My statement was proven a second later when another girl materialized next to the passed-out kid. She waved her arms for a bit like she was trying to fly, and then landed on her back with an Oof!

"I see," Thalia weakly said, cautiously noting the passed-out girl, the befuddled kid, and the blond guy who was doggy paddling towards us. He sprang out of the water and, unexpectedly, tackled Thalia with a hug. "Gods, I thought that you were dead—"

"Are you hitting on me?" came a strangled gasp from under the boy. I was now silently laughing. Thalia shoved the boy off of her, her face as bright red as the lava that is spewed out of the climbing wall. "DON'T HIT ON ME!"

Who knew that the demigods of Camp Half-Blood could be so ignorant?

The guy blinked and then blushed, sheepishly saying, "Oh...I thought that you were someone else."

"Yeah, thanks." Thalia muttered something that suspiciously sounded like, Boys.

The boy shifted and looked around, and noticed the two mental girls lying on the sand. Annabeth nudged me and whispered, "Is it just me, or does the Hunter really resemble me?"

"It's not just you," I murmured back. I looked at Thalia, who shook her head. "No new recruits. I have no idea who she is."

Both girls woozily sat up, the previously unconscious one rubbing her eyes. "Oh, Hades, where am I?"

"Um...Camp Half-Blood," I put in.

Meanwhile, the blond dude was staring at the other girl. "I was looking all over for you!" he furiously said.

"Nice to know that you care about me," the girl answered dryly. "Although, I was at the strawberry fields. How could you not see me, Percy?"

That freaked me out. Okay, I thought. Plenty of demigods out there called Percy. It isn't my alter ego. Breath, Percy.

My hopeful theory was shattered when I heard the girl say again, "Honestly, you are such a dunce some times, Jackson. Seriously...you sometimes do not act like a 'proper' son of Athena."

"Hey!" "Percy Jackson" objected.

Thalia's mouth dropped open as she gawked between me and Blond Dude. "Oh...my...freaking...Zeus!"

Annabeth looked just as shell-shocked with me. "Percy," she whispered in my ear, "I do not recall a time when you were intelligent."

Wow, those girls have really got their priorities straight. My alter ego appears out of nowhere, and all they're worried about is whether I was smart or not? I am smart! (Okay, I admit...not really. But in this case, I can't bear to have Athena as my mom. Sorry, wisdom goddess...)

"Great," "Percy" said, turning to us. "Who are you? I've never seen you at camp before."

"And neither have we," Annabeth retorted, an annoyed expression on her face. "Why don't you guys introduce yourselves first?"

"Percy" subconsciously glanced at the Hunter, who shrugged. "Fair enough. I don't care either way."

"Okay, then...I'm Percy Jackson, son of Athena."

Annabeth said, "I knew that the end of the world was coming."

"Hey!" I said, getting annoyed. "You said that this thing didn't have anything to do with Kronos, who tried to end the world!"

"I said maybe," Annabeth sighed.

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Didn't!"

"Did!"

"Didn't!"

"I SO DID SAY THAT!"

"YOU—"

"Whoa." Thalia put herself in between us. "You two lovebirds stop arguing. It's going to harm your relationship, and then, Aphrodite's going to go on a rampage."

"She used to like you and Percy," Annabeth teased. Thalia turned pepperoni-red. "You did not just go there!"

Annabeth, however, was on a roll, now that she had three very confused audience members and a groaning boyfriend to watch her humiliate Thalia. "Remember the time when the Aphrodite cabin challenged the whole camp to come up with name squashes for you? You and Percy were arguing for a week, and the official name actually turned out to be Perlia!"

"Percabeth to you, too," Thalia said heatedly.

"Oh, gods, and then, there was that time when Chiron punished you guys for staying out after curfew, and then Silena was all like, 'Chiron! Kitchen duty totally does not spell out romance!' And then..."

"Stop it!" I said loudly, because their meaningless banter was giving me a severe migraine, and I did not need to hear about the story of the harpy, spatula, and bonsai tree again. "Stop it, please!"

"...Okay," the Hunter girl said uncertainly. "I'm..."

"I know who you are!" Thalia triumphantly guessed. "I'll bet my bow that you're Annabeth!"

Now, it was Annabeth and "Annabeth's" turn to look properly stunned. They regarded the person they were contemplating like the other was from Mars or something.

"Yeah, well, sucks to be you, Pinecone," I smugly said, looking at the last girl. Thalia glared at me.

"What?" I asked, raising my hands. "It just..."

"STOP RHYMING!"

"...funny. You know, 'Thalia Grace, Pinecone Face'—Apollo just loves using that in his haikus."

"Get to the point, will you?" Thalia irritably began, but the last girl interrupted.

"First off," she said, obviously ticked, "I don't have a pinecone for a face, thanks."

"Cheese Whiz," Thalia sardonically said, "you can't even take a nickname?" She directed the last word towards me, while I was silently laughing my head off. Oh, this should be good...Thalia and Thalia death glaring at each other.

I poked Annabeth to get her out of her stupor and whispered in her ear as both Thalias glared at the other, "I've got the popcorn."