You would hate him; you could hate him so easily. Everything about him –the way he talks, acts, even the way he looks at you- they make you want to hate him. Sometimes it's all you can do to stop yourself slapping his face and telling him what you really think of him. Sometimes it's easy. He's out of the spotlight, bad rumours circulating, and he has fewer followers than the day before. Days like that, it's not hard to tell him the truth. At least, you think it's the truth. But you're not sure. You'd need morals to be sure, and you got rid of them a long time ago. Or, at least, you tell yourself you did. Occasionally, you doubt that, doubt all you do. But then you shake your head and carry on, because if you don't, then you can't do your job, make a living, pretend everything's right. And now, as you stare at him, explosives strapped to his body, you know things aren't right. And for one moment, you teeter on the edge. You very nearly fall. The only thing waiting for you would be Torchwood, and you almost want to fall. But it only lasts a second. You barely even register this. But you're shocked, you're scared, and so you do what you always do, like a default setting. Throw your loyalty behind the Families, because they've promised you a good life, they've promised you security. And you don't know Torchwood, don't know what will happen if you take even one small step towards them. You'll lose your good life, your security. For a fraction of a second, you wonder if you even want it anymore. But only for a fraction of a second. You can almost pretend you never thought it. Almost. And when it seems inevitable that the Families will lose, you leave them to it. And you run for the lift. It's going up. At the last moment, she jumps up onto it, that Gwen Cooper. She doesn't try to do anything, just stands there. Until a loud gasp from somewhere below you both alerts you, and when you look down, it's Jack Harkness, back from the dead, running for the lift. Before Gwen pushes past you and slams he hand down on the lift button, you have just enough time to register what you're sure will be your final thought; You really, really hate him. Because of him, you, Gwen, and Harkness are all going to die. And it's your fault. Because he would never be where he is, explosives and all, without the Miracle. Without you.