"Now go. Wherever you please."
That's what Naraku said. 'Wherever you please.' I should be happy. But how can I be happy when my freedom will last... Hell, I don't even know if I'll live through the next hour.
I fly on the wind, barely thinking. My thoughts blur together into one dark haze. And I start to forget—everything. Except that I am dying. Every beat of my newly-restored heart pumps the poisonous miasma further into my body. Soon I will die.
I land—or fall out of the sky—I am not sure which. Not that it matters. Nothing matters anymore. I half-notice my surroundings—I've ended up in a clearing somewhere, shaded by the trees and carpeted thickly in fallen cherry blossoms. The breeze carries the petals near me, but I can barely smell their fragrance. I'm not sure whether it's because my nose is failing or perhaps because I have no interest in flowers anymore. Did I ever? I can't remember.
Where should I go? I still have time, don't I? Some time. I can go anywhere—anywhere the wind can take me. I'm free! I know this is important. I wanted to be free... so desperately. But now I can't remember why.
I try to get up. I'm free. I should go somewhere—anywhere. This can't be the end! But... I... can't move. I can barely feel my own body around me, let alone the breeze or the cherry blossoms. I only feel the beating of my heart. The sound is strange to me. I've never heard my heartbeat from so close before.
But all else is silence. It's so quiet... There's no one else here. Who would be here?
And I know that I am going to die. Not tomorrow. Not in an hour. Soon. I guess this is where it's going to end... all alone. So this is... the freedom I sought. Was it worth it?
At least this will be a pretty place to die. Maybe at least the breeze will remember me. The breeze... I hear something, a sound I thought would be too faint for me to hear by now. But I would recognize it anywhere—that sound, that scent, that aura.
Sessho...maru? My heart beats twice rapidly as I see him. And I remember. Not everything. But I remember him. His is the face I was trying to picture without even knowing it. But what is he doing here?
"I was following the scent of Naraku's miasma." His voice is deep, calm. This is nothing out of the ordinary, his voice tells me. Nothing special. But he is here.
And so I laugh in response, more ironic than amused. I can still laugh? "Disappointed? That it was... just me?" I ask. Talking is not easy, but my voice sounds stronger than I expected. Just seeing him makes me feel stronger. But not strong enough to look up at him while I wait for his answer. Well, I am not really waiting for an answer. I am waiting for him to leave—as silently as he came, not caring that I have only minutes left to live, at the most.
There is a pause. He says nothing for so long that I almost think he has gone without me noticing, but then he says softly, "I knew it was you." His voice is still calm, but I hear... something? I don't know. But suddenly my hearing has sharpened, and I can hear everything. His breath. My breath. The breeze still whisking its petals to and fro around us.
Both of our hearts beating.
He... "You knew..." And still... you came... Sesshomaru. Of course he knew. But he came... anyway. For me?
His hand moves to the more slender of the two swords slung at his waist. Is he going to kill me? If he is, I'm not sure whether it's because to make sure I die this time or out of mercy. Either way, I want to tell him it doesn't matter. I'll be gone soon anyway.
He looks at me, but not at me... He is looking for something. His eyes widen slightly... very slightly. I would not notice, except that all of my senses have heightened so much. Is that because my death is so close? A sign that I have only moments left to live? Sesshomaru's eyes half close, and he takes his hand from his sword hilt.
"Is this... it, then?" he asks. His tone is still calm, but that hesitation... it is the closest thing to emotion I have ever heard from him. For me?
He raises his eyes to me for a moment, waiting for an answer. How do I answer him? "Yes... but..." I pause. "It's all right now..." It doesn't matter now. If he knows... that I love him. It doesn't matter if I know that I love him.
I hear something... someone coming? But the sound is faint. My senses are failing me once again, and I know that this is truly the end.
But I am... so... happy. Sesshomaru knew... and he still came. For me. His gaze is lowered once again, and I stare shamelessly. His long silver hair, falling into his golden eyes. The corners of his mouth turned ever so slightly downward. The marks on his forehead and cheekbones. The points of his ears. I memorize every detail of him.
And it really doesn't matter. As soon as I saw him, I didn't care anymore if I died. My eyes lock onto his. I was able to see you... one last time... Sesshomaru.
I have no regrets.
I love you.
As I die, I am smiling.
I am dead. Aren't I? But this is not hell, and although it seems closer to heaven, it's not that either. I... have no body anymore. But my soul still lives—and I still feel the wind around me. Around... no, not around me. I am the wind.
I have become the wind.
I am truly free.
And it was worth it.
Sesshomaru is still there. I do not see him, or smell him—winds do not have eyes. But I... feel him. Sesshomaru. I can't ever say the words to him, but that's all right. He knows.
Maybe he will defeat Naraku one day, but I don't really care anymore. Naraku has no power over me. I am free. But I allow myself to caress him once—just once. I stay warm and gentle.
I love you.
No. I loved you.
And with his face emblazoned in my old memory and the feel of him shining in my new memory, I blow away. And now I toss the cherry blossoms downward as I continue on into my new beginning.
I am free.
It did not take many years for Kagura to forget Sesshomaru—after all, a breeze is not renowned for its long memory—nor, for that matter, are a gale or a tornado. And she was all three at times.
But she always retained an inexplicable fondness for dogs, for deep voices, and for long, thick hair she could ruffle as she whistled along.