PROLOGUE
September '08
"You guys are going to have to have to get out of there now! Do you copy?"
The blast deafens me, my Commander was yelling orders at me. I couldn't hear the radio, I felt something warm and sharp in my back. I couldn't move, I couldn't see. I felt around for her, my fiancée, Leila James, the love of my life, or so I thought. She reminded me of a girl I knew in grade school, Ana Steele, with her long brown hair and her round gray eyes, her heart shaped face. "No stop Christian, look for Leila!" I thought. I found her, grabbing at her ankle. Why she on the ground? No god no, please no! I pulled on her leg. Maybe she is passed out from the sound, somebody should help us! I thought.
I paged back on the radio! "Commander, it's Captain Grey. I'm down! I can't see or hear anything. Help us! Please!" I could only make out mumbling afterward. I stayed low and waited until two people grabbed my arms and pulled.
"Leila! Don't forget Leila! Please!" Only I have dragged me out as we left a fallen soldier behind. I blacked out, not remembering what happened after.
I later woke up in an M.A.S.H. hospital. I had shrapnel in my back from the blast, the doctor said they got what they could out of my back nothing had gotten into my spine. Leila, my poor Leila was gone. I don't remember much about the explosion before or after. That night I started dreaming of Leila before the blast, the loud bang. I woke up covered in sweat. The next morning I spoke to a therapist. He told me it was normal to have nightmares about fear of death in battle. I didn't want a fear I was comfortable with the unknown that death was, but what I was not ok with was the death of somebody I had grown to love. Knowing what they like best in the morning, to how they like to have sex, thinking back on the short-lived relationship that was Leila and me, I only had wanted her for the fact I had envisioned this life since I was nine, but with one other girl. After morning her death and having to call her mother who loved her dearly to tell her that she was in battle and had passed hearing that sweet woman break down over the phone, telling her I would fly home with her so she wasn't alone, and help with anything to her family. The mother thanked me and wept. I know I need help, somehow I don't know how it is going to happen. I prayed to God to help me, to send me an angel, to help my wounds heal, to help the nightmares to go away.
I called my mom a few days later, asked her how life was. She told me she was sorry to hear about Leila. Hearing the pain in her voice made it more real, as I had to act like a soldier on the phone to Leila's mom. The woman I wanted, was no longer here in this world. I cried with my mother, "Mom, you know how to find things. Can you find a woman Ana Steele?" Almost sobbing as I said the name.
"Darling, it's a long shot but I'll do what I can. Trust me." She said to me as I cried, "Christian, there is something else. I called a few days ago but they told me what happened and I have to tell you now. Your father was in an accident, and I am sorry Baby, but your Dad is no longer with us. He died, Sweetheart." I can't believe my luck, the woman I love, along with my father, are both gone.
"Mom, I promise you, I will never love another woman as much as I did Ana Steele. I will find her, to love her and only her again!" I cried into the phone.
"Grey!" My Commander yelled as I got off the phone, "Your Discharge Papers" He saluted me, "An honor sir!" He turned and left.
While I wanted to go home, I was in no mood to celebrate my return. I murmured to myself as I walked down the hallway, "Dear God, promise me a safe return, and help me to find Ana Steele. Thank you. Amen."
Now where would I find her?