Faster than a speeding bullet, the azure lightning bolt swept across the sky over Gotham. He dove into the earth in a vacant field outside the suburbs, and tunneled the rest of the way to his subterranean destination. He needed to have a talk with the Dark Knight, and if need be, he was willing the beard the bat in it's cave.
He entered the immense cavern through a distant wall, and scanned the inky void with eyes that percieved far more than the commonly visible spectrum. There. He had his bearings now. He flew fast as thought across the bottomless chasm between him and the man he sought, coming to rest behind the Batman, who sat at his computer typing.
"Bruce, we need to talk."
"Superman. I've made it clear to you before that you are not to disturb me here without warning." He went on typing.
All right, Bruce. You want to play it this way..."I'm sorry for bursting in like this, Batman, but there wasn't any other way to get in touch with you. Your Justice League communicator isn't responding, and..."
"I deactivated my communicator after withdrawing from the League. You are well aware of this."
Heaving an inward sigh, Superman plowed on. "Now that, Br-Batman, is exactly why I wanted to talk to you. Don't you think withdrawing is a little bit...Precipitous?"
"No. The Flash showed complete disregard for rules and proprieties while we were in alert status. He was not disciplined for it."
"Alert status? It was just a get-together."
"When all members of the League are together at the Watchtower in uniform, it qualifies as being on alert status. His behavior was inexcusable."
"C'mon, Batman. Don't you think you might be taking this whole thing just a little too seriously? After all, it was just a simple who--"
"No. You are distracting me from my investigation. Goodbye."
"Batman, Bruce, I think we really need to talk this out. I know you were offended, and maybe we should have been a little harder on him, but it was just a harmless little--"
"Leave. Now." Batman had stopped typing, and had invoked the Voice.
"Not until you agree to talk this out with him. He's really sorry about it now."
"Too late. Such disrespect is intolerable. My decision stands. I'll tell you one last time to get out of the cave, and out of Gotham. NOW."
Superman strode forward, undaunted. Well, that wasn't quite true, no sane person could possibly challenge the Bat like this without being at least a little bit daunted, but he was about as steady in the knees as anyone could hope. "Bruce, I think you're blowing the whole thing way out of proportion. So the Flash put a whoopie cushion under your chair. So what? It's just a prank. Nothing was hurt except your pride."
Superman didn't even see the chunk of Kryptonite until after Batman had hurled it at him, and even his reflexes weren't quite enough to save him. Batman threw a second piece, leaving a nasty bruise on the Man of Steel's forhead. Superman went down, hovering at the edge of consciousness for a while as he stared up at Batman's cowled visage.
"I told you to leave, you interfering blue busybody. Maybe this will teach to to mind your own business next time." Just as the lights began to fade, Superman saw something so horrible, so unspeakably evil, so unutterably WRONG, that he let out a terrified, agonized, scream of horror. Batman was smiling, actually grinning from ear to ear.
Darkness consumed him, and for a time, Superman was free from torment.
(v^V^v) (v^V^v) (v^V^v) (v^V^v)
He awoke hanging upside-down, bound head to foot in something soft and lacy-feeling. His eyes were bound tightly with what must have been lead foil, for he couldn't see a thing. He felt the proximity of the hated Kryptonite, not enough to poison him, but near enough to cancel out his powers. He was helpless.
Suddenly, his eyes were uncovered. Batman crouched in front of him, still smiling that hellish, unnatural smile. Superman looked down, and saw that he was dangling from the Daily Planet building. He inspected hinself, and found that he was bound with pink ribbons, done up in charming bows. Then he noticed what Batman had in his hands.
The camera clicked again and again, as Batman cheerfully used up an entire roll of film to record the moment. When he put a new roll in, he started whistling. Sweet lord, WHISTLING! BATMAN WAS WHISTLING!! Satisfied that the universe was gone completely mad, Superman sank back into oblivion.
(v^V^v) (v^V^v) (v^V^v) (v^V^v)
He awoke again, and there before him stood most of the Justice league, smiling and laughing. The staff of the Daily Planet was also on hand, most laughing hard, but none laughing harder than Lois Lane. For the first time, he realized that, before trussing him in lacy pink ribbons, Batman had removed his costume, except for the scarlet briefs and the cape. He also became aware of something...odd, about his face. He couldn't put his finger on it, but something was definitely wrong with his face.
Lois rallied from her merriment and held a small mirror up in front of Superman. There, tattooed all over his face in stark black ink, was a giant bat. It seemed like a good time to pass out again, and this is exactly what he did.
The End
He entered the immense cavern through a distant wall, and scanned the inky void with eyes that percieved far more than the commonly visible spectrum. There. He had his bearings now. He flew fast as thought across the bottomless chasm between him and the man he sought, coming to rest behind the Batman, who sat at his computer typing.
"Bruce, we need to talk."
"Superman. I've made it clear to you before that you are not to disturb me here without warning." He went on typing.
All right, Bruce. You want to play it this way..."I'm sorry for bursting in like this, Batman, but there wasn't any other way to get in touch with you. Your Justice League communicator isn't responding, and..."
"I deactivated my communicator after withdrawing from the League. You are well aware of this."
Heaving an inward sigh, Superman plowed on. "Now that, Br-Batman, is exactly why I wanted to talk to you. Don't you think withdrawing is a little bit...Precipitous?"
"No. The Flash showed complete disregard for rules and proprieties while we were in alert status. He was not disciplined for it."
"Alert status? It was just a get-together."
"When all members of the League are together at the Watchtower in uniform, it qualifies as being on alert status. His behavior was inexcusable."
"C'mon, Batman. Don't you think you might be taking this whole thing just a little too seriously? After all, it was just a simple who--"
"No. You are distracting me from my investigation. Goodbye."
"Batman, Bruce, I think we really need to talk this out. I know you were offended, and maybe we should have been a little harder on him, but it was just a harmless little--"
"Leave. Now." Batman had stopped typing, and had invoked the Voice.
"Not until you agree to talk this out with him. He's really sorry about it now."
"Too late. Such disrespect is intolerable. My decision stands. I'll tell you one last time to get out of the cave, and out of Gotham. NOW."
Superman strode forward, undaunted. Well, that wasn't quite true, no sane person could possibly challenge the Bat like this without being at least a little bit daunted, but he was about as steady in the knees as anyone could hope. "Bruce, I think you're blowing the whole thing way out of proportion. So the Flash put a whoopie cushion under your chair. So what? It's just a prank. Nothing was hurt except your pride."
Superman didn't even see the chunk of Kryptonite until after Batman had hurled it at him, and even his reflexes weren't quite enough to save him. Batman threw a second piece, leaving a nasty bruise on the Man of Steel's forhead. Superman went down, hovering at the edge of consciousness for a while as he stared up at Batman's cowled visage.
"I told you to leave, you interfering blue busybody. Maybe this will teach to to mind your own business next time." Just as the lights began to fade, Superman saw something so horrible, so unspeakably evil, so unutterably WRONG, that he let out a terrified, agonized, scream of horror. Batman was smiling, actually grinning from ear to ear.
Darkness consumed him, and for a time, Superman was free from torment.
(v^V^v) (v^V^v) (v^V^v) (v^V^v)
He awoke hanging upside-down, bound head to foot in something soft and lacy-feeling. His eyes were bound tightly with what must have been lead foil, for he couldn't see a thing. He felt the proximity of the hated Kryptonite, not enough to poison him, but near enough to cancel out his powers. He was helpless.
Suddenly, his eyes were uncovered. Batman crouched in front of him, still smiling that hellish, unnatural smile. Superman looked down, and saw that he was dangling from the Daily Planet building. He inspected hinself, and found that he was bound with pink ribbons, done up in charming bows. Then he noticed what Batman had in his hands.
The camera clicked again and again, as Batman cheerfully used up an entire roll of film to record the moment. When he put a new roll in, he started whistling. Sweet lord, WHISTLING! BATMAN WAS WHISTLING!! Satisfied that the universe was gone completely mad, Superman sank back into oblivion.
(v^V^v) (v^V^v) (v^V^v) (v^V^v)
He awoke again, and there before him stood most of the Justice league, smiling and laughing. The staff of the Daily Planet was also on hand, most laughing hard, but none laughing harder than Lois Lane. For the first time, he realized that, before trussing him in lacy pink ribbons, Batman had removed his costume, except for the scarlet briefs and the cape. He also became aware of something...odd, about his face. He couldn't put his finger on it, but something was definitely wrong with his face.
Lois rallied from her merriment and held a small mirror up in front of Superman. There, tattooed all over his face in stark black ink, was a giant bat. It seemed like a good time to pass out again, and this is exactly what he did.
The End