NB: These drabbles are meant to be read with the main story, Separation Anxiety, which you can find in my works.

Filthy

The blood was everywhere.

His shirt. His hands. His face. He could see flecks of it on the lenses of his glasses, a smudged line of it across his jaw when he looked in the mirror.

"Ah, it's beautiful," said a familiar voice in his head. "Didn't it feel good, Yuratchka? Wasn't it perfect, feeling the flesh peel off beneath your fingernails?"

A shiver of pure pleasure traveled down his spine as he recalled the screams, and the frantic, begging eyes.

Yes, he thought, caught in the moment of ecstasy. It was perfect…

"Yuuri?"

His heart caught in his throat. He could see Viktor standing in the doorway behind him, watching Yuuri with concern in his eyes.

"Is everything alright? You said you were going to wash up…"

Yuuri blinked, coming back to his senses.

"Ah… right, I forgot…"

Viktor stepped forward, wrapping his arms around Yuuri's chest.

"Don't listen, Yura," he whispered. "No matter what Nikita says, you are here now. With me."

He reached to take one of Yuuri's bloodied hands, kissing the palm over Yuuri's shoulder.

"No, I haven't washed yet!" he said, a childlike fear filling him at the sight of Viktor's lips against his filthy skin. Vitya caught his eye in the mirror.

"I don't care, zolotse. You are mine, and you are perfect."

In Dreams - 1

Yuuri tried his best to concentrate, but the fish wouldn't lie still. A moment later the paper net broke and Yuuri was splashed as the goldfish fled back into the water.

"No!" he cried in frustration. Toshiya laughed.

"Bad luck, Yuu-chan," he said, ruffling Yuuri's hair. Yuuri frowned petulantly at the basin.

"I wanna try again," he said, tugging at his father's yukata.

"You already had three chances," Toshiya said, bending down to pick him up and hoist the boy on his shoulders. "There's other things to do at a festival," he added as Yuuri leaned on his father's head.

"Okay, tou-san," Yuuri said, staring around at the lit stalls curiously as they walked. Delicious smells filled the air, and the sound of hundreds of people talking and laughing surrounded him like a comforting blanket, making him drowsy.

"Look, the fireworks will be starting soon," Toshiya said suddenly, and Yuuri was startled by a savage, terrible crack. They both fell to the floor, and when Yuuri looked up, his body aching, there was a hole through his father's forehead.

"FATHER!" he cried, nearly rolling out of bed in his panic. Viktor, alert as always, grabbed at his arm to prevent him from falling.

"Yuuri, are you alright?!" he asked as he helped his lover back onto the mattress. Yuuri could feel himself shaking, but he couldn't shake away the image of his father's empty gaze.

"Vitya," he said weakly, needing to be held, needing to be kissed and stroked and reassured. Viktor didn't need to be told twice to pull Yuuri into a gentle embrace, his lips pressing against his hairline.

"You're safe. I'm here, Yuratchka." he said softly, his breath warm against Yuuri's cheek. "I'm here."

Tender

He knew he was a little drunk. He could feel it in his veins, in his slightly muddled thoughts.

They were alone in the elevator now, but Yuuri looked as calm and collected as ever. He hadn't drunk nearly enough to lose control, but seeing that serious face made Vitya want to tease him a little.

"Yuuri…" he said, draping his arms over Yuuri's shoulders. "You haven't given me any orders for a while," he murmured, burying his face in that soft, black hair.

"I asked you to shoot that spy half an hour ago," Yuuri said simply, not even looking back at him. Vitya made a disgruntled noise.

"That's not what I mean and you know it."

"Then what is it you want, Vitya?" he asked, his voice taking on a seductive tone.

"It's what you want that matters, Yura," he said, gently kissing the nape of Yuuri's neck.

"The elevator will reach our floor in a minute or two. Not a lot of time for what I want."

"In the hotel room, then. But I'm sure there's something I can do here," he teased, grinning.

"Well, I can think of one thing…"

"Anything," Vitya said.

Yuuri then turned to look at him, a warm, loving smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

"Kiss me?"

"Th-that's all?" he asked, caught off guard.

"Mm," Yuuri said, his brown eyes looking up at him with a rare tenderness that Vitya hadn't seen in a while.

Viktor felt like he'd been shot through the heart.

Collapse

Yuuri wasn't ready for it. He'd had so many things on his mind that he forgot to be careful, forgot to steel himself.

It was only natural that when he opened the door to their apartment in St. Petersburg, he was immediately thrown to the ground, collapsed under Makkachin's weight.

"Gah!" he cried as the poodle bowled him over, knocking the keys from his hand.

"Yuuri?! What happened, what-" Viktor turned the corner into their hallway at record speed; he'd been talking to Petya near the stairs. At the sight of Yuuri sprawled on the ground, Makkachin licking his face excitedly, he laughed. "You forgot, huh?"

"Makkachin, that's enough," Yuuri said, trying to push the dog off. "I'm glad to see you too, but I can't breathe!"

Viktor grabbed the dog and pulled him away, smiling. "I kind of wish Petya could have seen this before he left; the Nikiforov pakhan defeated by a poodle."

Yuuri shot him a glare and pulled himself up, dusting his clothes off.

"Where's the leash?" he asked pointedly. Vitya frowned.

"You're taking him out for a walk?"

Yuuri grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him down.

"I'm taking you for a ride, you misbehaving puppy," he grinned, wrapping his hand around the tie and leading Vitya into the apartment none too gently.

Comfort Food

How old had Yuuri been when he last had a pork cutlet bowl…?

As the food was set in front of him, he blinked, shocked at the sensory details he seemed to be recalling all at once. The color of the egg and the golden fried pork, the delicious, mouth-watering smell…

He must have been only four or five the last time he'd had something this good.

He imagined Katerina's face, that same lost, puppy dog look in her eyes that Vitya sometimes got. A twinge of guilt went through him.

Not that Russian food isn't delicious, he amended quickly as he ate. But… I'd forgotten how good katsudon is.

"You look happy, Yuuri," Mari said with a small smile as she served herself more rice. "Missed the taste of Japan, huh?"

"Perhaps a bit," he said, putting the chopsticks to his lips. Vitya hid a small chuckle behind his hand.

In Dreams - 2

Yuuri could feel someone's hand in his own. It was warm, much larger than his own.

He felt safe, somehow, even though he couldn't see whose it was.

"Nikita?" he asked tentatively into the darkness. No reply. "Father? Mama?"

Silence.

Yuuri began to grow slightly unnerved. He tried to pull away, but the hand held on tightly.

"Don't be afraid," a voice echoed in his ears. It was familiar, but also strange. He couldn't place it.

"Who are you?" Yuuri asked, clutching his small hand to his chest.

"The person who loves you most."

Yuuri's heart caught in his throat.

"You're a liar," he said. "You were never here for me."

"But I will be, Yuratchka. I promise."

Yuuri felt something warm and wet on his hands, and he knew it was blood. He raised his fingers to his mouth, licking them clean as he pulled his hand free from the other person's grasp.

"You promised me many things, Vitya. You broke them all."

He awoke suddenly, with a start, in his own apartment, his fingers entwined with Viktor's.

A dream, he thought as he began to calm down. Viktor was snoring lightly at his side, like always.

Just a dream…

Harsh Whisper

The rain was falling, soaking their clothes, washing the blood away.

Stop, stop! Yuuri thought desperately, pressing his hands to the wound, trying to prevent the precious life from draining out of Vitya's side.

"Yuuri…" Viktor said, pressing his hand to Yuuri's cheek weakly.

"Shut up! Don't talk!" Yuuri said, shaking. He meant to tell someone to call an ambulance, but Antosha was already on it, her face pale.

"Heh, maybe I'm crazy, but you look really beautiful right now," Vitya smiled, his thumb brushing against Yuuri's eyelashes. "I wouldn't mind dying if this is the last thing I see."

Yuuri grabbed his hand, holding onto it for all he was worth.

"Don't you dare!" he cried, his fingernails digging into Vitya's skin. "You're not allowed to die, you can't leave me again!"

Vitya muttered something, but Yuuri couldn't hear him. Before he could lean in, Viktor pulled him down with the last of his strength.

"I will never leave you," he whispered harshly. "This isn't enough to kill me. Show them what happens when they touch what is yours. Fucking mutilate the bastard who tried to take me from you."

Accursed

He ran for all he was worth.

It didn't matter that he was naked, save for the blanket around his shoulders, or that he wasn't wearing any shoes. He ignored the sharp pain on the soles of his feet as he dashed over the concrete, pure adrenaline and fear pushing him forward like an animal.

"Over there! He's trying to get to the river!"

No, I'm not trying to go anywhere! Kolya thought desperately, his blond hair plastered to his face with his own sweat.

He threw himself down another alley, trying to find somewhere to hide, anywhere.

I shouldn't have killed him, I should have just stayed quiet and let him have his way!

He couldn't say what had made him do it. It wasn't like it was the first time Kolya had been raped. It wasn't even close. Since the age of 7, his life had become a nightmare of constant pain in his lower back, of being forced to give disgusting old men blowjobs at gun point, of being tied up, whipped, and violated until he bled, his body much too small to handle what they did to him.

There was a while where he was paid for it, but it didn't make him any less of a prisoner. From the moment his parents had sold him, he'd been a slave.

They wanted a son. Not a weak halfling like me, he thought painfully as he turned a corner. And the one time I should have acted like it, I snapped… God, I shouldn't have killed him!

He ran right into someone and was thrown to the ground.

A man with brown hair and eyes stared down at him, a look of faint surprise on his face. His gaze wandered from Kolya's face down to his exposed body, but the expression remained neutral. A couple of other men were behind him, staring in shock.

Kolya wrapped the blanket around himself tightly in shame as he struggled to his feet.

"He went this way, shoot him on sight!" came the cry. Kolya broke out into a cold sweat. They would be on him any moment, he didn't have time to explain himself.

"Wait," the first man said before Kolya could flee. It was a quiet, thoughtful sort of voice, though it was scratchy, as if it rarely got much use. "We'll hide you, over here."

With surprising force, the man grabbed Kolya by the arm and pushed him into a door he hadn't noticed. Kolya had a moment to register the tattoo crawling up the side of the man's neck before he closed the door behind him, leaving Kolya trapped in darkness.

He… he didn't think I was disgusting, Kolya thought blankly as he stared at the door.

He saw me, saw my accursed body, and he still thought I was worth helping.

Something Kolya had never felt before seemed to be threatening to overcome him.

A Mistake

Viktor was exhausted. The raid had taken much longer than he'd expected it to, and he was relieved to finally return home, even if it was the middle of the night.

"I'm home," he called tiredly from the hall, but no one replied. He didn't expect Yuuri to still be awake at this hour, even on a raid night.

Guess I'll shower and go to bed, he thought, undressing as he went. Once he'd washed off the blood and sweat, he trudged to the bedroom, trying his best to be quiet.

As he'd thought, Yuuri was fast asleep, arms around Makkachin, a peaceful, sweet expression on his face. Vitya loved to see Yuuri sleeping; it reminded him so much of the little brother he'd left behind so many years ago.

He tried to slip beneath the covers without disturbing him, but Yuuri began to stir a moment later.

"Mm, Vitya? You're back?" he muttered, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

"Crap, I'm sorry, Yuuri, I didn't mean to wake you…"

"It's fine," Yuuri yawned. "It was cold without you," he murmured. Like a kitten seeking warmth, he nosed into Viktor's arms, nuzzling at his neck gently. Viktor could hardly contain himself. Seeing Yuuri this innocent and defenseless made him want to tease him.

"Does my Yura need something particular to warm him up?" Vitya asked suggestively, running his hand down Yuuri's thigh slowly. He didn't really mean anything by it; he expected Yuuri to protest half-asleep, and then they'd both rest after Vitya got a good chuckle out of it all.

But his fingers definitely met resistance a moment later and he froze.

Oh shit.

Yuuri made a noise somewhere between a laugh and a snort.

"You really shouldn't start things you know you can't deliver on," he said, sounding far more alert as he pulled away, his eyes glinting hungrily at Viktor.

"W-wait, I was just messing around, I can't, I'm exhausted-!"

"Too bad, you should have thought of that before you let your hands wander," Yuuri said, licking the side of Viktor's cheek.

All traces of the innocent, peaceful Yuuri were gone.

I made a mistake, Viktor groaned as he surrendered to Yuuri's touch, his thoughts going blank as Yuuri kissed him deeply, his lips hot and insistent.

"C-can we at least make it short, just this once?" he asked breathlessly when they pulled apart.

"No way in hell, Vitya," Yuuri whispered, and when he pressed himself against Viktor, he knew he was in trouble.

Oh, fuck me…

Sated

Yuuri fell forward into the mattress, exhausted.

He turned to see Viktor's face, eyes glazed over, breathing heavy, a trail of saliva dripping from the corner of his mouth.

"You look like you've had a bad night," Yuuri said, unable to gather the strength to laugh at Vitya's stupefied expression.

Viktor groaned, closing his eyes.

"No, a really good one. But I don't know if I can walk for a day or two…" he said, reaching up to wipe his mouth with shaking fingers.

"That's too bad," Yuuri said, giving him a hand. "We have work tomorrow."

Vitya gave a pitiful whine, hiding his face in his pillow. "How are you even able to go that long?!" he asked in a muffled voice.

"I don't know," Yuuri replied, brushing Vitya's hair gently with his fingers, a warm sense of peace filling him now that he was sated.

"My ass is killing me," Vitya cried, and when he looked up, Yuuri saw there were crocodile tears in his blue eyes. "I know I'm your dog, but doesn't a dog get at least a treat after a job well done?"

"I was the one doing the work," Yuuri laughed, but he nevertheless pulled Viktor into his arms. "There, you were a very good puppy," he said, kissing his lips softly.

If Viktor had had a tail, Yuuri could easily imagine it wagging as his eyes lit up.

Total Control

"Arms behind your back," Yuuri muttered into his ear. Vitya swallowed nervously, completely blindfolded.

"Wh-what for?"

"To tie you up, of course," Yuuri said. "Don't question your pakhan, Vitya," he added, his fingers lingering at Vitya's throat.

God this is the most extra preparation for a surprise party I've ever had, Viktor thought, his heart pounding in his ears as he offered his wrists for Yuuri to bind. He could already imagine Petya and Alyosha's innuendos.

Those two are far too cheeky for their own good.

"There, I think you're ready to go," Yuuri said, and Viktor prepared himself to be led out the door.

Instead, Yuuri sat him down on what he was sure was the mattress.

"Huh? Weren't we ready to go?" he asked, confused.

"Mhm," Yuuri's voice said coolly, his hands doing something to Viktor's shirt.

"Then wh-" he gave a strangled gasp as Yuuri's tongue traced a line down his stomach, now bare.

He was undoing the buttons?! But-?!

"Wait, what about the party?!"

"There never was one," Yuuri laughed. "This is the surprise."

Viktor should have been used to this by now. He shouldn't have been shocked to be led around by the nose. But he always was, and he always blushed, even after knowing his lover better than anyone.

"Oh…" he said quietly, his voice thick with sudden lust. "And I'm blindfolded because…?"

"Because you're mine," Yuuri breathed into his ear. "Completely, and totally mine. You don't need to see to know that, Vitya."

I really don't, he thought as Yuuri ran his hand down his spine lightly, eliciting a pitiful moan.

"Happy birthday, Vitya," he said, his voice low and seductive. "You're going to beg me to fuck you before the night is over."

Dear God I know I am, Viktor thought weakly as Yuuri offered a finger for him to suck.

Undone

Yuuri could hardly understand what was happening to him. He'd never felt like this, he'd never wanted to defile someone the way he did now. He locked himself in the bathroom, slumping against the door until he was on the floor with his face in his hands.

No. Stop. This isn't the same as work. You can't do this, Yuuri.

But he couldn't stop. He couldn't forget the warm, sensuous smile, or the piercing blue eyes that looked like they could undress you at a glance.

They were familiar, but at the same time utterly foreign to him.

And so bizarrely clean. Innocent. It wasn't the thought Yuuri would have had about anyone else who looked like his brother now did. Vitya was not innocent, he clearly wasn't anything of the sort, and yet…

I want to dirty him.

A wave of longing overflowed in his stomach. He hardly noticed when he began to bite his knuckles, his mind somewhere else entirely.

I want him, I want him so much!

He imagined biting the nape of Viktor's neck, running his hands down his chest. He imagined taking him in his mouth with an almost savage hunger, he imagined making him cry out Yuuri's name. It was different from his usual needs, but the thought excited him so much it was making him come undone.

It was wrong. It was disgusting.

Vitya is my brother, he tried to reason, even as his hand slipped between his thighs.

Somehow, that only made Yuuri want him even more.

Silent Fury

Vitya knew Yuuri's body better than perhaps his lover did himself. He knew every birthmark, every scar, every single mark he left each night.

But the one he found on Yuuri's shoulder while undressing him, an angry, red welt just above the collarbone, wasn't his.

"What is this?" he asked coldly, his hands frozen in place. Yuuri looked down, puzzled.

"A kiss mark, isn't it? You always leave them," he said carelessly.

"This isn't mine," Vitya said quietly, anger burning deep in the pit of his stomach.

Yuuri looked thoughtful for a second. "Oh, I suppose it was probably that assassin I killed earlier. She thought she would play with me before she took me out, but I got out of the ropes before she got any further."

His calm tone infuriated Viktor.

That's it? You don't care?! You can't even so much as hold someone's hand if it isn't mine and you don't care that someone else marked you?!

"Vitya?"

"You're mine," Viktor said stiffly.

Yuuri gave him an amused look. "I'm the master in this relationship, you know-"

He was cut off as Viktor grabbed him by the wrists and pushed him down, biting down hard on his shoulder just over the mark.. Yuuri gave a small cry of shock.

"Vitya?!"

"You're mine!"

Viktor insisted, fury and jealousy spurring him on. It wasn't like him, it wasn't like him to love this recklessly. It wasn't like him to bite and bruise and derive pleasure from the sound of Yuuri's small cries, but he was, and it felt good.

It was only when he looked at Yuuri's face a moment before he entered him that the fury melted away. There were tears in those brown eyes, staring up at him but also through him, and he was suddenly aware that Yuuri was trembling beneath him.

"Oh my god," he said aloud, horror filling him from within as he let go of Yuuri's wrists. "I'm… I didn't… I'm so sorry," he managed to choke out as he sat up, backing away from those frightened eyes.

Yuuri covered his face with his arms, trying to hide the sobs that Viktor knew he'd provoked.

"Vitya, Vitya," Yuuri cried softly, but Viktor knew it wasn't him he was calling for. He was calling for his brother to save him from the monsters. He was calling to be saved from him.

Trembling Hands

The hand over his mouth tightened, almost smothering him. He was going to hyperventilate, he could feel it coming on, but Nikita hissed in his ear.

"Shh."

They stood stock still, Yuuri's heart in his mouth as the seconds ticked by.

The sound of footsteps echoed nearer. Clack. Clack. Clack.

This is it, Yuuri thought, shutting his eyes desperately. I'll never be able to go home to Mama and Father. I'll never see Vitya again.

His hands clung to Nikita's, trembling. He tried to cover his own mouth and nose before they were found.

Kill me, Nikita. Kill me now, before they see how damaged I really am.

Help

It burned.

Not the same kind of burns that had marked his shoulders and his soul. Not even the kind that had been pressed onto his skin with hot metal. It was more of a sharp, stinging ache that flared to life with every movement.

Fuck. I need to get to a doctor, he thought, gritting his teeth as he stumbled forward, one hand to the wall for support. He wanted to pull the knife out with every fiber of his being, but he knew he'd bleed out if he did.

Careless. I should have seen him coming, he groaned, clutching his side with each torturous step. I should have… seen…

Yuuri fell to his knees, his vision blurring. He knew he was dying.

Heh… if that's how it is…

His hand clasped around the knife's handle, and before he could have misgivings, he wrenched it from his abdomen in a sharp, excruciating moment.

It was almost cathartic, how much it hurt.

I should have done this myself, years ago, he laughed weakly as he slumped against the wall. I should have ended it on my own terms.

He closed his eyes, listening to the sound of his own heart beating its last in his ears. Almost unconscious, he heard a familiar voice crying his name.

"Yuuri! YUURI!"

Ah… Vitya…?

He no longer had the strength to open his eyes to see if he was imagining it, but something in his chest ached.

I've waited for this moment for so long… so why…?

Why do I want to be saved?

Vitya… help me…

Don't Leave

Viktor could tell when a panic attack was imminent.

They weren't always triggered; sometimes the anxiety just showed up out of nowhere. The warning signs were always there, if he knew where to look, and years of being at Yuuri's side had certainly taught him that.

He recognized them almost at once when Yuuri took his hand in the car.

It wasn't a sensual touch. It was hardly a touch at all, his fingers limp over Vitya's. They were just there, a quiet cry for help, and Viktor immediately took them, raising them to his lips and kissing them warmly.

Not yet, Yuratchka. We'll be home soon, he thought, trying to send Yuuri strength and love through his touch. Somehow he managed to keep up the mask up until the point where Petya left them at the stairs, as usual, before he clasped Viktor's hand with desperate force.

"We're almost there," Viktor murmured reassuringly as he hurried toward their door. "Just a minute, hold on just a second longer, Yuuri…"

He fumbled with the key for a moment before he pushed the door open, nudging the space with his foot to prevent Makkachin from jumping out. As soon as they were inside, he lifted Yuuri up, bridal style, and carried him to the sofa. It was a mark of how close he was to the breaking point that his lover didn't make a single noise of complaint.

He settled him down, stroking his soft hair reassuringly. Makkachin, sensing that something was wrong, nosed at Yuuri's hand.

"You're home now. It's alright, Yuratchka," he said. "I'll get you tea and a blanket, okay? I promise I'll be right back."

He made to move, but Yuuri caught onto his jacket.

"Please, don't go," he said in a strangled voice. His eyes were wide and afraid, not quite lucid.

"I'll only be going to the kitchen and bedroom, I'll be back in less than five minutes," Vitya said, cupping Yuuri's face. "You can watch me, see?" He pointed to the hallway.

Yuuri shook his head frantically. "Please, don't leave me, Vitya," he pleaded, looking like he was about to cry. Viktor's heart broke a little.

"N-no, of course, I would never," he lied, kneeling at Yuuri's side. "I will never leave you, I promise."

He couldn't bring himself to admit the fact that he had already broken that promise. More than once.

Saccharine

Sometimes, Viktor wanted to see Yuuri fucked out. There was something deeply satisfying in being able to prove that he could make his lover cry out his name senselessly, completely giving in to desire, the way Yuuri usually managed to do to him.

But there were also times, like tonight, when he wanted to treasure the man he loved more than life itself.

"Vitya, that tickles," Yuuri laughed as Viktor covered his shoulders in gentle kisses, making sure to kiss every bit of the scarred, discolored skin that Yuuri hid from everyone but him.

"Mm," he said simply, his arms around Yuuri's waist as he moved on to the skin on his back, taking his time as he left his marks slowly, savoring the familiar taste on his tongue. Yuuri's breath caught as he made his way down, pushing Yuuri forward as he did; despite Yuuri's rougher tastes in sex, Vitya knew that making love was something he needed, though he'd never ask for it himself.

And I'm the only one who can give you that, Viktor thought with satisfaction as he bit at Yuuri's waist playfully, enjoying the soft cry Yuuri gave as his teeth nipped the skin.

He pulled him back up, kissing Yuuri's neck.

"I love you," he murmured, knowing how much Yuuri loved hearing him say it. He turned Yuuri's head toward him and kissed him deeply, letting Yuuri moan into it as his hand wandered down his muscled stomach. "Zolotse moyo, you are my everything," he said breathlessly, pressing their foreheads together, Yuuri already hard at his touch.

"Flatterer," Yuuri whispered into the small space between them. "Always with the sweet words."

"It's not flattery if it's true, Yura."

He kissed him again. And again.

And again.

Notes:

Welp, I ended up writing a bunch of mini-stories set in the canon for SepAnx... instead of actually writing chapter 10 LOL (kill me).

Anyway, these are all canon to the main story. Have fun guessing when and where they take place in relation to the main plot. Thanks for reading, hope you'll enjoy them!