A/N: Nothing you recognize is mine. I'm just borrowing them for a little while.
Never Alone
Rain beaded against the window pane, running down the glass in rivets.
Rey stared sightlessly out into the dark night. She hadn't bothered to turn on the lights in her small room, preferring instead to look at the land below her window bathed in the light of the twin moons overhead.
The base was safe, for the time being at least. They'd been running for months. Their rag tag band of rebels determined to keep the spark of hope alive. It hadn't been easy. It never was.
And with each passing week, she grew more and more tired.
Reaching for the window, she splayed her hand against the cool glass.
What was left for her except war and death? Every path forward seemed soaked in blood and nothing she did could turn the tide.
She'd lost the chance months ago.
Her eyes squeezed shut at the memory.
It was so easy during the day to forget. There was strategy to develop, troops to rally. She had to be a fearless leader pressing forward every hour.
But alone in the dark there was no escaping the empty pit growing in her chest. Despair. Grief. Loneliness. Each was a poison she had no immunity against. And slowly but inexorably they were tearing her apart.
Against her will, her traitorous mind turned to the only person in the universe who would even come close to understanding.
With Snoke's death, the force bond had faded. She hadn't felt one since they'd managed to escape certain death on the Falcon all those months ago. They'd been nothing more than an artificial connection produced by evil and designed to torment.
So why, in her weakest hours, did she miss them?
Not them. Him.
Pain snaked through her chest. Ben. She didn't allow herself to think of him often. Avoided it whenever she could. But tonight, in the dark, in the rain, there was no hiding from the rawness of her emotions.
There was no escaping the fact that only one man could ever hope to match her and he was the one man she could never have.
He was never meant to be yours. It was a trick. Nothing more.
But that vision had felt so real. For one brief moment, she'd seen a path filled with hope. Where Ben wasn't her enemy but so much more.
But that future had crumbled to dust on the blood red salt fields of a desolate planet.
Forget him. Move on.
As if she'd ever be able to.
Despair clung to her, sucking her ever deeper into the darkness that whispered at the edges of her consciousness. Darkness that would banish all pain. All fear.
Her fingers flexed against the window.
It was a coward's choice. One she'd never be able to make.
Not even for…
Ben.
The name was equal parts curse and plea. Somewhere in the universe he amassed an army against her. She was probably as far from his thoughts as he should be from hers.
The pain twisted, wrapping around her heart in an icy fist.
Bowing her head, she tried to focus on nothing but the empty rain. If only it could wash away her past as easily as it did the soil outside her room.
But in the depths of her hopelessness, it wasn't the sound of raindrops that roused her.
"Rey."
She stiffened, her fingers curling against the window. A world of pain lay in that one soft word.
A word she should never have been able to hear.
For a moment she didn't turn, both afraid of what she'd find behind her and inexplicably relieved.
Inhaling for courage, she squared her shoulders and turned around.
Her small room was bathed in moonlight. It might be dim but it was enough to see the man behind her.
Ben wore his usual black uniform. His dark hair hung around his pale face, marred by a scar that should make him as monstrous as she'd once accused him of being.
Except he was so much more than that now. Her monster. Her confidante. A man she'd spoken words to that no other being had ever heard. A man who would kill her given the chance.
But tonight it wasn't fear gripping her body. In her darkest hour, her worst enemy had appeared.
And she'd missed him in a way she hadn't even realized.
"This shouldn't be happening," he said. His voice was soft, as if he too was afraid to disturb whatever power had granted them this time.
Unable to help herself, she took a step forward.
He watched her with dark eyes, neither moving to meet her nor retreating.
"Rey," he said again, the name a benediction.
She knew how he felt. This forbidden connection between them. Tying them in a way no one else would ever understand, let alone condone.
His hand flexed by his side. "Will you—"
"Don't," she whispered. She knew what question he wanted to ask her. Just as she knew she'd never be able to give him the response he wanted.
Instead she crossed the room on silent feet until she stood before him.
They studied each other in the dim light. She wondered what he saw. Was the same pain in his eyes mirrored in hers?
"Why are you here?" she whispered.
He gave the tiniest shrug. "I shouldn't be. This should be impossible. But I was…"
He stopped but she needed to hear what would come next.
"You were what?"
For the first time his gaze left hers, looking instead toward the rain soaked window she wondered if he could see.
"Thinking of you."
The words were so quiet she wondered if she'd imagined them.
But some truths were owed equal honesty.
"Me too."
His dark eyes returned to hers.
How did she admit how much she'd wanted to see him? Just for a moment. Just for one brief second.
And now he was here. An impossible man on the wrong side of the galaxy.
Unable to help herself, she raised her hand. Her fingers stretched out toward his jaw, as if she had the right to touch him.
A breath away from his skin, she hesitated.
And in her stillness he moved.
Tugging the glove from his right hand, he mirrored her movements. Fingers drifted in a phantom caress along her cheek. Both of them so close and yet, so afraid to cross that last tiny barrier between skin to skin contact.
And then, in perfect sync, they touched.
The room around her fell away as the vision rolled over her. Sunlight bathed her skin as she smiled up at the man by her side. Before them lay a world at peace. A world in balance. It was so beautiful tears stung her eyes. In her vision, she clasped hands with Ben, looking over the paradise they'd been able to create together. All because he'd turned for her. Because he'd embraced the light.
And as beautiful as the vision was, she knew with every fiber of her being he was seeing the same thing only in his eyes, they stood before an empire they'd created. One seeped in darkness but no less balanced in its own way. Another path she could have walked with the same man by her side.
Her hand dropped to her side, breaking contact. Ben moved with her, releasing her from the terrible, heartbreaking visions they'd seen.
She opened her mouth but what was there to say? They wanted the same thing but in a far different way. Two futures that couldn't coexist and neither of them would ever yield to the other.
Looking up into his eyes, she found the right words.
"In another life."
Resignation painted his features. "In another life." It was the one thing they'd ever agreed on. In another life they might have been together. They might have found what they both craved. A home. A place to belong.
A partner against all the forces of the world.
But not now.
Ben shifted, moving closer. His gaze flicked to her lips before he dipped his head. But all he did was touch his forehead to hers. This time there was no vision. No flashes of a life they'd never be able to lead.
Closing her eyes, she breathed him in. She knew, just as he did, that this was all they'd ever be able to have. Stolen moments in the dark. Weaknesses she should be strong enough to vanquish.
Instead, she stood with her enemy and reveled in the only seconds of peace she'd known since they'd parted.
A bittersweet smile twisted her lips. Tomorrow they'd go back to leading their armies toward a war no one could escape. One that would remake their entire universe.
And tear them apart as surely as death.
"Rey." Her name drifted to her ears, sounding further away that it had before.
"Ben," she whispered, knowing the words for what they were.
A goodbye neither wanted to acknowledge.
When she opened her eyes, she was once again alone with the rain in her small, dark room.
She stood for a long moment before reaching out a hand to the air in which he'd stood.
In her weakest moment, she'd reached out to an enemy. And he'd answered.
While a galaxy and a war divided them, he'd let her know one simple truth that was everything and nothing all at once.
Whatever she was, hero, traitor, Jedi, orphan, she was one thing more.
No matter what came next she could hold one truth close to her heart and know.
She was never, ever alone.
The End
A/N: I hope you enjoyed this story! It's been a while since I posted in the fanfic world. If you like my writing, please feel free to check out my other fics or my published romance novels under the penname Victoria Davies available on Amazon, Entangled Publishing, or on my website at victoriadavies . ca. Happy reading!