Dr. Elliot suggested a new form of therapy, which he claims to have positive effects on the majority of his clientele. So, I'm giving it a shot.
Elliot asked me to write down occurrences throughout my day and take the healing process on step at a time. At first I didn't like the idea; putting your thoughts on paper and making them real, to be honest, it isn't for me. But then I realized in the silence of these pages I can be selfish, and tell you everything.
I thought about you today.
I think about you all the time, but I voluntarily thought about you today. I wondered what you were doing and where you are. I remembered the last time I saw you in the airport taking separate flights out of Paris, after we decided to move on. Your soul was old, wisdom drifting through your eyes, as if you'd lived one thousand lives; never settling on one definite dream. You understood what it meant to love, but was never given the luxury of the feeling you so deeply craved. I'm sorry I couldn't love you like you loved me. We were both so young then, and I was protecting myself from the infinite mark of pain you would leave on my every thought. But the only pain you left me with was the pain of regret, not knowing where you are and who you're with; just knowing that you're not with me. Because I tried to erase you.