"I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to hurt you." I tried to apologize to her but she wouldn't give.
"Yeah, you always don't mean to hurt me but you do! At first it seemed like it was just accidental but it's so often now, I'm sure you do it on purpose." Julia said, looking at me while her hand was on the knob of my door, waiting for the perfect time to turn it and run out.
"Why would I hurt you on purpose? Do you even hear yourself or is your head too thick to realize that's ridiculous?" I yelled without thinking.
I could see the tears forming in her eyes once more. Like they did every other night we fought. It was so often now, it seemed like we did every night but there was something about tonight that made it worse then ever.
"There is nothing wrong with my head. But I'm pretty sure there's something wrong with yours." The perfect moment came and she ran out my room angrily. I could hear her mumbling but could only make out one sentence, I can't believe I put up with this.
"Julia, I'm sorry." I said, running after her down the steps.
"You're always sorry, Eli. Always. And I can't put up with it anymore. I've been around long enough, thinking you'd stop but you won't. I just can't anymore." She ran out the door and down the steps to her bike. It was just sitting there, waiting to be rode off into the misty night.
But I grabbed her wrist before she got on it. She stared to look at me and I could see hurt written all over her face. I wanted to make it better, but I couldn't figure out how.
"Julia, I seriously am sorry. I…I love you." I said, so faintly. I never told anyone I loved them but I loved her and I had to tell her before she ran away from me.
She stared into my eyes, as if she was thinking of something to say. Finally, she said, "Eli, I can't deal with you anymore."
I stared blankly at her. I just told her I loved her and all she could say was 'I can't deal with you anymore'?
"Fine, then just go. I guess you don't need me, so why should I waste my time on something as useless as you?" I said, without thinking once again.
As she reached her boiling point, the tears started flooding from her eyes and she rode off without thinking. I sat down on my step and thought about what I just did. I just ran away the girl I loved.
My senses finally came to me and I walked the way she usually went home on her bike. Halfway there, I saw a car with bright lights sitting on the side of the road and there was something in front of it. As I got closer, I saw legs and on the feet were bright red destructed low cut Converse. Exactly like the ones Julia was wearing.
I could feel fear forming up in me and I never felt that much fear before. I slowly walked closer and saw Julia lying there with her eyes closed. I could see red on the ground next to her head and I felt tears forming in my eyes. I was so prone to not crying that it felt almost not normal.
After I saw her, flashes of pictures flooded into my mind. The first time I met her and spoke to her. The time I tried to teach her how to drive Morty and she crashed him but not too bad, luckily. The first time we kissed. It was all too much and I kneeled down next to her, holding her cold hand. And then I broke down, all the fighting leaded up to this. To her dying. If I would've never started anything in the first place, she wouldn't be here dead. It was my fault she died and I would never be able to live with that again. Or even be in a relationship again.
Another picture formed in my head. A picture of her and how beautiful she was. The way her blue-green eyes turned more blue in the day time and green in the night. The way her shoulder length dark brown hair hung straight down, shining in the light. The way her skin was so pale, it almost looked like she was paper but at the same time, it was beautiful. She was beautiful. Almost too beautiful.
Why did she have to go so soon? When would I find someone who was remotely as wonderful as Julia again? I wouldn't because finding someone took way too long. But just like that, the closest person to me was gone and it was my fault.
Ever since I saw the episode when Eli told Clare about his girlfriend, I wanted to write this. So, I hope you liked it. Press the button below and tell me what you thought about it.